Defiance: Birth of the Renegades
by Kasan Soulblade
Summary: From the distruction of one man's illusion will come the birth of the Renegades. Thus begins a centuries long quest to destroy Cruxis from the inside out...
1. Night flight

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Prologue: Nighttime flight

"_All illusions break eventually... time or trust twist and the illusion dies, and when illusion goes... well in it's breaking it is very probable that it will be us that breaks right along with it."_ Kratos Aurion,

Yuan trembled in rage. Yggdrasil's purple wings fanned the air lazily and the half elf pulled a strand of blue hair out of his eyes that was plastered to his face by the breeze. He met those unreadable storm hued orbs of the angel lord. Dressed in almost skin tight pants and long sleeve shirt Yggdrasil stared at him, unblinking, unmoved. Running long fingers, slender graceful digits through long golden locks the lord of Heaven's lips turned down just the slightest around the edges. It was a frown; few people lived very long after that gesture. He ignored the gesture, blinked through the blinding light at the supposed being that was purity incarnate.

"I gave you a command Yuan."

"Mithos..." Yuan gritted his teeth, "you've never told us to kill."

"Not you, never you. YetKratos has, he takes up all the killing when he can. But he is currently escorting the Chosen of Tehte'alla at the moment and this may not wait."

"K... Kratos has been killing?"

"When they fail he kills them, an effective practice." Yggdrasil smirked. "It cleans up the bloodline for us, so that only the closest matches survive."

Yuan shivered at that, the images of Kratos's Flamberg shearing through the flesh of half angel half human beings. Of children, for non older then twenty were allowed to go on the journey... Tormented by minds that would never cease yammering, or eyes that could never close and seek slumber. It would be a kind of mercy, a dark mercy. Still... had he been mortal bile would have rose to his lips, as it was his stomach writhed on nothing but air and he felt a emptiness along his face and hands. The blood receding from those places went to dwell in the heart and other secret homes of his body. It pulled away so that he may not see nor touch the evil before him. Had he been mortal he would have been cold, shaking from that bitter cold. As an angel, unable to feel hot or cold, he just was empty.

A man can go crazy being empty for so long, when his sanity echoes on the walls of thought and finds nothing to touch. Kratos had said that to him, a year ago a decade? Who knew or cared? But the man had said it and perhaps now he understood that Kratos was right. It was a slow insanity, in this game, in this waiting.

Old words, his, Mithos', both, it was both their litany against the madness, they came to him.

_It was all for Martel, all of this for her, nothing else mattered save her, the world could end, it didn't matter... nothing mattered..._

Once as a half elf he's have licked his lips and took in the bitter taste of the tears born by his sins, now if did not bother. For he could taste nothing.

"What must I do?"

Mithos smiled a child's smile then laughed rich warm laughter. It was in perfect harmony, rich and warm to him and it was a sound he liked a great deal, because it was the closest things to the old Mithos that he ever saw these days and was rarer then a Roc with teeth.

X

_"Kill the failed Chosen, her parents are dead, non will care, she lives on the outskirts of the town of Ozette, located in..." _

_"Mithos I know Tethe'alla, I was born there." _

_"The worlds have changed, greatly, after all it's been five centuries since you left Derris Kharlan, humans are antsy, filled with motion and plans, they build and break, re-build, all at mad whim."_

That they did. Yuan glided over the trees, a pink aura shed by his wings stained the over glorified children's tree houses below a multitude of fanciful hues. He glided on wings of a child's dream, like a omen of light he would bring peace upon those who saw him, like a nightmare he would bring horror upon one soul. But it would only be one who suffered, on child, and then he would go back to Martel.

"And what will you say, beloved I killed a child in your name, she'd be horrified..." Yuan growled to himself, kicking off one of those annoyingly low branches and spiraling higher.

Ironic how the poor lived higher up, while the wealthy made do at the bottom and built their homes amongst the roots, in other societies the rich favored the higher perches so they could lord over their properties with more ease. Still the better off had more space, they had sturdier structures and were nestled between living walls that cradled them against the elements. Plus it would take them very little time to up and leave in case of a fire...

For the poor, well, let them burn, that was the unspoken motto of the Ozettians.

"Two thousand years and you'd think we'd have done something about the damn social class stigmas in the world. If Mithos had even listened to my twist on the propaganda we sent out last century they might have been significantly lessened..."

Grumbling about the stupidity of humans, one of his favorite subject to discuss with Kratos over a game of _Trava_, Yuan entertained himself with polishing up a few more mental barbs for their debate next century. While doing so he decided to consult the map Mithos had provided, fumbling through pouches, thinking on a future conversation, it was a strain on his Angelic mind but not by much. He could handle both tasks; it was managing the third that was what went too far. He should have considered the more important of the three.

He should have watched where he was flying.

Finally, he had the map, unrolled it and looked down at the mess of homes below. "Ah, there's the street now if I follow the-"

There was a curious crunch, a span of disorientation, and a bit of pain in his skull. He blanked for a moment, than found himself spiraling down, his wings, smarter then the rest of him, disappeared. Before the vanished with a puff of pink smoke he saw a branch about the size of a small tree falling besides him.

_That's what happened_

The branch beat him to the roof, opened a nice sized hole that he fell through. He smashed his stomach against the branch, and weakly rolled off of the damned thing, falling onto a gasping heap in the center of what was some type of communal greeting room. Moaning he rolled over, his cape a tangled mess of fabric under hm, leaves marring his blue hair and falling away from the points of his ears.

Trying to move, or speak, or anything was too much at the moment, so he panted and watched the stars flash in his vision. He would have cursed when he heard a door open, but cursing took air, which was a precious commodity at the moment and could not be wasted.

"Hello?"

Closing his eyes Yuan tried to roll over and get up, his hand slipped on the slick silk cape and he managed to fall on his stomach. Which was more abuse, which his belly did not like, and told him so by aching.

"Oh Sweet Martel, are you alright?"

A child's voice, a very young child's voice by the sound of it. Yuan opened his eyes as small hands checked his pulse then rolled him over so he was on his back. Strong little kid, he endured the rolling over and looked into the cat green eyes of his child savior. She was small, not exactly gaunt but there were some shallowness of the face where better lurked the night shadows as they filled in the few gaps left by a few hard nights of not eating.

Huh, this kid couldn't be no more then eleven, twelve... Mithos had been that old once...

"Who are you, do you have a name?"

Yuan winced, he did not like children, hated them with an unholy passion, and decided to close his eyes and make the nightmare go away...

"Are you the nice person who comes down chimneys and give presents?"

"No..." Yuan managed to croak.

"Hmmm are you a burglar?"

"No."

_Go to sleep, it's all a nightmare, you'll wake up with Martel and be able to tell her all about... _

_Martel was dead. _

_Angels do not sleep._

Sighing, telling himself to just face reality he opened his eyes and firmly swatted the small hand that had lifted up his cloak.

"What in Gods name are you doing?"

"Lookin' for your wings."

Yuan blinked, and the girl laughed at his expression, it was a shrill grating laugh that made his teeth clench at it's total lack of discipline.

"Well you aren't a squirrel, you don't have a tail. You aren't a bird, you don't have a beak. You aren't a burglar cuz you said so. You aren't a Sandy Clause because you don't have reindeer... So that means you're an angel... but you don't have any wings."

Observational little beast... Yuan smiled slightly despite himself.

"I'm... an in training angel..." Yuan grunted, rubbing his stomach. "My wings come and go..." At their own sadistic will which is why I should have just damn well walked... but no I had to practice flying again just to prove that I'm better then Kratos... He managed not to say that last bit, but it was a trial.

"Oh... are you lost? I know everywhere in Ozette!"

Considering the fall he was a little disoriented, he decided to trust the little urchin to point him in the right direction. After all the Chosen's House was probably a damn monument to the people of this town.

And he could give the child some gald or something to pay for the roof repairs if nothing else...

"Where are your parents?" Yuan decided to fight to his feet, he was given a small hand and he decided that for a child, the helpful girl wasn't all that bad.

"They died." He blinked at that cool tone, a little alarmed by it. "The Shiny Heads took them."

"Shin... Ah the Desian's." Yuan coughed, a bit uncomfortable by that steady green gaze. Martel had had eyes like that, shining emerald pools that he felt he could just drown in, shelfing that memory, because thinking of her would make this harder then it should be, Yuan changed the subject. "Do you know where the Chosen lives?"

"Yes." She looked nervous now, shifted from foot to foot and danced in place. "Are you here to take me home?"

Yuan stared at her for a long moment, not comprehending. He was no student or author of the holy writ, that title fell upon Mithos who had crafted most of the rituals and stories of the "Martel faith".

"The Angels take the Chosen to her home, is that why you're here, to take me home?"

Rage boiled in him, anger, this was a child, not a Chosen. This girl was a babe in arms. And she was looking at him with a mix of terror and hope. The Angels brought salvation, initiated the ritual of the Chosen. They brought death and pain to the Chosen but through the trials of the Chosen saved the world. This girl had been reared to believe that, little wonder she was scared.

"Y-" Yuan stared into those innocent eyes, he had been ordered to take a sizable sample of flesh so that Mithos could study the genetic code and see where the flaw was in this girl. "No, I am not."

"Y-no?" She frowned.

Observant and curious, not over awed though she knew the truth, he was impressed at the child's cool headed nature.

Even as it repulsed him that Mithos wanted this baby dead. She may not be in her cradle but compared to the being before her who would have lived for a thousand years or more had he been allowed a normal life span.

"I am uncertain of my course at the moment." Yuan said slowly, not quite believing what he said as he was saying it.

"Oh... Can Angels be confused?"

"I guess we can." Yuan said slowly, rather uncomfortable at being addressed as an Angel. In Derris Kharlan he was known as Lord Yuan by the lesser Angels, addressed as Yuan by Mithos and Kratos, or "annoying pointy eared bastard" if Kratos was in a spectacular bout of bad humor.

She was about his height when he was sitting down, when he stood she would be about up to his waist. Shaking his head in wonder of it all, he pulled out that annoying lock of blue hair that always fell into his eyes every chance it got. He stared at the child in her ragged brown clothes and mentally shook his head. Even Kratos, for all his coldness, could not have killed such a young child, not even Mithos, there had to be a mistake somewhere in all of this.

He'd just have to find it, to discover what it was.


	2. Rene

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 2

"Rene."

_You take a step down the wrong road and there is no turning back. There is no redemption until someone else forgives you, looks to you in askance, and in response to that askance you pull yourself out of your private Hell to make amends. Kratos Aurion_

He had forgotten what it was like to be a mortal, had forsaken it so long ago. His eyes were distant as he looked at the past and remained oblivious to the present. Not a wise thing to do with a child underfoot, he would soon learn. Yuan came to himself with the sound of a pot rattling and the smell of something burning. It was the second that worried him; he shook himself and banished the chilling touch of reminiscence from the corridors of his mind. Now fully in the here and now, he walked on unsteady feet to the kitchen.

"Hi!" The girl looked up from watching black fumes slither out from a bubbling pot. The rattling he'd heard was from an over large spoon that she had been stirring the bubbling stuff with. It now floated in the… mixture… as the bubbling was now so violent, her little hands could not longer guide it. Yuan stared at the brew in horror: two bowls had been laid out on the table. His horror deepened. This creature was making them breakfast it seemed, and in all probability that breakfast would be the death of them both.

"What… _is_ that?" Yuan lifted a sleeve to his mouth and coughed.

"Porridge, Momma used to make it all the time..."

Yuan winced at the reminder, but it was more in response to the smell that seemed to take hellish delight in drifting under his nose. He coughed, thanking the gods that his sense of smell was muffled or else he'd probably be retching. Empty stomach or not he would have been vomiting, it was that damned bad.

"Does… your mother's… cooking smell this bad when she does it?"

"No… I think the cinnamon's bad but I don't know how to check it…" She blushed at her lack of knowledge and Yuan mentally sighed. He hated helplessness, but then that might have steamed from the fact that he was in a rather hopeless helpless situation himself. "Could you check, Mr. Angel?"

She then thrust the bottle under his nose, almost ramming it up his nose. He stepped back, glared down at her, then with a verbal sigh snatched the bottle and gave a tentative sniff. He blinked at the acidic smell assaulted his nostrils, than lifted the bottle so he could read the front. He stared at the writing in common that wrapped around the bottle; there was no picture in the front to help the illiterate, which this girl must be by her actions. He set the bottle aside then looked down at the child, the Chosen, the one he was supposed to kill.

"This isn't cinnamon, what else did you put in that pot?"

She trotted off, leaving the brew to burn to show him what she had put in, since she didn't remember the names. While she was gone Yuan muttered a few words and damped the fire with a thought. She returned to see him fish the spoon out of the pot and plop a mass of black, green, and brown sludge, into one of the bowl -- well he tried. The stuff from the pot clung onto the spoon, and not matter of shaking would part the sludge from the large cooking utensil. He said a few unholy words at the stuff and threw it back into the pot with a growl.

"I thought Angels were supposed to be nice," the girl said, probably protesting at his "not nice" words at her food.

"I must have skipped that part in the manual," Yuan growled, running a hand through his blue locks.

"Manual?"

"A book. It tells you how to be an angel, I guess."

"Oh, well, what do you think? Did I use the best stuff or what?"

Yuan stared at the pile of bottles, bags, and cans she'd brought: eggs, honey, bread, wheat, flour, water, Tabasco sauce, ground black peppers, salt, beans… Beans? Yuan stared at the girl's earnest expression and it bit his lower lip to keep from howling in laughter.

"Just promise me you won't grow up to be a chief," Yuan said at last, the suspicious waver to his tone went right over her little head.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind." Yuan lost his humor, his face went emotionless in a heartbeat. "Sit down; I'll cook something for you. Is this all the food you have?"

She nodded and he wondered at the brutality of humans. Someone should have taken her in. A neighbor, a friend -- someone should have cared. No one cared, she was obviously eating what was to be the winter food stuff, and with no skills at cooking it was a wonder she hadn't killed herself yet by food poisoning. He picked up the pile of food, fished through the scanty ingrediants, and had to wonder how Kratos had managed to cook for the seven of them during the journey. Mithos, Martel, and Maverick had been such fussy eaters. He'd been an indifferent eater as had Mav's little sister, Selune. As wonderful as she was, his beloved was a fussy woman when it came to her food. Mithos would throw a tantrum if he saw so much of a hint of asparagus, broccoli, or greens and that bastard Maverick had been just as bad. And that damned bird! Yuan's lips quirked in a slight smile at the memories. Nosh… Nost… Noishe, that was it, Noishe had been a royal nuisance, swooping down on someone's plate and picking off the choosiest morsels for himself.

"We should have used that damned bird as a holy day's feast," Yuan grumbled, recalling the hundred and one times Noishe had swooped down and ate his curry.

"Did you say something, Mr. Angel?"

"Ah... nothing… just be a good girl and wait quietly…" Yuan stared at the food stuff and frowned, recalling his orders. He was to kill this child; the most likely way now would to be poison. She trusted him, was waiting for a meal, with those two opportunities the cleanest way would be to perhaps slip in some nightshade. While there was none in the house –only fools leave a plant that dangerous around with a child underfoot-- it would be little effort on his part to go and pick some up since the plant was common to this area.

She'd fall asleep and never wake up, quiet, clean, and simple.

He picked up a cooing knife, pulled down a skillet from its hook on the wall, and with a wave of his hand made the fire flare back up. She "ooh"ed at the display of magic and he would have smiled at her enjoyment of the spectacle if the circumstances had been different. He mentally steeled himself and looked straight into those emerald eyes -- eyes that Martel herself could have owned.

"What would you like for breakfast, Chosen?"

She winced at the title. "Don't call me Chosen, please. I don't like it."

"What would you rather be called then?" Yuan decided to humor the girl-child; after all it was the thing's last day on this world.

"My name's Rene." She frowned, seemed to think of something then looked at him for a long long moment. "Do Angels have names?"

"Some of us do." Yuan mentally added -those who could remember their names and their souls were the only ones who did have names- but kept that thought to himself. "I am Yuan."

"That's a silly name."

Yuan tapped the knife against the counter. He soft "tick" of a dull blade tapping against wood was the only indication that his humor was going to turn foul any moment.

"It is my name," he said at last. "Silly or not, it is mine."

"I'm sorry…" The creature kicked its legs against the legs of the stool it was perched upon. "That wasn't very nice, was it?"

"No, it was not. Now what will you have?"

"Pancakes, porridge, and scrambled eggs?"

He stared at the few things in front of him. There was no way in Efreet's fiery hell that he had the means to make _all_ that.

"I'll make you some eggs now… and I'll go outside to pick up some ingredients for the rest of it." Yuan offered.

"Really?" The creature with Martel's eyes looked at him and smiled. "That'd be really nice. Are you my… _Derris fa Gothson?"_

"Not unless you want me to pick up a spade and make a garden outside."

"Oh… Opps… Sorry, it's _Gathsuun_ right?"

"Yes, and…" Yuan stared at the child, into those eyes, into Martel's eyes, and made his decision. "Yes, I guess… I am."

She smiled at him. "That's nice, not everyone gets to meet their own guardian angel. It's fine that you're in training, I mean I'm just a little kid, so I guess I'm an in training too."

Yuan nodded, and focused on the eggs. He watched them cook as if they were the most important thing in the world, but his mind was mulling, planning, and wondering at what this flash of impulsive emotion was going to cost him.

It might in the end cost him everything; logically it was not the safe or even sane course to take.

But if they brought her back -- if the "Regeneration" ever did succeed -- he would at the very least be able to look Martel in the eyes when she came back to him.

X

"Do you know what time it is?"

"I hardly care, do as I say," Yuan snapped, the scared Rene clinging to him while he stood on the porch of the once sleeping general good store owner. He'd gone out and stolen all the ingredients for her breakfast then told her they were going somewhere safe because he "sensed evil nearby". He then remembered that he needed food for her to eat if he was going to keep her alive for any length of time, so he had marched them both to the nearest store.

"Is that… like Hell I'm helping _her_! I don't help half breeds!" The man spat and moved to close the door. While he was a bear of a man, he was a mere child in strength compared to Yuan. The Seraph wrenched the door open, grimly shoved the startled human back into the shadow thick darkness of the house and told Rene to be good and stay on the porch. He'd then stalked after his pray, and with a few well-placed Lightning Orbs made the man very compliant and meek. He got the key as well as instructions to help themselves to anything they wanted.

"Come, Rene." He jangled the keys, feeling pleased to have knocked an arrogant racist human down fifty or so pegs. "He said help ourselves so we shall."

"He wasn't nice when he met us at the door," the girl protested, holding onto his black cape so that she wouldn't lose sight of him in the thick darkness.

"You just have to be persuasive."

"Oh…" She stopped in the center of the road, and since she was holding his cape, he was forced to stop too. "You aren't mad, that I'm a… you know…"

"A half elf? Don't cringe from it, Rene. You are as you are."

"But everyone else says it's bad!"

"So?"

"But…"

Yuan sighed, tugging his cape until Rene let go of the ends. He turned to face her, knelt so that his face was even with hers. Slowly, almost shyly, she pushed the hair back away from his ears at his mental command. The feeling of a small hand on his face was certainly strange, the feather light pulse that hammered against her skin made her soft caress a sold touch with an echo behind it. He would have cringed or flinched back, but she needed this so he steeled himself and let her fingers pull aside a curtain of blue locks that ghosted over his ears. She gasped, stared at the pointy ear, and then poked it to see if it was real. He couldn't help himself and he grimaced at that.

"It's not a toy, Rene." Yuan stood, pulled the hair back over his ears. "It's my ear, and it doesn't appreciate being poked."

"Oh, sorry."

"Shall we go back to walking?"

Yuan stood and turned, offering his cloak to her. Small hands grasped the cape, and she happily trotted behind him, flapping the ends every now and again. He just quietly endured and picked his way down the wooden roads, wondering for the thousandth time about the sanity of those who liked to live in trees. Everyone, he decided, who lived in Ozette was crazy . . . Rene excluded, of course.

Review responses:

Strawberry eggs: Thanks, Yuan fics are rare so this will be a new ground for me to trod. Actually I've hinted at how he made the renegades in my other fics "Broken" and "Mentality" this will be stringing the hints I've laid out in those stories together and seeing what comes of it.

Katrina Ice Angel of Darkness: Your wait is over, my Beta got back to me on chapter 2 a little while back so I am now updating.

Sylvia Viridian: so epic sounding "so it begins" very Gandalf sounding :) first gandalf sounding review I've ever got. Hopefully my spin on Yuan will keep you interested.

Saffire Persian: Thanks for going over this, and Kratos and the Elf elder talk of Noishe's other forms in the game if you pick the Kratos ending. Go to Hemdall and you'll hear the whole Protozoan speach, and it's heavily alluded that Kratos met Noishe during his travels with Mithos and co. Kratos even says "I may not be with you when you change again my friend" which in my mind is a strong hint that Noishe was in his Areos (avian) form during the original Journey 4000 yrs ago.


	3. Truth to dry tinder

_Truth is a powerful thing, it influences everything, how people see us, how we see others, and what we do in the world. It just depends, whose truth are you telling, what truths you are hiding, and how you deal with the hidden truth when it comes out in the open._

_Rene "Vol'esse" Lavin_

Defiance: birth of the Renegades

Chapter 3

"Truth to dry tinder…"

"I wanna story Mr. Yuan."

Yuan stared at the girl, she'd meekly gone through the portal between world, had snuggled in his arms and then scrunched up her eyes while he'd flown them through the portal. Before that she had endured almost a d- err night of walking. She endured it all, never with a word of complaint, occasionally with am insightful question, and only once had she screamed when she saw a living tree about to attack them.

For a young child she seemed very self controlled, very… adult. He had begun to think of her like that when he didn't look at her but then now she had done a full turn on him and was asking for a story.

Just like any child should he supposed.

While he liked her control, her presence, and her curiosity, he had to admit the fact still remained…

He hated children. He could not tell stories, knew no games. Perhaps it was not children he hated per say but the fact that he did not comprehend them because he had never been allowed to be a child himself. He'd lived in the gutters; on the more vile sides of the village he had been born. At five he was no stranger to watching the pathetic sink to lower levels of pathos when they waged their little gang wars. At eight a man had his throat cut only a few feet from his sleeping place and he had watched, unable to turn away. Hardened, embittered, he was a cold distant child whose icy locks had suited the icy avenues his mind.

Who'd had known, who would have know that a girl a year older then himself skirting on the edges of his dark world would have roused the last remnants of his compassion. How when he'd shoved her away from the Hell of gross poverty she'd turn, take his hand, and bring him with her.

_"We can't stay here, Mother and Father won't make it for another year like this, we're going to go somewhere else and I'm not leaving you here by yourself!" _

"Martel." Yuan had smiled at his younger friend, his only friend. "I can't go with you. It's not like I'm family or nothing."

"You are coming; Papa said he'd hunt you down and tan your hide if you didn't."

"Phht, he'd never catch me!"

"I'll tell him all your hiding places." Martel had smirked and Yuan cursed himself for showing her all of them, he had trusted her and now she was double crossing him! This is why you never trusted girls!

Being only seven he snapped out the only word he could think of. "Tattle-teller!"

He looked down at the child who was snuggling in the soft blankets, getting ready for her story no doubt. Yuan had encouraged her to pick out for herself the blankets she needed as he could only tell by eye which ones might be comfortable. Eyes could be deceived and his sense of touch being almost dead it had just been wiser over all to order the girl to decide. She, now snug as she could get, was looking up at him with such hopeful green eyes.

Martel had looked at him like that.

With hope, happiness, joy, curiosity.

With life, there had been so little life in his world. Now look at him, protecting this little one by picking her up and running, knowing in his heart that if Mithos ever caught onto this little game it would be the end of them both.

"Mr. Angel, could you tell me a story now… pleeeease?"

Yuan frowned, not at the shrill "please" but at the reference of him being an angel.

"Well... what type of story would you like?" He hedged, wishing Kratos' ability for stories would come to him right then.

"Hmmm how about the story of the Angels and Goddess?"

"Now why would you want to know about that?" Yuan sat down on the sands, they were annoying, rough, but then you could describe the whole of Triet like that.

"Well it seems Chosen-ish you know?"

"Rene…" Yuan sighed, wondered why he was going to say this, and what it would cause to happen. "You don't have to be a Chosen anymore unless you really want to be."

"But if I don't then bad things will happen!"

"There was more then one Chosen child, a... friend of mine is escorting that child to each seal."

"Then I… don't?"

"No," Yuan smiled at the child, pleased she understood. "You don't."

She looked at him, tears gathered in her soft spring hued eyes. To his complete confusion she held onto him and cried and while he might have been an angel he was not a monster. He took the small girl in his arms while she let out her tears, gently stroking her hair as he had for Martel the few times she had cried.

"Rene..." He frowned, realizing he knew nothing of her but her name. If was truly one of those devout ones then he words might very well have broken every dream that she'd ever held. Mentally he cursed his own stupidity, if he actually thought things through instead of opening his mouth and "yapping" as Kratos -his brother Seraph- was all too fond of accusing him of doing.

Another realization came to him, he had no idea what to say, so he said nothing and just held her.

"I'm... su... sorry I didn't mean to cry... Chosen's aren't su... supposed to cry are they?" She sniffled and he had the image of her snatching the corner of his cloak to clean her nose. He mentally recoiled form that image and kept the shudder it inspired internal.

"You aren't a Chosen anymore Rene, so you don't need to act like one." Yuan managed, it seemed a horrible thing to say, after all it was all she knew how to be, and he had just taken that away from her...

She looked at him, green eyes marred with hints of red, her small face swollen from the storm of tears. He reached out and gently brushed away the tears with a finger, pulled the tangled threads of green from her emerald eyes. He looked down at her and a child version of Martel looked back...

Except it wasn't Martel.

The shape of her face is wrong, Martel had a heart shape face and this child is definitely oval... and this girl's eyes.. that is definitely a Mizuho slant to her eyes...

This wasn't Martel, he was risking his life, his eternal soul, for a child who faintly resembled Martel.

_What am I doing? _

He stroked her hair and she smiled up at him, then that smile faltered just a little as she looked into his eyes.

_She can see my confusion, she can see into my mind and tell I don't know what I'm doing...  
_

Yuan had made his decision, he could not let this child who so resembled Martel die, he could not give her to Mithos. But he didn't know what to do with her now. As Kratos would put it, he was playing the fools game. Putting a blindfold over his eyes and tossing the razor sharp dagger up and down reaching out and hoping that he grasped the hilt every time.

"When... when something bad happens and you're confused a friend of mine once said that it's best to think about something else and sleep on it. That the answer to the big problem would come after you went to bed, or at least would come easier."

Rene nodded, squirmed, and he let her go. She wiggled back under the mess of blankets and looked up at him expectantly.

"On... once upon a time, there were seven heros, and they uhh did things that heros should do I guess. They saved people and did nice things." Yuan grimaced, how did Kratos -using such juvenile words he might add!- pull this off? "There were four elves and a protozoan and three humans all traveling together and saving people and waking up the sleeping spirits while they tried to wake up a sleeping tree."

A very very gross over simplification of what they were doing but she wouldn't understand the full explanation, still he had to wince. Why was he telling this story? It wasn't a good one and it didn't end happy or anything like a child's story should.

"Do trees sleep?"

"Yes, this tree did anyways, and it was a very very sleepy tree."

He flogged his memory, tried to think of a story that occurred on their journey that would be suitable for Rene to hear.

X

_"I swear to Origin if it doesn't wake up now I'll..." _

"Do what, kick it? 'Tis a spirit Kratos-sama, not a person."

"Well!" Kratos snapped, looking very annoyed at the newest spirit they had supposedly "awakened" with their prayers. Gnome just hovered there and stared blankly into space... "For the love of Luna WAKE UP!"

"Kratos-chan is in a very nasty mood isn't he?" Sylune muttered to Martel.

"If he were a woman he'd have an excuse at least." Maverick growled.

"What did you just say!" Both woman turned on Maverick, eyes blazing.  
"Uhhh... you know... Moon days and all that... Oh crap, life flashing before eyes..." Maverick fingered his mace and took a few steps back.

"Yuan, what are Martel and Sylune mad about?" Mithos asked, innocent eyes wide in confusion.

"Nothing!"_ Yuan snapped. _

"Yo!" pulling a whistle out of somewhere, no one saw where, Gnome blew on it and everyone stared at him in shock. "What's with waking me? I was having this dream with this really cool girl..."

"Well it's up, happy now Kratos?" Maverick snapped, taking a few steps away from the women who were now holding their staves and approaching with bloody murder plans written on their faces.

"This... is Gnome..."

"Wow.. so you're Origin's Chosen, didn't realize he picked such a prude."

"WHAT!" Kratos' eyes flashed with rage.

"Opps was I not supposed to say that... oh bad little old me I guess."

"Yuan what are Kratos and Gnome talking about? I don't get it!"

Yuan put a hand over his face and from the corner of his eyes saw the green hawk doing the exact same thing with a wing.

"Yuaaan.." Mithos whined, showing the world that he was only twelve years old and as ignorant and innocent and pure as fresh fallen snow. "What's going on?"

"Just some ah.. a little inter party bickering." Yuan said, refusing to open his eyes.

"No offense but if this is a "little" fighting... don't wanna see it when you guys really go at each other." Gnome chuckled. "Are you the only sane one here or what?"

"It feels like it." Yuan confided to the spirit.

X

"Mr. Yuan, why did you stop your story, your heros got to the tunnels and found the alter, then what happened?"

"Ah, I believe it's time for someone to go to bed!" Yuan gulped Martel -if she ever did come back- would skin him alive for even telling a highly edited version of that seal to a mere baby.

"But I'm not-"

"Just.. go to bed alright... I'll tell you the rest later."

"Alright... good night Yuan."

"Sleep well Rene. Enjoy your slumber."

_Have pleasant dreams for those of us who can not sleep... _

Yuan sighed and turned to the night, and lost himself to thought for a time.

A/N: Anom. reviews (which I can no longer answer on the site) and other questions with spoilers will be addressed at my new site...

h t t p / w w w . xanga . com / Kasan Soulbalde

http/ 


	4. A pair of Crimson Gloves

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

_It's shockingly easy to deceive, one misleading word, one fraudulent expression, and you kill the truth. Once dead, truth may be replaced with anything, and that's what makes lies so alluring, so powerful. _

_Yuan Vor'esse_

Chapter 4

A pair of Crimson gloves

_A/N: flashback central, or is it flashback? I mentioned that Yuan has a very hard time controling his own mind in "Broken" this was written in an attempt to simulate and expressthat weakness. Gore, or rather implied gore of a rather high order. If there's a problem with ranking then tell me and I'll bump this to Mature_

The table was triangular, each point of the table was rounded out and a chair set before it. So apart yet together the three seraphim of Cruxis sat, a mana rendered map of the split worlds stood before them. There was no fear of drink or food disrupting the ancient hologram, as the three of them had no need for nourishment and rarely bothered to even mime there mortal habits anymore.

The three at the table were images of perfect holiness. Wings gently pressed against their sides, their faces were calm, serene as they took their respective seats. There was no cushioning on the stark stone chairs, but then considering that none of them could have actually felt that comfort such niceties were not missed. Yggdrasil stood; his white tunic and pants caught the magi light and glistened as if the fabric had caught the very stars upon its making. Yuan could not wince, could not flinch, so he settled for blinking once so his eyes would adjust and remaining statue still there after. He noted with dull fascination that all color seemed leached out of this room, and he had to wonder how he missed noting this phenomenon before. Kratos' pale blue cape, his off grey tunic, and the mess of earthen hued belts that wound around his frame would have been the man's trademark that was, stark and foreboding, yet –somehow- decorative. In this room earth appeared to be dust and the other paler colors were lost. Even those night hued eyes and wild auburn hair appeared to have no more color than the aged lines of colored chalk. Having no mirrors about Yuan could not see how he was changed, but for once he was a little self conscious about it. If he looked as his companions did then he must be comparable to a corpse left frozen in the wasteland of Falnoir.

How ironic that this gathering of corpses with their washed out colors could well have been an image out of the scriptures. Perhaps someone truly devout would have seen it as three angels watching over the world, planning it's salvation with their infinite wisdom. A rather pretty illusion, totally contrasted to what it was going to be: A millennia's worth of tension released in an extended verbal snipping match where once again Mithos was going to flaunt his superiority over them all.

"Lord Yggdrasil, Lord of Heaven, Bringer of Light, Wielder of Eternal Salvation." Kratos hissed, there was more sarcasm then normal lacing his tone. "We the angels of Cruxis gather before you to tell you of the twin worlds that you in your infinite _wisdom_ have crafted."

"Yes," Mithos' eyes snapped over Kratos. "And I so hope your report detail a very good reason to your latest failure, _Derris fa Sith_."

Kratos stiffened ever so slightly. It was so slight that the Seraph's blue cape did not even rustle, but to an angel's eyes, damned things that miss nothing -that who never close in rest or blessed forgetfulness- the motion was enough to be damning.

"There was a reason I hope?" Yggdrasil hissed.

"The child killed herself after being unable to sleep for two weeks." Kratos replied in a dull monotone.

"You did not stop her!" Yggdrasil's long slender hands clenched and hints of lightning crackled amongst the digits.

"Rather hard to stop someone from dying after they consumed nightshade behind your back. I was only aware she had… freed herself from her title of Chosen after she collapsed at my feet." Kratos' lips became a thin line. "Considering the only symptom of nightshade poisoning is swiftly falling asleep and she was physically incapable of doing so I can safely say there were no warnings."

Yggdrasil gritted his teeth, raising a hand the King of the Seraphim mimed throwing something and a pillar on the other side of the room exploded into silver flame.

"Colorful…" Kratos murmured, watching the display –and the other thousand that he'd seen like it- with a bitter smile curling his lips. "How many rooms do you plan to burn down like this my_ Lord_?"

"She could have been the one to bring back Martel!" Yggdrasil roared, hopping to his feet to fully wallow in his childish rage. It was to Yuan's amusement that he noted that the "Lord of Heaven's" golden hair so paled Yuan could have compared it to the color of animal piss.

Kratos only shrugged, turned to look out at the stars that he worshiped, and for all appearances seemed to be ignoring them all.

"Well, despite your pathetic attempts at serving as guardian-" if Yggdrasil expected Kratos to rise to that skimpy insult with anger he was disappointed. "-it seems as if Yuan is actually proving his worth."

Kratos did not bother to turn or reply. They were all beyond his notice at the moment. Only Yuan saw the hands clench then relax, a sign that Kratos was going through several mental exercises so not to lose his temper.

"He knows the whereabouts of the other Chosen of Tethe'alla. So despite your failure we won't be slowed a bit, this time Martel will come back and..."

X

Rene frowned; her small bow like lips curled down, her emerald eyes glittered in intense concentration. Yuan winced as the animal tooth comb found that one snag in his hair he'd been fighting with for about half an hour.

"Well, I found it." She informed him. "I'm sorry did that hurt?"

"I've suffered worse." Yuan managed to get his lips to curl. Having been able to sense the presence of the snag, unable to feel it out with his fingers and unknot it, he had decided to tackle the Chosen's boredom and his problem in one pass. Humming a song he'd never heard before the girl set aside the brush and burrowed her small little hands into his thick aqua hued mane. "There we go, no more knot! How did you, an angel, never learn to comb your own hair?"

Even as she spoke she set the brush through his hair, its path was now unmarred with tangles so the brushing was actually rather soothing. She paused, realizing that he was falling asleep –at least that's how it seemed to her he was actually remembering when Martel would do this for him and missing her once again- and put the comb down. Obviously she wanted some sort of response.

"I can comb it." Yuan said with great dignity. "I can't feel the knots however so I have to rip the brush through."

"Momma used to say that ripping a brush through your hair is bad, that it hurts and it makes your hair all poofy when you sleep at night."

Yuan decided not to tell her that that wasn't a problem for him, he remained quiet and the Chosen picked up the comb and went back to grooming him.

"Can I braid it, pleeeease Mr. Ang- er Yuan?"

Yuan winced, remained quiet and she scooted across the grotto so that she was in front of him. Rene's green eyes widened and her lower lip trembled as she saw the refusal in his eyes.

"No, absolutely not!" Yuan slid ice into his tone. "You may not braid my…"

"Pleeeaseeee!"

"No!"

"Preeeetty Pleeeaseee!"

"I said…"

"With a cheery on top?"

"No, and that's the most illogical thing I've heard from you yet. How would a cheery influence me? And it's not as if you can't eat a promise!"

"Dad said you could eat a date, he used to like them."

"However did he meet your mother?" Yuan growled, closing his eyes so he could blot out those pleading green eyes that were so much like Martel's.

X

He opened them again, Yggdrasil was still ranting about Martel, bringing Martel back, that Yuan's Chosen could do that and…

Kratos was staring at him, for one second both Seraph shared one thought that was a mix of annoyance and exasperation.

_Two thousand years and he still makes long pointless speeches_.

Kratos leaned back in his chair, seemed to take pleasure in the still pressure of the earthen seat, and went back to staring at the stars that served as sky for Derris Kharlan.

Crimes bored them, murder and manipulation replaced a normal fare of food and water, how had they become like this? The answer came to time, time and loss, the death of one woman who held them all together, who had soothed their inner turmoil and gave them all a cause. When she was gone so too went cause and calm and now all they had left was this bizarre existence and goal that seemed to make no sense these days.

_We truly are the damned-_ Kratos voice murmured into Yuan's mind. -_trapped in this Hell of our own making we'll be like that, it's just a matter of time._

Yuan stirred a little, his black cape fluttering around him with the barest of sighs. His exotically bound hair slithered against the fabric like a misplaced tail on the back of his head.

_What in Origin's name possessed you to braid your hair? _Kratos' tone had a hint of a chuckle to it.

Yuan ignored the question, stared blankly ahead.

_As you will_. Kratos' mind withdrew from his own and Yuan mentally sighed with relief. Yggdrasil could sometimes overhear their conversations and the cause as to the state of his hair was something Yuan did not want the Lord of Heaven to know of.

X

"Well… what do ya think?"

"Umm.." Yuan stared at his reflection for a long moment. "Very… feminine?"

Rene giggled, pulled out the small desert rose she'd woven through his locks.

"Momma used to say that men don't like flowers…. How does it look now?"

"Much better." Yuan's lips curled, and he wished for one moment that he had met the girl's mother; she might have been interesting to talk to. Certainly her child was keeping him entertained. He actually looked forward to the long spans he slipped away from Cruxis to spend with her.

"You think the other angels will like it?"

Yuan frowned, looked down at her and she cringed back from his gaze as if in fear of him.

"I don't know Rene. I don't think most of them would actually care. A lot of them really don't care about anything save following orders." Yuan took pains to gentle his tone and gaze, he could not stand to see her fear. "If any of them like it I'll tell you about it when I get back."

That made her smile, and when she smiled he could remember Martel's smile. That alone was worth all the pain of cleaning up after the child, and cooking for her, and pretending to be mortal.

X

He would never see that smile; never see hints of Martel in her eyes ever again if he failed in this.

"Well?" Yggdrasil hissed. The second's long pause was enough to reveal Yuan's tension.

"My lord, you ordered me to see to her death since she was not compatib-"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop, not that he could feel it if it were a physical phenomenon, but there was a heavy tension that Yuan could only ascribe to his long lost sense of differentiating between the various levels of heat.

And it did not come from Mithos, from the corner of his eye Yuan saw Kratos pale then his black eyes seemed to ignite with rage.

"My lord, you have assigned me to tend to the rather unsavory side of this organization." Kratos rumbled. "It was our agreement…"

"Which you violated by failing at your task." Yggdrasil snapped. "You will remain silent Lord Aurion until I give you leave to speak."

"You _promised_-" Yggdrasil stood, made a sharp gesture and Kratos' protest died off and became a rasping cough.

"Remember _mentor_, I made you and I have full power over your state. As a mere human you are not attuned nor can you manipulate the mana that has initiated your change. I can unbalance it, easily, and I will if that guarantees your silence."

Kratos only made choked noise; his face was a mask of rage and utter helplessness.

"How did she die, at least-" Yggdrasil threw himself into his chair, smoothing down his fanned out wings with a hand. "-offer me some entertainment by enlightening me on how the human brat died. And you may not leave _Derris fa Sith_, not until I state otherwise."

Kratos glared daggers at his _lord_ then with ill grace sat down.

"She wasn't human _Sire_…" Yuan felt his shriveled stomach writhe in disgust at the arrogant feline like grace Yggdrasil was showing. How far they had fallen, how high their '_student_' had raised on those wings he so adored. "She was a half elf."

"Really?" Yggdrasil's green eyes flickered with some secret emotion. "That's a shame."

There was no remorse, no shame, only boredom.

"I slipped into her house, deepened her slumber then set the house on fire."

Kratos made a choked noise then composed himself with some effort.

"You set the house on fire?" Yggdrasil didn't even sound aghast, the tone was ice cold and utterly indifferent, and it was that response that spurred Yuan to new levels of loathing for his _lord_.

"Yes, sire." Yuan bowed so to have time to school his expression to bland neutrality. Mithos' lips curled into a mocking smile, he saw Yuan's ploy, saw Kratos who was writhing in mute outrage.

"While I disagree with your methods as they were perhaps overly destructive it was a merciful end to the inferior being..."

There was a scrap of chair against tile floor, Kratos stood, his pale blue cape rustled about him as he stormed to the door.

"Kratos I did not give you permission to leave. You aren't going anywhere till I say otherwise."

Kratos only grabbed at the door handle and Mithos sighed.

"Origin, keep Kratos from leaving this room."

There was a flash of violet streaked light and between one moment and another Kratos was frozen in place as time around him ceased to move.

"When you start time up again Origin, first force Kratos to sheath his wings, make him interlock the limbs without drawing them. Then when they are tangled beyond any means of his body to naturally eject them _make_ him draw them. When he's done with that he may leave this room. Oh… and provide him with a knife, so that he can help the process along of course."

A knife materialized and clattered against the tile floor right in Kratos' easy reach. As the sound rang out time began again. Kratos sank to his knees, unable to scream he managed only a horse whisper. Yggdrasil coolly stepped over the writhing Seraph he had made so long ago, he paused in the hall.

"Don't ever defy my will by letting a human you are escorting poison herself. You knew she ate that nightshade, you heard and saw it, and you remember it. You _chose_ to ignore the Chosen's actions out of some sort of backwards compassion and empathy. Remember while your punishment goes on that this was because of emotion that you acted on that you suffer. Consider purging yourself of such filth as I've instructed you to do before old friend." Yggdrasil paused, turned to Yuan. "Stay in this room if you wish Brother, you might find it beneficial to watch so that the next time that spark of compassion in you makes you hesitate to do a task for me you'll know what the punishment will be."

X

Small hands grabbed his wrist, turned his hands over and stared at the crimson stains that ran from the tips of his gloved fingers to his wrist. He was shocked, numb, suffering from the horror of that afternoon, so he allowed her to drag him to a small boulder he'd put in the cave for her to sit on. It wasn't much of a chair, but it had served her well for a few days. His long legs and adult limbs seemed to tangle themselves as they instinctually tried and failed to find some repose on the "chair". He said nothing, only stared blankly at her no matter how frantic her questions, no matter how panicked her tone. Finally she ran off, where she went he didn't know. All he could see was the blood; all he could hear were those animal screams. Sometime during the torture Kratos had found a fragment of his voice, his high pitched screeches had not been loud but the fact he'd been able _to_ scream… Gods above, Yuan shuddered, rocked back and forth while oblivious of the fact he was doing so.

"_sceearrr siith… sceearrr siith…"_

He couldn't kill Kratos, despite the pleas, the agony. Yuan could not kill Kratos, only Mithos could.

"YUAN! Wake UP!"

Pressure, not hot, not cold, forever moving… He blinked, lifted his head, startled to feel parts of his scalp hurting. Small hands had tugged on his hair, the girl had screamed in his ear. At last in wild desperation Rene had gathered the small bowlful of water and thrown it in his face. Sputtering, Yuan's mind came back to the present. Yet all he could smell was blood, blood and sand. Groaning he shuddered, fell off of the stone and crawled away so that he wasn't facing her. His stomach rejected him, it writhed and he spasmed in response. Desperate, trying to purge both body and mind of all traces of what he had seen, he was faintly aware of small hands patting him on the back.

"Don't… don't leave me along too… please don't!" Rene sobbed, desperately holding onto him now. She ignored his sickness, or rather his attempts at sickness. "Don't leave me alone… don't…"

Her tears brought him back. He groaned and licked his lips. Bitter, there was a bitter taste in his mouth. Ironic -he mused while he shakily sat up- that the first taste in two millennia and it had to be of blood and salt. It must be his imagination, the taste, because he couldn't taste, as a Seraph he could not taste, could not feel. The girl cried, held onto him as if he were going to disappear if she ever let go.

"It's… going to be… alright…" He heard himself croak. "They... won't hurt... you…"

Somehow he was sitting; somehow she was at his knees, her small arms wound around his waist. Her face pressed against his stomach. He moved to tousle her hair, but paused seeing all the blood on his gloves. He could not touch anyone with his blood stained gloves, but he could not touch anyone without them. Physical contact was painful to him and sheer agony to Kratos, they weren't meant to touch or be touched, the Seraphim were beyond any mortal expression.

Bile rose in his throat, he swallowed it down, then with shaking hands fumbled at the tips of the black fabric which sheathed his fingers. One tug to loosen, another with a little bit of sawing and the fabric was almost gone, and then with one last tug and he stared at his own ghost pale fingers. Shuddering he wrapped his digits around the hard, course, blood seeped fabric and with one tug ripped it off. Letting them fall he weakly slung one arm around the child and wove the fingers of his free hand in her spring green locks.

He curled about her, draped his cape over her to offer some warmth. His head dipped down he rested his chin on her head, his blue hair screened her face from the world so it could not see her tears. Murmuring soft words in a tongue older then the two worlds he sought to sooth, to comfort. His words, his chant, became a lullaby.

"I'm not going anywhere…" He rocked the child slowly as she cried. "I promise, so long as it's in my power I'll be here for you, they won't have you, and you won't be alone."

"


	5. Clearing Vision

Chapter 8

Defiance birth of the Renegades

Clearing vision

"_Sometimes it is after brutality, in a span of gentle peace, that the greatest understanding dawns on us. We learn that despite having suffered, or perhaps because we have suffered, we are stronger for it."_

_Martel Yggdrasil_

(A/N Yuan's cape explained, and some playfulness on Rene's part. The customary "X" that break up scenes have been replaced by a view into Yuan's mind delivered in italics. I don't think I'll use this format again since it seems sloppy and breaks up clarity that's why I have the note actually… so it doesn't confuse anyone)

After hearing a string of complaints about living in a cave and having nothing to do he surrendered to the pleas and those soft green eyes. They were going shopping.

Taking a deep breath he ordered himself to stop worrying, after all what could possible go wrong?

_This is a mistake._

Rene squealed and ran ahead after spotting Triet. Wreathed in the fading moonlight and starlight of pre-dawn the mess of tents, huts, and adobe buildings looked like too much like a bandit's camp for his taste. He gripped his swallow's hilt, took comfort in the large steel blades that jutted out from both ends of the hilt. Hopefully -how he hated that word- the size of his weapon would intimidate any would be thief from bothering them.

"Come on Yuan, let's go!"

"M- Rene, slow down! It might be dangerous!"

She didn't listen, or perhaps she did, she stayed ahead but did not stay more then a few feet out of his grasp. While they went down the final slope he tried not to think to fondly of using a leash, or how much comfort having her right by his side would bring him.

She, however, was not comfortable being that close to him. She liked to wander. So he let her do so and silently fretted. All he could do was keep a sharp eye over her wanderings. While they walked he swore that the first snake or wolf that came up to them he'd dispatch the damned thing then hold her hand for the rest of the outing despite her protests.

_This is a huge mistake_

Rene squealed, let go of his hand and ran down the street. Her hands disappeared into the fur of a startled tan long haired cat. A few seconds later the cat purred happily and was following them around like a duckling when Rene actually listened to his order to "get back here _now_". It even mewed at them when they walked.

"Meow!" Rene called to the cat.

"Don't encourage it." Yuan snapped, trying not to imagine his hands around that feline's throat as it happily meowed back.

"See, he knows his name!" Rene chirped.

"You… no… we do _not_ have the means to take care of a pet. Make it go away Rene, now."

"But…" Her emerald green eyes widened and her lower lip trembled.

Yuan winced, Martel had looked so much like the girl now when they were children and… it would be like saying no to Martel. He'd never said no to Martel before, had revered and worshiped the ground she had walked upon. He then thought of having a small box, a small shovel, and the wonderful joys of scoping out cat feces and urine at least four times a day for a decade or more.

His eyes hardened and Rene winced ever so slightly.

"No."

"But…"

"No, and that's final!"

"Yuaaaan, pleeeaseeee!"

"Absolutely not!"

Rene sniffled and Yuan felt his resolve beginning to wane.

The cat nicely solved matters for them. With a soft "murr" it wiggled its hind portion, the tip of its tail thrashed. Yuan turned, his shoulder blades itching in warning, and the cat charged. He gracefully side stepped the first wild attack; the creature dug its paws in the sand and charged him yet again.

Growling Yuan lifted his hand, an orb of crackling power appeared around his fist.

"Yuan, no!" Rene squeaked.

Damn it… he canceled the power and managed another side step.

"Merow!"

Launching itself from the ground the ball of claws and fur reached for -and missed by mere centimeters- his hair.

"No, bad cat!"

Looking like a fool Yuan managed another graceful dodge, and the people of Triet watched on with humored smiles on their faces.

_I have no more words to express how horrible an idea this is!_

"Does it look nice?"

"Passable." Yuan grunted, watching as the girl as she turned and showed off another set of short sleeve tunic and pants combination. Honestly, he knew the fabric was different, and the colors varied, and that what the fabric was and how the color matched the type was important to women, but did it warrant spending an hour here?

"You've said that all the other times and you haven't told me what it means."

"Very nice." Yuan snapped. He drummed the fingers of one hand against his other arm, a frown on his face as the store's owner peaked around yet again to snigger at the state of the seraph's cape. For such a small being that damned cat was very destructive. It had clawed at his cape till the end of it till it looked like a mess of ribbons. He had liked his cape, Martel had given it to him and while the original garment had rotted away millennia ago he had styled all his new capes after it. A rich glossy black with a streak of blue around the edges for trim, the blue supposedly matched his eyes before his transformation. He sighed, a sound that she mimed. In response to her glum echo he cocked his head to the side. His braided hair whispered along his shoulder and she lowered her eyes when he looked upon her.

"I'm sorry Yuan, I didn't think Meow would hurt you."

Despite the stinging around his face that marked the location of a mess of small cuts the Seraph smiled.

"It's alright Rene. It was an accident and accidents happen."

The girl frowned. "I'm gunna go get something."

"Go right ahead and call out if there are any more rabid cat-nipped felines in the area."

She giggled, and his smile widened a little in response to her returning humor.

"Excuse me, miss!" Rene called to one of the women in the store. "Could you help me with something please?"

Yuan raised an eyebrow; after all he was right here and more then capable of helping her. Rene giggled, her green eyes sparkled the way only those living could.

"Is this something I shouldn't see?" He muttered.

"Ye_s_, you're a _boy_ and…¨

He raised a hand to silence her. "Enough, spare me the details of "girl things" I want nothing to do with them."

"_H'nielie Yuan_!" Rene giggled.

Yuan decided that no one save Rene could get away with calling him silly and live to talk about it. Frowning he put a finger to his lips and Rene blushed.

"Sorry, I won't talk like that again when we're here with the hu- er in town."

"Good girl, I'll wait for you by the entrance." He gave the woman who was coming in their direction to help a look that promised death if Rene did not come back unharmed. "By the way, you need to conjugate the word; "to be silly Yuan" doesn't quite sound right, especially without the command emphasis, now does it?"

"Can we practice when we get home?"

"Yes," Yuan smiled. "We may practice when we get home, if you are up to it."

He went to the main entrance, ignored the shop keeper's curious stare when the man realized that Rene was not with him. Ignoring the human's around him he stared at the sky. Perhaps they wouldn't walk home; after all he didn't want Rene to be so tired that she would sleep through his lessons again. The itching around his back intensified and he frowned, decided to watch the swirling mess of humanity about him.

Disgusting, filth ridden, diseased, and vile, those words nicely summed up humanity. With their gross lack of wisdom, with their short frantic lives, they were little more then gnats. They build kingdoms on the backs of their dead kinsmen, made everything of nothing. Tangled by their own contradictions the whole race hovered on the edge of madness and self destruction. He had been saying that for years, believing it for years, as had Mithos. True to their half-elven blood and ethics he and Mithos had turned from humanity, only striving to aide their suffering kinsmen while Kratos strived to save everyone.

As Yuan looked upon the humans around him the old words thrummed in his head like a second heartbeat, perhaps it was the heartbeat of his soul…

Yet as he looked upon those around him and his keen eyes snapped onto the children, while unclean and dusty they certainly couldn't be evil so young...

Thinking of dust, Rene would defiantly be due for another bath after they returned home. His lips quirked at that thought. Who would have known the angelic transformation would instantly drive the members of Cruxis to be cleanliness fanatics?

But then on the other hand even a hair is out of place blazed into their minds like a moral offense as they were shackled with minds that would never forget and eyes that never closed. With keen senses and never resting minds a wrinkle of fabric or the thinnest layer of dust was like a scream that never ended until it was handled.

Shouldn't than humanity, life itself, be like that? Shouldn't the flaws of those around them be a gnawing imperfection that demanded absolute attention in mending, shouldn't Cruxis be striving to fix that as avidly as they tended to there own affairs?

And what tending was that? Yuan was forced to ask himself in all honesty. Their leader had casually watched as Kratos had writhed on the floor screaming in agony. Yggdrasil had been the damned cause of it and…

"Surprise!"

He jolted back to the here and now, the tortured screams faded into the darker corners of his mind and he was confronted with a smiling girl that had Martel's hair and eyes. She proudly held up something long... black… He reached out with a hand and fumbled with the fabric that was neither soft nor course to his hands. Seeing his confusion -and understanding- Rene mouthed 'soft' and he felt a wave of gratitude to the girl. Yuan lifted the glossy substance to his cheek and rubbed, smiling in pleased shock the Seraph turned the cape over in his hands then slung it around his shoulders.

Rene giggled as the silted cape that had looked and felt like it was a whole solid block of fabric nearly split in half due to the motion and tangled against his belt, weapon, and leg.

"You don't wear it like that silly…"

"I've learned that I think," Yuan growled.

"For an ang… er… adult you aren't very smart sometimes."

Yuan rose an eyebrow and Rene smiled even through she knew for that comment he'd probably grill her in Angelic and history until she apologized.

"There are strings in the back, you put the collar around your neck, clip it, then tie the strings up in the back so that you don't get all tangled." Rene thoughtfully informed him now that he was so far tangled that he'd need her help getting free.

"_Thank you,_ Rene." Yuan laced his tone with enough poison tipped irony that anyone else would have been scared shitless.

"You're welcome." She only smiled at him, and then dashed off a ways to go giggle where she assumed he couldn't hear her.

Perhaps -he mused as he pulled on the cape and felt some of the strings tighten alarmingly around his throat- children were evil after all…

"You are in trouble when we get home young lady…" He snarled.

Rene's laughter only got louder.


	6. someday

Chapter 6

Defiance, Birth of the Renegades

"_I gave up life for this Hell. My hands might as well be ice; my soul might as well be dead. I deal death yet give nothing else save death. I am destruction incarnate, but then we all are now… aren't we?" _

Kratos Aurion

Someday…

"Follow this…" Rene smiled, held his bare hands in one of her own and guided him over the strings. "See… it feels funny, what's it tell you now? Is it a lumpy knot, a squiggle, or just normal?"

Yuan chuckled, held his peace until he was done. Rene giggled as his unbound hair brushed against her when he shifted a bit to better feel the old boot lace. Yuan and Rene were sitting less then an inch apart from each other a string rested in the girls hands even as his own slid over that string. Normally the boot lace was a mess of knots and loops, and his finger, this time it seemed different. His digits ghosted over the slip, trying to identify each motion of the string.

At first she had given him hints, she had told him if what he was feeling, then would only tell him if he was right or wrong, now she said very little. Well save to giggle when his hair whipped into her face.

That happened frequently for some reason, his hair falling into the girl's face, and only Martel would know why…

Well truthfully he knew ever so slightly tilting his head caused it to happen, not that she needed to know that.

"Alright Rene, you're holding it taunt. I'm guessing you tied it to your thumb and last finger, after that it spills down across your palm. From your thumb to last finger, in the taunt portion, there is one knot in the center of the span. Across your palm the string loops multiple times, and down to your wrist there are two knots right by each other. So am I correct?"

"Yep," Rene smiled, and while he could not see it since his eyes were closed he could almost hear it in her tone. "You did really good Yuan! I bet you could even comb your hair now."

"Perhaps…" Yuan mock frowned. "But I think braiding would be far too advanced for me as of now.

"Braiding is kinda of tricky, even when you learn it normally." Rene agreed, and then went off to the small chest he'd bought for her in Triet, to fish out a comb and white ribbon.

At least it better be white…

They had had an extensive chat about the colors pink, purple, and blue being put in his hair. It had begun when he'd caught Rene slipping up behind him with a mess of bright gaudy pink ribbons and asked him to sit.

He had said no, she had said yes.

He stubbornly clung to his masculine image and Rene had let it go after an hour's long stand off… she came out of it a little disheartened by the idea that she couldn't get him to do everything that she liked but more or less fine.

When she'd done the same thing with the pale purple ribbons and they had come to the same conclusion Yuan had decided to give in with the blue ribbons.

That had ended with them both spending hours looking through his mane of hair for the one ribbon that got away. He could feel the blasted thing, but not where it was. It was such a great nuisance that it had nearly driven him crazy. Rene had sworn up and down never to use blue on his hair again, they'd gone through the mess or ribbons she had bought and decided that the white were the only ones that would go anywhere near his head.

Well rather he had decided and dictated that she could only use white, he couldn't recall hearing her agree to his announcement.

"If it's not white Rene-" He murmured, not opening his eyes at the girl's giggle. "- then put it back."

Huffing, she stomped off and Yuan allowed a thin smile to curl his lips.

"You should know little one, you can not trick me."

"Stupid Angel senses…" Rene huffed.

"I won't argue with that." Yuan opened his eyes and was confronted with the glaring light of Triet's noon sun leaking into the somewhat larger cave even farther away from Triet then there last one had been. "Although they can be useful sometimes, as all bad things are useful, I imagine."

Rene didn't respond, merely slipped behind him and put the comb to the back of his head. He absently leaned into the strokes, his eyes distant as he worried and wondered at his -no there- newest problem that lay before them. As she worked he rolled the parchment in his hands, his mind running in frantic circles.

"What did the bad man from heaven want?" Rene asked, as her small hands took a grip on the three "tails" that she's made from his hair.

"He delivered an ultimatum, willingly join him in Derris Kharlan or be dragged there. He muttered some crap about contamination, though with you about, I wonder how fallacious that concern might be."

"Yuan, be nice!" She tugged his hair and Yuan chuckled, the attack hardly hurt, but then Rene probably would have been concerned if she had hurt him.

It was strange, after so long, that someone could actually care if he got hurt. Yggdrasil hardly cared, and Kratos… well the man couldn't care for anything he was _that_ emotionally distant.

"I don't want you to go to heaven." Rene whispered. She stopped her weaving of his hair and leaned against his back and tried to wrap her arms around him. "I don't want the angels to take you away."

"They won't-" Despite his anger, perhaps born from his need to protect, he interwove his fingers with her small ones. "-I won't let them."

"You won't leave me alone?"

"I'll be gone a day at most, then I'll be back."

"Alright-" She trusted him to have some plan, to have an answer, even when he didn't have an inkling of one. "-try not to crash into the ground when you land, please. It was really scary when you did that, I thought it was a bear or something…"

Yuan felt a pressure gather under his cheeks, and he knew that once long ago he would have felt as if his face was aflame.

"I did not blotch that landing!"

Rene giggled, teased him for making a sand angel, and Yuan grumbled a bit at that.

He, however, did not leave. So she unwound her arms from his waist and gently took his hair up again and went back to her braiding. Yuan closed his eyes, tried to not think for once. He focused on breathing, on listening to Rene's heartbeat. Just as his mind was going to drift into a tranquil state not too dissimilar to meditation, a multitude of ideas -being the wonderful, helpful, things they were- decided to pop out into his mind and snap him out of his trance. He jerked so suddenly that Rene apologized for tying his hair up too tight, he muttered some sort of response, and considered the first and fore-most of his ideas.

"Just tie my hair into a raised tail." Yuan murmured. His eyes focused on the light of the noon sun. And instead of trying to look through that light he saw. He saw the world by it, looked beyond the _askan-magni_ before him, and he smiled. "Then we need to go outside for a little bit."

"It's hot out Yuan." Rene protested.

"It's a desert Rene, it's always hot, and I'm afraid we are both going to have to get used to that."

"We are…" Rene frowned.

Yuan nodded. "Yes, we are."

She asked him no more questions, he said nothing. Yuan remained quiet while Rene worked on his hair, his mind however was scheming, planning, and finally by the light and the dark he saw the first visages of hope for them both. To the face of hope, an entity almost forgotten after millennia of despair, he smiled.

And perhaps hope smiled back at him, for he felt his heart lighten.

His smile left him quickly as he reached up a hand to feel the girl's handiwork.

"Rene, did you just tie the ribbon into a bow?"

An evil giggle was answer enough for him, he stood. Rene let out a very mouse-like squeak as she made a bolt for the world beyond there cave.

X

"Yuaaaan… I really wasn't going to…. I would have told you before you went to…." Rene lowered her head as a breeze kicked up and set sand and made his horse tail and the bow to flapping behind him. It wasn't to avoid the dust she bowed her head, rather to avoid looking at him and laughing more then she was.

He grunted, after scolding her -and after delivering a sharp rap between the eyes to tell her to not to do this ever again- he decided that the punishment had gone far enough. He untied the ribbon and let the pink frilly length of fabric be picked up and whisked away by the winds. Since they were outside he decided to show her his plans as well as explain.

"Come along Rene, we have work to do."

She sobered up at his no nonsense tone, and fell in step behind him. Together they picked there way down the mountain that he had dictate to be there home. He steadied her when she seamed ready to fall, and she was so scared after the near misstep that she hung onto his cloak with a death grip. He smiled indulgently, offered his ungloved hand, and she took it in her own.

And though mortal touch was supposed to cause him pain he had somehow become beyond that petty restriction. It was strange, bizarre, and somewhat uncomfortable, but no longer was the touch of another a screaming agony as it once had been.

"Tell me, what do half-elves in Tethe'alla do?"

Rene frowned in thought, and then her expression brightened as the answer came to her. "Well they go to this magical floating city over the ocean if they become powerful spell casters. Otherwise they…" She grew sad and her voice shrank down to a mere whisper in shame. "Well sometimes they join the Desians."

"And those that don't join the Desians or go to this city-" Yuan pressed "-what happens to them?"

"I don't know."

"I honestly doubt there are enough survivors for anyone to know exactly what they do." Yuan sighed. "If you are a human every Desian is a half elf so therefore every half elf must be a Desian. The Martel church teaches that, ever human probably hears it from there first day to there last. After all… it's an easy answer, and humans adore simple answers. It allows them to go through life without thinking."

Rene frowned at that, but said nothing.

"Now then, _that_ is a snag I didn't see coming. You wouldn't happen to want to grow a pair of wings to make this easy would you?"

"No!" Rene squeaked, remembering Yuan's stories about how much getting wings hurt.

Yuan's lips curled on one side, and he favored her with a look that told her he was just teasing.

Yuan looked at the massive boulders that blocked their view of the desert. The off-white, sun bleached, stone was well over twice his size. He easily scrambled up, his hands finding handholds in the jagged cracks. Unfazed by the heat he got a good ways up then turned to offer the child a hand. She hesitantly took his hand and he pulled her up. Confident that she was secure he went up the rest of the way, and then turned. Again Rene took Yuan's offered hand, and from the smooth top of the stone stared at all of Triet. It was gold, a whole world cast of pure molten gold. The very edges of the desert flickered and danced with waves of heat. The golden hue, marred with rocks that looked to be stained red, and the yellow glaring sunlight, made the edges look as if they were aflame.

"Look down there." Yuan pointed and Rene looked away from the fire and onto the smooth sand area that lapped at the base of their mountain and seemed to go on forever until "forever" ended and became a wall of mountains.

"Is the sea past there Yuan?"

"Yes, but don't think of the sea for a moment, what do you see right there?"

Rene frowned in concentration.

"Well it's sandy… and desert, and there are some green things-"

"-Cacti." Yuan corrected absently.

"Some green _cacti_-" Rene always used Yuan's corrections as soon as she could, because that was one of the ways he showed he cared for her. He wasn't like her family in that way. He wouldn't say he cared for her while he took care of her. But he brought her food, and water, and took care of her, and was nice despite being boring sometimes. "-and some red rocks. But that's it really."

"It's flat." Yuan pointed out, and he was right, it was really flat even far away from the mountains, it only got bumpy and really rocky the closer you went in the Triet direction.

"It's flat." Rene agreed, not quite understanding the strange sound in Yuan's voice.

"Very flat, and I wager under that sand is a great deal of granite, much like these rocks…" Yuan tapped the rock they were on. "So the ground would be secure, very secure."

Rene stared up at Yuan, an idea coming to her that didn't make much sense.

"There aren't any big trees though."

He blinked, looked at her in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well…" Rene put her hands on her hips and wondered it Yuan wasn't having one of his angel moments, where he tried to be smart and silly at the same time. "You can't have a house without a big tree, what's going to keep it safe?"

"If the ground's secure you don't need to worry about anything. And I'd rather live in a tent rather then cuddle up with a giant fire hazard."

"But there's no wood! You can't have a house without woods or trees, it's just not right!" Rene protested.

Yuan only looked at her then began to laugh.

"I'm not being funny!" Rene flared, stomping her foot in anger and nearly burning it on the rock because of that.

"It's not you…" Yuan managed. "Oh sweet gods it's not you I'm laughing at… Rene, child, you can make a house out of anything in the world. Some people use stone, some use wood, and some actually use ice and animal furs. Think, did you see one house made of wood in Triet?"

Rene shook her head.

"They use stone, adobe, and make boxes of earth. That or tents."

Rene frowned. "I don't wanna live in a box, Yuan."

"You won't." The Seraph assured the child. "I believe I will tell Yggdrasil that Triet needs some supervision then offer to take the task up myself."

"Super-viss-en?"

"Supervision: To watch over, keep an eye on." Yuan's eyes were locked on the flat span of ground. "That's what the Ranches are for Rene, we keep a watch on every village, every birth, and when someone is born who looks like… who is like someone that the Lord of Heaven wants... they become a Chosen. It is all the Ranches do Rene, they hurt people to scare off humans then they sit and watch and wait."

"N… no they don't…" Rene gulped, her vision smarting as tears gathered in her eyes. "I… If… they did then why'd they take Mom and Dad away! My… pa…parents are half elves, why would the Desian's hurt them!"

"I don't know, perhaps they hid a human that had gotten away or…"

"They didn't!" Rene screamed. "They didn't break any stupid rule, or hurt anyone, so why did the Desian's take them away!"

"I don't know…." Yuan whispered after a long silence.

"Ma…maybe humans aren't the only ones who like simple answers too." Rene croaked, and Yuan winced.

"Maybe not…" Yuan muttered. "Rene… I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking…"

"I want to go home." Rene whispered quietly. "Back to Ozette."

"I can't do that. You can't go back." Yuan sighed; he knelt by her and draped an arm over her shoulders. "Rene, you can't go home because… because the Desians would find you, and hurt you like they hurt everyone else. And... I can't let that happen."

"I want to go home…" Rene sobbed.

"I know…" Yuan stroked her hair. "I wish I could take you home, but I can't… I don't dare. I'm sorry."

Rene clung to him tighter and cried some more.

"There… are times…" Yuan whispered in a thick voice into that small pointed ear. "That I wish I could go home too. But we can't go home, not yet Rene, not until it is safe."

"Will it be safe Yuan?"

"Someday-" Yuan muttered. "Someday…"


	7. First Payment, Upfront

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

First Payment, upfront

Chapter eight

"_When we see our mistakes we correct them. It's that simple, but sometimes the most simple things take the most courage to do. Sometimes correcting a mistake… can cost a life, can cost honor, can cost dignity, but sometimes to correct an error we must pay with everything we have. Therefore go forward in our lives knowing that we've lost everything due to our own folly._

_How many people have that courage, to do so?_

_Not many, not many at all."_

Anna Aurion

Rene frowned, that gesture had been the unhinging of many plans so far and Yuan tensed despite himself.

"Steel?"

"It's strong, easy to find, and perfect for defense."

"It's hot." The girl protested.

"Deserts are always…"

"No, the steel gets hot. That's why they use it for _ovens_ in Tethe'alla."

Yuan frowned, and then brightened as an idea came to him. "Another defense benefit? Perhaps if I make devices to gather the heat I could incorporate some sort of long range fire canon to the outer walls…"

"If I sit on metal, in a desert, I'm going to cook." Rene whined, obviously not seeing any of the benefits of having long range weapons on a fortress.

"You wont sit on it..." Yuan sighed, trying to keep some level of good humor. "Steel will sheath the walls, perhaps the floors…"

"My feet get cooked enough on rocks outside; inside with steel walls and steel floors I'd melt!"

"It does not get that hot." Yuan protested, a sliver of anger creeping into his tone.

They both had good reason to be a little testy with each other. Every suggestion, every idea he had presented she'd neatly clipped its wings and butchered it. He had forgotten and lost so much after his transformation, and she a living being and a child to boot continuously pointed that out every time he "forgot" something "simple" in his planning. As for her end of being testy, homesickness, heat, and having to deal with what she probably dubbed as "stupidity" on a regular basis was wearing even her chirpy demeanor down to nothing.

He had to wonder if that not so innocent mind was fantasizing about sticking daggers in him for the sake of a little peace and quiet. He hated to admit it but the thought drifted into his mind every once in a while as he felt his temper starting to run out.

But then he was a veteran of wars, a warrior, and his thought seemed almost seeped in blood. Certainly a dark primal aspect of him was closer to the surface with him then it was with her. That life, even two thousand years behind him, made him think solely of defense and obsessive about purging weakness. But sometimes weakness was part of living, as he learned after he showed Rene yet another plan for the first floor.

"Where's the… you know?"

"The what?" Yuan cocked his head to the side, confused that she was blushing. He hadn't forgotten the kitchens or the private rooms for the soldiers and staff, or a place to store cleaning and medical supplies, or even the hospital, what could he be missing _now_.

"The…" She leaned forward and he bent his head down and listened.

Yuan blushed and then coughed… so he was missing _that _wasn't he?

"Perhaps _that_ could go on the second floor?"

I wouldn't wanna have to cast a spell or run up stairs if I had to _go_." Rene blushed.

Yuan sighed, picked up the parchment and then with a muttered word ignited it.

"Worthless anyways, I have to figure out some sort of plumbing system now."

"Baths?" Rene squeaked, becoming the picture of female happiness.

Yuan raised an eyebrow at the girl's tone. No child at the age of twelve should be thrilled to take a bath. They shouldn't mind a bit of dirt and scuffle. It seemed as if his cleanliness fanaticism was rubbing off.

"Give me about half an hour to think in silence Rene…"

"I'll try to take a nap." The girl offered, and Yuan nodded his agreement with the question masked as a statement.

X

"It's a booox…" Rene moaned. "Yuan, you said we weren't going to live in a box!"

"It' just the main structure, it will have a dome, and the sides will be sheathed in a convex blue steel wall and the sides of the wall will be imbedded with shards of blue and aqua quartz." Yuan traced the ghostly the lines that signified where the wall would go in some hope that Rene could see it. "That will deal with the heat issue, so despite it being made of steel it will not be an oven." Yuan smiled smugly, happy –and finding out that he was happy over this and that he was capable to even feel happiness made it a double shock- that he'd addressed all her concerns with such a simple solution.

"Alright…" Rene seemed to hesitate. "Where to do we get all this quartz?"

Yuan scowled at Rene, not exactly enjoying having his plan turned to little more then dust at a little girl's casual question.

"I have no idea." Yuan frowned at the paper before him, wondering how many times he was going to use his mana to incinerate offensive plans before he got it right. "Kratos has some in storage, but if my calculations are correct… we'd need about three tons of each."

"Who's Kratos?" Rene looked up at him and Yuan sighed.

"He's another angel, a bit cold and distant to strangers these days, but still a g-" Yuan recalled Mithos stating that Kratos was little more then Cruxis' tamed killer. Looking at that fact in the face Yuan felt something in his chest wrench painfully; the old Kratos would have never killed no matter who gave the order unless it was the last recourse. The old Kratos though, he was dead, perhaps he had been dead for millennia. "-he is a good acquaintance of mine. I might be able to talk him around to sharing some, but even if he had three tons I doubt he'd give it all to me without asking questions."

Rene nodded, accepted his assessment of Kratos with an indifference of one who is secure they'd never meet the person in question. Then, for no reason he could discern, she smiled.

"What's on your mind imp?" Yuan mock growled, ruffling her hair.

"What about asking the Lord of Heaven?"

"That would be a strain of Cruxis' resources." Yuan pointed out. "A large strain."

"So?" Rene was busy smoothing down her hair. "Maybe he'll think of it like this. If you're making the base for him -even though we really aren't but we kind of are- why not help you make that base. It'll be one last place he has to spend angels on watching because he really trusts you right? Ask him for the stuff and let him do all the building too."

Yuan's lips curled into a smile, a very wide and malicious smile.

"Well-" Yuan grinned, "-why not?"

X

"You need what?" Kratos sputtered, he actually abandoned his pose of cool indifference to stare at his Brother in shock after going over the plans. "Cruxis does not possess all of that, not the steel, not the quartz, you'd bankrupt us!"

"So?"

Kratos frowned, considered it.

"I need you to help me persuade Yggdrasil my friend…" Yuan met the brown haired Seraph's eyes, and was again startled how easy lying came to him now. "Don't do anything rash, I know last time was Hell and I don't want that repeated, just quietly approve or something."

Tugging on the collar of his pale blue cape Kratos fussed with the fabric for a long time smoothing out its wrinkles.

"Yuan-" Kratos' smooth voice was marred only slightly by a troubled note. When Kratos lifted his gaze from his self grooming the Seraph's brown eyes were nearly black with concern. "-why a ranch?"

"I… can't stay here." Yuan turned away from Kratos, went to the window and stared at the stars that made up the sky of Welgaia. "Not any longer. I _have_ to have a reason to stay on one of the worlds, and any reason works for me now. I can't live with the lies anymore Kratos, I can't deal with it any longer."

Kratos nodded. "You have my support then, as far as I dare offer it."

"Once… there wouldn't have been a constraint, you wouldn't have held back." Yuan murmured.

"Once it was just my life and soul on the line." Kratos shifted the hilt of his blade around. "Once I was just a man. My madness -if ever I descend into it as a Seraph- would be catastrophic to everything around me, and I am still human enough in my heart to fear that…"

"You're a coward-" Something in Yuan's soul -something dark and poisonous- shot to the surface. "-who sits back and does nothing."

Kratos' lips curled into mocking smile.

"I won't argue that… Have I ever? But before you go laying any blame on me you might want to look at yourself." Kratos hissed. "My hands might be stained with blood, but that is because there is nothing left for me save death, and I offer it freely to those who ask for it."

"To the Chosen's, who go insane, who suffer from..." Yuan nearly choked on his rage.

"They suffer as we suffer, except for them it ends." Kratos' dark eyes smoldered. "And I _never_ took a life without being asked, without being commanded to offer what I am by those I guarded. I don't leave children to burn in their own homes-" Kratos' lips curled into a sneer of absolute loathing. "-I never sunk that low. _You_-" Kratos took a deep breath and shuddered from the rage that he chained down with cold discipline. "-have no right to judge me, _no one_ _does!_" He hissed the last, his face twisting in rage. "So if this little project of yours keeps you sane, entertained, for a few millennia then I will back you as far as I can, because at least _I_ haven't forgotten what I am, _Brother_."

Yuan shivered with his barely contained anger,

"Our Lord awaits, _Seraph,_ Kratos."

Snapping his teeth together to quell a storm of angry words Kratos nodded.

"Let's just get this over with." Kratos rumbled, striding down the hall with his usual feline silence and grace.

X

"A ranch?" Mithos blinked; for once he wore his childish form. The boy who sported over two thousand years of life looked up, pulled a few strands of golden hair from his crystal hued eyes, and set the kendama he'd been playing with aside with a smiled. "In Triet? That would solve a lot of problems for us! And you really don't mind?"

"Not in the slightest my Lord," Yuan bowed. "I'll of course send you reports on the Cardinals of the other regions; at the very least you'll know my judgment isn't clouded with ambition or greed."

Mithos' smile grew wider and he laughed. It was a shrill high pitched monotonous sound, so utterly false that Yuan felt his gut writhe in disgust.

Kratos' lips quirked in a tolerant smile, perhaps pleased that Mithos was laughing, perhaps pleased over some stray thought. The noise whipped away all mirth from the blue haired seraph, and he bowed to hide his grimace of disgust.

"There are however… some complications." Yuan pulled out the plan from its place on his belt. "But I'm certain that, being as we are, they will be minor set backs."

Mithos scanned over the scroll, nodded, and then drew the eternal sword out of nothing by air.

"You can't be seri-" Kratos protested, and those cold eyes slid over _Derris Fa Sith_ and Death itself lost it's voice before Mithos.

Or rather Death lost his train of thought when mutely threatened with yet another session of torture.

"My lord." Yuan frowned, between him and Rene they'd talked this out and even went so far as to know how to defuse this situation. "Do you think Origin would approve of being used to solve every one of your whims?"

Annoyed Mithos set the flat of the Eternal Sword on his knee and frowned up at his underling.

"It get's it done quick…" Mithos protested.

"It also might be demeaning in Origin's eyes. We really wouldn't want to insult Origin, we could lose Derris Kharlan, our Angelic status, even Martel, if we annoy him enough."

Mithos nodded, let go of the blade. The sword became mist that faded into nothingness in a heartbeat.

"Alright… let me see how much Gald this will cost and I'll free up some of people from the Iselia ranch to do the building."

Yuan nodded, bowed, he had been victorious and therefore could afford to play humble.

"Really Kratos," Mithos' tone was just a touch scolding. "You should act more like Yuan; at least he takes his responsibilities seriously."

Kratos said nothing, and Yuan kept his gaze fixed on the tiles until a door hissed closed telling them that Mithos had left. Lifting his head Yuan looked up into the seething eyes of his oldest friend.

"I would never have thought you could sink this low…" Kratos hissed. "But do enjoy the depths Yuan, and the taste of boot polish, it's all yours."

Yuan remained silent, looked into those black eyes and it was Kratos who looked away first. Yuan only stood and waited. The once mortal man grunted, and then left, taking the door opposite that Yggdrasil had chosen. Alone, Yuan shook his head, went to the window and looked upon the stars.

"When Martel comes back, at least I'll be sane; at least I'll have a clean conscience." Yuan growled.

The stars above only did there slow dance, he stared at them numbly, wondering why he felt so empty. He had saved Rene, with the base as an excuse he could stay in Sylvarant indefinitely and over see her as long as she wanted him to. She was safe, or rather safer then she had been before. So long as he sent a report and occasionally went to these meetings of Cruxis he would be left alone, and alone he could take care of her.

So he wondered at the emptiness, at the hollow feeling in his heart that strained against his courage. Much like a man would feel at a bad tooth he felt at the emptiness and he came to his answer he shuddered almost in pain.

"It's not enough, I haven't done enough…"

Yet what more could he do? What else _was_ there to do? He had saved Rene, he had all but guaranteed that she could live her natural span.

So long as she remained in a cage, away from her home, she was perfectly safe.

She would be safe yet suffer. He might as well have lead her into a cell, and trusting she followed him, not seeing that he did not see until the lock was bolted shut behind them both.

Cursing his own stupidity Yuan gripped a fistful of hair in each hand and rested his head against the window. Above him the lifeless stars gleamed, below him the lifeless angels flew their circuits around this so called heaven.

Staring at Derris Kharlan's crystal perfection, at the winter cold stases he shivered though he could feel no cold.

"We truly have made a Hell of Heaven, there are no sanctuaries, no safety, save the illusions we cherish."

And for him, there were no longer any illusions.

There were no more illusions to cherish, and he felt all lies fall from him as he stared into Hell and saw truth.

"_Martel…phaniste, mer phan, mer phan…_"

Lowering his head amongst his crossed arms he closed his burning eyes to the world.


	8. Nameless Intruder

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 8

Nameless Intruder

"_Ne. Nu. Iea-alli-nul. Pha-nu. Mer-iea, mer-pha, mer mulik… Eneo-eneo cuen_"

"I am not them in all their evil. Not in thought. Not in body. My thought, my body, are my own. Forever and always…"

Yuan Vor'esse

The mountain, the hilly terrain hid what needed to be kept obscured from her innocent eyes. Shivering Rene clung to him; his cloak was bunched under her clenched fingers as she hid behind him. She hid from the world and its terrors behind his cape. He did not break his gaze from the sight before him, but absently reached out and smoothed her hair as he had done for many nights now. His eyes were locked on the thin wisps of smoke that in the dark night she could not see. After three months, their private hell was over. The Desian's had left that late afternoon, the sunlight winked off of the men's steel helmets like a multitude of morbid eyes expressing bloody humor.

As for the Trietians… well Hell had just begun.

While she held him he stood in silence, knowing only that as the Desian's left, Triet burned. As would Iselia, as would any farmstead or insignificant human dwelling that crossed the black clad army's path.

It was the price, a price he had willingly paid, and now everyone paid for it as well.

Still it was done, the base was complete, a simple thing with a few elementary traps, enough to keep the local rabble away.

And they would come; whipped by desperation and hate they would come to kill him, to kill… Rene. He would not allow that however.

He stared at the smoke, his mind walking amongst the tortured bodies of those the Desian's had left behind. Mutilation, rape, fire, the mark of hatred unbridled, the mark of the Desian's, the mark of _his_ people…

"_Ne. Nu. Iea-alli-nul. Pha-nu. Mer-iea, mer-pha, mer mulik… Eneo-eneo cuen_"

"Yuan…" Rene looked up at him, scared.

"Everything is going to be alright." He smoothed down her hair; he sighed and looked down into her green eyes. "I promise. Everything is going to be alright."

"Who… aren't you like Yuan?"

"Them." Yuan looked back to the path where the Desian's had trod, again he saw the ruins of Triet, the people scrambling around amongst the ashes of their homes and lively hoods. "I'm not like them… no more… never again."

Still confused Rene just burrowed her face into the small of his back and he went back to smoothing her hair. They said nothing, for nothing more needed to be said.

X

Yuan sighed, crossed the room and whipped the ashes from the length of steel that stood in its center. The steel wasn't even hot enough that he could feel the waves of uprising pressure, lacking the sensation of fine touch he had learned that pressures could tell temperatures, and the heat was very meager indeed. He sighed, whipped the ashes off on the small towel he'd brought for such a thing, and looked to his pupil.

"Again Rene."

"I don't like using my spells!" Rene protested.

"Magic is a part of you, you can either control it or it can destroy you. I didn't make this base because I was bored Rene, I did it to keep Yggdrasil from finding out about you. So if I go to that length to keep someone from finding you what lengths do you think I will go to keep you from destroying yourself?"

Rene gulped and Yuan ran a hand through his hair. Damned Tethe'allan stigma on magic, breaking it down would be a thousand times harder then any effort Rene would put on breaking this length of steel.

Granted it would take her awhile to do so. It was about four inches thick and easily towered over Yuan, who had five feet of height and some odd inches to his name.

"You are doing better, but it still is not good enough."

"I don't want to do better Yuan, I don't like it."

Yuan sighed. "Rene, you were taught to not like using your mana, I am going to teach you to at least know how to defend yourself, and defending yourself…"

"Means knowing how to cast spells…" Rene finished glumly.

"Exactly…" Yuan nodded, and his lip curled slightly on one side, despite her phobia of magic Rene smiled in response. "Now then, let's try again shall we?"

Rene's smile died at that point.

"Can't we rest?" Rene whined, she'd tried that ploy before and Yuan was prepared for it.

"Yes, after you cast three more fireballs, then we'll take a break from magic and take a walk outside."

Rene's eyes lit up and Yuan held up a hand to stop her from spell casting.

"Nothing sloppy or rushed or you'll do it three times for ever flawed spell you cast."

"No fair!"

"Life isn't fair Rene, now then, I don't hear chanting…"

Grumbling Rene closed her eyes and went into trance. Yuan leaned against the steel sheathed wall and waited.

X

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean…." Rene squeaked in a fascinating mix of horror and humor.

"It was an accident…" Yuan growled, rubbing the towel over his face and morning the loss of his eyebrows. "I shocked myself so many times while learning that I looked like a damned porcupine for most of my childhood."

Rene's fear went away, he was fine, not hurt. Secure in that knowledge she looked up into his face and a grin curled her lips up.

"Yes… yes its funny now, isn't it?" Yuan growled, deciding to look at the towel and wonder which batch of ashes contained his eyebrows. "That was interesting, how you made it detonate before it hit me, how did you do it?"

"There's a kind of center in a fireball, and if you shake it it kind of…" She left it hanging.

"Ah…" Yuan decided he was glad he'd spent the efforts to work in some sort of plumbing unit into the base, his face was probably covered in ash and his rubbings were probably just spreading it around. A bath sounded very nice at the moment. "That's interesting…"

Rene of course started giggling.

Yuan let her, though it was a wound to his pride it was a step in the right direction in breaking her from her fear.

X

She was inept at the staff, a sword was too heavy for her, the mace ungainly, and his sparrow was out of the running since it weighed even more then a mundane sword. She showed some promise with a knife, and she had one hell of an aim. His only purpose for their archery lessons was at first to correct her stance and aim. She quickly outstripped him in archery, aimed and hit whatever she sighted.

She probably had more elf in her blood than human. Elves were famous for their aim with the bow…

Frowning at his thought Yuan shook his head.

Even as she learned he must learn. He must learn to stop taking the easy path.

Rene had a good aim because she just did. She possessed keen eyes and the ability to deduce where the arrow would fly. There was no blood explanation to the business at all; Rene had a good aim with the bow because Rene was Rene.

So they both learned together, and learning being the trial it was for them both it strained their patience some days and other brought them a satisfaction that striving sometimes could bring.

Early mornings were spent with hear learning weapons work, her afternoons spent in more academic pursuit, and the early evening was spent on spell work. After spell work what time was left was hers.

Strangely she spent it in his company more often than not.

"Aren't you going to clean up before we go outside Yuan?"

"Yes Rene…" Yuan sighed, "Don't badger me about it, I'm going right now."

"Well I wouldn't have to badger you about it if you just went and did it without staring into space for forever and a day." Rene snapped, her hands finding a perch on her hips.

"My humor, temperament, and perfectionism, is rubbing off…" Yuan muttered as he stared at the girl. "I don't know if this is good… or bad."

Rene stuck her tongue out at him.

_Definatly bad…_ Yuan decided, a now gleeful Rene tromping behind him to make sure he did as he said he would.

A moody, smaller, female, copy of him, hovering on the edge of puberty, untrained in magic –or rather just learning-, he went to the bathroom and one fierce look persuaded Rene to go find something more interesting to look at. Scrubbing his face with a clean cloth he spent a moment looking at the base of each hair that ran along his scalp.

_Huh… no grey yet…_

But then knowing Rene it would only be a matter of time.

X

"Alright… casting water mana is rather tricky, especially so close to the Seal of Fire. Why is it?"

"Because the fire spreads lots of fire mana and fire mana eats up a lot of water and ice mana as it spreads, fire mana weakens all spells of its opposing elements, especially close to areas that naturally are hot and fiery. It pushes aside wind, light, dark, and lightning mana, and can be absorbed by earth mana."

"Very good." Yuan smiled. "Now knowing this, know I don't expect anything more then a small puddle. So don't push yourself and try something flashy."

"Yes, Yuan." Rene frowned, went into trance.

Just as it looked like she was going to cast the spell a large mechanical "whoop" cut through the air and the room around them was stained red with warning lights.

"Damn it…" Yuan winced in pain, fumbled with the odd assortments of magi-technology on his belt and pulled out a small rectangular device with only one button. He pressed down and the screaming stopped, so too did the lights.

"Yuan… are there more bandits coming?" Rene squeaked in fear. He recalled the last time and growled softly. It had been a damned near army that had breached his walls, and he had to fight his way through his own base to get to Rene. The humans had gotten to her quarters first and had nearly… red mist rose in his mind… she had been terrified but had not understood those men's plans. He had, and the mere idea of it...

"Maybe, go to your room and lock the door this time. I'll be back for you as soon as I can."

Rene nodded, went to the door.

It hissed open before she could get to it, and she screamed. Yuan already had seen the man drew his swallow and pushed the girl aside and sword met his more exotic weapon.

_How the hell… unless this one had been in the base since last time then he couldn't have now just triggered the damned alarm!_

He shoved the weaker man back with brute strength, only had enough time to see the brown tattered smock and pants. Not from Triet then, the garb was too long, defiantly Iselian.

Catching the clumsy slash he smashed the edge of the long sword with one of the blades of his swallow. Grunting the human put all his strength into trying to wrench Yuan's arm down, the Seraph grinned, no mere human would get the best of him anytime soon. Yuan turned his wrist, the human staggered as the weapons lock broke. The lower blade from the swallow swept up and its counterpart dipped down. The lower blade smashed into the human's long sword, and with all his inhuman strength behind him Yuan took advantage of the human's poor grip and the blade spilled from the startled man's fingers.

"Shit!" The man staggered back, bringing his slashed up hand to his face and staring dumbly at the line of crimson that ran just below his knuckles.

Yuan lifted a hand; purple light crackled and writhed around his fist.

"Yuan!"

"All intruders must be killed Rene, I'm sorry but this is how it has to be…"

"He's a half-elf, Yuan!"

"It doesn't matter-" Yuan growled, "-he's seen, he dies, it's that simple."

"You kill your kinsmen? That's pretty damned low, man." The half-elf growled, still nursing his wounded hand.

Yuan frowned at the man's use of Tethe'allan slang. He lowered his hand and took a long look at the creature before him. The tattered clothes hung too loosely, the face was shrunken and made all the more angular by the caved in cheeks and sunken eyes. The ears had a subtle point which he could now see since the strange, lumpy, hat had fallen to the ground during their scuffle. Yuan took in the weather beaten face, it was almost made vulpine by its angularity and those squinted up brown eyes.

"Rene… I'm going to be outside the room with our _guest_… close the door behind you and lock it."

"So… she's your kid right? Kind of a big place for just you and one ki- erk!"

Yuan smirked, pleased that pressing the edge of his swallow against the man's throat effectively shut him up. Annoying, grating mortal, distant kinsmen or not the man's chatter was more then cause enough for Yuan to want to kill him.

"Yuaaaan!"

"No Rene, he is not a cat." Yuan hissed. The half-elf facing the pointy end of his swallow looked confused as Hell.

"I wasn't going to say I wanted to keep him, what do you think I am a _Desian_?"

"No, I don't." Yuan sighed, his anger dissipating under her accusation. "But logically you know that we can' keep him here. He can't go outside, he would undoubtedly tell the villagers that there was only two half elves here… then _all_ of Triet would come to out doors and the last time would be nothing compared to that."

"Hey… I won't tell any-"

At Yuan's glare the man shut up.

"You're going to hurt him… even though he's a half-elf…"

"Rene," Yuan growled. "He could be the son of Spirituian and I'd hardly care."

"Who?"

"That woman… in the scriptures... What in Hell was her name again?"

The green haired girl shrugged, she no longer cared for the facts of a religion she knew to be a lie.

"Wa... Wait a second. You _aren't_ Desians?" The half-elf gulped when ice cold blue eyes snapped on him. "N… Not that I couldn't keep that little fact to myself, I'll seal my lips about it, cool?"

"Corpses tell no secret." Yuan growled.

"Yuan you can't kill him! It wouldn't be right!"

"Why not!" Yuan spat. " Tell me _one_ thing that he could do alive that would redeem for all the damage his death would prevent."

Rene frowned, and then looked at the dusty half elf. "You're honest right?"

"Never spoke a lie in my life darling…"

"You just lied." Rene's frown deepened.

"Alright, I _try_ to be honest kid…" the man's eyes were locked on Yuan, who with the flick of his wrist could turn the swallow around and slash the man's throat.

"Well that works!" Rene chirped, a smile curling her lips up.

"How so?" Yuan raised an eyebrow, turning his head to look at his cheerful charge.

"Weeeell…" Rene dragged out her words when she was going to say something that she felt was obvious. "If he's honest and he tells the people of Triet there are millions of Desians here, and that horrible things were going on, wouldn't the desert people leave us alone?"

Yuan and the prisoner blinked and there was a long silence while Yuan mulled it over.

"Now, that's a smart kid. Let me guess, she's adopted, right?"

"Don't give me any more reason's to slash your throat then I already have inferior being."

"If I were human I might actually accept that load of crap…"

"If you had any wit you might remain quiet." Yuan hissed.

Rene just rolled her eyes.

"Don't give me any of your attitude young lady, or I'll extend your mana lessons by an hour for two weeks." Yuan snapped, not even taking his gaze off the half-elf bandit.

"You aren't going to hurt him?" Rene pressed.

"If he keeps his mouth shut and does as orders… then no."

"Alright!" Cheerful again Rene skipped back to the lesson room.

"Teenagers… gotta love their mood sings."

Despite himself, Yuan shuddered at the thought.

X

After escorting the half-elf outside Yuan waited until the man was out of his formidable rang of sight and then made a sweep of the fence. Charged by electricity the fence should have been enough to ward off any would be assassin, and had been the death of many bandits. The Trietian's last large scale attack had only come close to succeeding because of bad timing that had left him charging the fence's generator while they had decided to slash through it with their swords. During his search he found two long staves, about ten feet in height. One of them was leaning against the outer wall –smoldering- and the other was had fallen only a few inches on the inside of the fence.

A large man shaped imprint in the sand less then two feet from the fallen staff indicated that the would be acrobat had taken one Hell of a tumble after getting shocked from tripping over the fence.

Putting a hand to his forehead Yuan shook his head…

So this was his kindred was it? This fool was a man that he should respect because they were both half-elves? Perhaps all the races of a declining world degenerated together, that would explain it… Yuan turned and looked at the steel camera that poked out from the great dome like a misplaced eye. Well perhaps misplaced wasn't the right term for it. The camera's location certainly would provide him with an excellent view of the man's entry, and offer a fuller explanation to why the alarms hadn't gone off.

It would also provide him with some entertainment.

X

Chuckling Yuan replayed the tape again, it was the third time he'd watched it, and yes while it was a very juvenile pursuit everyone had their silly moments, and this was his. The half-elf on the screen screamed like a girl then with a wail of "Mommy" hit the sand and lay twitching in the sand for a few moments.

Yuan watched as the man recovered, padded across the sand –still twitching- and then went to the door. An application of some sort of powder and the thief could see the trail of fingerprints on the key pad and now had access to the keys used in the password. Pure luck prevailed, and the man had opened the door with the proper password and trotted inside.

Shame he hadn't put in the wrong keys, ah well, Yuan had changed the passwords to every room even Rene's private room. And all the new passwords involved using every key on the board so the powder was now useless. Later, after the change, Rene accidentally locked herself out of her room without the password list. She had tromped over to his room and given him Hell over it, and while he had apologized she still seemed rather sulky over the experience. While it was her fault in being careless was also partially his as well and he still felt as if he hadn't quite made up for it…

Red lights flashed –he had muted the alarm so he wouldn't suffer when it went off- and Yuan frowned. Obviously Rene's little ploy hadn't worked if they were being attacked so soon. He stood; reaching out, swallow now in hand he left the control room. If that damned half-elf had betrayed them Yuan swore he would ram his swallow into very sensitive parts of the bandit's body. Perhaps he would do so after rubbing a length of red quartz along the blades of his weapon.

"Yuan?" Rene ran up to him, leaving the small library and abandoning whatever she had been studying. "What's going on?"

"Nothing I can't deal with, and if I remember your room lies in the _other_ direction."

"I was worried." Rene murmured.

Yuan smiled, patted her head.

"You don't ever need to worry about me Rene. Now go to my rooms, they're closer, and lock the door. I'll be back when I am finished."

Rene nodded, cast him one look before she turned a corner –going in the right way he noted- and he tried to smile encouragingly.

Perhaps it worked, some of the fear seemed to leave her eyes, and she went on her way.

Pressing the control on his belt he killed the lights and quietly skulked around his base, he found and heard nothing until he got to the entrance. He frowned, stared at the front door in total shock and the soft knocking sounded out again.

Frowning he taped in the password and the door hissed open.

"Hey, your passwords' all messed up! You know that right?"

Yuan felt a muscle in his jaw spasm as his teeth gnashed together.

"Soo..." Brushing past Yuan the half-elf bandit strolled into the base. "What do you have to eat around here, and to drink? I'm starved and it's damn hot outside!"


	9. Onesided Understanding

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 9

Mutial understanding

_Author's Note: Man that bandit's pushing every button human (er half-elfishly? Is that a word?) possible with Yuan. He might live, and if he does what he becomes might be interesting. Someone already guessed it in thier review but I wouldn't want to spoil it for the rest of you._

"_So the angels' are a big lie, who woulda known?"_

_Zelos Wilder_

There was a hiss of electricity, and the bandit turned and stared at the blue haired Seraph. He blinked, lightning surrounded the slender pale man in black, little purple starlets drifted about the man's frame and the bandit blinked at the sight.

"That's really pretty, if I wanted to I could light up too, but I don't like using my mana like that. So you can go and light up like that and I'll go knock off some chow in the 'fridge, 'K?"

"_Those who have passed before me, here my voice and let thy fury-"_

"Wow… a circle… now that's really impressive." The bandit moved to walk out of the glowing purple runes snapped with electricity and threw him right into the center of the circle. "Ow shit… I think I'm screwed."

_"-be heard, let my voice combine with thy own_-"

"Look, we're kin, brothers in arms, right?"

"_Holy indignation judgment_!"

"Mommy…"

Purple light leaked from the edges of the circle and spiraled up to form a violet star that brushed against the ceiling. The air seemed to be ripped aside by the lightning the spell released. Even as the star exploded and roared down with an electric fury Volt would have envied six gleaming pillars of light screamed down from the heavens.

"Yuan? Is that the bandit?"

Yuan snarled as he recognized the speaker. Rene had refused to listen to him _again_! He decided that some punishment was in order for that, even as he decided that watching a man get vaporized was _not _what the little girl needed to see. Gnashing his teeth Yuan grasped the lighting spell with his mind and barely turned it aside in time. There was a sizzle, a scream, and the bandit blinked dumbly to see through watering eyes the metal less then five feet away dissolve. Whimpering the brown clad half elf watched as the light split into a hundred beams with a hundred hues, they smacked against the earth, leaving dents in the steal floor and seriously bruising the thief. Not too concerned about that, satisfied that he'd spared Rene the sight of someone dying, Yuan whirled on his heal and glared at the girl.

"My office lies in the _other_ direction Rene."

"I couldn't get the dumb door to open."

Yuan arched one blue eyebrow and Rene gulped. She was caught now, she'd opened his door before and she knew the password, he now knew she was lying.

"How… fascinating." Yuan murmured, and his soft tone was laced with a dark irony that the girl had the sense to flinch at. "You certainly knew the password earlier this week, now you forget it, I find that fascinating..."

Rene gulped, cringed back from his icy unblinking eyes.

"So selective…. Your _forgetting_ comes at such a convenient time to you, yet such an inconvenient time for _me_."

Still curled up in a ball on the floor the bandit mouthed "help me", seeing that Rene gathered the last of her courage, gritted her teeth, and crossed her arms over her chest in a show of defiance.

"You were going to hurt him."

"Don't change subject young lady!"

"What, are you going to fry me too?"

"No!" Yuan spat. "I don't kill innocents."

"Well you kill half elves."

"I kill thieves, murderers, intruders, not children."

"So are you just going to fry me when I become a adult?"

"_An_ adult-" Yuan snapped the correction. "-and no, I won't fry you. That has to be the most ridiculous thing you've ever said to me."

"You said that about the cherry, then the ribbon, then the bird man comment…"

Yuan's lips quirked despite himself and he nodded to say that she was right.

"You seem to have a habit of pushing against the worlds logic and coming up with a multitude of inane comments."

"Well…" Rene frowned, not quite understanding all of that. "Bleh!" She stuck her tongue out at him and Yuan snorted.

"An amazing rebuttal, I'm in awe of your arguing prowess."

"Oh shut up." Rene grumbled, still not able to follow Yuan when he used long confusing words.

"Where the Hell do you think _you_ are going?" Yuan's voice was pure ice and the bandit froze in mid crawl towards the door at that tone.

"No where, Sir?" The bandit squeaked.

"That's better… Rene, go to my office, I'll deal with…"

"You mean kill." The green haired child snapped. "It's not right Yuan, we can't kill everyone."

"You've never protested before." Yuan snapped.

"They were human's, why should I care!"

Yuan opened his mouth, closed his mouth, then went silent. The only sound in the room was the whimpering of the bandit, who was praying to Martel to be ready to take his soul… Yuan's eyes flashed with anger at that, he focused that rage on the expendable bandit. Stalking up to the man he delivered a sharp kick, all prayers died in a loud _whoosh_ and the man sank to the steel floor gasping in pain.

Satisfied _that_ was handled, Yuan turned back to Rene.

"You care because they are half of what you are. You are the product of a union between an elf and a human, and to turn your back on one parent is to turn your back on both. Humans may be annoying, grating, and incredibly stupid, but they came before us and are entitled _some_ respect."

"They don't care about us!"

"That's where the _stupid_ part of the description fits in." Yuan snapped.

"You don't care."

"I can't, after living two millennia I can't care for them!" Yuan spat. "Because of what I am I'm not supposed to care for anyone, much less the race that killed everyone I ever cared for! They torched my village Rene, when I was a child I saw my village burn and lived off the refuse of a neighboring city for years after. What have you endured? A few racial slurs, some sarcasm? My family _died_ because of them, if anyone's entitled to hate the race of man it's _me_, child, _not_ _you_."

Rene shivered, but despite wanting to run in the face of Yuan's rage she did not. Taking a deep breath the Seraph reined in his anger and met the girl's green eyes squarely.

"Go to your room, _now_."

"No." Rene's knees were literally knocking together. "You'll kill him if I do!"

"So? He's not one of us Rene, so who cares?"

"Who are _us_? You and the Desian's, is that _us_, Yuan?" Rene snapped, tears were gathering in her eyes.

"No, just you and me, that's all us is. He's a danger, he'll tell the humans of Triet, he can not go out again, he is not to be trusted, and I was merciful once before…"

"Umm about that… they bought it if you wanna know." The half elf squeaked from his inelegant position on the floor.

"Bought what?" Yuan growled.

"That there's a gazillion Desian's here and they do evil things, and eat glass and barbed wire for break to improve their tempers, you know, that sorta stuff…"

Yuan raised an eyebrow, surprised that the man would have returned to report anything at all, much less success.

"See, what'd I tell you?He had a reason." Rene pointed out triumphantly.

"Yes, he had a reason.No, you never told me he would have one." Yuan growled. "Don't think that because this turned out alright that you aren't in trouble young lady."

"Yes Yuan." Rene whispered, bowing her head.

"Harsh man, the term "lighten up" ever cross you're vocab?"

"How I take care of my charge is none of your concern..." Yuan snapped, his hands clenching into fists.

"It's Z'eh, if you're curious. And if that little scamp's yours it's _so_ my concern." Comfortable, sitting less then a few feet away from a smoking bit of metal and not at all phazed the half elf looked up, hiseyes turned to mere slits. "I owe that girl my hide socan't be letting you make her life a total drag can I? Sooo-" The half elf smirked up at the Seraph."-my jobs done and when you do a job I figure you get paid somehow.First part I want is food and water, I'll give you the rest of the bill later."

Yuan's eyes blazed, invisible lightning crackled around him, a blazing auraenveloped him to any who posessed a hinting of Sight. Since Rene and Z'eh werenot gifted they only saw a few purple starlets drift from his hands and dancing around his heat like some bizzare halo.

Used to it, since it looked really silly to her, Rene giggled, slipped past her Seraph protector and offered Z'eh her hand. The bandit took it and brought it to his lips and chastly kissed abover her knuckles.

The air around Yuan began to smolder from barely held in check power at that point, and a hint of purple fire lit up the Seraph's eyes.

Oblivious, Rene and Z'eh went to the kitchen, chattering merrily about the ins and outs of the fortress.

With a curse Yuan released the spell and an innofensive door was instantly vaporized by an indignation spell.

Then remembering it was_ his_ door and that he'd have to pay for it to be repaired Yuan winced.Mindless destruction of inanimate objects was _so_ much more pleasing when you knew you didn't have to pay or repair the object...

X

It was not Yuan's day.

Rene thought the bandit was funny, the bandit was nearly drowning the poor girl with his lame jokes and totally false charm. They ate and bantered while Yuan sat at the table and seethed.

While not nutricious to a mortal being while they ate meat and bread the Seraph dinned with them. They ate food he ate his mounting rage.

It wasn't something he could put a knife through, or chew upon.But his mind went over it again and again, hedwelled upon his angerwith such intense repetative rythmatic measured motionsthat it might as well have been chewing. Save that unlike chewing he was not lessening his anger, he was increasing his rage. He was smooth, polite, Rene bought his act and went to take a nap in his office at his gentle sugestion.

Of course he had forgiven her by then. What else could he do but think while they had eatten? She had had a small lapse in judgment and the adults were going to go off and discuss -he stressed the word discuss in his most gentle tone- the matter in length. He wished her pleasent dreams as always and then patted her on the head.

_"Asatha'lle, _Yuan_."_

"_Asatha'luse, Renea."_

"I thought her name was Rene?"

"It's a linguistical emphasis that falls upon her name and alters the sound somewhat. It wouldn't quite translate over to the modern tongue." Yuan explained cooly to the bandit.

"Oh..." the man blinked dumbly, not getting so much as one word out of that. "uh nice?"

The bandit moved to spear another chunk of meat, Yuan patiently waited until he could no longer hear Rene's footfalls or heartbeat and then reached out with a thought. The bandit howled as a snake of electricity went snapped across his metal utensil and shocked him. Z'eh topled out of the chair and Yuan stood, silent as death, his pale face and cold wintery eyes serean as if nothing had happened. He walked to the downed man, did not offer hand to help the man stand or extend what healing spells he had mastered over the years to take away some of the half-elf's pain.

"There isn't really a need for you here Z'eh." Yuan said cooly. "Know that the _only_ reason you are alive is because one little girl decided to disobey my orders."

The bandit gasped weakly, but was in no shape to reply. Yuan hadn't let the spell flare to full power, and having to have been chanelled throgh a vesel of earth the mana was somewhat weakened, but that did not mean this Z'eh was in good shape. It would be several hours before the man had gained enough motor function back to properly crawl back to the room that had been dubbed his by one very willful little girl.

"You lay _one_ hand on her I don't like, say one of your more courser comments in her presence _ever_ again, or even _think_ of her in a way I dub inappropriate and I'll skin you alive and throw your carrion out to the vultures. Do we understand each other?"

Z'eh managed a weak whimper and Yuan sighed, lifted a hand that shone a brilliant emerald green. The light glided from his fingers and settled on the bandit, taking away all the damage but doing little for the pain. The bandit moaned, curled up into a ball, and Yuan turned the manover with a nudge of his boot. He stared dispasionatly into those dark eyes that streamed with tears, strived for a moment to remember agony and what it felt like. Being imortal he had almost forgoten, oh he could remember it, but remembering was not the same as feeling first hand...

He thought of Rene hurt, in pain, dead... and agony came to his soul if not his body.

"You lay one finger on Rene, hold one malicious thought and this will seem like _nothing_ compared to what will come." Yuan let a sliver of irony creep into hisvoice. "When you actualy realize that you are no longer smoldering or even hurt you should probably withdrawl to your rooms. I'll have suitable clothing provided for you. It wouldn't do to have a child see you clothed only in ashes, now would it?"

"You... bas.. bastard..."

Yuan shrugged off the insult, he'd been called fouler things in the skimrishes during the Kharlan war, Hell, Kratos was more creative then this man. He brushed past the man and paused as a grmmy hand grasped the edge of his cloak.

"You... hurt her I swear I'll kill you." the bandit croaked.

"You'll try." Yuan corrected smoothly, he flicked his gaze over to the downed man and met those brown eyes with his own icy blue orbs. "I won't hurt her.In either world she is the only being worthy of my protection, why would I hurt what I strive to protect?"

Dumbly the bandit stared at him, not understanding...

Yuan shifted his cape about and the man wisly let go.

This man named Z'eh was not worthy of understanding, he was too weak to understand, too pathetic...

It was going to be persuading Rene of that, that was going to be the trick.


	10. confrontation

Defiance; Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 10

Z'eh and Yuan, confrontation

_Quote inspired by the song "Everything you want" by Vertical Horizon_

_The anger of angels who will never return falls upon us all for our sacrilege. But their anger –much like them- is impotent. It is a touch of fire in the mind that can easily be doused by cool reason. We have made it as such; casting them from heaven we have stolen their wings and made ourselves into their image. And they, now lost amongst the mass of mortals, now they look upon their desecrated halls and do weep._

_As do all who understand must weep, all who have lost, their tears, our tears, are one and the same._

_Yuan Vor'esse_

_Author's Note: I just wanted Z'eh and Yuan to have it out without Rene stepping in, so I arranged it and got about as much a surprise out of Z'eh as did Yuan –and probably the lot of you- enjoy the short angsty chapter guys!_

This had to be a joke! He stared at the glossy black tunic and pants that had been left for him. He stared numbly at the clothes, at the helmet, that had been left for him. The sapphire in the front of the helm's eye winked at him in macabre humor, as surly as the man who had "gifted" it to him must now be laughing.

"Sick sadistic bastard." Z'eh snarled, throwing the helmet aside. "I'm not some damned Desian!"

The helmet smashed into an inoffensive wall. Whatever it was made out of was good, it was thick and despite being thrown against the wall full strength only fell to the ground with a hollow clank and rocked back and forth on its smooth domed top. It tipped, in its rocking one of the helmet's straps became loose and though it was a tiny nudge…

Though small the nudge was more then enough. The helmet fell over and now looked up at him from the floor with its one sapphire eye.

"I'm not a Desian!"

Pooled in the golden sunlight, neither in the edge of shadow or the edge of light, the helmet's eye no longer caught flashes of light to wink with.

X

You're have one man, a virtual slave, a child bound to one place by your own shortsightedness, and more time then you can imagine on your hands?

So what do you do with it all?

What could he do with it all?

He could safely offer Rene distraction; her adoration for him would stall off the inevitable realization that they were both trapped by his stupidity. Now he had no more distraction to offer. While they were alone Yuan could weave illusion or offer evasion, but the intruder…

The bandit had come from the world, and the world came in with him.

Now he had to figure what to do with the situation. The most obvious was to kill the man, after all accidents happened…

But Rene would skin him alive if he did that, she was fond of the bastard and…

Someone pounded on his door, since Rene was knew the password it could only be the bandit. It was more of an effort to end the racket then any act of civility that motivated him to wave a hand at the door and cast the spell that opened it.

Dressed in black, features lost under the steel helmet, Z'eh stormed into the Seraph's private chambers. The room was more of an office then "private chambers though. The main room which Yuan sat and Z'eh steamed in only had two pieces of furniture. A wooden desk filled with blank papers that would someday be filled with notes on the cardinals and Chosen's to come, and a chair. He leaned back into the leather padded chair –padding he could not feel- and stared up at the man with narrowed eyes.

"Is this your idea of a _joke?_!" The bandit hissed. "Because I swear to Martel if it is I'll…"

"Get electrocuted again?" Yuan offered when the man's dog like snarls got on his nerves. "Because if you try to back any threat against me that's _all_ that will happen. You are little more then an ignorant child, you cry out at my every act and bawl for freedom, yet you don't comprehend just how tightly you are bound because you can't see the bonds. Or rather you see the blood your struggling draws but refuse to see the cause."

Z'eh growled, fumbled out the short sword on his belt and Yuan raised an eyebrow.

"You can't kill me you know, I am immortal."

"You're a lunatic. You've chained that poor kid to you in this place and you're a vulking lunatic!" Z'eh roared.

Yuan stood, his black cloak rustled about him as he studied the passionate half elf before him with the detached interest he'd study some sort of insect. Yuan coolly strolled from behind the desk, casually went in front of it and instinct made his fingers dig into the geometric design that had been carved into the molding that ran along the wooden span that ran between it's edges.

"That's your interpretation of what you see, nothing more nothing less. But, feel free to give killing me a try."

Z'eh more then eagerly complied. Blade leading the false Desian smashed his blade into Yuan's chest. It went though skin, bone, and lung without even slowing. The weapon didn't tangle on rib, and even the hilt went through the blue haired half elf, though the wound was too small to actually accommodate the weapon's passing.

Z'eh's dark eyes were wide, his fist, still wound around the handle of his blade, was pressed against the white unstained front of Yuan's tunic.

Yuan chuckled, his voice was pinched sounding, but his left lung had shut down to accommodate for the weapons coming, so he was only working with half the air to speak with. He smiled, a mocking little grin, and the bandit shuddered. At last the man let go of his weapon and staggered back in horror.

With the air of a man pulling out a burr from his tunic front Yuan pulled out the blade from his chest. Yuan turned his face aside. With a shaking hand he pulled the locks of blue from his face and coughed up a few droplets of blood. After licking his lips the Seraph let his hair fall back into place and threw the weapon aside.

"You want freedom, you despise my actions, the uniform I offered you was so grave an insult you'd shed my blood over it, isn't it?"

Z'eh gapped at Yuan, he knew how far away his room was from the office, and there was no way that the man…

Yuan cleared his throat, and his voice assumed its normal tone.

"You thought I was just another half elf, didn't you?"

Z'eh only looked up at him in numb terror.

"You don't understand the world around you, so you act blindly. Thrashing like an animal caught in the snare, all you do is writhe and scream, and ultimately all you achieve nothing save the destruction to all that's around you."

"Then tell me…"

Yuan blinked, stared down at the man with ice hued eyes.

"If I'm so ignorant, then change that…"

Z'eh's eyes were wide, his face pale, his lips little more then a thin line on his face. The ill trained warrior shook with horror. Half-elves lived in the world of magic, the world of the real, all at once, it was not the supernatural that disturbed them, rather that which was a perversion of the supernatural and natural worlds. And in all imagining there was no greater perversion of anything then a lifeless being.

There was no greater perversion upon any world then an angel made by Yggdrasil's hand.

"You have guts-" Yuan congratulated the man. –but you're not strong enough."

"I'm stronger then that little girl you picked up from who knows where."

"Ozette." Yuan snapped.

Z'eh gapped as he recognized the name and Yuan nodded as one piece of the puzzle came and fit snuggly.

"Where did you come from Z'eh, from another world? They thought you were a lunatic, that's why you're so free with the term. Because you've heard it most of the time you've been here, haven't you? How many years has it been Z'eh? How many long years have you heard that word?"

And at his words, Z'eh crumpled. All facades of strength fell from him, and he wept.

"I may be a harsh person, cold, bitter, cynical-" Yuan murmured as he walked by the weeping man. "-but I am not insane nor am I a sadist. I will not inflict the truth upon you, because it would annihilate whatever sanity you've clung to over the years. Just know that you aren't insane, _yet_. I'll let you know when your wits start to slip a little."


	11. “Night Reminisce”

Chapter 11

_Glorious, glorious, glorious child, pure child, take forth a journey across the world, thy purity be our own, be the worlds. Sweet winds to trail after thee and banish the tainted dead air we do breathe, at your touch the waters purify, the dead flames leap to life. And by thy light is all fell shadow is lifted._

_Book of Regeneration_

Author's note,

_Rene Yuan angsty fluff… some stuff on Martel's death, more on Yuan's existence, as well. Wrote this to "Me Against the World". _

"Night Reminisce"

Z'eh was pale, aloof, and distant for days. Rene frowned, thought it over, then after it didn't seem to fix itself waited until the bandit was asleep walked halfway across the _pax_ Desian base to knock on Yuan's door. She wasn't scared about waking Yuan up, Yuan never slept, was always wide awake, so she waited and he opened the door. His ever alert ice hued eyes flicked onto her, noted the dark circles with only the faintest of frowns, but that was –for Yuan- the same as saying "What's wrong" and acting all concerned. He nodded, gestured for her to enter, and closed and locked the door behind him. Once he never would have bothered, but now that Z'eh was around…

Yuan was angry, and he was horrible at hiding just how angry he was to her. He was scaring Z'eh, and that was wrong. Only knowing that what Yuan was doing was wrong allowed Rene to get the courage to do this.

Taking a deep breath Rene said the first thing on her mind.

"What'd you do this time?"

"I fail to understand the question." Yuan's tone grew just a touch sharper, the effect something like tying a razor to the tip of Yuan's weird sword staff hybrid weapon.

"I don't want to get mad at you; I don't want to have a fight." Rene said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "But I will if you dance around answering me."

"What are you, my conscience?" Yuan spat.

And it was then Rene knew this was going to be bad, a bad fight.

"What did you do to poor Z'eh, he's acting more timid then a rabbit."

"He started it!" Yuan snarled, anger actually coloring his bloodless looking cheeks, making him look… well non seraphimish.

"You didn't!" Tene gasped, thinking that Yuan had actually shown the poor man his wings.

"Didn't do what?" Yuan growled, between being annoyed and hating Z'eh and growing even more annoyed with her lack of proper grammar Yuan wasn't quit too sure how he was going to deal with all this inconvenient non-angelic input that mortals called _emotion_.

"You didn't… angelic him did you?"

"No…" Yuan felt the tenseness leave him, felt the pressure around his shoulders, the harsh words that had been building and clogging his throat dissipate. Now he understood why she'd been angry, scared, worried, and had confronted him. He sighed in relief as the unaccustomed feelings of anger and frustration faded. "No, I did not show my wings, or cast a judgments spell upon him, though I have to admit the temptation is there. He… annoys me Rene, more then you can comprehend."

Rene bit her lip, she hadn't expected him to calm down so fast, and cocked her head to the side, her green eyes bright, curious.

Much like a child who, seeing their action had garnered themselves some reward and wanted to learn how so they could milk the situation to its limit.

Seeing the look, recognizing what it portended, Yuan chuckled. With a lazy gesture he made a chair that he'd put in here for her to use hop across the room. Rene took her seat with no signs of shock or horror that she'd shown the first time he'd done the spell, now that she was sitting on the stool –he'd offered her a more comfortable chair like his, she'd picked the stool for some strange reason anyways- he sank into his padded long backed chair and clasped his hands together, looked at her, waited.

"Why don't you like him?"

"I don't like most people." Yuan admitted with a shrug, feeling no shame over the confession. "Humanity, the "sacred" elves, and the bulk of the persecuted half elves, are backwards, stupid, and crude. Z'eh, epitomizes these traits."

"Oh…" Rene frowned. "Well that's kinda stupid, I mean not everyone's two million years old so they don't have time to get as smart as you are."

"I've been alive fore two millennia Rene; I am only two thousand years old."

"_Only_?"

"You had to say that… didn't you…" Yuan sighed, bowed his head, and the long locks of blue hair fell forward to cover half of his face.

Green sharp eyes grew distant as the girl mulled over what had been said, considered the unspoken promise and apology, then she focused on something that was really bothering her.

"You need a hair cut."

"Stop mother-hening me Rene." Yuan growled. He closed his eyes, hearing another woman's voice say much the same thing to him so long ago…

"Someone has to do it." Rene sniffed. "You don't take care of yourself so I have to do it sometimes. You're a handful, you know that?"

Yuan opened his eyes, his lips quirked into a half smile.

"You don't need to feed me, I'm sufficiently house trained, and I can defend myself, I'm not much of a pet."

"I know." Rene nodded her green eyes sparkling with laughter. "So when can I get a cat?"

"Rene." Yuan chuckled. "You are sleepy, and there's the door, use it and go back to bed, we'll talk some more in the morning."

Rene slipped from the stool, and then went to the door, at the threshold she paused.

"I… forgot the password again, Yuan." Rene sighed.

He knew from her tone she was lying. The way she would not meet his eyes, the waver in her tone, all were telling. He almost called her out on it, almost asked for the real reason. At the last second he stopped himself, even as she strangled over some small garbled word fragment right before his name. Let her have her secrets, he had his own, she had her own, there was nothing wrong with that. He stood, the chair whose comfort he could not feel had no way to lure him back into its embrace, and because of that lack of sensitivity he was immune to the effects of lethargy, laziness. He walked up to her, his black cloak rustled behind him, the halves no longer tangled amongst his legs, nor did the strings and cords rasp against his throat with an unbearable continuous touch. It had taken time, a few adjustments –and a slight change in his gait- but he had grown accustomed to the complex Triet styled cape and had actually grown frond of it.

"You don't have a good memory as I do." Yuan said with a slight smile. "There's no shame in that, no wrong."

She didn't protest as he set his hand across her small shoulders, shifted his cape so that it draped over her and offered some warmth that the magic topaz chilled steel seemed to suck out of the very desert. She walked with him; seemed content –even happy- that he lay one hand on her shoulder, that she was shielded from the world by the soft black fabric of his cape. What a poor shield fabric was though, any arrow, any knife could pierce it with ease…

He opened the door, scolded her affectionately, and told her the code for what felt to be the hundredth time. She –as always- only looked up at him with those hauntingly familiar laughing eyes. Then the laughter faded, for just a second, she seemed to make her mind up about something, and she smiled up at him.

"Good night Yuan, if you do sleep tonight have sweet dreams."

Then she hugged him, he stiffened, but she ignored that. Rene snuggled against him until he awkwardly patted her head and in a very tight strained voice wished her pleasant dreams.

She let him go, for one second pain flashed in her emerald eyes, then with a bright smile ducked into her room. Though the door closed it did not shield his ears to the soft sobs, the hiccups of pain. Concerned, he put his hand to the smooth steel, though he could have forced it open and confronted her –or just typed in the damned code- he didn't.

What could he say?

Even the sound of her pain –a source less pain that couldn't be defeated by blade or wit- filled his heart with heaviness and put a painful pressure against the back of his eyes. He sighed; his hand fell down to his side, the digits traced an invisible pattern across the steel. Her pain, it made him freeze, hesitate, as surely as the sight of the crazed knight Maveric charging Martel had made him freeze.

He recalled and felt the same icy stillness; the same sickness coupled with a horror a rage that had overwhelmed him two millennia ago creep back into his mind. It was part memory, part reality, a blending of both. He hadn't remembered anything after Martel had looked up from healing Kratos, despite his memory that never forgot… the red haze came and his mind's eye was stained a bloody red in those hellish final moments. He could see Maveric's blade descend, could remember every detail of that weapon, vaguely feel himself drawing his Swallow.

A falcon had screamed, Kratos had cried out in agony, Mithos screamed as if that knife had torn his soul from his body…

And he had come too with the torn corpse of a man at his feet, blood dripping from his weapon, the stench of lighting cook flesh thick in the air. He had been panting; the lust of killing, of committing wild bloody murder was fading. He'd almost gotten ill as the hatred and rage seeped out of him, as the reek of death, of lightning, and the sight of the _thing_ at his feet that was no longer recognizable greeted him. He dropped his blade, coming to realize that –even as she was dying- Martel was healing Kratos, that Mithos had drawn the Eternal Sword that even more battered ruminants of the Tethe'allan's shadow touched unit were coming at them.

He shuddered, shied away from the memories of the fires Mithos had summoned then, shied away from the screams and smells of a burning regiment of fifty humans being enveloped on lava.

Sickness wanted to come for him then, he staggered away from the child's door. Reached up and nearly ripped fistfuls of his hair out to stop the damning flow of memories, as if mere mortal pain would pull him from the hell born memories that his angelic mind relished in showing him again and again.

Sobs, the child sobs cut into his heart, the only part of him capable of being wounded now due to his _blessed_ immortality. That pain was enough to bring him back. Mithos faded, his black wide eyes, his mad ranting and the waves of fire… it all stopped.

From behind a steel door… he heard Rene sob…

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to speak, even though he was anything but composed.

"Rene…"

The sobs were quiet, like she was trying to gulp them down so she could talk.

"Do you want me to open the door, for me to come in?"

It was half strangled; he couldn't really understand what she'd said. He decided to take it as a "yes". He taped in the code, slipped into the room. She was on her bed, curled up, a ball of misery. Not quite understanding what he was doing, not knowing what he could even do, he sat on the edge of her bed. A trembling hand –all on its own accord it seemed- smoothed back her green locks, gently wound then unwound the silken locks that he could not feel.

She sat up as the worst of her sobs stopped ripping through her. Rene's confusion matched his own, save that she showed it.

He wrapped his arms around her, drew her close and held her to him as the last sobs passed through her.

"Are you feeling better?" He whispered.

"Y… yes…" She hiccupped and he patted her back as he had seen parents do with their very young offspring.

"Rene… I don't know what you want from me." Yuan sighed, pulled back and she looked at him, her heart in her eyes. "You could say it a hundred times, a hundred ways… but I doubt I can give you what you want. There… you… look like someone, someone I knew who died long long ago. I was... a half elf then and despite my split of blood I was a whole man. When I became an angel, the person who did this to me…"

He took her hand in his, guided it so that it rested over his heart. Even under the tunic she could feel the stone, the crest made of white silver that had been imbedded in his chest long ago. Her eyes widened, her young face twisted in horror as she felt just how large it was, as she imagined how deep it dug into him.

"When he made me into a Seraph my heart was bleeding, she had just been murdered... To keep me from dying Rene… the Lord of Heaven ripped my heart out and replaced it with this."

He released her hand, though she kept it over his cruxis crystal.

"He took my tears, stole them, stole my feelings, my hope, my dreams, my faith, he ripped all of that and so much more. I couldn't fight him, I was week, sick, and he was strong." He sighed, absently breathed on those damned blue locks that fell over his eyes; they shifted… then fell back over his face. "Lately… lately I've become more of myself, or rather what I once was. Pieces of my heart are coming back, I am healing, but I still bleed Rene. When all has been restored I'll be as I was before, a man with a broken bleeding heart. That's why… if you need something here," He tapped her chest with an index finger. "You are better off going to Z'eh for it. At least he is mortal, and understands mortal things."

He looked at her, and though he was pain and his soul screamed in agony he could show none of it. Leaning forward he moved to push off the bed.

A small hand wrapped around his wrist; stopped him with a touch though her strength was nothing compared to his.

"Try to get some sleep Rene." He said in a tight voice.

"If he took your tears… then… why are you crying?"

"I am not…" His voice broke, shattered, and he bowed his head as acid seemed to seep past his eyes and cut burning paths down his cheeks. There was a thump, a pillow falling over, then a small hand rested on his shoulder, he turned to see what in the Gods name she was doing. She ignored his look of surprise, an expression of intense concentration on her face she used the pillow cover gently dabbed at his eyes.

Only when he had stopped crying did she set the cloth aside, then she wrapped her arms around his neck and nestled against him.

"Every thing is going to be alright Yuan. M-maybe things are sad now, but they'll be alright again, I promise. I guess I forgot, and that's why I was crying… Everything is going to be alright, so you don't need to cry anymore."

Yuan took a shuddering breath, both grateful and grieved that the tears had stopped. The familiar numbness of his seraph existence loomed before him. He wrapped his arms around Rene, held to her with the same desperation that he would hold onto the remains of his mortal soul.


	12. hammer

Chapter 12

Hammer

_When making a steel sword, iron must be heated in flames of hellish heat. Still hot from the forge you must withdraw the ore from the flames, the cool air will take it in hand, and you must beat it into shape with a hammer with utmost speed. It must not cool, or the sword will break under the hammer, it must not be passed through the flames too many times, or the metals will weaken and warp and shatter._

Dwarven text… misc notes on basic forging

He shuddered as Yuan sat and watched Rene eat breakfast. It had been a week, a damned week since he'd been forced to wear the Desian uniform, and he'd have protested by going back to wearing some of his older stuff… but Yuan had taken it, and burned it.

Arrogant, stubborn, greater then thou, demonic, bastard, Z'eh thought, as he speared his eggs. He hoped that his anger would make the forks prongs -which were maiming innocent fried egg embryos- go into that demon's heart. If the creature had a heart to spear that was.

"Anywa… murm murmph mur…"

"Chew and swallow, _then_ speak." Yuan sighed.

"You eat like he starves you, kid." Z'eh noted.

Ice eyes snapped on him and despite himself Z'eh shrank back into his chair ever so slightly.

"What?"

"Listen, inferi-"

"Yuaaan don't talk like a Desian!" Rene whined. "You know I hate that!"

Cold eyes slid over Rene, then settled back on the bandit.

"Listen, bandit, I do not starve her, nor is she some sacrifice for some profane demonic rite, nor do I torture her because of her race, gender, or any other reason."

Rene began to giggle. "Yuan… demon…"

"Young lady, hush."

"Yes, sir."

"What's so funny, missy?"

"Nothing!"

The girl's green eyes were wider then saucers and Z'eh wasn't buying that one. Neither was the blue eyed, blue haired Desian, who just rolled his eyes and instructed her to go to the library, to stay, and wait for him. Then those icy eyes settled back onto him, bore into him so hard he wouldn't be surprised if his soul wasn't laid out before the man's invading indifferent eyes.

"Get up. You're going to do something besides sulk and eat my food today."

"What do you want me to do?"

"What I said, either get up or sit there. After you're last blotched attempt to bump me off I thought you'd appreciate another chance to get it right."

Despite himself Z'eh was interested, he stood and Yuan smiled, and the gesture reached his eyes.

"I made a promise, but in order to keep my promise there are a few things that need to be done. A few people like me that need to be killed. Perhaps, after you're done killing, if there's more of you then say… a pile of ashes on the floor… I'll let you have a second chance."

"You're crazy." Z'eh sputtered. "I hate your guts, I'd kill you, and you're just going to let me? You're damned _crackers_."

"I said I'd give you a chance… not that you would succeed."

X

_I said I'd give you a chance_…

Moaning Z'eh looked up, red from the cut above his head dripped into his eyes. He was vaguely aware that the red warm stuff seeping out of him was blood. The world was drifting away from him, even the pain that told him that he had several broken bones.

_-not that would succeed…_

Black boots drifted into his range of sight, a hand reached down; ripped off the leather cloak he'd been given. He watched with blurring vision as Yuan coolly whipped his Swallow clean of blood then looked down at his broken form with a grim smile.

"You're spirited, but that's all you have going for you at the moment. You lack the strength to draw a line of my blood, the skill to even hold that sword right, and stamina to even make me winded much less wear me down to the point I'd make serious mistakes in judgment… and by the looks of you, you are dying. You have a long way to go."

Lifting a hand the blue haired man muttered a few words and indigo stars drifted from his hands, drifted down and settled into his wounds, the injuries knitted closed and the pain left him. Woozy from loss of blood, the bandit groaned and rolled over on his back. His guts did not pool around them, and he tried not to think of how the spell had fixed that injury.

"When you're done getting sick, there's a closet on the west wall, inside you'll find a mop, some soap, and there's a sink for water in the medical station three doors down the hall on your right hand side. Use it."

The smell of blood, gasses from his stomach cavity, lightning, scorched flesh, sweat and pain hit him like a hammer. Z'eh groaned, and couldn't help himself. He started puking up his guts. Yuan watched the show for a moment, then opened the door and then closed it behind him.

X

"Yuan… you smell bad." Rene sniffed the air and the Seraph looked at her, his icy eyes unchanging, distant, and cool as they always were.

"Try walking around outside hunting bandits and tell me how you smell afterwards." Yuan grunted. "Now," He took his seat across from her, glanced at the open book in front of Rene, and knew its contents in a glance. He had read it five hundred and six years ago, had finished it in the span of three days. He smiled, recalled the satisfaction of having three days of interrupted reading. But then even to a seraph that didn't sleep or eat a five thousand page book that was actually published and pleasant reading was something like mana from the heavens. "We were on the Olaf uprising, why are you reading the section preceding it?"

"It's a lot to remember Yuan, there were so many acts and atrocities that happened and… well it's hard to imagine that people would do this because the Angels told them to..."

"Not everyone has your knowledge Rene, don't forget that. Here, in this place we may speak freely of what we know, outside, among outsiders, we are loyal, faithful worshipers of Martel."

Rene moaned. "I hate acting stupid…. But I guess that means we have to do the holidays, right?"

"Ummm…" Yuan blinked.

"It was mid spring in Ozette… so that would make it mid autumn here…" Rene hedged. Not understanding Yuan just stared at her. She must be getting used to his stares, or learning how to read them, because she sighed. "You don't know the holidays, do you Yuan?"

"I didn't make them, Kratos did."

"Well… Autumn's Feast is coming." Rene told him. "Have you ever been to an autumn's feast before?"

"No, I spent most of my time reading…" _and mourning, Kratos walked among the mortals, showed an interest, I just cut myself off because I could barely deal with making it through a day much less interacting with anyone else_. "In Derris Kharlan, we all spent a lot of our time reading and learning, studying, it helped us after we all got sick. It kept us busy."

"Were… all the angels like you? People, I mean?"

"Once, yes, they were people." Yuan sighed. "An angel exists in one of two ways. He is either awake of asleep. An asleep angel… doesn't have a soul, a mind, or a memory. The Lord of Heaven becomes their mind, their voices, and their words echo his thoughts, echo parts of his mind. They are pale, paler then even I am, there eyes are black, iris and pupil… there is no way to distinguish between the two. Awake angels are rare, the Lord of Heaven is the most powerful, there are a few angels; mainly the newly made ones, who are awake, but they fall asleep in a few decades. The only other awake angels that I know won't fall asleep in a few decades are myself, our Lord, and Derris fa Sith."

"The angel of death, the plague bringer, the…"

"They're still calling him that?" Yuan sighed, forcing himself to inject a note of humor into his voice. Though her thoughtless _trained_ terror really made his blood slow and clot as if it turned to ice. He must break her of these misperceptions about Cruxis as fast as he could. He'd shaken her faith of the angel's purity, now he had to work away her idea of omnipotence.

Rene nodded, her eyes wide, scared.

"Rene, we wouldn't give him the power to plague or bring woe and fiery death to anyone because Kratos wouldn't know where to point it."

"You mean… he's stupid?" She didn't believe it, and Yuan felt his lips curl ever so slightly.

"Well, not exactly… but you give that human a magical power and he plays with it for months at a time. I know for a fact he spent two straight years flying through Sylvarant and Tethe'alla. And he acts serious and somber and gripes and grouses but anytime someone says "I need something delivered" he draws his wings and flies it to wherever it needs to go. And you should have seen him after we granted him basic spells, he fireballed everything he saw. Trees, monsters, innocent bystanders… But then… he was drunk when he scorched those people…"

Rene giggled. "He sounds silly."

"He's a silly hyper drunk, that or he turns violent; it depends why he was drinking in the first place. Generally he's somber, serious, and obsessed with getting the job done. The words, "humor", "happiness", and "lighten up", have yet to register with him."

Rene giggled and Yuan forced his smile to go as wide as it would have when he was happy long ago. With her laughter and smile as a guide he found it was less of a trial then he imagined it would be.

When the time seemed right he reached out, touched the book whose pages he could vaguely feel, and that was prompt enough. She turned it over in her hands and read to him, while she read his mind ran 'round and 'round, something gnawed at the edges of his understanding, and idea that would not come out just yet.

X

"Get up."

Z'eh moaned.

"Now."

A foot prodded him; he grunted, went with the hit and stared up at his tormentor with hate in his eyes.

"Good." Icy eyes met his, satisfaction glinting in their snowy depths. "Again."

Slowly the Bandit got to his feet, he stared at Yuan. The black cape had been tossed to the floor, discarded, the man only wore a white long sleeve shirt, a red vest that hung over that had come open during the fight and bore the marks of a few lucky sword slashes. Besides that the man wore a pair of tight black pants that sported one cut which ran down his thigh. Z'eh was in similar shape, save that red stained the gashes that ran along his clothes.

"To Hell with this shit!" He ripped off the stifling steel helmet, helm went one way, sword the other. "You vulking bastard! I'm not going to be your damned target one second longer!"

And to Z'eh's shock the man's lips curled on one side, a flash of white on one sideo f his mouth.

_Heh… no fangs, that's a shock_.

"How long have you endured this Hell, Mer. Z'eh?" Yuan asked, using the Tethe'allan version of "sir".

It was a reminder; Yuan never forgot the past, probably rejoiced in seeing Z'eh's one second of weakness. Shaking with rage, wanting to do nothing more then charge ahead and go for the man's throat, Z'eh snarled a few expletives in elvish.

Yuan didn't even blink at insults that most men couldn't even stomach. Z'eh met those eyes, his body quaking with the need to kill, to wipe this piece of scum from the earth.

"It's been a month." Yuan answered his own question. "One month. I've kicked you while you are down, beaten you to near death every morning, before breakfast. Then I leave you to clean up the mess. I make you wallow in your failure, rub your face in it."

"Too long…" Z'eh rasped. "For too damn long."

"Agreed."

Z'eh blinked, stared at the man, not too sure he'd heard right.

"Too damned long, you've mutely taken the lash and haven't done a damn thing. Oh, you've cursed me, but what purpose do curses do? They are thrashings, empty words, not action. Now you act. Now I ask, now what?"

"Now… what?" Z'eh repeated stupidly.

"You can't kill me; I hope you've learned _that_ by now at the very least."

"I'm not stupid!" Z'eh roared.

Yuan only raised an eyebrow, his expression saying louder then words that he thought about that.

"Maybe… I'm not as smart as you, but…"

"I've been manipulating you for over a month and you haven't realized it, does that sound like the actions of an intelligent man to you, to allow himself to be manipulated?"

Z'eh only fell into furious silence, his hands clenched into fists. Bored, Yuan looked at the man's fists, then to his red splotchy face.

"I played on your pride, your arrogance."

The words cut through the rage, brought a chill down his back at the clinical tone Yuan used.

"I challenged you, called you weaker, a child's ploy. You fell for that, not once, but four times."

Yuan took a step forward, picked up his cloak from the floor, he unlaced the black strings then slipped the thing around his throat and began to tie the threads up, absently weaving the strings so they looked to be a complex pattern that ran along a pale white collar. There was no collar, the blue haired man's skin was so pale if could have passed for cotton some days. As he worked, he continued his speech. All in that same detached tone.

"Then I played on your arrogance, insulted you in your face while you writhed in pain. Your thoughtless rage brought you to your feet to continue when a wiser man would have stayed down. I hit every nerve, again and again. I spurred your thoughtless rage, your fury, your pride, until you abandoned them. You actually are showing rudimental signs of caution, congratulations, you _can_ think."

And thinking Z'eh was… the way Yuan was talking. Was there a point to this, some reason? His anger left him, even his fear, as he looked into that dead still face. He'd thought that the man did this because the Desian had hated him, hell it was enough of a reason for Z'eh to have done it if positions were reversed…

"So, I ask one final time, now what?"

"You want me to think, why?"

"Gross stupidity annoys me."

He should have seen that one, he walked right into it.

"What's your angle?"

Yuan blinked, a small line appeared on his face, a thin line that broke the distant perfection of the man's visage.

"You make me think, you make me stop being so chicken shit around you by pissing me off," He smirked, pleased that he'd caught onto Yuan's sick game. "No one does nothing without angling it to their own ends. No one, not even you."

"I don't have a reason, not a long term one." Yuan admitted with a shrug. "Short term, I have a multitude of them. Fighting you breaks the dull monotony of my existence, it gives me something of a challenge every day, it also gives Rene some time to herself, and it makes you a passable bodyguard for her when I leave in a few weeks. I'm… going to be shopping for something called an _autumn fest_, and not doing so will lead to some form of unspecified torture..." Yuan shrugged, turned his back on the bandit. "I wasn't joking when I said bandit attacks in swarms here, the place generally gets over ran, the only reason we are getting any slack is because of the monsoon. In another two weeks the ground will dry out and you'll see what it's like when that happens. Perhaps now that you know the difference between one end of your short sword and the other you won't find the experience a fatal one. I think, since you have questions and are not acting, that I will leave you to your thoughts. Enjoy thinking Z'eh, do good at it and you might figure out the greatest lie in all the worlds..."

"She knows, your kid, she knows this _lie_ of yours..."

"You've called me a demon before," Yuan said slowly. "-you might not know just how close you are to being right… for once."

And with that he reached the door, and closed it behind him.

"Damn bastard, always has to get the damned last word in."


	13. Blankie

_AN: A humor chapter with some bitter sweet at the end. Things are going to get dark soon, Rene's going to start growing up, so I thought, why not have her, and Z'eh, do something incredibly stupid while they have youth as an excuse. There's also a fluff chapter coming up as well, and then I'll get to the meat of the story._

Chapter 13

Blankie

"_I don't know what made me allow Anna to talk me into learning how to sing… It didn't help that there was a certain dog who was also whining about how bored he was and getting into trouble trying to satiate it when I didn't cave in right at first. But as time passed and I pursued the activity and mixed my angelic mana into it –there fore stumbling on the arcane feat that I grudgingly call "holy song"- that I came to realize something. A bored mortal is one thing; a pissed off, bored, immortal is a thousand times worse. If nothing else, we have had more time to think up wild stunts and less consequence attached to us since we can't get hurt. I can't say that the Desian's in the way of my spell didn't become hurt… but then I really didn't care for them at the moment. Actually, on foresight, I don't care for them, period."_

_Kratos Aurion_

"I did not agree to this…" Yuan hissed, his black cape snapping behind him as he paced around the room. Feeling small, insignificant, and –strangely- shamed, Z'eh opened his mouth, and then closed it as those icy eyes locked on him. For being a cold distant bastard Yuan was being very uh… normal today. "I did not agree to take in _two_ children after I was done scraping you off the floor and mending your wounds! I should kill you!"

Wow… Yuan was… screaming, Yuan never screamed.

Z'eh tapped his finger tips together, found the display fascinating, and the blue haired man paced around the room like a deranged panther or something.

"What. Were. You. _Thinking_."

"Well… you see… I just gotta say…" Z'eh scratched at the back of his head, tugged at one of the pink ribbons that were laced through his black close cropped hair. "Never underestimate a person when they get bored."

X

"I'm bored…' Rene, generally a smart, quiet kid was suffering. Z'eh looked up from one of the books he'd been "reading". Since Yuan was gone and not beating the crap out of him every morning when he was there, he'd found the same ailment nibbling at him. Generally the blue haired half elf could find something that needed doing, and went out of his way to entertain Rene. So while he was unhappy, and she happy, boredom rarely was a problem for either of them as _Blue Hair_ –how Z'eh mentally addressed Yuan- kept them too busy to get bored.

Now Yuan was gone, they were alone in one of the desert bases libraries, and Rene was sick and tired of reading and he was sick and tired of pretending to read.

And the pictures, few and far between, were generally diagrams, and it was all so boring. He sighed, rolled over so he was on his back.

"One… two…"

"What are you doing?"

"Counting ceiling tile, plate, things kid, lotsa fun…"

Rene groaned. "Boredom's boring."

"What'd you think… its fun to be bored, kid?"

"No." Rene scooted her chair around and gave him a strange look.

"I know, I have it, I'll go get my box!"

"Wha… whatever kid." Z'eh yawned, went back to counting tiles.

He should have known what her evil giggle meant trouble.

X

"I found you sleeping _under_ a mattress, under two mattresses turned into a mockery of a tent, care to explain why you felt it was appropriate to rip apart _my_ ranch to loot all the mattresses and blankets to make a maze out of the damn combat training room?"

"Well…" Z'eh smiled. "Umm the ranch next door was kinda not accommodating."

Yuan's hands sank into his shoulders like icy talons, having fought the man Z'eh knew that he was luck both shoulders weren't ground to powder under that grasp.

"You did _not_ go to the Iselian ranch."

"N… no sir…" Z'eh squeaked. "It was a joke!"

He was released, and Z'eh sighed in relief.

He sighed too soon, Yuan's normally pale face was crimson, his hands clenched spasmodically.

"Do you know how many days it's going to take, how much water it's going to waste, to laundry every blanket and sheet in this fortress? And why the _Hell_ was my blanket for my bed ripped in half?"

"Ummm… long story that…"

X

"Blarg!"

"Epp! Wind blade!"

Z'eh took the small hits good naturedly, bowled the green haired kid over and she squeaked, fell into the mattress turned wall, Z'eh landed on top of her.

"Grr.."

He chucked off the blanket cover that he'd worn as the "monster" and after a second of tickling let her go to pick it up.

"No!"

Too late, he'd sacked her, easy as pie. Whistling he slung the makeshift sack over his shoulder, wondered what to do with his loot, and then with a shrug just wandered the maze the kid had drawn –and they'd made just for the heck of it- huh… the place was confusing. Great, another dead end…

There was a rip and he staggered forward as the thing that fell behind him with a soft thump, kicked at the back of his leg.

He fell on his face, taking down a wall, something small, topped in green (and a few other wild colors running through the green part) hopped over his head.

"I see Yuan trained you…" Z'eh grunted, lifting his head so he wasn't kissing mat.

"Hee hee… Of course he did."

"Well…" Z'eh growled, pulling himself to his feet. "He trained me too!"

Z'eh drew his short sword and Rene rolled her eyes. She was twelve, a green haired squirt, probably half his size, and she wasn't scared of him at all. OK, Yuan had to have trained her, no one didn't get that smug arrogant "I'm better then you" smirk down right without Master Blue Hair giving a few pointers.

She squeaked, seeing the silver light crawling up his blade, made a turn, and the demon fang smashed into one of the mattresses, throwing feathers into the air and the mattress went sailing and cut a clear path to… to the exit! Thank Marte-

_Splat_

Z'eh yalped as icy water got him in the back, how'd that runt sneak behind him… unless she had the whole maze memorized or something…

"Hey!"

She bolted.

"Get back here!"

"Not a chance!"

X

"Do you know how much Gald it costs to buy mattresses in this world, and forgetting the mattresses Mer. Z'eh, should I mention the food you spoiled by forgetting to re-charge the mana reactor when it went out?"

"I told you, I'm a _water_ magi, can't even touch lightning, and I'm not much of a water magi anyways." Z'eh growled, bowed his ribbon covered head and let out a sigh.

"Well then… why didn't you have the sense to contact me, I left the damned communicator…"

"Which was ran by the mana reactor…" Z'eh pointed out.

Yuan gritted his teeth then let out a deep breath as he realized that the bandit was right and he could do nothing about it.

"You left Rene in the dark, for twelve hours…" Yuan hissed. "The base could have been attacked, even humans aren't as stupid as to realize the portent of all the lights being out…"

"Not my fault." Z'eh smirked, ran a hand through is now spiky ribbon stuffed hair.

"If she was scared for even a minute of that time…" Yuan threatened, his voice was a silken hiss.

"I kept her occupied." Z'eh promised with a smile. "She wasn't scared at all, on m' honor."

"Bandits have honor?" Yuan snarled.

"Hey, I owe your kid, you not understand that? I owe your kid, and I like her, unlike you, you bastard. I wouldn't do nothing to that poor kid. Hell, her life's probably scary enough since she has to deal with you all the time."

Yuan grunted, but did not argue Z'eh statement at all.

X

"Dog?"

"Damn…" Z'eh knew what was coming; he scrunched up his eyes even as the brush went over his face.

"Okay, my turn, what's this one?"

"Err…spider?"

"Nope."

The brush went across his face again.

Make-up shadow shape guess was not fun. Since Rene couldn't see what she was doing and he wondered if his face was covered in khol, his eyes with blush, his lips with green lipstick, or something even more horrible that he couldn't imagine…

There was a hiss… a door slid open, in the quiet humless silence that the ranch now had in it since the power had gone out it was thunderous.

"What the Hell… Rene… what's going on in here?"

"Ummm…" She damped the fire spell, but Yuan had stepped into the room, he'd seen Rene's handy work by the last departing bit of red light. "We were just playing?"

Yuan's eyes were the only source of light in the room, and they blazed an intent purple, but Z'eh could have sworn that lost in that purple halo that now surrounded both of the man's eyes was a tiny spark of red.

X

"Two hundred pounds of food, spoiled. Three mattresses, maimed. My blanket, which you not only ripped in half but you stole…"

"Man, you're flipping over that blanket, sure it aien't your _blankie_?"

Yuan twitched and Z'eh barely scrambled out of the way of the answering lightning bolt.

"Don't you ever imply that I use baby talk, or that I demean myself by wallowing in such juvenile attitudes as possessiveness over a material object!"

Not understanding a word of that, Z'eh just nodded.

Yuan jerked, stopped mid furious lecture and then took a deep breath. A second later the door on the other side of the room hissed opened. Rene came in, her small face a little pale, obvious black rings under her eyes. Wordlessly she walked up to Yuan and offered him the long white fabric that trailed behind her.

"I ripped the blanket when me and Z'eh-"

"Z'eh and I." Yuan growled, and again the bandit had to wonder "what kind of guy talks like that?" but Rene smiled a wan little smile in response to the strange statement that he only kind of understood.

"I ripped the blanket when _Z'eh and I_ was playing, I'm sorry."

"It's alright…" Yuan's tone twisted became bitter. "Considering, it's more of a cosmetic piece for that part of my room."

Rene giggled at the word "cosmetic" and pointedly did not look at Z'eh. When the lights had come back on the bandit had gone to the bathroom to find a black stripe running down his nose, whatever the black stuff was, water didn't make it go away, and rubbing at it only smeared it onto his hands. Yuan actually smiled at Rene, ran a hand through her hair, and then looked at the bandit. For one second his eyes were not ice, but summer sky, endless, warm, and welcoming. Then the ice went over it in a heartbeat.

"You'll be cleaning up after the mess." Yuan picked up the blanket, said nothing of the jagged zig zag line of thread that held the halves together. He thanked Rene for sewing it up, and then tucked it under his arm. "You both will be."

"Yuan!" Rene whined.

"You both made the mess, you both clean it up. It's only just. And… Rene, you will tell that man how to clean that black stuff off his nose. It's distracting as all Hell."

And with that he left the room, taking his _blankie_ with him.

X

While Rene and Z'eh went to the long strenuous task of cleaning up after their play Yuan sighed. Bored mortals were dangerous, and that was something Mithos' precious "Church of Martel" could never fix. Not unless Yggdrasil planed on killing _everyone_. Yuan unfurled the blanket, stared at the pink zig-zag that ran across massive tear in his blanket, and then he folded it… And just like he suspected, the blanket tried to come apart. He sighed; Rene's sewing was almost as bad as her cooking. The blanket, if he ever needed to use it, was completely unsuitable for its original purpose. Still… it wasn't worthless. He bundled it up, passed by his long writing desk, the door that was made to match the featureless steel walls of his office, hissed open before he had touched it. He walked to the bare warp room and endured the wonderful experience of having his physical mater shift, twist, become pure mana, then feel himself flow across the channels of the location runes setting put into the disk. The world that had faded into a pastel pulsating haze burst forth into all its solid material existence with a flash of blinding light. He winced, a marked improvement from the first time when he'd curled up in a ball and gotten ill. Certainly better then the time when Kratos had fallen to the floor and suffered from a violent seizure as his newly born magi senses had tried to overthrow his sanity.

He tightened his grip on the blanket; the tingle of its dead softness was enough to keep him from being locked into his mind. Silence, blessed silence soothed his ears. The only noise was the drawing of his breath, and he stilled that, allowed the quiet, painless, almost lightless chamber, to reach him. To take away the agony of the mortal world, of Yggdrasil's immortal world, and in that primitive shadow he was soothed. Here, there were a few marks of a mortal's existence. A bed in the corner, a dresser besides the feather mattress, someone had been in here –probably Rene, he didn't see Z'eh as being brave enough- and she'd taken the blanket and left everything else alone. He could see in this midnight gloom, proof of his theory. A tiny boot print, a half formed mark in the soft sand of his cavern; he smiled at it, carefully walked past the mark so not to smear it out. He would of course put a new password –hopefully one Rene couldn't catch onto- but that was for later...

He would break the silence for a few moments, first with words… then depending on the words with other means. He walked to the wall, the one that was opposite of his bed, here, in this chamber that was large, yet not large enough to echo, there was only one thing upon the wall. It was sacred, holy, part of his private religion, the last remains of his faith. He set aside the blanket, reached up for the silvery silk he'd put over It, and after a moments hesitation tugged the cloth aside.

Silk spilled past him, slid through his numb fingers, as for the first time in a thousand years he looked into Her eyes.

"Mer Derris…"

_My most holy…_

He reached out, with a shaking hand stroked the canvas. His power, long ago had preserved it, prevented decay, it could have been painted yesterday instead of two thousand and fifty years ago.

"_Kratos, it's too much!" Martel had laughed, staring at the painting that Kratos had arranged to have made. It was beautiful, her down to the last detail, and even as Martel protested it was too much, the blue haired half elf found it to be just right._

"_It's custom… one of the few good customs of my people." The quiet mercenary said in his somber voice. "When wed, the... how do you term it in Tethe'alla? The Sylvarant term's so much more complicated…"_

"_Always looking for the easy way out, eh merc?"_

"_Yuan, shut up." Kratos mock growled._

_Martel laughed, ribbed Yuan and waited for her friend to continue._

"_Best man… I think that's what they call it? Anyways, the closest male friend of the couple makes an object or -as is in my case since I can't to anything but rip things apart with my hands- arranges something of exquisite beauty to be given to the couple. Separate gifts that are compatible are, for one day, gifted to each person. Then the giver takes them back, and using pieces of each merges them together into something that is presented to the couple upon their wedding day."_

"_So where's mine?" Yuan smirked, nestling into Martel's embrace. She giggled and snuggled and Kratos looked nauseous._

"_Really Kratos, find someone of your own and I bet you'll be as bad."_

"_Physical…. Contact…" Kratos shuddered. "Shadow preserve me."_

"_Careful!" Martel giggled. "You never know, Shadow might want to see you snuggle up with someone and arrange it."_

"_That Gnome, the juvenile minded God of Earth and the more –shall I call it- base aspects of human nature."_

"_And loyalty, strength, stubbornness…" Martel snickered._

"_And Loooove." Yuan dragged out the word and Kratos growled. _

"_I remember that mole pointed to you both and screamed "my match maker streak isn't broke yet, boh ya, blue eyes! Shove that pessimism, shove it hard!" Before disappearing."_

"_And then Mithos refused to summon Gnome for a month after that." Martel chimed in._

"_Can we not talk about that?" Yuan blushed. "Every noble in Tethe'alla heard that, even the king and high priest..."_

_Kratos actually laughed, it wasn't as rare a sound as it had been once before… but it was still an uncommon sight for the ex-brigand to actually laugh in public._

"_To answer your question, it will take three months for Yuan's painting to be finished, you are still going to be wed next spring?"_

"_Yes." Martel's green eyes had an over bright glint that vaguely reminded Yuan of his Love's "Old Book Mania". "Oh yes. We have a lot of preparations to be made."_

"_Don't worry though." Yuan added over his soon to be wife's shoulder. "We've decided on the menu Kratos, so it won't take us that long."_

"_And we've figured the attendants garments as well." Martel added._

"_What was it, my love, tight pink breeches with over lapping hose for the men, with short sleeve rose covered tunics?" Yuan asked, nuzzling his lover's neck. _

"_Mm hmm… And spaghetti for dinner with those cute little grape tomatoes as a side." _

_Kratos went white… then green around the cheeks and he bolted._

"_That was evil, Yuan, pink beeches and hose!" Martel squeaked, mock rapping him on the head._

"_The tomato comment was golden."_

_Martel cocked her head to the side, considered it._

"_It was wasn't it?"_

_They laughed, then he offered her his arm and she took it, they had much to do, so little time to do it, but the time was not right for them to begin. For now being together would suffice, preparations could wait for another day…_

He sighed, gently kissed the painting, as though his caress would somehow reach the sleeping spirit that hung suspended between the split worlds. Her slumber must be uneasy, as she was enclosed in a bitter wooden prison, soul lost in the morass of contained chaos of life, death, and the threads of mana that overlapped in the worlds' heart.

"Beloved…" He ached for her touch, for her to kiss him, run her hand through his hair.

A touch… that because of what he was he would barely feel. A kiss that would be so gentle against his skin that if would be as nothing…

Yet it would be everything, just to have her back, to hear her laughter once more, to hold her...

"You… don't mind what I've done… do you? Taking the child, and bandit? I couldn't let Mithos kill her, and the bandit… well that was out of my hands." He admitted with a dry twist of his lips. "But you don't mind, what I've done, I haven't hurt anyone with this, have I?"

She could no longer speak; her laughing eyes and bright smile, she was a picture of hope, of his hope, but she could no longer offer him an answer now. He had to find his own answers now. He traced the line of her jaw, cursed in his heart how it was only a black line upon the canvas. He ached, once more, for her arms around his shoulders, for her quiet voice to murmur into his pointed ears.

She had always liked to play with his ears…

Suddenly the image of Rene, standing on her tip toes, face pale, sunken, poking at his ears… The image was sharp, vivid, burned into his mind with the intensity that only a Seraph could endure.

_They are my ears, child, and they don't appreciate being poked…_

He chuckled, and for a heartbeat could almost hear her soft laughter, could feel her hand close over his…

"Then it's decided." He nodded; yes it had been decided, decided long ago, perhaps even before he'd drawn his wings and flown across the night sky in Tethe'alla. "But… do I have to keep the damn bandit?"

"_Do we have to keep him Martel?" Mithos whined, jerking his head to indicate the sleeping brigand. "He's huuuman… and icky, and he smells bad."_

"_He's violent." Yuan pointed out. "Racist, and stupid, I say we drive him off."_

"_No." Martel gave both young men a sharp look. "He's not an animal, he may be crude, harsh, and a bit mean spirited, but he's a person. We shouldn't abandon him."_

"_Thank you so very _very_ much." Rasped an exhausted voice, they turned in shock to see that Kratos was wide awake. "Next time we run into wolves your endearing comments will warm my heart and encourage me to protect you with more zeal."_

"_Ummm… opps…" Mithos squeaked._

"_It wasn't an accident, its how you feel, opps doesn't fit this situation." Kratos shrugged, and then snuggled against his blankets. "I might not be the only racist person present."_

_Martel blushed and Kratos let out a dry bark that might have been laughter had it possessed any cheer._

"_Ms. Yggdrasil, you are clean of any of that taint, it's your companions that should look shamed, not you."_

"It's not fair…" Yuan growled, slumping against the wall to indulge in a moments pouting. "I don't want to deal with that annoying, arrogant, under trained, brat."

But then life wasn't fair.

Yuan sighed. Yes, life wasn't fair, it never was, it never had been, and it never would be. He picked up Rene's crudely stitched blanket, and then stared into her eyes for a long moment. With one final kiss he settled the blanket over her image, the last image of her to exist in either world and in the icy hell of Derris Kharlan. Not even Mithos knew of the pictures existence, and so long as he lived Mithos _never_ would know about it. Whining brat would demand it; take it, as he'd taken everything else…

"Rest well Love, you'll be back soon, I promise, the pain will stop. But until then, sleep well, and be warm."

He smoothed the blanket, being careful –the thing was rather fragile after all- as he tucked the painting in as lovingly as he would have tucked her in had she been before him.


	14. Raising

Chapter 14

"_And so I lay my body to sleep, I close my eyes; foreswear my soul the Goddess' to keep…"_

Fragment of a child's prayer, Book of Regeneration

A_/N: Yeah… I'm back… kinda. Anyway I hope to get another chapter up today, we'll see how it pans out, I'm only averaging one day a week... which kinda bites, but ah well, when things get better I'll be online more. Chapter motivated by the you tube movie by KratosLover1 titled "Real Angels of TOS", I love that movie and it kicked me out of my writers block after I saw it. I know you're reading "Shards" Kratos Lover, but if you read this, thanks for the hand!_

Raising

Rene sniffed the air. The smell of gravy, potatoes, and roasted chicken made her mouth water, the sights of the food she smelled just mere inches away was too much. She reachedout for the food once again, and then brought her fingers to her mouth and sucked on the small burn that the thin stream of lightning had left on her creeping fingers.

"Rene," Yuan's eyes glinted with humor. "Leave the potatoes alone. Mer Z'eh, has not concluded his prayers over our dinner."

"But...!"

Yuan only gave her a long look and she sighed and grumbled a few not so nice things about lightning magi. She knew he'd hear every word, she meant him to hear every word, and picked out some of the nastiest words she could make in angelic and used some of her worst grammar. And Yuan glared and writhed, and dared do nothing to her because if he disrupted the "ritual". Well if Z'eh thought them both "unfaithful" that would be bad, it would… how had Yuan put it? "Potentially upset the already flawed foundation which Z'eh used to maintain mental stability" something like that, whatever it meant. Why foundations and Z'eh had to keep her from the mashed potatoes though….

There was another sizzle of lightning mana, Yuan put one finger to the steel table and sent out another thread of electricity across the decorative steel pattern that ran across the white stone. Yalping, loud enough to shake Z'eh out from his prayers, Rene made a thin watery smile curl her lips.

"I singed my hands on the plate." Rene shook her hands then blew the abused tips of her fingers.

Yuan smirked, pleased with her tact, and his fingers twined together to make a roof over the false chapel of his hands. He closed his summer sky colored eyes, bowed his head so that his hair fell over his face and obscured his expression, every motion mimed those of a devout Martel worshiper, and with a sigh Rene muttered a quiet spell to heal her hands and bowed her head, taking a simular pose.

"_Mer cor us'il, Yuan_." Rene grumbled into her hands.

In reply, Yuan firmly kicked her chair. She winced at the jolt, and then quieted down. If she was nice, maybe she would get to eat, but if she kept being bad...

She cracked an eye open to guage Yuan's mood, he was definatly not happy,but he wasn't so mad that he was going to make her skip dessert... Not yet anyways.

Yes, it was definatly time to play nice.She closed her eyes and scrunched her face up to pray to whatever gods were listening that Yuan didn't get too mad. After all she didn't want to miss the promisedblue berry pie.

X

Yuan rolled his eyes, but offered his hand and Rene's small fingers slipped around his own.

"You are a very messy little girl." Yuan sighed as he lead her to the bathroom so that she could clean off the mess of sticky blue that was all over her face. "I take it your forehead was hungry as well."

"Hmmm..." Sleepy, full, and content, this child was a better picture of true angelic beauty then any of the falsity that Cruxis could ever pump out. She looked up at him with slightly dazed green eyes, and the Seraph smirked and ruffled her silken locks. Then he pulled a hankerchief from his pocket (a mortal nicety that he found he needed more often then not withsuch a smallchildunder foot) and whiped her forehead. Yuan whiped away the blue goop that had somehow found it's way to make a third eye on her forehead.

"Never mind."

He said those words not to silence the childish explaination, no, he would have -much to his own shock he discovered- liked to listen to whatever her young mind would forge as an excuse or as a story to explain the strange blue spot. He stoped her, silenced her from the all too real fear that she'd fall asleep on him.

"I thought children your age got sugar rush." Yuan murmurred.

"Mother used to say..." Rene yawned. "That elves get sleepy when they eat sweet stuff, and I'm more elf then hu-" She yawned again and Yuan chuckled.

"I was much the same when I was your age." He opened the door to the bases' privy room and ushered her inside. "Clean up, you're a mess Imp, then ..." Her green eyes sparkled with curiosity and he smiled for being able to see that curiosity. She never showed what she was thinking to Z'eh, at least not everything, he took comfort in that. "If you're awake enough I'll tell you a few stories about how things were when I was your age."

"You mean when dragons walked across the earth?"

"I am not _that_ old." Yuan growled. "Now in, clean up."

"Yes, Sir." Rene rolled her eyes and Yuan growled something about sarcastic little girls getting zapped. She ignored him, like always, and closed the door. From the noises within, she was playing with the faucey, and he sighed, children, and thier games. The world was a game to children, they made their world -no matter how bitter, how empty- as fun as they could.

Yuan jolted out of his thoughts as the door hissed open, and the giggle was warning enough that he looked up... and recieved a dose of what was probably icy cold water right in the face.He winced at the sensation of the water sluggishly sliding down his face, tried to scowl, but the sensation was so damned distrating that he cringed and had to wipe at the liquid just to make the feeling go away.

The door hissed closed, then clicked as it was locked from the inside.

"Rene..." Yuan growled, "You will open this door, _right_ now young lady."

Her only answer was what he was begining to think of as her "evil giggle".

"Damn it, Rene!" Yuan snarled, punching the magi-tech steel. "Open the door!"

"Make me."

"I swear I'll Indignation Judgment the door if I have to..." Yuan clenched his black gloved hands and then forced them to relax, trying not to will lightining to form around his fingers and batter down the door with raw untamed shards of Volt. "You will not want to be in that room when I count to three Imp. One..."

The door unclicked, hissed open, and Rene ran so fast she was all but a green blur. What the hell had happened to her sleepiness... Then he remembered, remembered that time two thousand and some odd years ago when he and Martel had slipped into a bakery and had eaten a whole apple pie. Exhaution, lethargy as the elvish blood tried to absorb the surpluss of sugar then... Then almost like flicking a magi light switch, energy, boundless energy as human blood surged to the surface and caught the sugar and set a fire in the mind and limbs that was best called "sugar sillyness".

"Oh, by Kratos' twisted pantheon..." Yuan looked at his ward, at his hyper sugar intoxicated ward and put a hand to his throbing temples while Rene ran around like an over exsited hyper child that... she was... "She'll outgrow this." He muttered to himself, or perhaps for once he was praying that she would. Yuan watched in numb horrer as she zipped around the room. Then she was behind him, there was a tug on his cape...

"Can't catch me!"

Rene ran off, and his cape went with her.

"What the Hell..." Z'eh poked his head out fromhis room down the hall, he looked at the giggling green haired child then looked at his "Master", his dark eyes clearly puzzled.

"Don't ask, just get back to whatever you were doing!" Yuan snarled, then strod after the child, purple lightning crackling around his hands. "Must not kill Tethe'alla's Chosen." He growled, banishing the lightining with a great force of will. "It's my fault, I gave her the pie, I shouldn't have, I should have known better..."

"Yuaaaan!"

The Seraph followed the mocking voice, turned a corner and froze when eh saw that she'd somehow put the cape on. Despite himself he smirked. It was far too short for her, almost a fourth of the black fabric dragged on the steel floor, and he had to admit the black clashed outragously with the white shirt and pants that she was so fond of wearing. She had worked her hair into a hastily raised pony tail and crossed her arms in front of ehr chest. He stare at her, head tiped to the side as she walked up to him using a bizzare step that might have been considered regal in her sugar clouded mind.

"There you are Rene!" She snapped up at him, trying to make her voice as husky and deep as his, and faild miserably on both counts. "Go do something you hate, like practice magic or read boring history books, being miserable makes you smart!"

From behind him Z'eh began to snickure. "That's _one _damn sarcastic kid your raising."

Yuan whirled on his heal, without the cape swirling behind him however the gestures dramatic value was greatly reduced. He reached up with one black gloved hand and glared. It wasn't quite up to par to say Krato's "make rocks curl up and die" glare, but then the effect might have been ruined by the fact that half his face was obscured by his long blue locks. Still, his ice blue eyes turned to slits, malicious intent licked upon the shattered ice like fire light would lick the edges of a broken glaciar, and Z'eh had the sense to grip the hilt of his sword and look worried.

"I am not raising a sarcastic..." Yuan snapped.

"Then who is?"

The bandit's face looked more vulpine when he bared his teeth in a grin and scrunched up his eyes with whicked mirth, obviously a foot gave the mana a _very_ false sense of security. Lightning crackled around the Seraph's fingers, and the ex-bandit went pale and decided to find somewhere else to go at a dead run. Dead man's run... Yuan toyed with the idea of casting the bolt, but in the end -with only a slight grunt of discomfort as he reabsorbed the raw mana-Yuan clenched his fingers. Lightning sputtered between his fingers, the raw force of the spell made his arm spasm and he caught the scent of burnt leatherglove as black smokewafted between his fingers. He shook his hand out to dispell the last annoying tinlges, then he grimly marched after his charge.

"You are in trouble young lady!" Yuan snarled, his mind scrambled franticly as he strove to recall how Martel would punish Mithos when the brat was acting more annoying then usual. "Y... you're going to be _grounded_ if you don't give me my cape in five seconds!"

And there was the quandry, he had to hope that Rene would be able to override her sugar induced silliness, because if she didn't give him back his cape he was going to have to think up some type of punishment that was vaugly grounding-esk.


	15. relative mortality

Defiance of the Renegades

Chapter 15

Relative Mortality

It's in peace that we find ourselves, in war we confirm, but in peace we forge ourselves of truth, in inaction what action we chose to fill the spare time between conflict... that's the "true" you, the one born in peace.

Kratos Aurion

"And you're autumn's feast, was it acceptable?"

The green haired child nodded, lay her head on his shoulder as he gently carried her back to his office. She yawned sleepily, and while it might have been more appropriate to let Z'eh perhaps escort her back to her room... Yuan's office was closer, and he did not mind carrying the Chosen of Tethe'alla in his arms. She mumbled something -probably an affirmative- and he smiled as he felt her long green locks brush the back of his neck. Her heart beat was slowing, he could feel it through what little skin he touched while holding her.

"It's the first time I've ever hosted some sort of celebration." Yuan confided the now sleeping child. "It's good to know that it went over well."

Since Rene was sleeping she could not respond, but honestly, he didn't expect a reply.

Laying the child on his bed the Seraph tucked her in and pulled the green locks away from Rene's peaceful face. At least in sleep there was no hate, no discrimination. He smiled, kissed the child on her fore head, then went to the door and flipped the small switch he had installed himself. The magi lights hummed, then dimmed, slowly the light fell to the artificial night.

"Rest well Rene."

X

Z'eh looked up owlishly from the wine glass he'd been emptying, stared numbly at the blue haired half elf as he entered the dinning room. The bandit could almost see the ice forming in those blue eyes, could almost feel it. Z' eh shuddered and took the last of his wine in one toss.

"You do understand that your foray into over indulgence will have consequences come the morning."

"I feel damn good now." Z'eh smirked up at the ghostly half elf.

"You'll feel like Hell in the morning." Yuan noted. "Just don't wallow in your wine to the point you die."

"Like you give a damn."

"I don't, she does." Yuan said over his shoulder, he walked to the place where Rene had sat, picked up her plate then went to where his mostly full plate still resided. He had resigned himself to eating a little to make Rene happy, and could feel the consequences of such a fool hardy action. He swallowed, could feel acid lick at the back of his tongue, but he took a deep breath and forced it down.

For now anyways...

He turned on his heel, his black cape snapped behind him, added an elegance to his retreat that dissuaded Z'eh from exercising his drink induced bravery and following. Yuan marched, not so fast as to indicate he was making a hasty retreat but fast enough that he would make it in time. He patiently waited for the kitchen door to hiss open, then threw the steel plates aside and sank down by the sink. Unable to contain it he groaned, pressure surged up his throat and with a shudder he felt his legs collapse underneath him. Clenching his hands alongside the edge of the sink he was able to hold himself up as the first fit struck him with the force of a hammer.

You will no longer need to eat, never hunger, never thirst...

Black fluid, tasteless, neither hot or cold, spilled past his lips. And while his tongue might well be naive of the taste it seemed as if the rest of his body was happy enough to inform him of it's disgust. He shuddered, heaved, and kept heaving even after the last of the tar black, food speckled, substance had passed from him.

We will be immortal, all powerful, perfection personified...

His hands spasmed, he slipped, smashed his head against the wall as he fell. He cursed, lifted a hand to his head to nurse it, a mortal's reaction to pain that his Seraph form could no longer feel. He shuddered, pooled weakly onto the floor and just shook as his angelic metabolism tried to reject every mortal indulgence that he had wallowed in. Eating, drinking, they were such grave sins that this total lack of control -this fit- was his punishment.

"God's damn you..." He rasped, clenching his hands into fists as the last seizure passed. He weakly pushed off the steel floor, nearly fell, but after a long moment was able to work his way to his feet. He leaned heavily on the sink, stared at the filth that his body had purged. "This isn't perfection you bastard... I don't know what it is, but it isn't perfection..."

Gritting his teeth the Seraph fumbled and found the faucet. Water, pure and clean surged free from it's steel confines and began to wash away the black filth. It would take a while -time and experience had taught him that the mark of a Seraph's illness was hard to wipe away- but he had it nothing else, endless amounts of time.

When at last the filth was gone he reached out with steadier hands and after a quick search found a cloth and some soap. Lathering up the white fabric Yuan sighed and reached for the nearest dish that was in need of cleaning.

"Two thousand years of life... the first Half-Elven Sylvarant General, Yuan Vor'lesse... little more then a scullery maid for a bandit and child." He smirked, his smile as bitter as the sickness he had just endured. "How high we have risen, how very high."

X

"Blades up."

Wearily Rene and Z'eh lifted their weapons. One sword, one knife, both their razor sharp edges glittered in the merciless desert sun. He watched them, impassive, implacable, not even blinking when the desert wind stirred, set his black cape to fluttering and tossed the sands into the air and into his eyes. The two half elves before him blinked, Rene lifted a white sleeve to her face and coughed, the bandit squinted, and still Yuan didn't even twitch. He waited until the winds died, until they were both composed then gave his second order.

"Thrust."

Because of her lighter weapon Rene finished the motion a great deal faster then Z'eh, the bandit fumbled, stabbed at the air before him and nearly slashed Rene with the edge of his double edged sword. Years of practice at hiding his emotions kept Yuan from showing the panic the bandit's thoughtlessness rouse in him, years of acting allowed him to scrunch his face with rage when all he felt was pity for the two beings before him.

"Stop! You call that a thrust? You are supposed to fight as a unit, as a team, not as individuals."

Rene squirmed, uncomfortable for Yuan had never put so much harshness in his tone then directed it at her. Z'eh a veteran of the Seraph's anger just thrust the tip of his sword in the sand and waited it out.

"Time it right, both of you begin and finish the move at the same time. Sheath your blades!"

Rene did so with relief, perhaps thinking that the lesson was over, how wrong she was.

"On two-" Yuan felt his heart constrict within him when she cast him a disheartened look, but he made a point to not outwardly respond to the girl's mute despair. "You grasp the hilt of your blade, on four you pull it out in guard position, on six you thrust, eight withdraw the blade and return to guard, ten sheath your blade."

The first attempt was a total disaster, Rene drew her own blood in her fumbling, Z'eh nearly skewered the child again, and Yuan growled a few expletives under his breath.

"Again."

They looked up at him in horror, both clearly wanting to go back inside into the cool base and rest or heal themselves.

"Again and again, until you get it right." Yuan said coldly. "We go in only when you show some improvement and don't fight like two Tethe'allan back wash peasants. Now-" the seraph gripped the hilt of his swallow, "-one and _two_-" He grasped his blade, despite having the distraction of having to talk and run through the exercise at the same time. "Three and _four_-" His cape only stirred slightly as he drew his swallow, he braced the black hilt in both hands, locked his arms and shifted his feet slightly to brace them.

To their credit they tried to do much the same, Z'eh locked his arm and held his blade -the wrong way- and Rene tried to do the same and nearly cut herself again.

"Stop, keep in guard position." He stared at them for a long time, his sight so keep he could see the beads of sweat forming on their faces and dripping down. He noted that Rene was shaking a little, the heat was taking it's toll on her. The stronger Z'eh though, he could take the damage so Yuan turned on him and twirled the double bladed weapon in his hands. The man had only a second to shrink back in terror, then swallow smashed into sword. One spin, guided by the larger blade of his more exotic weapon the sword went up, following the cyclic motion of Yuan's attack. Z'eh's hands clenched, but sweat and a poor grip freed the weapon. Clenching his fist, Yuan killed all the motion of his weapon, his arm shook as he absorbed the force of the motion and weight, he held the now still weapon to Z'eh's throat.

Much like a sword, the swallow could thrust, pierce, and kill, it wasn't just a slashing weapon. It gained it's power in slashes, the momentum of twirling the oversized hilt (really little more then a thick black rod that held the two swords together) added a great deal of power to his attacks, but swallow and sword were both flexible weapons, both capable of preforming many tasks.

"Go get your sword." Yuan hissed. "And get it right next time, if you can't guard then you'll be dead in your first fight."

"Yu... Yuan..."

The seraph turned to the green haired girl, who squeaked his name. He stared at her, not speaking, letting his gaze speak for him.

"Am _I_ doing it right?" Rene whimpered.

"No." Yuan answered. "Spread your fingers a little, tighten your grip so the hilt bites back, and don't spread your legs, _brace_ them."

"Brace?"

Checking the urge to scream in all to mortal frustration, Yuan took a deep breath, exerted a patience that centuries of life had given him.

Training these two to do anything was going to take a Hell of a long time.

As if the Gods agreed with him Z'eh got his sword and was returning. He had to actually jump off the granite strip outside the base that Yuan had picked for their sparing ground to fetch his blade. While climbing up the sword tangled between the bandit's legs. There was a loud thump, a curse, and Yuan closed his eyes, ordered himself not to scream.

The Seraph even managed not to lose his self control when Rene asked where the mouth of the hilt was, and if the biting hurt a lot.


	16. trying

A/N: In TOS if you ever re-visit Yuan's office you can go in the back room, I've always wondered, why the heck there were two beds in that back room... Now I answer that. Oh and Z'eh gets his wake up call, all the pieces are falling inpiece now.Written to the somber yet upbeat "Fear Not" a Morrowind remix by The Wingless.

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades 

chapter 16

_This world is not meant to be inherited by the half breeds, with their twisted blood and vision. It's not meant to be inherited by the elves, who don't give a damn. It's mine, I've given my blood, my family, my hope and dreams to this world. It's given me nothing, years and years of giving and I get nothing, so I'll just take it all..._

_Maverick Sa'elun_

Trying

"I think I should cut my hair Yuan."

The seraph blinked, looked up from his book and stared at his charge in confusion. In response Rene ran a hand through her locks and twirled one of them between her fingers. He smiled down at her, closed the book and set it aside, ran a hand through her long hair. He liked it's length, it was suitable of a noble woman of Rene's age. Long, thick, luxurious, and probably as soft as silk. But with his dead hands he was never sure, of the softness, still he could take pleasure upon looking at it. Despite his lack of humanity -or perhaps the term should be mortaliness, as he wasn't human but a half elf- he could go about marveling at the luxurious green hue when it was laid against his ghost hued skin. He could take some pleasure in how it looked, and he shamelessly _did_ take pleasure in how Rene looked. Healthy, happy, mortal, he smiled, then with the final petting lifted his hand so the green locks fell from his fingers.

"Whatever for, Imp?"

She smiled, a charming smile, having over time grown to love his little nick name for her.

"It kinda... gets in the way when I-."

Yuan frowned and Rene chucked, shrugged, then gave into his grammar fetish.

"It _kind of_ gets in the way when I do stuff outside, spar, and well when it's windy..."

She made a face and he chuckled, understanding completely as he'd gone through the same problem when he was her age.

"There's a solution that doesn't involve sizzors, Imp."

"Oh?"

He tilted his head to the side, the raised tail he'd bound his unruly locks into bounced a bit as he shook his head.

"Ohhh!"

Rene's emerald eyes went wide with comprehension, and he smirked.

"Umm Yuan..."

"Go right ahead, and use whatever color ribbon you like." He opened the book, finding his place with ease. "If you have any other life altering decisions to make, I'll be right here."

"It's just _hair_ Yuan."

"Yes," Yuan nodded sagely, the motion set his white Triet stylized robes to wrinkle, as did breathing and even twitching... But Rene had gotten them for him for his Autumn Feast gift, so he wore them to humor her. He injected a note of horror in his voice, and murmured. "but sometimes Rene, it doesn't grow back."

"That's with _men_."

"Oh really?" Yuan rose an eyebrow. "Having well over two thousand years of life to my name I'd say I have a very good idea of what happens to old people, as everyone I've ever met has at some point or time gone old on me. Men and women do go bald, but if you really want to test my theory I could lop off a large lump of hair with my Swallow..."

"No!" Rene hopped back and held her hair protectively as he pulled himself to his feet.

"But Rene... it's _just_ hair, it won't take but a moment and you never know I might just be wron-."

"No!" Squeaking in terror Rene turned on her heal and ran from his office, Yuan chuckled and sat back down. He then tossed the book aside, having read it before he knew it's contents by heart. He'd only been reading to comfort her really, he'd also been drinking every now and then, and trying to sleep every few nights.

All to comfort a child that he was trying, trying his best to be normal.

Key word of course being _trying_.

"Love doesn't work miracles Rene." The Seraph sighed. "If it did... all would be right with this world, rather then... as it is now."

X

"Just stand in attention and look menacing or something, and try not to talk." Yuan snapped.

"An' just what's gunna happen?" Z'eh grumbled, shifting his helmet a little so it was centered.

"A man will appear, possible two. The one I know who will appear will be a blonde slender half elf. He'll be my height and be wearing a set of tight white clothes. Just bow when he appears, and if he demands you talk address him as Light Lord Yggdrasil. There may also be an auburn haired human, highly unlikely that he'll talk as he never does..." Yuan's lips quirked as Kratos had fallen so quiet after the last meting in Derris Kharlan that he might as well still be muted by Yggdrasil's spell. "But if he does, address him as Death Lord Aurion. Now, take three steps back, and genuflect the second he appears."

Z'eh nodded, obviously he was confused, but he would obey. Which was all that mattered, obedience was all Yuan needed out of the man, for now.

"I'm sending the signal, be ready." Yuan pressed a button on his desk then stood. Then as the man in white appeared and Z'eh bowed... Yuan bowed as well, actually falling to one knee and genuflecting.

"Lord of Heaven, I send you report of my success via elecotro holographic image projector and areo voice transmitter. Triet's ranch is fully operational, and I've sent you reports on the Iselian ranch as well as the one being constructed in the port town of PalmaCosta."

"So you have." The man in white dipped his head with a feline grace, his dead eyes flicked over Yuan then settled onto Z'eh. "You have begun accepting Desian initiates."

It was a statement, not a question, but whatever it meant didn't matter, so long as those eyes were off of him... and merciful Martel, they drifted over to Yuan and stayed there.

"One, at the moment, my lord. It's hard finding and training men with the... proper qualifications."

The man in white frowned. "Certainly, Seraph Yuan, with the prospering of Sylvarant and the half elf caste system that has fallen into heavy use..."

"In a desert, my lord?"

Wait a second... _seraph_! Z'eh jerked, looked to Yuan. The man in white frowned, was now looking straight at the ex-bandit, and it took all of Z'eh's will not to crap his pants under that dead unblinking stare.

"Dismiss this gnat Yuan, it seems as if you have not explained certain realities to him. Regardless, if you have or haven't such an inferior being should not hear the secrets of beings of heaven."

"Yes my Lord. You heard him, Desian, get out."

Z'eh nearly strangled at the command, almost protested. Yuan's eyes burned into him, the dead man in white glared at him... Common sense overruled stubbornness, and Z'eh hastily bowed to them both as he made his way to the door.

_I want, no_ need_ answers after all that_. Z'eh thought to himself as the door hissed closed behind him. _Why the Hell would Desian's use titles that the Church uses_?

X

Humming Rene waited, her small feet drummed against the chair, a pitcher of water and two cups were placed on Yuan's desk. She knew he was dealing with the bad person from heaven today, and after that he normally liked hiding in with his office. While she hated to admit it even thinking of the people from heaven even looking at the base or being anywhere near here made her want to hide in his office... or to be more exact, to curl up in a little ball under his desk and hope that they didn't find her.

They wouldn't come, they wouldn't find her, he had promised again and again.

So she waited in his office, out in the open, to reassure him when he got back that no matter how evil and cruel the angels of heaven were they were safe. She had to do reassure him because if she didn't who would? Not Z'eh, while Z'eh wasn't a bad person he didn't understand, and Yuan hadn't let her explain it to the fox faced half elf. She soon hummed herself out, only knowing religious hymns and refusing to hum those she had temporized with silly nonsense songs. But she only knew a few of those. Tapping her feet against the stool was entertaining, for a little, but as that grew dull and boring she squirmed. If she got really bored she might do something bad and get in trouble, but waiting -even when she was worried sick- for forever was really boring.

She almost wished that Yuan kept a clock in here, even a dripping water clock would give her something to stare at... but then considering how far it was from Yuan's office to the nearest bathroom maybe having a water clock in here wasn't such a good idea.

Rene hopped off of the stool that she was sitting on -a stunt that would have annoyed Z'eh who always insisted that good girl's "didn't do that"- her feet stomped hard against the carpeted floor, smashing her boredom down a little. Still, she wasn't quite like the normal girls, nothing like the girls she'd seen in Triet, and nothing like the children she'd met in Tethe'alla when she'd lived in Ozette. For one, little girls didn't wear pants, they wore skirts. Yuan had stubbornly insisted that she wear pants, especially if he was going to teach her how to fight... He had gone so far as to pick out a tan set of pants, made of some hard rough fabric that would take just about anything.

Another thing that made her different was that girls didn't fight. Knights were supposed to save them, the angels were supposed to come down from heaven and protect the ones that the knights couldn't save, even Ozette half elves were told that. Yet she wore a short sword, now. She wore it when she was inside, outside, and the only time when she didn't wear it was when she was showering or sleeping or... going.

But for a Chosen, a Tethe'allan Chosen, angels hadn't come down to save her. They would have come to take her to heaven, until one decided that she shouldn't go to heaven and had brought her to another world where it was hot and the men in the next town wore bound up capes on their heads. She smirked, Sylvarant humans were really strange, especially if they all wore bound up capes on their heads and had long, stick legged, hump backed, mean horses carry them everywhere.

She walked around the large mahogany desk, and even though the swerving chair was empty and there was no Yuan in it she smiled and reached out. No hand grasped hers telling her without words that she was noticed and welcome, no grumble came from the half elf who was once again distracted out of his thoughts from her presence. Since he wasn't there she turned the big backed chair around slowly, she stared at the emptiness and sighed. Yuan was taking forever, maybe he'd hurry back home if she did something a little bad to motivate him.

Rene bowed her head in thought, crossed her arms... and grumbled a little as her unbound green hair fell into her eyes. She pulled the emerald locks from her face and looked around, trying to find something to do. The books were to high on the book shelf for her to reach -and she really didn't want to knock them down anyways since if they fell on her they'd hurt- and there wasn't anything else in here save the desk...

And he'd put everything in the desk, put that under lock and key, and had put the key in his pocket.

"_It's to keep a certain someone from falling back into his old habits." Yuan had explained. "Once a thief always a thief, imp. Let's not give Z'eh more motivation to backslide than necessary._"

And of course in the desk was all the charcoal sticks, the feather quill pens, and the paper, he could have left a few of them out for her to doodle with or something!

Unable to think of anything she settled for slipping in the back room, there were two beds. Once she'd slept in here with him, or rather he'd pretended to sleep when she did so the Desian's would leave him alone. He'd also stayed in room and office to keep an eye on her so the Desian's wouldn't take her away. Yuan had never said that aloud but she knew, she knew just how evil the real Desian's were, so she hadn't protested.

Well there was nothing here, save beds and the teleport disk that he had ordered her to never ever use.

Most would have been tempted, just to do it anyway, but unlike most parents who say "don't" then don't explain Yuan had knelt before her and told her where it lead. It lead to Heaven, to the Hall of Mirrors in Derris Kharlan. The words "Derris Kharlan" gave her nightmares, the idea of stepping anywhere near that disk the shivers. So she pressed herself against the steel wall -a habit that always made Yuan chuckle and promise that the disk wasn't going to jump up and spirit her away- and crept to the beds and snatched the blankets off of her bed. Blankets in hand she crept back to the door, slipped out of the room, then just to be safe locked the door behind her.

Taking a deep breath, comforting her that this time the disk hadn't gotten her, Rene walked up to the empty chair and decided that it shouldn't be so empty. Wrapping herself up in her spoils Rene clambered up into the Seraph's chair, then she kicked her feet up on the desk and made herself at home.

X

Z'eh had wanted an explanation, it was hardly the Seraph's fault that the man couldn't take it. After being threatened by Yggdrasil, Yuan's store of civility was use up, he cooly met the man's eyes and summoned his wings. Bands of pink, red, violet, all twined together, surged around him, then plunged into his back. He shuddered at the sensation of skin ripping, but did nothing else, just glared and waited while the threads thickened, shifted... Mana changed, the energies of his soul turned into bone, blood... feathers.

Z'eh whimpered, stepping back so that he bumped into a wall. He stared at Yuan, his legs trembled, then buckled and he slid down the wall with surreal slowness. A stuttered prayer slipped past those pale lips, it's coherence lost in terror, and Yuan cocked his head to the side. Studied Z'eh much like he'd studied an insect.

Detached interest, pity, disgust...

"Does this answer work for you, inferior being?" Yuan murmured. "Does this _explanation_ serve?"

Not receiving an answer, not expecting one, Yuan turned on his heal. His cape swished behind him, tangled amongst the mess of glowing feathers that had sprouted from his back and served as wings. Absently the Seraph folded the wings, shook them out as he walked, and the cape fluttered to the floor, free. He had an appointment to keep, and between Z'eh's annoying interference and listening to Yggdrasil's tyrannical ravings he was late.


	17. second confrontation

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 17

Second confrontation

_When one engages Yuan in any form of conversation -small or large- I've found the experience to be a disturbing mix of interrogation and conversation. _

_Botta, Yuan's current Second._

Yawning Rene cracked open her eyes, as her eyes focused and she began to understand what she saw she let out a "meep" then cringed back in fear. Yuan, a very annoyed Yuan, an arms crossed and glaring Yuan, was looming over her. His face was scant inches from hers, his red and pink feathers were ruffled, and his eyes were blazing. Gulping, Rene slipped from the chair, nearly tripped on the blanket, but the second she was out of the chair Yuan threw himself in it and settled for glaring at the air in front of him.

Checking to make sure he wasn't glaring at her, Rene scooted to the side. But when those eyes didn't follow her she figured he wasn't mad at her. Rather he was being very Seraphim and being mad at someone far away from here, because when Yuan was mad he liked to glare at the person he was mad at.

"Bad day?" Rene murmured.

"Hellish."

Letting the blanket fall Rene slipped over to the stool where she had been sitting before, he hadn't thrown her out, hadn't told her to leave. So she took her usual seat, then reached for the desk and pushed the large pitcher of now warm water to the Seraph.

Yuan sighed, reached out with a black gloved hand then filled one of the glasses and handed it to her. She didn't take it, crossed her arms in front of her chest and met his icy eyes.

"I'm not thirsty unless you're thirsty."

"Rene..." Yuan growled. "Not today."

"Yes today." Rene growled right back. "You have to drink and eat everyday or you'll get sick."

"That is true, for a half elf, for a human, for -despite all their superior self controlled metabolism crap- an elf-" Yuan leaned forward, now she was the focus of his glare, but Rene didn't flinch back. "It is not true for a seraphim, I haven't eaten or drunk regularly for two thousand years, another day won't kill me."

"It might, if you're that far behind."

"Eating and drinking isn't a race Re-"

"And you aren't a Seraphim, you're a half elf, and you'll get sick."

He rose an eyebrow, slowly unfolded one of his wings and she looked at it. Unlike Z'eh -or anyone else really- she wasn't scared of his wings. She took in his expression then turned her own to match. She rose an emerald hued eyebrow to match his sapphire hued one, hardened and narrowed her eyes ever so slightly, then pressed her lips into a thin line. They glared at each other, then Yuan folded his wing, tucked it against his side and the black cape settled over it, hiding the long slender wing but doing nothing to mask the tell tale crimson glow.

"You mix past with present, I was a half elf, I am now a Seraph." Yuan corrected. He leaned, set his elbows on the table and set his chin upon his fisted hands. Much to Yuan's humor Rene tried to do the same thing with her hands, being short she had to scoot to the very edge of the stool.

"You're going to fall." He noted

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am... ek!"

Reaching out he caught her. The stool fell, smashed into the desk, and had she still been in it she would have tumbled off and probably landed amongst the glass and pitcher. His hands closed around the underside of her arms, he stood, Rene still in his grasp. Her feet dangled helplessly a few inches off the floor. One sandal slipped off her foot and she looked sheepishly up at him.

"I believe..." Yuan took a deep breath, waited for his nerves to settle. "I was correct."

"I miscalculated." She squirmed. "Yuan... ow... your grips a little tight."

He set her down and she sighed with relief and rubbed her arms.

After a bit of "ow"ing she went to the stool, righted it, then scooted it a few inches closer to his desk. Then she climbed back up, put her elbows on the desk and went back to glaring at him.

"Are you Kratos now?" Yuan growled, scooting the water to her, hoping that she would drink.

No response, save more glaring.

"Must I?" Yuan sighed. She nodded, grim, implacable. Only twelve and she was a miniature copy of him.

The world was doomed if she kept acting like him, if nothing else Cruxis was doomed. Not that that was a bad thing per say...

"Fine." He snatched the pitcher, poured himself a fourth a glass and threw it down in one toss. He stomach writhed in protest at the raw quantity, he shuddered, his wings spasmed behind him as if mimicking the internal organ's rejection. "Happy?" He rasped.

"It's a start." Rene dropped the hostile act, flashed him a smile, and then snatched her glass and drained it in a series of greedy gulps that made the water spill all over her.

Having had her over and having spent many times going over this confrontation and scenario time and time again Yuan was prepared. He pulled a key out from his pocket, found a familiar drawer, and after unlocking it came up with a towel. He threw and she caught what he threw, just like all the other times.

"You're a mess Imp, clean up."

"Yes, Sir."

"And stop smirking, it's not like I drank a whole glass."

"Not yet." Rene smirked up at him. "I'm working in it though."

X

He escorted her back to his room, as always. Another similarity, another comfort. Pattern was a comfort, repetition the way of life for the eternal. He stroked her hair, wondered a little at what it would look like shorter, then banished the thought. It would look too much like Martel's, it would bring too many memories of Martel... Best to keep it long, at least until he was stronger and Rene grew a little more. As an adult she would look less and less like Martel, as was the way of all the other failed Chosens. So like Martel in demeanor, in mannerisms, they grew and changed, and became less and less like his lover as the days went on. That was another comfort.

"Rest well, Rene."

"M hmm, 'night Yuan. Could you tell me another story t'night?"

"A quick one." Yuan's lips curled into a half smile and he leaned against the portal, watched as Rene crawled onto the bed and curled under the blankets. It was too large for her, the bed, but she would grow into it come time, and ordering or requesting a child's bed would bring questions. Dangerous questions, so she did without. "Once upon a time there was a girl who kept annoying a certain Seraph by asking for stories when she _knew_ that he couldn't tell stories..."

Rene pulled the blanket over her head, but stuck her tongue out at him before she retreated in full.

"One day the Seraph go so annoyed that one day he changed the password to her room and she was trapped within for all eternity. Good night Rene. "

"You change the password and when I get out I'll ram food down your throat." Rene growled, her voice muffled by blanket.

"Who, me?"

One hand snaked free, groped along the bed for a moment then small fingers wrapper around a pillow. Yuan barely had time to close the door, there was a thump, fluff hitting steel, then silence.

X

"You... knew he was a..." Z'eh sputtered, looked down at Rene who looked up from playing with the string in her hands to stare at him.

Rene groaned. "He Angeliced you didn't he? And even after I told him not to Angelic you!" She kicked the leg of the chair she was perched on hard enough to make the whole thing quake. That was pretty impressive, the furniture in the library was pretty sturdy stuff...

"It doesn't bother you... that he's a winged fre-"

"Does it bother you that I'm the Chosen of Tethe'alla?" Rene asked, a hint of steel in her eyes bellied the honey sweet tone of voice.

"You're the _what_?" Z'eh screamed.

"The. Chosen. Of. Tethe'alla." Rene explained, saying each word slowly, as if he'd turned dumb. "Arm, please."

Numbly Z'eh extended his arm, and Rene wormed the limb through the center of her yarn web that ran from one hand to the other. Rene released the ends, tugged, and Z'eh found his arm bound.

"It's really simple, I'm the Chosen of Tethe'alla, he was supposed to by _mer_ _Derris fa Sith_, but he defied the Lord of Heaven."

"Merdurry what?" Z'eh stared at her, his eyes were so wide it was a wonder they didn't roll from his head..

"_Mer Derris fa Sith_, my Angel of Death. The Lord of Light said I was a bad Chosen, so he wanted me killed. Yuan said yes, but he didn't kill me. We moved to Sylvarant, and made this place, and then you came, and..." Rene frowned. "Well there isn't much of an "and" after you came, after all nothing else's happened."

"Oh." Z'eh sat down, staring numbly at the air in front of him. "So..." The ex-bandit struggled to get the words out. "He's an angel."

"No, he's a Seraph, only the Chosen's become Angels, the rest of Cruxis are Seraphim."

"By the Godde-"

"There isn't a Goddess."

Z'eh looked at Rene in horror, horror at her sacrilege, and perhaps a deeper hidden horror... that she was right.

"There isn't a Goddess." Rene whispered. "There never was a Goddess. They wanted me to die, all the Seraphim, all the Angels, all Tethe'alla... They wanted me to die for someone who isn't real." Rene's voice broke, she looked up at the ex-bandit, tears in her eyes. Z'eh fought to get himself out of the leather chair, he found his feet, and then embraced the girl.

"It's alright... shh... everything's alright..."

Perhaps the most pathetic words, the words of an adult who knows that nothing is right, that nothing will ever be right again, but who can do nothing but comfort. Even if that comfort isn't anything but a lie.

X

"Are we going to have yet another repeat of last moon's conversation?"

In response Z'eh pulled his knife from it's sheath then let it fall. The ting of steel on steel was muffled to the mortal's ears, lost in the crush of the carpet's hairs catching the blade, but being a Seraph, Yuan could easily pick out the sound that occurred under a sound. The steely echo rang in his ear, a muffled bell. Yuan stared at the fox faced half elf, rose an eyebrow, then nodded his head. To convey respect, to agree... He wasn't sure, the gesture seemed appropriate however.

If nothing else Z'eh took it as a sign that he was welcome to sit in Rene's chair.

"You've caught my interest, for once." Yuan quipped.

"Just shut up." Z'eh snarled. "I still hate your guts."

"Don't make me lose that interest." Yuan murmured.

"You're an angel?"

"Already this conversation is beginning to bore me, Mer Z'eh."

Yuan's gloved hand wandered across the desk, and Z'eh smirked.

"You got a fancy "call the guards button", but if you haven' noticed I'm the only guard here."

"I keep a short sword in the compartment besides the button." Yuan replied, and the smirk on Z'eh's twisted into an expression of fear.

"How 'bout this for interest? No Goddess, right?"

The hand stilled, was it Z'eh's imagination that it spasmed?

"No Goddess." Yuan whispered, looking up into the bandit's dark eyes. "You are very astute, no, there is no _Goddess_ Martel."

It was the first time in Z'eh's memory that Yuan looked at him, rather then through him.

"But there is a Martel?"

"A mortal healer. Once long ago she bound two warring nations as one, healing the hatreds of both countries so different that they could have been all of different worlds. She was murdered, an assassin came, attacked out camp. One of our companions had a bit of a record and they came to collect... We fought them, _she_ fought them, and she died."

"You were there?"

Yuan's eyes were lost, distant, looking upon some internal vista.

"Yes."

"And she died?"

"Yes.. And no. She died, her heart stopped, her body decayed under the march of the decades that passed after her death. But in some cases death is not permanent, death... is not the end. Not if you hold the key to all the worlds power. She lives on, in suspended animation, her soul bound to the heartbeat of this world. '_He -wielder of the world's power- then turned upon his living companions and spake. "Know that death is not eternal, yet nether is life. Discard both and you have true immortality_." A quote, that one, from your book of Regeneration."

"_He bound the souls of the companions in ice, and She -Light of the World- then gathered them to her breast and bath them in the Light."_

"I believe that is the proper segment that comes after the downfall of Mithos the Hero. Accurate yet so very misleading. After our transformation we appeared as angels, as holy vassals of the Gods of Light. "_Why not take that role, with all it's power and propaganda we could change the faith of the worlds?_", he said, and so we did."

"Who said?"

"Your hero, hell the hero of two worlds, Mithos the Valiant."

Z'eh's face had turned pale again, but there was no stutter to his heartbeat, no shudder that warned that the man was going to faint again.

"The Hero and the Lord of Light, who are one and the same."


	18. serious banter

Defiance Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 18

Serious Banter

AN: A quick fluff chapter, some serious stuffs addressed in the beginning, but the rest is just to show what kind of connection each character has with the other.

"Ignorance, cowardice, complacency, and illusion: A true tyrants arsenal."

Yuan Vor'esse

"How's she takin' it?" Z'eh growled, not looking away from the tinted window. When he squinted -just like he squinted- you could just barely make out that the white "frost" was indeed not frost but white quartz imbued with ice mana. Someone -a very patient and skilled someone- had sculpted the quartz, so that the runes looked like they were lost in the thin skin of frost, or perhaps the frost was lost in the runes... Breathing heavily Z'eh watched his breath steam, watched the steam brush against the glass and turn to fog. The whole fortress was like that, bitterly cold around the edges, each window a portal of arctic coolness, each wall might as well have been made of ice rather then steel. The whole fortress must shimmer, must look like a mirage from the outside. As for the inside, when looking out, the world beyond the "ranch" was little more them a blurring of gold and yellow.

"Rene?" With a grace far beyond her years."

"What 'bout her folks?"

"Dead, killed by the Desian's."

Z'eh shivered, and not from the ice cold window. Reaching out with a shaking hand he raked his fingers of the glass bound fog, the view beyond was as crazy and blurred as before...

"So... she's seen Tethe'alla?"

"She lived there, once... At least until I came and turned her life upside down." Yuan stepped forward, not enough to take Z'eh's spot in front of the mirror, but close enough to overlap his reflection over that of the dream like scenery. A mass of black, outlined in hazy red, topped in sky blue, all smeared, all coherence and shape lost to the false mana born mist. "Still-" a flash of white flashed into being in the blob that was only a few shades short of corpse white. "Having one's roof decimated and one's life _disrupted_ is better then the alternative."

"Huh?" Z'eh turned to the Seraph, to see that Yuan wasn't smiling, that his face was as cool and expressionless as always.

"Death is the only alternative. When ignorance of the true state of the world is broken- even only a little- death becomes the destiny of the person who stumbles upon reality. That is one of Cruxis' duties... to guard over the areas where the break between the world is flawed and to kill those who see too much."

"Hunh." Z'eh turned away from the Seraph, leaned against the glass. "Death seems like bliss rather then this kind of life."

"With ignorance no longer an option, perhaps it is. I certainly won't argue it. After all, being the man who should have died two millennia ago..." Yuan shrugged. "But it's not an option, at least not for me."

Z'eh close his eyes, leaned against the window frame, his fingers crossed in and out of the white fog. Each motion left spread little beads of water, and Yuan lazily counted those. He watched with eyes too keen the process of the water re-freezing, reforming into a thin harsh skin across the glass. It wasn't rough enough for Z'eh to feel, not with the cold added to it, but it was a harshness easier seen then felt.

"Now what?"

"I asked you that once before, half elf, you never answered."

"How can you do _anything_? Knowing this, knowin' how damned screwed up the world is? You can't have a life or a trade or nothin' with this looming over your head. Hell... even havin' kids, who'd want to, the worlds so screwed up it'd seem cruel to have 'em around."

"Are you proposing mass genocide of the world's children?"

"No!" Z'eh shuddered, his eyes flared open and he turned on the Seraph in disgust. "Goddess no I'm not saying that!"

"Ignorance, cowardice, complacency-" Yuan inclined his head to indicate the view outside. "- and illusion. The Lord of Heaven's arsenal, all keyed to keep the populace of three worlds under his thumb."

"Three worlds?"

"The false heaven, Derris Kharlan, where he rules, it's too alien to have naturally been a part of either world. Or perhaps I should say two worlds, after all once long ago Sylvarant and Tethe'alla were once one."

"What's Hea- Derris Kharlan like."

"Hell sculpted from ice, a place of gleaming crystals and stars housed by the damned. It was empty after the war, but after the Chosen propagand-"

"What war?"

Yuan frowned, stared at the ex-bandit long and hard.

"Tell me you aren't _that_ ignorant."

"Seriously." Z'eh ran a hand through his closely cropped brown hair. "If there's a war shouldn't I know 'bout it so I can pick a side?"

Z'eh looked on, more then a little confused when Yuan put his hands over his face and moaned.

X

"Alright." Rene looked up from jotting down notes into her notebook, her small bare feet drummed a restless pattern into the carpeting. "In understand that the elves planted the Kharlan Tree, and by doing so made the dormant channels of this world's mana active... But why?"

"Like exposed to like..." Yuan said... or rather asked. His eyes asked even when his mouth formed statements.

"Magnifies, enhances, and reinforces." Rene finished easily enough. "Yes, the tree's mana was drawn to the worlds real dormant mana but why did they put the tree down in the first place?"

Yuan shrugged, caressed the edge of the tomb he'd been reading from, then with a small smile closed it.

"What makes you think it was the first time they've done so?"

"Well that might explain the seals." Rene nodded. "But why'd the seals not release mana and bath the world in life until after the tree was planed?"

"Why do you think the elves called them _seals_?" Yuan countered.

"Well... umm... damn it..." Rene bit her lip, thought it over, then growled. "One of these days Yuan..."

"Yes?" The sapphire eyes closed to mere slits.

"Nothing." Rene huffed, sulkily resting her chin on he crossed arms.

"When you're older maybe you'll snag me, maybe..."

Rene lifted her head and stuck her tongue out at the Seraph, then decided to rest her cheek against the carpet. Yuan let a chuckle slip, then looked up, startled. He nodded his head, to indicate he saw the raised hand, and that the hand's owner could speak.

"Yes, Mer Z'eh? You may be working on geometry and algebraic formula but you can ask a question about this topic."

"Why you askin' stuff that doesn't have an answer?" The ex-bandit grumbled.

"It's fun!" Rene chirped.

"Well... yes... Yuan frowned. "Despite being... _fun_ it's good exercise for broadening the mind. Trust me, when you get the basic's down you'll be going through this as well."

Z'eh groaned and Yuan snorted.

"Be grateful, Mer Z'eh, you won't die a fool. Most of your kindred couldn't lay claim to as much."

Scowling Z'eh ducked from those piercing eyes, found sanctuary in the pages of a math book.

"Thanks awfully."

"Your welcome." Rene chirped.

"Don't you agree with him Pretty, he's bad enough all on his own!" Z'eh snapped.

"_When_ did you start calling her that?" Yuan hissed.

"When'd you get so Goddess damned possessive?"

"I'm not possessive! On the other hand, if keeping such unclean lecherous bandits paws away from an innocent girl count's as "possessive" then perhaps-"

"When Yuan uses really long words and starts screeching at you, you do this." Rene informed Z'eh, then put both her hands over her ears.

Well, if nothing else that shut Yuan up really fast... for all of a second anyways.

"Screech?" Yuan sputtered. "I do not _screech_."

"Ya know, they say men who go all high pitched when they're angry might have... a favoring of non-conventual partners..." Z'eh smirked, pleased that a few days listening to Yuan and Rene argue had taught him a few words if nothing else.

"What was _that_?" Yuan roared.

"Think of it man, the pink fairy wings, the screechiness, the hair..."

"My wings are _red_." Yuan snarled.

"But the feathers are pink." Rene chirped, putting her hands away from her ears in time to catch the wings part of the conversation. "Well the ones that you lose are pink. I have one! Want to see?"

"No!" Yuan snarled. "And what you are implying, Mer Z'eh, is absolutely disgusting. If you _must_ know, I was married..."

"To who, the blonde haired angel?"

Yuan nearly gagged at the thought -certainly he shuddered in horror-, Rene blinked and looked at both adults in complete confusion, and Z'eh chuckled.

"If you don't shut up..." Yuan hissed, he clenched his hand, as if closing it around an orb of electricity and Z'eh got the hint.

"I'm gunna go back to readin'..." Z'eh buried his nose in the math book and Yuan grunted.

"Umm Yuan?" Rene looked up at the Seraph in confusion.

"Don't ask." Yuan growled. "Just don't ask."


	19. Ears and Wings

_A/N: Another span in Yuan's head, where his memories and the present moment are all muddled. Since I've done this to you a few times before hopefully I won't lose anyone on the way._

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 19

_To preserve a child's innocence, I all but destroyed myself. I -if nothing else- destroyed the man that Martel loved. An honest man had to die, because if I had clung to the "old me" -as a man I trusted once termed it- I would have died. So, the truth had to die. For the sake of survival what I had once been had to die so that part of the man I was might continue. By embracing the liar, the schemer, the deceiver I became the man who killed her. To save the worlds I must damn myself and all around me, it's a slow death... being consumed by my frustration, my guilt, and the lies. But if in death I serve, then I am no different then those Renegades who have served me throughout the centuries._

"_Till death we serve, and beyond if need be."_

-A segment from Yuan Vor'esse's private journal, final line is a quote from the Renegades oath.-

Ears...

Lounging was much more satisfying when you could fully stretch. It was rare that he was in tolerant company that stretching would be acceptable, rarer still that he was in such company and the urge fell upon him. And rarest of all was when he was at ease enough to dare to indulge, when indulgence didn't spell death or pain...

He grimaced, a flash of pain came and went, or rather pain that was not pain. Perhaps it was a disturbance. He was aware of skin ripping, muscles tearing, binding to the artificial wings that had thrust into his back. But despite these things that should have equaled searing agony, the transformation was not. It was sensation, sensation so intense it might as well have been agony. It ripped away intelligence, identity, much like pain did...

Clenching his fists, as he came back to himself, shuddering at the shock of his rebirth. The motion was mimed by the feathered membranes, that folded tightly then quaked, miming the motions of his hands and arms. They has stabbed through skin and bone. They had bound themselves to muscles, had basically tore down and rebuilt the whole muscular system of his back... And were even now spreading the thinnest tendrils of themselves along the hollow of his spine, winding amongst nerves and creeping into the recesses of his brain.

Gods... there should have been a better way, but there wasn't. Or rather, if there was Yggdrasil would have to first undo what he had done to them in the first place then inflict another transformation on them.

_I'd rather go to Hell first._

It could have been worse, he could have had wing's like Kratos'. Every day, every moment, those sapphire wings were resting, sheathed amongst the muscles, cradled by nerves, cushioned by blood vessels. Itching, the endless itching and striving to break free... gods what a hell that must be.

In comparison to Kratos... his existence must be bliss.

Yuan wondered -even as the crimson base of his wings shivered and ruffled their own feathers- if Kratos was ever jealous, if the once human dreamed of a simpler existence where his seraphim status wasn't thrust into his face every second of the day.

Sighing the Seraph relaxed, forced his muscles to unclench, and in response his wings spread as far as they could. He breathed deeply, and the wings shivered a little, the pink tufts at the end of each of the artificial limbs were ruffled. Soft as silk, the color of sun striking cloud, that molten electric pink of the dying sun, he'd used such terms to hide just how feminine the hue was.

Now -in all honestly- he had to admit, Z'eh's tag of "rose pink" was an uncomfortably accurate term.

While he might agree on the ex-bandit's color analysis he'd not stoop low enough to call them "fairy wings".

Reaching up he fumbled around his neck. With a "click" the gold and sapphire piece encrusted clasp split, it's break was controlled by the hinges Rene had put on the thing. Another "click" and he closed the thing, slipped it into his pants pocket and with a lazy flap of his wings sent his now unbound cape to fluttering to the floor. That out of the way he fanned each of his six wings. Rolling his shoulders he shivered as sensation and motion consumed him, for a moment he was only that, a being consumed by the motions of instinct.

Sound, a giggle, broke him out of it, he cracked an eye open and folded each wing so that it pressed against his side.

"Is something _funny,_ Rene?"

"Nooo..."

"To quote Derris fa Sith: _Indeed_."

Rene laughed and the Seraph allowed a small spasm of his face muscles to curl his lips into a half smile.

"So," Yuan toyed with the clasp in his pocket, rolled it over his knuckles. "Do you really have a nightmare, or did you just come in to watch me make a fool of myself?"

"Both." The ex-Chosen admitted with a grin.

Yuan laughed, walked across the room -such distance from Rene was prudent when the crimson feathers that made the bulk of his wings could rip through flesh- and sat on the edge of her bed. Fear was no longer an issue for the girl, watching his indulgence had soothed her or at least distracted her from her nightmare, and sleep was fast taking fear's place. She yawned and the Seraph chuckled, the gesture masking both envy and the scorn he felt for what was to him a purely mortal weakness.

"Rest well, Imp."

"G'night Yuan."

She stretched, her arms reaching for him. It was so odd, the gesture so alien to his Seraph existence that he faltered. Then his mortality returned, memories of warmth, of a time when he was not a monster, and he recalled. This was part of a child's needs, a mortal's needs, a show of affection, all rolled up in one. Almost shyly he knelt, allowed her arms to slide over his shoulders. He replied by meekly sliding his arms around her back, and endured the child's pulse that hammered against her skin and was a discordant note of life in the symphony of death that a Seraph was supposed to be.

_Frozen flesh, unfeeling touch, a dead soul..._

_Damn you Mithos, for turning us into this_...

He recalled, another mortal memory, etched in fire across the arctic expanse of his mind, and he smiled because he could not cry.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite."

"Bugs!" Rene squeaked recoiling in terror.

Yuan chuckled, ruffled the green locks.

"Yes, bugs. Nasty fanged, drooling, demon bugs that slide under the bed and wait for little girls to fall asleep..."

"I'm not going to get any sleep now!" Rene whimpered.

"You will," Yuan promised with an evil laugh . "Eventually."

X

Holding the whimpering Rene, Z'eh looked over the girl's shoulder and glared daggers at the Seraph. Yuan, as usual, was unfazed by the hostility. Grimly he kicked the dead bandit off of his sword staff thing... A word, a gesture, and the corpse burned so fast that it didn't even have time to reek. The flames that the red winged seraph summoned was hot enough to burn the body, burn the smoke, and the smell.

How the hell you burnt smell so fast it _didn't_ smell was beyond Z'eh, but Yuan pulled it off somehow.

"In war you have to kill... In conflict the other side sometimes has to die."

"That's not what you tell a kid." Z'eh snarled, pulling the shivering Rene to him. "You don't tell a kid '_I kill people, get over it_'."

"That's not what I said." Yuan hissed.

"No." The ex-bandit stroked the girl's green locks leaving streaks of red, marring the chid's perfection. Like Yuan, Z'eh's hands weren't clean, yet still he held Rene. The urge to force them apart was strong. He held back his primal response that reeked of jealousy (and stopped himself from killing the ex-bandit) by a hair. "It's what you say and what you do."

Even at Yuan's growl the bandit was unfazed, the man cooly looked up at him, and it was only the fact he held Rene that kept Yuan from putting his Swallow in the man's back.

"You say one thing, you say all lives are special, that she should tolerate humans, then every human that makes it in here either gets fried or slashed."

"They're trying to kill her, to kill you if you hadn't noticed..."

"I noticed." Z'eh spat. "I killed 'em to save myself, I'd kill them all to save myself if I had to. That don't bother me. What bothers me is the damned guilt trip you're puttin' the kid through every time this happens. Don't kill, unless you have to, that's what you're teachin' her. Makin' her think that they might have families, kids o' there own."

"Which they might." Yuan pointed out coldly. "You forget Mer. Z'eh, even "the enemy" are people with lives, hopes, dreams..."

"They're human." Z'eh growled. "This tolerance stuff you're rammin' down her throat is rippin' her up inside."

Looking down at the shaking Rene he had to wonder if perhaps this was his fault. If he was unduly adding to her pain. But to have left her so many months ago was to see her dead in days, to have given her to Yggdrasil was to see her tormented to death to appease the "lord of light"...

X

Pausing at the door Yuan flexed his gloved hands, even now he could not function without something over his hands.

Rarely could he tolerate the touch of a mortal, but bare skin to skin was an agony. There were some changes though, he had exchanged the old black leather gloves for something more akin to gauntlets. Padded things made of hardened leather, not as smooth as a second skin but better for keeping his hands from being damaged when he swung his swallow. Certainly it was a stupid gesture, being a Seraph his hands didn't get hurt but... Mortal habits, mortal memory were slowly coming back to him, and he dared not listen to every part that came back, because he might just lose it all.

"Rene... are you sorry...?" The Seraph's throat closed, he lost his words. The sensation was another mortal discomfort, given to him by an over load of emotion. Amazing, how such simple things as fear and pain could take a voice, had it always been like this?

"For what?"

"That you decided to live with me?" Yuan asked, his wings were pressed so hard against him that they actually hurt. Or rather they sent out signals of confinement and that the muscles in need for blood that would have once translated to pain.

"There was a creek from the bed, perhaps she rolled over to better look at him. The Seraph found that he didn't have the courage to turn and check.

"No, don't be dumb Yuan, of course I'm not sorry."

"Even though..." He bit his lip, told himself to shut up while he still had her approval. He'd ruined everything else, he wouldn't ruin this.

"Even though bad things happen?" Rene asked. "Even though the humans think I'm a monster, that you're a monster?"

"Yes."

"They'd of thought it anyways." Rene's shrug could be heard by his ears even though he didn't turn to see it. Fabric stirred slightly, tensed as the muscles under it tensed, then relaxed with the barest of sighs. "Me living here doesn't make me any less or more of a monster to them. I think it's the ears. You know, how pointy they get, Mother used to say human were jealous"

_If only hate was that simple..._

Yuan smiled, though she couldn't see it. He nodded in agreement, though he didn't feel it.

"Perhaps... perhaps it is the ears."

Never had a lie come so awkward to him before, but she didn't catch it, catch the lie in his tone or in his stance. Her answer was a child's answer, and for a little longer it would serve.

For now...


	20. First battle: Opening exchange

_I grow weary of this blood seeped existence, yet not weary enough to court death and the Hell that lies in wait for me._

_Kratos Aurion_

Chapter 20, Defiance Birth of the Renegades

The First battle, Opening Pandemonium.

(A/N: It was meant to be one chapter, I made it two for the skae of limited time since I don't wkno when I can get online again. Enjoy and I'll put up the other half when I can.)

It hissed, crackled, in his hand. Grimly he pressed the rectangular contraption to his chest to muffle the sound, and looked around the corner. The sight before him hadn't changed, and he cursed, turned and pressed himself against the scalding hot steel. Portable Thunder-Aero Voice Transmitter in one hand, short sword in the other he cursed more vehemently, from the mess of screams and barked orders it'd be unlikely that he'd be heard. Goddess damned humans, he fumbled with the device, tried to recall the briefing that Yuan had given him when he explained exactly what happened during an attack.

X

"Three buttons in the center each with their own purpose." Yuan looked down at the small box, his sapphire eyes distant as he lazily traced the outer edge of the device. It was as if the Seraph _liked_ how the edge bit into his finger or something... All Z'eh could say was that the thing looked hard, and it was made of metal, and it was going to be a damned joy to carry outside in one hundred plus degree weather.

"Yeah, simple stupid for the fool. I get you." Z'eh snapped.

"Good." Yuan's eyes flashed onto him, razor sharp, arctic cold. "Green button opens communications with both Rene and myself, the blue one indicates you've been captured, the red one means the place is seconds from being over run. Once you press that one you have one minute to get inside before I release the electricity in the wards I've buried in the sand."

"It takes five at a dead run to get back, starting from the fence to the door, and another minute to open the damned..." Z'eh choked.

"As I said: When the place is seconds from being over run, press the red button."

X

Green, the small stone sunk under the pressure of his thumb, it's edges bit into his shaking hand. Pressing upper edge of the thing to his ear, cupping the small slip of holey metal rod that slipped out. A neurotic habit, born from fear that the rod would slide all the way out and the whole thing would fall apart.

"Z'eh, what's wrong? Your speakers on."

"Rene, can you see 'em?"

"Just some silver clad warriors on horses, their at the front gate just... standing there."

"Waiting for some sort of signal I'd presume. There seems to be some activity along the western side, where the rock formation is... Damn, none of the cameras can turn enough to see..."

"You don't want to." Z'eh growled, seeing again the mass of terrorfied half elven children surrounded by the dusty sheet wrapped thieves. The parents, the elders, were all in a line facing the fence, whipers marching behind them hissing orders that if the fence didn't get torn down the kids were all dead. "They enlisted the bandits, the Silvers and the bandits are working side by side to wipe us out."

"The what?" Rene sounded even younger in her confusion, and again Z'eh cursed Yuan for bringing her into this.

"Bandits slang for the knights of the White Water Monarchy. I take it their cutting through the fence, once again?"

"No, they've pulled everyone with pointed ears out of Triet and their going to try to magic the fence down. They got the half elves kids, gunna slaughter them if and of the 'dults refuse to spell cast."

"Shit."

Huh, Z'eh never knew Yuan could actually swear and sound like a normal half elf for once.

"Yuan we can't..."

"I know that." Yuan snarled at Rene, another shock of the day it seemed, Yuan never snapped at Rene. "I'm not going to leave them to die. Both of you, the sheds on the edge of your sectors, get in turn off the reactors, that will kill the power to the fence and the base. I'll open the doors after you do that."

Wait a second _after_ the electric mana was off? Those things were made of steel infused with the "blessings" of earth mana. A hundred times heavier then nature intended, Z'eh had watched humans waste hours pounding them with battering rams then drop dead from the potent mix of sun exposure and exhaustion.

"Yeah," Z'eh snorted, "good luck with that. What about the half elves?"

"Once the power is down hopefully some of the bandits will join the rush to the base. I'll hold them back, Rene pick off the stragglers, Z'eh guard the innocents."

"You'll kill them all by yourself." Z'eh grunted. "You said I'd get a piece of the fight-"

"You will." Yuan promised grimly. "Seeing the Silvers go down do you think all the bandits are stupid enough to join them? They'll turn on the most vulnerable out on the field, pick off the dazed, the unarmed..."

"I know how a bandit thinks, damn it." Z'eh growled, blood rushing to his face. His show of shame adding more heat to what was already feeling like an oven.

"I imagine you do." Yuan snapped. "Both of you, don't contact me again unless something goes wrong, I'll be busy."

There was a click, a screech, and then silence, at least on Yuan's part.

"Funny how he gets the special aero whatchma call it to tone us out." Z'eh growled.

"He said it was to keep you from driving him to insanity." Rene sounded a little embarrassed, as if Yuan hate for him (and vica versa) was something that she was responsible for.

"Meh, don't worry your head Pretty, everything's gunna be fine. Just cover my back when the fighting starts."

X

"_Fa_ _merth Derisa_ you don't have to do this." Reaching out with a hand Yuan had pulled aside a rouge strand of green that had fallen over her left eye. "You don't have to go down there, you don't have to fight..."

Sighing Rene pulled away. She stood, looked at him with such sad eyes. Even as she pulled her lips into a watery smile, even as she promised, and assured, and _insisted_, that this was her place, that she had to do _something_...

He didn't believe her, would worry, would fret, and she wondered if he was even hearing her arguments.

"Yuan." She reached across the desk, clasped her hands over his. No longer did she touch him with a child's hands, not exactly an adults either. She hovered between those two worlds, four worlds if you considered that she already existed in two at the same time due to her blood. Two bloods, three worlds, her reality was a mess of conflicting bloods and worlds. "I promise I won't do anything stupid, alright. Nothing like what you'd do."

He looked up, looked at her, and managed a smile. It was a brave, utterly fake, smile, and he nodded, prayed she couldn't read through it.

"Yes, promise me you won't do anything I would do, and I know you'll be safe."

"I promise." She leaned forward, kissed his forehead and he jerked at the caress, as he jerked every time she would spontaneously show him affection. She swallowed her hurt, her pain, now wasn't the time for it. "I need to go, and _you_ need to yell at Z'eh so he remembers not to press the red button."

"Leaving me with that wonderful task, are you?"

"He wouldn't take me seriously, he still thinks I'm twelve."

"Which you aren't." Yuan agreed, saying the words slowly, as if he was reminding himself. "But remember Rene, in a lifetime that spans a millennia, between twelve and sixteen are but four short years."

"Amazing-"she arched an eyebrow at him, "-you can count."

"Out!" Yuan mock growled. "Now!"

X

Typing in the code Rene abandoned the generator, charged out of the steel shed and into the blinding sun. She blinked, lifted her long bow and notched an arrow even before her sight had fully returned. She stared at the black wires with their cacti like thorns, could hear it more then see the lightning mana hiss across the steel as it withdrew. The Silvers turned, stared at her in wonder, probably confused at the lone half elf that had come charging out of a meaningless steel hut armed with only a bow.

Bravely one of the knights reached out with a silver sword, poked the wire, and when it sagged under the pressure and there was no flash of light, no screaming death, the men looked at each other in bafflement. Well as much bafflement as a group of men wearing full plate armor and shiny steel helmets covered with blue feathers could show.

"You aren't welcome here, none of you humans are welcome here. Leave us alone."

There was the clomp of hooves, the men closest to her parted for what had to be the leader. No other human save one in upper command could feel anything but gauche wearing a gold frilly cape with baby blue symbols embroidered on it. He looked down at her, looked through the wire, at her bow and it's accompanying arrow that was raised up at him in defiance.

Never did he once look at her, rather he looked though her, as if she was below his notice.

As had a hundred humans had before, as would a thousand other humans look upon her, as if she was nothing.

"Your kind isn't welcome on our world half breed," The man in gold sneered. "Go with the elves back to the stars and leave this world forever."

Thinking of Derris Kharlan, of the angels, of the city of ice and stone she shivered, shook her head.

"Man the ram, break down the gate and storm this Hell Hole!" The human thundered, turning his back on her.

Turning his back upon the enemy. He thought so little of her, was so indifferent to her that he was stupid enough to turn from her. Setting her lips into a hard line she released her grip on the string. There was a sick wet sound that was beyond description as her weapon pierced the cloak, and found it's way to the chain mail that bound the plate armor together.

With surreal slowness the man slid from the saddle, the men strangled on their half uttered warnings and turned to face her. The rasp of steel coming free from it's sheath and the fall of the man's body hitting the sun baked sand was all but simultaneous.

He wasn't dead, the gold clad general, but in some tiny corner of her mind that noted everything she knew that her strike had hit spine. He was paralyzed then, from the waist down, as good as dead.

"Leave... just leave us alone!" She snarled, lifting her bow, readying another arrow.

They lifted their blades -those Silvers who saw their general "die"- and as a unit began to hack through the fence.

X

Young and old, Gifted and not, they lifted their voices in chant. That chant wavered and died as a black clad Desian cooly strolled around the corner of the strange box like building, and opened the door. There was the sound of tinkering, a hiss, and a curse. The Desian came out again and looked at the mess of bandits and half elves.

"Yo' any of you guys know how to work a magi-tech generator?"

If nothing else the looks of confusion everyone gave him was funny enough to make up for his admition of what Yuan probably thought was pure stupidity.

"No, s'cool." Z'eh slipped back into the room, his absent ramblings drifted out behind him. I'll just pull this long black thing... looks kinda like a plug. That'll kill the power... Ung... too heavy, I'll just cut it! Hey,is it supposed to smoke like that?"

The half elves looked at each other, the bandits stared blankly at the steel hut the Desian had ducked into.

There was a hiss, a click.

"What the Hell is it _this_ time?"

"Umm... I killed the power?"

"What do you want, a medal? Get into possition you jack-"

"But I've got a question.It's spitting up sparks and smoking, is that what it's supposed to do?"

"It's _what_?" Yuan's scream carried well even through the Aero whatchama call it.

"Crap!" One of the battered half elves jerked free of hisconfused captors. "Run for it! It's going to blow!"

Pandemonium ensued.Half elves muttering spells, the un-Gifted wrenching free of thier captors and fighting with thier fists.Parents were fighting thier way to thier children, then running for it. In the face of thier own confusion, and the mass half elf desperation, the bandits watched as thier captives managed to make a clean get away.

"Blow... Sylvarant slang..." Z'eh frowned, rubbing hsi head. "What's it mean again... oh yeah it short for "blow up" as like "explode"... Oh crap..."

The ex-bandit turned, stared in horror at the steel shed that was now pulsating with purple light, then turned on his heel and ran like all hell was after him.


	21. First battle: Multitask

Defiance Birth of the Renegades

_A/N: Written to Bladiator's "Tears of Contention"_

Chapter 21

"_It doesn't matter who draws first blood, final blood is the most important."_

_Kratos Aurion_

First conflict: Multi-tasking

Several things happened simultaneously. The whole fence glowed a brilliant violet hue as the metal sought to channel through and release it's power via through the paths supplied by it's compliment element. Power, having no channel, build and redoubled. Like water in a river, power carves it's path along the route of least resistance. It is shapeless, primal, pouring through it's compliments. In the end, if it is tapped into and channeled upon the world of the living it comes out in a spectacular explosion if raw potential that the Gifted can manipulate. The uneducated masses term these surges of controlled power as "spells", and the uncontrolled surges of power as "natural phenomenon". Regardless, controlled or wild, when power has no outlet it is much like a great river meeting a dam. It froths and presses against it's barrier striving for freedom, and for every moment of it's confinement it becomes a thousand time stronger.

And when it at last come tree it explodes into the unsuspecting world with a force that shakes the foundations of creation.

Signs of the overload were apparent now, to all who had eyes. If the surreal purple glow wasn't a hint the fact that the small metal thorns exploding and shooting out miniature lightening bolts most certainly was.

Taking one look at that fence, recalling Yuan's mana theory lectures, -and more importantly hearing Yuan's voice from the aero voice box screaming 'You did what!' - it took Rene all of a second to figure that something horrible had gone wrong.

Dropping bow and arrow Rene ran, even though there were screams behind her, even though there were probably people dying behind her. She didn't turn, she ran and kept running, and swore to whatever gods that were left in this twisted series of world that she wasn't going to stop until it was _safe_ to stop.

Having turned her back to run, she missed what Z'eh would later term as "this worlds most freakin' large magic show".

With a eerie silence the steel chain link fence topped with it's winding barbed wire shuddered, shimmered as if a mirage, then disappeared.

With a roar that a million thunderclaps paled before, that a million caged fierce cats screaming in unison as they hungered could not have matched, lighting reached out with shaking violet hued fingers and smashed into row upon row of knights. Wreathed in chaotic halos of sky fire horses reared, their riders screamed. Mass death, unholy destruction, it all played out in horrible silence and flickering light. For after that roar there could be no sound, and the sun itself paled before the burst of mana that was unleashed.

The first rank was vaporized, the second and third were thrown from their saddles, scorched yet not consumed, yet utterly dead. It was only the lowest of the order, those in the ranks farthest back that were not in position yet to join the melee that were spared.

Unable to cry out, unable to hear her own cry, Rene was only aware that she was moving with her feet not touching the ground, she looked down... and the ground was rushing up to greet her and end her unintended flight. She more felt than heard her own whimper, the first time she smashed into hard dirt, felt a jagged rock leave a slash along her side, then she bounced, skidded, and on the second landing... On the second landing there was a crunch, a sound akin to breaking ice. Groaning, she shuddered, felt the wave of heat even through the hundred and one magic protection spells Yuan had laid on her. She felt the second wave of heat eat _through_ those spells, and moaned as the heat of the dessert coupled with the heat of more voltage then she cared to think about smashed into her with the force of the hammer.

Groaning she managed to crawl to her knees, grateful that she could hear, grateful that it was only the silence of the world holding it's breath and not true deafness that had taken her.

And as she pulled herself to her feet, the glass that had once been sand shattered. Her every motion leaving ripples of crystalline knives in it's wake.

X

They never questioned how he had appeared among them, how the half elf who was not one of their own had magically materialized at just the right moment to command those gifted to summon walls of protective energy.

"What ever the hell you do, no water based spells. You can't use anything but water you wait until after it's over to heal those who go down."

"I don't know what I'm doing, I haven't cast spells since I was litt-"

"Well you better damned remember fast." The blue haired half elf barked. "Or it will be you, your wife, _and_ your kid fried along with everyone else."

A moment of silence, desperate straits now fully realized, terror, than terrors death. Courage came then, the courage of the desperate, courage of those with everything to lose.

"On my signal you bring up your shields, I'll merge them into one, if another explosion goes off we do the same until it ends, is that clear?"

There were no questions, no objections now, they only looked on the hissing light, watched chain after chain of fence and wire slowly dissolve with a grim anticipation.

X

"Force field... force field... force field..." Gasping Z'eh managed to barely survive the explosion, casting spell after spell until he felt so weak that an errant breeze would have knocked him over.

Then -fate being the sadistic bitch she was- the breeze shifted and he fell to his knees, uncaring about how the ground crunched under his knees.

He stared numbly at the mess of green, blue, and the writhing mess of purple lighting that was crawling over the shell of swirly green and blue.

Swirly... hehe... that was kinda funny.

He watched, unblinking eyes slowly glazing as the lightning stopped it's writhing over the bubble of many shields melded into one... then managed a giggle as it lanced through the back ranks of the knights and set the few bandits on the field to running like scattered mice.

"Wee... glowy light burns... Magic's fuuuun."

After uttering the wisest thing in his existence -at least by Yuan's book- the bandit slumped forward, and lay sprawled out on a field of glass, all thought and remains of his rattled wits abandoning him in full as he passed out.

X

"Stupid, annoying, persistent..."

The knights screaming, had gathered the remains of their order and were going to mount an all or nothing strike, luckily for the half elf captives they were pointing their assault at the base. Bits humanity - the dirty tattered tan covered portion- were fast in fleeing the field, the not so intelligent ones were going to attack the empty base.

Not so empty, the furniture, his private quarters, Rene's posetions -oh and Z'eh's crap, he's almost forgotten about the bandits various coin collections- all was going to be burned to the ground, smashed to bits, and destroyed.

So went the general practices of war.

"My... Lord..."

Yuan growled, turned, he had less then a minute to get back which meant teleporting... _again_.

"Spit it out, I'm in a rush." He snarled, pulling his swallow from it's sheath.

"What do we do, Sir?"

A _respectful_ half elf. He turned, looked the pale magic used in the eyes. Confused could sum the man up, the blonde haired half elf's eyes were squinted up. As if he had trouble seeing or something...

Later, such a minor problem could be dealt with later...

After dealing with Z'eh it seemed a miracle that such a thing as a respectful half elf existed, he spared half a second to enjoy the revelation, then spared another to glance at the shaken group of misplaced half elves. The cringing children who found final refuge in the arms of their parents. Guilt, he might not have been with the knights, or the bandits, but he had built the ranch, the ranch they had been ordered to help storm.

Gods, when would these bloody sins no longer be his to claim?

"Stay here, if a problem comes up scream or something... I'll come as fast as I can."

_Real smooth Yuan, graceful, eloquent... Spoken like a true Hero of the Kharlan Wars..._

These weren't the wars, it wasn't about image anymore. Gritting his teeth, bracing himself to shed his flesh and become light and in essence "materialize" amongst the enemy in a split second Yuan let out a soft whimper.

He had to protest the utter lunacy of this some way, and if a whimper was unmanly, or unheroic... Gods damn this world to hell... and the torturous maturity it had thrust upon him.

There was a flash of light, a startled cry from the once captives... then their savior was gone, only one lone feather drifted to the ground to mark that he had been their at all.

X

Screaming Rene sloughed forward, solid appearing glass giving way to the molten sand underneath. She yalped in pain, even as she braced, even as she caught the riders sword with her own and was thrown back. Hooves smashed, leaving a rain or cherry red sand behind, a spray of false ice... She rolled with the hit, both arms numbed in blocking the strike. Thank the Goddess that the horse was slowed by the agony in it's hoofed feet, thank the Goddess the man was tired, scared, and weakened by such things... thank whoever was above watching her this strike hadn't killed her.

The next one most certainly would, she wasn't going to sit around and wait. She heard more then saw the man wheel his horse around, the shattering of glass, the gasps of equine pain...

She lifted a hand and released the power in her, fire streamed from her fingers, a crimson wave that arched then settled mere inches in front of the human.

And he laughed, laughed at the demon lights, he laughed... then screamed as the earth bucked, heaved, and let loose a crimson rain that left a black sizzling mark.

Wailing the man ran, his horse missing most of it's face, the man missing most of his legs... she shuddered, trying not to see it, trying to let the mana sight take her far away.

And while it did, while it blinded her eyes it could not stuff her ears of her nose.

She wanted to gag as she had the first fight, wanted to lose control, give into sickness, weakness. She couldn't didn't dare, Z'eh could be dead out there, Yuan was probably helping the other half elves -she'd have to find Z'eh after this and take him back or Yuan would just leave him out here. Ung, stupid men and their squabbling, they were almost as bad as humans!-, so she was alone and...

There was a flash of light, she blinked, then there was Yuan besides her, glaring daggers at the Silvers.

"I guess the words "give up to fight another day" never occurred to these ones, eh?"

And despite the grimness of the situation Rene smiled, nearly hugged him. Serious, angry, Yuan was all those things. But he was back, and that was all that mattered.

"Go inside, prep the medical centers, I've got the last of them. There's a few wounded down there, all of them are in various stages of dehydration, mana depletion..."

Rene nodded, ran back to the base, never once turning back, never needing to turn back. Because she knew that he would handle it.

Everything would be fine, just like he promised, he would make everything fine...

As if sensing his thoughts he turned to look back at her, then sighed and began to twirl his swallow, the steady yet fast rhythm would bring the spells to his mind a little quicker.

And in war, this new and strange war he had stumbled into, it seemed as if speed was the thing.


	22. After a war: Numbers thirty ten a Second

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 22

Numbers: thirty, ten, a Second.

"_This society built on victimization and sadism must stop. For the world to be truly saved we have to stop buying these easy answers all clothed in angel feathers and holy light and open our eyes to see for ourselves."_

_Rene Vor'esse_

_AN: A fast little chapter, a pre-work treat for me, an update for you! Enjoy guys_.

Time slid back for him, stopped it's agonizing crawl forward and sped back. Years once little more than a counter to world's end, seasons once little more then the reason why some stars were more prominent than others, had gained meaning now that they held memories. Memories of life, of hope, desperation that only protection in impossible odds could give... Time had meaning, so watching the years flit backwards brought for once reaction. The experience was shockingly human... or rather his reaction to these memories was actually humane and mortal... Nostalgia struck him, an aching for a simpler time.

Simplicity had left him, long ago it seemed, an eternity ago... but gone too was the emptiness.

And for that complexity was well worth it's pain, and it's mass of headaches.

_Small hands holding a paper, childish hands had written in an unchildish hand words of a contract. _

"_Sign." A paper was thrust into his face._

"_What is it?" Yuan set aside the book he was reading, and was shocked when Rene (who had clambered onto his desk to thrust said paper in his face) put her hands over the script._

"_Just write your name on the bottom." She ordered._

_Suspicion flared in him, his eyes hardened and his lips pressed into a thin little line._

"_Not until I read it."_

"_Please Yuaaan!"_

"_Not this time, young miss." The Seraph said cooly. "I know that tone, and with your actions I know that I'm not going to like what I'm signing... Hand it over, now."_

_She did so, and he spent all of ten seconds reading. He set the page down and glared and Rene didn't back down. She was strong enough, he decided. Strong enough to see his reaction, especially since it was by her action she'd provoked it. Rage flashed in his eyes, unbridled hate, he snarled and tossed the paper aside. _

"_Hell no."_

"_I know what you did, Z'eh told me." Rene snapped. "You weren't fighting bandits, were you Yuan?"_

_And she had him, by the throat. He stared at her, startled by the hate in her tone. It wasn't directed at him exactly... but it was directed at something he had done. And how easy, how simple it would have been for her to link hate to the action preformed to the person preforming it. He stood at the knifes edge, fail her again and she might turn on him..._

"_Get the paper." Yuan sighed, lowering his eyes in shame. "I'll sign."_

"God damned, pain in the ass..." Yuan hissed as his feet smashing through the glass, molten red sands heating his iron plate boots, heat he couldn't feel but could see in the form of little snakes of black smoke that coiled out from where the boot was loose around his ankle.

Yet another damned pair of socks and boots gone, how many had he gone through, three, four since this fiasco with Rene and Z'eh had started? He'd lost count. Finally seeing the crumpled form of the bandit he growled a few colorful expletives. He wasn't dead, but the man's mana levels were low, low enough to put him in a stupor.

The man was giggling like a drunk, oblivious to the hundred and one small burns that covered his frame and oblivious to the fact that his "desian" outfit was little more then scraps and ashes.

Snarling, ignoring the singing, Yuan slung the half elf over his shoulder and began the grim march back to the base.

"Must not kill Z'eh, first clause in contract... must not kill Z'eh. Rene will kill me if I kill him... Don't think about the generator... or the fence... or the fact that all the glass in the field will be needed to be dug out... or the cost... or..."

His chant wasn't improving his mood, and the idea of Rene trying to kill him wasn't looking all that bad stacked up to Z'eh's expensive cost of continued existence. If nothing else killing the bastard would keep crap like this from happening again...

He stopped, halfway back he stopped and considered. Then with a grin tossed Z'eh to the ground -ignoring the mana deprived aka "drunken" yowl of pain- and grabbed the man's ankles to better drag him back.

Seraphim after all had limits, they got tired, worn out, and Rene didn't have to know that he wasn't feeling fine. The annoying twinge of weakness could be... acted out a little more, and petty vengeance would be his.

In short he had his loophole.

"Look, a sharp rock." He told the dazed man. "It's in the way... ah well, it shouldn't hurt that much to go over it, and I am so very tired that I couldn't drag you around it. That isn't a problem is it?"

Z'eh giggled, nodded, not understanding a word that was said.

Still, agreement was agreement, and Yuan wasn't going to quibble over details.

X

"Glass had to be surgically removed from his..." Rubbing her eyes the half elf with a hint of medical background looked over one of her last patients. The man she looked over was wrapped in blankets for the sake of decency. Lying on a sterilized table, the magi warrior that the blue haired half elf had dragged in was something of a unique case. After mentally fumbling, she conceded that there was no tactful way to give her diagnosis. "-ass."

"What a shame." The regal looking half elf murmured.

"It was rammed in-"

"Accidents happen." The blue haired half blood said cooly.

"-with a _rock_."

"You can't prove that."

"No, I can't." The woman growled. "I don't appreciate being given more work to do."

Yuan smirked. "Did you find a rod in their, while preforming surgery?"

"No." The woman's lips quirked, despite herself she flashed the caped half elf a smile. "But if I see it next time I will remove it. Also, I have some medicines for you to take."

"I'm hardly ill." The blue haired half elf assured her.

"Laxatives, to more comfortably remove the rod in _you_r ass."

"Thank you, so very much." Yuan hissed, he took the bottle and sniffed it. "Ung, castor oil?"

She rose an eyebrow and the blue haired elf smirked, knowing very well how his knowledge sounded. "I'm not that old. My wife tried to cook with the stuff, that's how I recognized it."

"First hand experience eh? Poor you."

He made a face, watched with detached interest as the rag clothed woman walked to the sink and washed the blood off of her gloves. He studied her, aqua hued hair with streaks of brown, the clash of her blood was made obvious in the clash of the hue of her hair. The points of her ears were minimal, the slant of her eyes non-existent.

"Strange, to see a half elf with any education." He hazarded.

"I was always fascinated by plants, as a child. A local herbalist didn't know I was a half elf, so she taught me. I dyed my hair, to hide what I was, and enrolled in PalmaCosta's academy, they found me out, and I was exiled..."

Yuan looked at the woman, long and hard, considered as he had considered all the others laid out on the sick beds. His soul not totally consumed with the icy calculation of his Seraph existence, his heart not strong enough to inspire him to act wholly on this strange mortal instinct that had found root in the sterile ground of his soul.

"How would you like to continue your studies? I have text, materials, and need for a doctor."

"Will you be taking them all in?" She asked as she reached out and turned the faucet. The stream of water died, and the only sounds in the medical wing was the sounds of those healing sleeping, a few errant snores, and the occasional moan of pain.

"Only those who wish to stay."

"I think you'll fine that they all want to stay. They have no place to go, no other sanctuary."

"No other _prison_, you mean." Yuan spat, he turned on his heal, his torn and blood splattered cape whispered behind him.

"It's the same, sanctuary and prison are the same, but in this world it is the grace of such places that we preserver."

Yuan grunted. "A cowards answer."

"Not everyone has the courage to stand against a world, not when the foundation they are is riddled with flaws."

"You presume. You presume that half elves are flawed, you presume the very blood that runs through your veins is poison."

She shifted, uncomfortable, and he had to wonder how many others were like this. So hopeless, so pathetic, that they just gave up and bought all the lies. He wondered how many mirrors he was going to run into. How many more eyes and voices were going to spew all the trash he had bought and reflect his weakness and cowardice back at him?

"How many cities are you going to burn, how many people are you going to kill until your self defeating hubris sends you and everyone with you spiraling down to hell?"

Lightning flashed across his fingers, he clenched them to hide the hint of power. To hide his very unCruxis lack of control that others would have called emotion. Her words were a spark, a flash of sky fire across a drought choked field.

"Open your eyes woman, and tell the others to do the same!" He hissed. Turning to look at her, the vemon in his eyes made her cringe back. "Stop buying the damned victim complex Cruxis has rammed down your throats. Use your eyes, your minds. Do you see one human slave here, do you see anyone else besides myself, my guard, and a girl? What does that tell you?"

She stared at him, eyes wide, fear apparent, and he snarled in disgust and left her to tend the wounded.

X

"I made a... a sign sheet and circulated it among the sick room this morning.."

Yuan sighed, lifted his head to stare at his charge. So young, yet so old. She'd seen too much blood, too much pain, and Gods damn it all he was the cause of it. Shelving his guilt Yuan pushed the pain away, and looked at her. Let his eyes communicate his curiosity, he didn't quite trust his voice at the moment. The torrent and torment that mortals called emotion might well warp what he meant to say, and he might let slip what he was really thinking.

"A sheet, one with options..." She waved the page and Yuan followed it with his eyes. "Stay or go, I told everyone that if they wanted to leave supplies would be provided, transportation, escort, that way they'd be safe, at least until they got to where they wanted to go..."

"And?"

She handed the paper to him at last, and he picked it up, skimmed the contents, and stopped breathing.

"No..." Yuan looked up at Rene, looked at her, horror shining in his eyes. "_All_ of them?"

"I guess so." She frowned. "We don't have enough food, enough supplies. Not for thirty three adults and ten children."

Gods, oh gods... He shook his head, tried to tell himself it was a dream, a bad dream.

Yet Seraph never slept and therefore could never dream...

"Go through their number, find any with hunting skills and get them sped healed. I want them out immediately getting food. I'll contact the other Ranches, we'll have them ship in supplies until we're self sufficient." Frowning Yuan tapped his fingers together. "Take Z'eh, go down to Triet, buy food stuffs, clothes, bedding. Whatever's available, pokadoted and striped tunics and pants if you have no choice, vanity can wait."

"Yes, Yuan." She bowed. "But with what mone-"

"The Ranch has funds, use those, and don't go too crazy with it." His lips quirked into a smile. "And no buying a damned cat, you bring one back I'll have a new welcome rug the second I see it, is that clear?"

"Crystal clear, Yuan." Rene's lips quirked into a smile, her smile so much like his own now.

Nothing like Martel's, she was too cynical, to intent to be anything like Martel...

"Move it, Second, and I'll take no excuse for failure, is that clear?"

"Yes- What, S... Second?"

"I'm establishing a military command in this Ranch. More people demands more rules. I'll draw up a list on conduct and schedules once I get a better feel for those we've just _adopted_." Yuan took a deep breath, and he let it out slowly. "They need to know the truth, of the worlds, of Cruxis... but survival first, enlightenment second."

"Yes... Yuan."

"They are our responsibility Rene, not just mine now, but yours as well." Yuan looked into her eyes, demanding truth without words, piercing mind and soul with his intensity.

She matched it, his icy intensity with her fire.

"Are you up to it?"

She straightened, dropping her relaxed slouch she looked in straight into his eyes and placed her hand over her heart. A quick bow, a respectful motion, not worship, but to give honor to one admired. An ancient motion, an archaic gesture, all but forgotten to this modern world.

"Yes, Sir!"

"Good, move out."

He watched her leave, an image of power, one meant to garner respect, and the second the door hissed closed and locked he shuddered and sank down into his chair. Closing his eyes he abandoned his illusion, his final mask of control, of strength. Burying his face into his hands he wept, making Cruxis little more then a pack of lies. For his sobs were not dry, thin streams of water seeped from his eyes, and traced translucent paths down his dusty, blood covered, gloved, hands.


	23. supply run

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 23

The first step, awkward

_A/N: A bit of humor and some serious implications as everything comes together with just a bit more speed..._

_I play by the rules to a point, but normally I twist and turny 'em around to suit me by games end._

_Z'eh_

"My ass hurts." Z'eh growled as he shifted around in the saddle. "How the hell did glass get shoved into my butt?"

Rene bit her lip, refrained from saying that Yuan might have had something to do with Z'eh's current discomfort. She also did it to keep from laughing as the horse let out a smug whicker and went into a bone jarring trot. Nudging the sides of he animal Rene encouraged her horse to keep up, and tried not to let the guilt of knowing that these new horses had once belonged to some Iselia human bother her over much.

Compliments of the Iselia Ranch, from a well wishing Desian Cardinal trying to sneak his way into Yuan's good graces.

Of course, as Yuan would say... the key world to all this business would be _trying_.

X

Half elves flipped through the pages of the books he had supplied, a few frowns told him that not all were literate, but that was completely expected. He'd be soon going over every page of the pamphlet he'd provided, in very long tedious detail. Feeling a bit self conscious he twined his fingers together, felt a lightness in his gut (somewhere around the vicinity of his stomach) and an unfamiliar wetness building underneath is gloves. Gods damn it, Rene would be pleased to say the least, would be pleased to see his mortality tickling back into him like water tricked into a once broken vase.

And broken he had been, the ice of Mithos' dreams had seeped into him and shattered his fragile soul and only Rene's warmth and presence (and annoying perseverance) had made him pick up the pieces and reforge that which was broke. While his hunger was forever elusive, and slumber still lost to him, he discovered that he had dreamed. His life had been a dream, a thing of mist and fancy. What an idiot was he to believe that Martel could fix all of this, could fix these twisted warped world, that she could fix him.

_Sorry Love, but there is no way in Hell you can fix this. Considering the first step would be fixing your Brother and all I want to do him is slash his angelic throat._

He stood, his black cape whispered around his ankles, and he rapped his knuckles on the table. The sound was thunderous. It roared over the whisper of papers being turned, over the quiet murmur of the mortal's speculations. To add even more volume onto the mana enhanced sound waves it smashed into the vaulted ceiling and blasted down into the unsuspecting ears of various levels of pointiness. And sensitivity... never forget that pointed ears were the most sensitive, that they picked up a hundred times more then human ears. Wincing, he acknowledged the sensation that was so much like pain yet was not. He wallowed for a moment in the baseness mortal sensation, then taking a deep breath discarded it and waited.

All eyes were on him, good.

"You were all given an important decision to make, and all in this room have made the same one. In the case of all decisions there are consequences, you are now looking at them. Your lives were simple, living on the fringes of a society that hated you, you had choices, decisions. You could have chosen to fallen into their game of hate. All towns have links to a Desian Ranch, members of that order comb every town, city, and piles of squalor looking for candidates for their order."

Yuan let his eyes slid over those before him.

"Not one of you hasn't been contacted, a very small minority have only been spoken to once, others have been approached multiple times in their lives, and your answer has been the same. You've denied them, and in denying you defied. Disgusted at your spineless attitudes you were abandoned. When the Ranch Masters knew that the Silvers were going through every town to gather half elves to aid in the world wide assault against all the Ranches you were left unprotected."

There was a growl, a grumble of hate from all present, accusing eyes focused on him, and he smirked back at the face of all that hate. Ironic, he'd have expected half elven hate to feel... different. Yet hate was hate, no matter it's source, it reeked, and he smiled into it, like always.

"This facility has been in existence for less than half a year. Knowledge of the strikes came long before that, yes, there were plans made, supplies and soldiers shipped to the various towns and hostages gathered... I was ignorant of them, attending my own affairs I strived to make no contact with the other Ranch Masters. This building didn't spring up overnight after all, and with myself, a girl, and a bandit on hand maintaining it was difficult as all Hells. Had I known I would have acted, I'd have stopped the silvers before they even made it to Triet, would have fought off the bandits."

"What, by killing them?" Sneered a voice from the back, Yuan's eyes glinted, fixed on that speaker.

"_No_, I would have told them the true reason of this ranch, and if they had not turned back I would have made their lives hell until they did. Destroying supplies, driving off animals, customary guerilla tactics that I could spend a good number of hours naming and only those with education would recognize."

"You said something, a true purpose..." He recognized the voice, his eyes easily settled on the doctor who'd tended Z'eh.

"I don't play their game, the slaughtering, the murder... that's not to my tastes."

Yuan paused to let his words sink in.

"I think, and correct me of I'm wrong-" The Seraph's lips quirked into something more like a true smile, and less like the grim curl of lips he had flashed into the hateful visage of hundreds of humans and elves for as long as he'd lived. "-but senseless massacre isn't much to your preference either. If it is, I'll transfer you, if it isn't you may stay."

"We have families, reasons for living." A woman snapped. "You can't have families and... be like that."

"You can." He corrected her gently. "Humans have them, else they'd have died out long ago, so would have the Desian's, the dwarves, and those of even more split bloods than the mere half and half complex we're all suffering from."

Yuan made a mound of his hands, it's ridges of wrinkled leather, it's paths his twined fingers. Leaning forwards he let his eyes close to slits.

"I am not the most gentle of men. You had lives, choices, and now I will take them all away. You once were only people with only your names and the clothes on your back. Do without the half elf way... I will provide more then just clothes, but in exchange you must do tasks as well as just _be_. You will acquire titles, duties, all inglorious, and you will no longer be lead by yourselves and your whim but mine and those I've assigned to be under my command."

"Slaves." Someone growled from the back.

"No, I would not provide slaves with clothes, food, or options as I provide you with now. You will be free, but bound. Again, if you have a problem you may leave, either transferred to a Ranch or... well the door's that way." Yuan pointed cooly to the back of the room. "You're free to use it, at anytime."

"Our children?"

"When they come of age the will have the same options." Yuan promised. "Neither will I order you to abandon them or make them forsake their childhoods. There will be facilities for them to use, areas where they will be supervised, supervision will be shifted of course, parents will take turns as they will be trained in the various tasks that suit them."

Instead of comfort his words brought questions, voices rose, some shrill others thoughtful, curious...

"How will that work?"

"I don't want to leave-"

"Who the hell thought up this crap?"

Only the fact that he'd been (and still was) a parent allowed him the patience to weather through the assault of sound that the mortals made and not take a more pleasant course of just barking orders and throwing spells.

Fear would only take him so far, ruling by fear would limit those under him, anxiety like any disease could in one extreme kill and on the other cause mistakes. Mistakes could be fatal, and he wanted -if nothing else- to avoid more death.

So he'd take the hard path, because the man who'd once said that hate was easy to maintain and friendship was the devil's own effort in gaining and maintaining but all the more valuable for it's struggle was right.

X

"He's going to kill you." Z'eh grunted. He looked up from watching the horses backs as they plodded back to the base. Infinitely more comfortable now that he rested in the cushioned seat of the wagon that Rene had spotted and bartered for. The two half elves were going back to the base in a somewhat quaint style, still the ton of food, clothes, and gels that they were carrying back it was the only practical solution. He looked at the money pouch that'd been put in the seat next to him, freeing one hand from the reins of the cart he gently pulled it a little closer. Even as his fingers tugged the strings he remembered. He'd been there, through the famed "cat war" the distant time that was the heart of Rene's childhood when day in and day out the Seraph and half elf would fight and squabble over Rene owning a pet.

"He said don't get a cat, he never said anything about a kitten." Rene chirped from the dubious comfort of her trotting horse.

The squirming bundle in the burlap sack mewed helplessly, still not quite aware of what had happened after the horse had born down on it and a green haired woman had squealed and picked him up from the dusty earth.

"You're just twistin' his words around girl, he's gunna skin you."

"No he won't."

"It's traumatized."

"Mr. Meow Jr, is fine, thank you very much." Rene sniffed. "The children will like having a pet."

"Mister... Meow... Junior?" Z'eh snorted.

"Shut up." Rene growled. "It's a good name."

Z'eh sniggered, the strings gave way and he ignored Rene as she baby talked to the poor creature in the sack. Gald coins, clarvik, and shein coins glittered in the what little sunlight managed to sneak into the opening of the sack. Grinning, for clarvik were worth one hundred pieces of gald and shein were worth a thousand Z'eh licked his lips. If Yuan had that much money maybe he wouldn't miss a coin or two...

He reached into the sack, and his hands closed over something that was not flat or metallic... actually it was kind of warm and round, and it squirmed under his fingers like a lightning or-

X

Frowning Yuan turned to stare out at a window that wasn't there... his extended time in the mess hall (spent answering a hundred and one questions) turned meeting room he'd grown accustomed to windows to look out of. Now, back in the comforting silence of his office he turned to the direction of the mana discharge, half expecting to be able to see what had set it off. Then he remembered, and his eyes hardened.

He'd slipped a ward in Rene's money pouch, and if anyone's hand other than her's went into it the discharge of electric mana would make them think of ever picking a pocket ever again.

He growled, considered drawing his wings and flying off to Triet, to see if he could catch the thief. And more importantly to see if Rene needed him, to see if she had gone over her head and needed saving... With a frustrated sigh he forced himself to sit, forced himself to loosen the death grip on the chairs' arms and silently seethe. He had to trust her, in her judgement, in her swords skills...

He'd trained her after all, she was one of his best, practically raised by him. She should be prepared for just about anything...

Still it was the _fact_ that he'd raised her that caused him the most pain. Looking at her rose a chaotic mess of concern, pride, confusion, and warmth that a mortal might have called love.

She had an hour -he decided- one hour to get back, then if she wasn't he'd just quietly disappear from the base for a little and come back dragging his Second back by the hair if need be.

X

"Ow..." Z'eh whimpered, starlets of violet swirled around the charred and frayed ends of his now black locks.

"Z'eh!" Rene groaned. "What in Volt's name did you think you were doing!"

"Something... smart..." The half elf croaked. "Ow..."

"Stealing from Yuan... is _smart_?" Rene snorted. "I think the words stupid, suicidal, and painful, more or less sums that idea up."

"When'd start to you take his side all the time?" Z'eh whined.

"When he started being right almost all the time." Rene grunted. "You know... I used to think that you were smarter..."

"Thanks." Z'eh let his eyes slide closed.

"Key words being "used to"." Rene sighed. "Oh well, you can be cover, for me when I sneak the cat in. After all, if Yuan's yelling at you he won't notice me too much."

Grinning at the pale and shaking Z'eh, Rene wheeled her horse in, looked up at the shimmering dome of steel and blue and white topaz. It looked like a piece of sky cut out and made solid, it looked like home. She chuckled as she caught sight of a flash of pink, so Yuan was actually flying down to greet them, he must be really worried than...

Poor Z'eh, after Yuan figured out what had happened he'd be stuck doing porter duty for a month, and now with so many more people in the Base... Well scrubbing out toilets wasn't too bad when they weren't being used but now that they were Z'eh's life was going to be miserable.

Yuan would make sure of it.

"Yuan verses Z'eh, round five hundred and four." Rene sighed. "Something tells me Yuan's going to win again."

"Don't put your money on it pretty." Z'eh grunted. "That old dog might be sly, but this yong fox 'ill give him a run for his money."

Rene kept her "I doubt it" purely internal, and stuffed the sack and it's yowling occupant in the bottom of her packs. Hopefully Yuan wouldn't notice, or there was going to be a three way fight, because knowing Z'eh -when he saw the punishment coming- he'd try to drag her down with him to avoid the worst of it.


	24. Awakening

Defiance Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 24

Defiance: Awakening

"_All life is tainted, all resistence must fall, all measures are acceptable. Kill the rebellious, the wise, those with sight, and leave me the sheep so that I may be a better shepherd and not contend with wolves hiding in my flock."_

_Lord Yggdrasil_

Rene groaned, rubbed at her temples even as she threw the covers aside. One shouldn't be waking up with headaches, not with the help of say... booze. Oh the wonders of beer. Along with a number of people her own age -and all of them aching to break every rule Yuan had laid down- she had become familiar with beer, wine, and all the other alcoholic substances that Yuan had ordered banned from his base. Well, this time it wasn't a hang over that was the cause of her current state, rather her suffering was born from the fact that she'd only snatched six hours of sleep between feverish readings of report after endless report.

She missed her childhood, she missed her adolescence -which Yuan had allowed her to have for all of a week before summoning her to his office and yelling at her over it-, she missed the simpler times...

But time wouldn't go back, this was consequence, consequence for knowing, consequence for being.

It wasn't fair, but than life never was.

Gods damn it, she hated this maturity to the nine hells...

Anger made the pain in her skull peak, she grumbled, flicked the light switched in her room... and winced as the magi-teck lights flashed into full glorious sun worthy light.

Then she cursed, as with a soft 'dink' the thin wire in the heart of the glass container broke and the room was plunged into mid-night (or rather pre-dawn) gloom.

Today was going to be a very bad day.

As if to agree the alarm went off and started howling, and poor MMJ (Mr. Merow Junior's new name, the children hadn't liked hers) who had been curled around it sleeping let out a yowl and shot across the room screaming in terror.

Moaning Rene wanted to crawl back under the covers, pull the pillow over her head, and just give up. The world had won, she was down already and hadn't done anything to warrant the kicking she was getting...

There was a hum, a click, and a meek voice came from her aero voice transmitter.

"Rene, this is Vryce, from the paperwork depo... we really need you down here, Lord Vor'esse..."

"God's damn it-" Rene fumbled and found the device, and turned it on and pressed it to her ear.. "-what did he indignation judgment _now_."

"Nothing, he just took some documents to read them, and said he wanted to hold a meeting about them."

Rene cursed, she'd have to juggle her schedule around again to accommodate this meeting...

Snarling an oath she summoned a fireball and blasted the still howling time piece with it's still shrieking alarm. Nothing, she decided, was sweeter than the smell of burnt plastic that morning. By the mana born conflagration she saw well enough to stagger to her closet. She ripped it open, pulled out her usual outfit... Or uniform, gods damn Yuan and his military protocol. Still it had it's benefits, it kept order in a situation that might of well degenerated to pure chaos. Tossing her robe aside Rene fumbled to keep the AVT to her face and somehow work the pants on at the same time. Vryce, snickered, knowing damned well what she was trying to do.

"I have ten Gald on it that you fall, Supply says you won't, and the Weapon's Master doesn't believe you capable of having one scrap of responsibility much less working yourself to near death on a day to day basis like the rest of us know you do." Vryce cheerfully chirped.

"Sub-commander secretary, Vryce, shut up." Rene growled, pulling the white pants up and reaching for her belt. "And I swear, Z'eh needs to grow up."

"Yes, Ma'am, agreed on both counts."

"You know, you just told yourself to shut up, right?" There was a click, silver belt buckle was not closed over the dark leather strip that wound around her waist. She reached in the orange streaked dark, pulled down a tunic and tossed it over her shoulder onto the bed.

"Lord Vor'esse does it all the time." Vryce admitted with a chuckled. "I'll have coffee on hand for the three of us, bring the food."

Fine, I'll handle the food, but don't expect any bacon and eggs, I hate bacon and eggs... And pay Supply Master Klarn this time, you lost your bet."

"Damn it..."

"And don't forget the sugar and milk, you know I can't drink the stuff straight up."

"He hee..."

"And you switch the sugar with salt like you did last week I'll kill you, slow."

"Who'd sort your paperwork for you then?"

"The paper shredder." Rene growled.

"Point taken, lots of sugar, milk, and coffee will be on hand with no pranks on my end, _yashkan_-desian's honor."

"And who's been teaching you angelic? You just contradicted yourself right now, you did know that right?"

"Well excuse me for learning by listening to you and your Father chat up a storm in the "holy" tongue." Vryce gambled.

"_Yashkan-desian_, means a lying desian. _Yashin desian _means a false desian. Now make the coffee, I'll be up in a bit."

"Yes your grouchiness... er Second Rene."

Rene closed the AVT before the half elf on the other line would say something even more outrageous to keep her talking. If she had someone to bet with she'd have wagered that besides the "falling" bet Vryce had another going, to keep her on the phone for an hour just talking...

The AVT hummed and clicked even as Rene threw it onto the bed, she waited, swearing if it was Vryce she'd fry the damn thing to get some peace...

"Rene, this is Yuan. I know it's early but the second you are up I need you and all the sub-commanders to report to my off-"

Rene lunged at the bed, snatched the device up in her hands and opened it.

"Yuan!"

"Rene... no need to yell."

His voice was distant, knowing his sensitivity to both mana and sound she could see him in her mind... His face scrunched up in pain at her loudness, gingerly holding the device a few inches from his pointed ears, taking utmost care that none of his skin only the leather glove was touching the thing.

"Sorry, I got excited."

"An ailment of the young." Yuan teased. "You'll outgrow it, one of these days."

Not an ailment of mortals, he never spoke of mortals as if they were his lesser, not anymore. Rarely, in moments of vulnerability -moments only she was privileged to see- he admitted to envy, envy of those who could sleep, could taste, did not spend every moment of their existence struggling to live and remember how to live and feel with both heart and mind...

"Could you make it Vryce's office?" Rene also relaxed, allowed him to hear the plaintive whine in her tone.

"Painting of the Kharlan war I spent a fortune on creeping the underlings out."

"No." Rene snorted. "Vryce has coffee."

"Ah, the secret mana of life, coffee..."

Rene sighed, she knew that tone and it's faint hint of fear. "I promise I won't make you drink any, alright?"

"It's not that... it's just..."

"Just?" Rene prompted.

"Could you do something about that damned girl who's been haunting my hall like a ghost? I can't get out... without her _staring_ at me."

"Have your guard..."

"Morning guard is Mer. Kylin, Ms. Kerrin's older brother. He won't drive her off because a) I won't let him, his mother would kill me for giving that order and b) he has some level of self preservation unlike most of the other boys in this Ranch and he damned well knows his mother would kill him if he followed that order."

Rene's lips twitched, there were days, horrible boring days when stress and paperwork seemed like too much for her to handle... Then there were mornings like this...

She wouldn't have traded her position for any other in the world.

"She's from Luin." Yuan growled as Rene started to snigger. "Women are trained to bring their girls up for status marriage, it seems as if Ms. Kerrin's mother has high expectations for her girl."

Rene started to choke, as she fought the laughter down.

"Damn it Rene, I don't want to have to yell at a ten year old girl to make her go away!"

Helpless, Rene let the device fall from her hands and held her gut while she laughed. Snarling an oath, Yuan turned off his device. Leaving Rene in the darkness of her room where she howled with mirth.

X

Yuan rose an eyebrow, elegant, silent, yet utter lethal, even standing still he radiated these things. That image would however be dampened if he took the bundle Rene was offering. He stared at the mess of foods, slices of bread so thin they were folded, a handful of jams (made from the cactus fruit that the hunters in the base gathered) turned slices into make shift pasteries, there were some crackers imported from the other world -with slices of cheese resting besides them-, and a handful of empty bowls and small air tight plastic packages sitting in the cusp of the top most bowl...

He wanted to know what was in the pouches, almost asked, but the tray was thrust into his stomach. Instinct made him reach out, catch it before it fell, and eating utensils and bowls rattled alarmingly as he struggled for his balance. Oblivious to his trial Rene picked up the glass jug of milk that she must have rolled from mess hall to his office with several kicks, and turned on here heel.

"Vryce moved his office last week." Rene told him. "I'll show you the way."

Yuan glared at his Second, he damned well knew where Vryce's office was, he'd signed the papers allowing the move to take place. She was taking point to avoid having him give her back the tray.

Cunning, sadistic, little brat...

Just like him, he didn't know if he should be very proud or very worried.

"Where's my little stalker?" Yuan asked, craining his neck to the empty spot where the girl normally would have been.

"I told her you were married, and like a good Luin girl she was deeply ashamed of having tried to court a married man. She'd be here begging forgiveness but I talked her out of it, expect her mother to be by though. She'll be mad that you didn't tell her girl sooner."

Yuan groaned.

"I can't keep everyone from getting mad at you." Rene smirked. "She let a little something slip though, and I wouldn't be act too relieved that this fiasco is over. That -if my sources are right- was the first of many attempts to come."

"What did she say?" Yuan whimpered.

"That ever nurse in the medical staff that Miss. Feruon picked has a crush on you, they have something of a club going on-"

Yuan nearly screamed, remembering the groups of ladies who'd swarmed him after the Kharlan war, their attention, clumsy courting efforts... Kratos had once gotten so annoyed he'd drawn sword on them, driven them off so Yuan and Martel could have some peace...

"- and Feruon, the woman who tended everyone and trained the rest of the doctors after you dubbed her competent,-"

"The woman who treated Z'eh." Yuan nodded, remembering the woman and her wit with a faint smile.

"-is president."

Yuan stopped, the smile fell from his face and he shuddered.

"No!"

"Yes."

"You're trotting out tales!"

"Me? Well if you doubt it feel free to attend a meeting, the woman would appreciate it."

"Bite your tongue!" Yuan growled.

"You know..." Rene purred. "You might want to ask yourself about what happened to that cape that got "lost" in the laundry."

Yuan's eyes bulged in horror as the possibilities came to him, and Rene giggled. His cape, on an altar, rabid star eyed girls fawning over it, wasting dreams on him...

"Congratulations, Second." Yuan said in a tight voice. "You've made me feel sick to my stomach, horrified, and shaken to my core, all in one morning."

"All in a days work."

X

"This is... most unusual my L... Lord." Vryce murmured, bowing to the black caped Ranch Master.

"The resources for an early morning meeting of this urgency were on hand here, and I'd rather not carry the food back to my office." Yuan said cooly, placing the tray on Vryce's hastily cleared desk. Yuan ignored how Rene squealed and pounced on an unsuspecting cup of coffee, and then snatched up a sugur cube for her drink. When the other men and women in the room moved to do much the same Yuan cleared his throat, and they stopped.

Rather funny, to see five full grown men and women freeze with their hands outstretched for breakfast. He squelched the small humored grin he felt forming on his lips, and nodded to them.

"Please, ladies, gentlemen, you will be needing to sit as I have something first to show then to explain... The showing won't be pleasant, and you do not want to have eaten beforehand."

Rene's mouth sagged open, Z'eh hastily put the jelly sandwich he'd swiped back.

"Yer not gunna..."

"It's needed. Yggdrasil is sending a force of his elite to both worlds to preform a mass genocide of any military orders that the flourishing and declining worlds may harbor. They must know... everything."

"Wait a durned minute-" Growled Clavk, head of the supply depo. He was a sturdy half blood. More human than elf, a large bovine man with dark liquid eyes. Practical, almost as wise and far seeing as Yuan, those traits had gotten him culled out of the militant branch of the Ranch and put to tasks that suited the development of his mind and the Ranches skimpy resources. If any man could be attributed to the Ranches new wealth it would have been Yuan who was first to point to Clavk and given the man all the credit. He turned to Rene. "-you're in on this young Miss?"

"She's my Second, and allowed into my deepest confidence." Yuan growled, and Clavk turned to his superior officer and made a quick bow to apologize.

"So was I." Z'eh grunted.

Yuan's pointed ear twitched ever so slightly, as he caught the faint emphases on the past tense word "was". His ears movement was the remains of a childhood habit that always betrayed his interest in something. His hair was long enough to hide it, the main reason he'd grown it this long actually...

"You weren't promoted because you and Yuan would kill each other if you were left in the same room with each other for a minute, and the whole base knows that too." Feruon hissed.

"Aye to that." Growled Clavk, anger making him lapse fully and revert to his Izoold accent. "An' all know that the reason his Lordship don't let weapons in meetings, _Armsmaster_, is for fear yer temper would cause... problems."

"And death, destruction, slashes on the desks, mauled paperwork..." Murmured the more elf than human sage, Yashin. "Detrimental to progress and our projects."

"And your precious Rheiard reconstruction Project?" Z'eh growled.

"Perhaps, and perhaps you would find silence the best avenue of action, Mer. Z'eh."

It was the most conversation Yashin had ever offered to any of the meetings to far, and the closest that icy tone had ever come to express some anger. Yuan hear Rene whistle in appreciation of the arctic cold anger in Yashin's tone. Hearing the sound the snow white silver haired half elf let his lips curl on one side.

"One day we will have the capability of flight, and the Desian's will quake from our might." Yashin murmured.

"You just rhymed..." Clavk grumbled.

"I do that sometimes."

Vryce snorted. "_That_ was a near rhymn, ladies and gentlemen..."

"Actually the proper term would be-"

Yuan rubbed at his temples, and cast a lightning bolt against the ceiling. Rene squeaked dropped her cup and ducked behind the chair, Z'eh did much the same thing, and the other sub-commanders looked on in confusion.

"I'm not casting indignation judgement!" Yuan snarled.

"Really?" Z'eh whimpered.

"Yes." Yuan sighed. "Really."

Meekly Rene and Z'eh came out from the dubious sanctuary of from behind their chairs, and Yuan cursed the time he'd lost his temper and had cast that spell amongst them. Yes he'd missed, yes the computer with it's offending virus had been fried... but he'd instilled terror in the two he didn't mean to.

Alright the _one_ he didn't mean to... but still...

"First off... you may have heard rumors of a strange sort. That I rarely order food for myself, and that I'm about the fortress day in and out without seeking slumber."

"Gossipers are a strange type my lord... we hardly listen to 'em." Clavk growled.

"You should pay attention then, because rumor is generally the only thing you hear before the blade falls, Mister Clavk." Yuan murmured, he stood, and those in the room looked at him in a rapt wonder as he walked to the center of the room. "What they say is true, to a point. Because of what I am I never sleep. I have no need to eat or drink. My metabolism is warped so that I feed off of mana, much like a piece of magi technology, yet I exude a specific type of magic that replenishes that which I take. Therefore, what I am, is the personification of an artificial balance. What I am is the ultimate corruption of what I was once before.

I lived my life, a mortal's life, almost two thousand years ago. My companions served in the War for Derris Kharlan, the elven holy land. Nations damned a world to mana depletion for that piece of sky rock, wars came to pass that turned families against each other, the atrocities that existed in my time... were beyond description.

We stopped the war, myself, my brother in law, my wife, and my oldest friend..."

Light, shimmering flame with a highlight of rose shimmered into being, stirred over the heads off all present and descended to wrap Yuan in a vortex of artificial light. Sheathed in that rose hued halo the half elf continued to talk, his voice had a breath of an echo to it.

"Our names were honored, venerated... Made sacred then forgotten as the man who wielded the power of the cosmos prepared this world for it's euthanasia. Yuan Vor'esse, Kratos Aurion, Martel Yggdrasil, and Mithos Yggdrasil... Your Goddess... my wife... died on the land of Kharlan. At the great stair way to that which is known as Derris, elvish that word, for the Mother Land... she died. Enraged, grieved, insane, Mithos, pact maker, child of the destroyed town of Sy'lune, lifted the blade of Origin, and with it's power split the world in twain and made with his power and maddness an order to last through the ages."

Yuan shuddered as the spears of crimson gouged his back, cried out in something that was part pain part ecstacy he sank to his knees. The air around him rippled as waves of power even one with no sensitivity to mana could feel nearly knocked the shocked group of half elves to their knees.

There was a rustle, cloth parting, sliding aside, then the masses of deepest red marred with thin lines of gossamer pink that jutted out from Yuan's back shifted... _moved_. Slowly he climbed to his feet, his wings unfurled behind him, making a mockery of the wingish cape he wore on his back.

"Insane, Mithos the Hero, the leader of the Kharlan's Hero's, lifted his blade and turned it upon his two companions, and granted us the blessings of Sylph in the form of wings. And we of Cruxis, the two Seraphim of Cruxis, looked upon him with clearing vision and curses as the power we had granted him through our sacrifices was turned upon us. And thus we serve him, have served him through the ages uncounted, and the children of the Chosen are our vessels to bring back Martel."

Yuan looked upon the shocked pale half elves around him, then met Rene's eyes and she nodded.

"My Second, your leader, Ms. Rene Lavin, was a Chosen of Tethe'alla, the declining world. Her death was left for me to carry out, and still she lives because I have defied the Lord of Heaven's will. And the Desian's, Mithos Yggdrasil's pawns that's all they are and will ever be, they said you should die and yet you live. My defiance is life, my defiance is hope, against the death that the Lord of Heaven has demanded. Against... the death of not only our world, but all worlds, of all life."

Yuan pulled a report from his belt, a bundle of papers tossed it contemptuously on Vryce's table.

"_All life is tainted, all resistence must fall, all measures are acceptable. Kill the rebellious, the wise, those with sight, and leave me the sheep so that I may be a better shepherd and not contend with wolves hiding in my flock._ The first line, that, in his report... I've translated it to the common tongue. Read it, and get me a way to stop him... and you better hurry, we've only got a month to stop him."


	25. Empty Sky

Defiance Birth of the Renegades

Chpater 25

Defiance: Empty sky

"_Idealism dies when forced against the hard stones of reality. Reality is the true death of innocence, not the so called demons and sins that the church of Martel preaches against."_

_Lloyd_ _Aurion_

_AN: These commanders are fun to write... so much variety with new personalities... don't worry, this will be the one day I go all nuts describing, after this things will pick up again._

"Well... that was... an interesting confession." Clavk murmured, his dark eyes wide and just a touch wild.

Rene coughed into her now refilled cup of coffee to keep from laughing.

"Ever a man of understatement, Mer. Clavk." Yashin's eyes were wide as he stared at his leader's unfurled wings. The smoke hued eyes seemed to swirl, like trapped mist, and there was fast forming a hungry light in their depths.

"Don't ask." Rene ordered him. "He wouldn't give you wings even if you begged, the price is higher than you can ever comprehend."

"Never knew yer last name was Lavin." Z'eh grunted to Rene as he helped himself to the food that had been forgotten.

But than one's leader explaining that he was the vessel of heavenly might did that sometimes...

"It's Vor'esse,-" Rene growled at the Armsmaster, "_-Rene Vor'esse_. Rene Lavin died a long time ago."

Yuan folded his wings to his side so not to buffet any of his unsuspecting commanders with the feathery limbs. He took his seat and tried best to ignore the strange stare that Feruon was gifting him with. The woman's hand were twitching... and his wings tried to meld with the skin of his back when he realized that she was probably thinking of petting the feathers.

"Well..." Yuan took an empty chair as his own, shifted so that he was as far from Feruon as half elvenly possible. "I have to say, your response is much better then the last time I did this."

Seeing the looks of confusion Rene enlightened them.

"Z'eh pissed his pants and fainted at Yuan's feet."

"I did not!" Z'eh roared.

Rene smirked. "Are you questioning the words of a superior officer, Mer. Z'eh?"

"You, fight dirty, girl."

Clavk chuckled, his tone obviously strained. "Well, I think we all did better than mister Z'eh."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that." Yuan murmured.

Yashin, unnoticed by all slipped up to the still Vryce and with a ghostly hued long fingered hand poked the fake Desian commander. There was a thump, the surprised Yashin blinked, and looked at the other commanders. Vryce was sprawled out on the floor, his limps askew, the blonde haired half elf's glasses skittered across the floor and stopped at Rene's feet.

Yashin hastily put his hands behind his back and attempted to look innocent of the tapping.

Z'eh of course _had_ to laugh at them all... Rene muttered a curse, scooped up the glasses before anyone else could step on them, finished her coffee in one toss, and set the empty cup on her seat.

"We have tasks to do, plans to make, and that to read." Rene pointed to the pamphlet Yuan had tossed on the Vryce's desk. "Yashin, take it first, go over it, leave it with Clavk when you're done..."

"I'll pass it to Z'eh when I've finished." Clavk promised.

"I'll give it to Vryce when I'm done." Z'eh sniggered. "When he wakes up o' course."

Feruon sighed and took that as a cue to try to revive the comatose half elf.

"Vryce will give it to Feruon. Feruon will turn it in to me, we'll all meet again after we've all gone over it to pool our ideas."

Yuan turned to his second, his icy eyes brimming with curiosity.

"Is this normally how you decide things, pass the papers around and get together and talk it over?"

"It saves time, and considering our different schedules it's harder to get together and go over it all at the same time page by page..."

"Have Vryce makes copies." Yuan ordered.

The other sub-commanders shifted in discomfort, and Rene sighed.

"He doesn't have time. None of us have much time to do anything outside of our schedules. And since everyone is one hand... does anyone have an problems to report in their sectors?"

"Some of the younger ones are complete incompetents with the swords, we started cullin' in the adolescences, giving' 'em training on the basics." Z'eh made a throwing away gesture. "Two of 'em got some promise, one's a killer aim with the bow, but the other three aren't worth nothing."

"Behavioral or physical?"

"Both, one's got a greenie's stomach, the others..." Z'eh made a face and Rene's eyebrow rose, the gesture was a silent challenge.

"I'll be the judge of that, give the names to the other sub-commanders. Yashin, Feruon, Clavk, you know what to do."

The two men nodded, then looked to the comatose Vryce and the nurse who was trying to rouse him.

"Without our schedules Ma'am?" Clavk protested meekly, as it appeared Feruon's efforts were going to be for nothing.

"Feruon," Rene snapped, "why isn't he up yet?"

"You have a man you take verbal swipes at proclaim himself a demipower on you, you try waking up prompt after it happens..."

"Z'eh, if you'd please."

Sniggering the ex-bandit summoned a chunk of ice the size of a fist.

"You accuse _me_ of not growing up..." Rene grumbled, knowing bloody well what Z'eh was going to do.

"Ten gald on he wakes up screaming." Clavk proclaimed.

"Twenty on him being a runner."

Clavk turned to Yashin. "You bet?"

"A vice."

"And he wins most of the time too." Rene grumbled.

"_You_ bet?" Clavk turned to his superior in no little surprise.

"A vice." Rene smirked.

"Plagiarist."

"Yashin, I outrank you. So in my case it's called _constructive borrowing_."

"Sophistry."

"Bite your tongue, it's not sophistry you ego-maniac, aero fanatic-"

"Thirty on the idea that the ice doesn't wake him and I have to zap him so he becomes coherent."

"_He bets_!" Clavk sputtered, pointing at Yuan. The Seraph looked up from smoothing the wings of his right primary wing to blink at the shrill panicked tone of the commander.

"And he hasn't lost once, so no one ever knows if he pays out or not." Z'eh grunted, he simultaneously shooed Feruon off -by waving the ice chunk in her face- and lifting the unsuspecting secretary's collar enough to permit the ice proper passage.

X

"Never thought he'd roll on the floor and shriek like that." Yashin murmured, turning to watch as a very disgruntled Vryce raised his first up so it was right under the Armmaster's long nose.

"You ever do that again you sick bastard and I swear I'll ki-"

"You, need to lighten up you pompous jack-"

"Gentlemen." Yuan's cool voice snapped through the air with the force of a thrown lightning bolt. "Both of you, come with me."

"To be the immature brat I was at twelve... their in _trouble_..."

"I noticed, and Z'eh's had it coming." Clavk agreed. "Now than, before we get in trouble right along with them..." Snatching a shoulder apiece the bulky half elf firmly dragged his superior officer and head of the magi technology department with him into the nearest room. It was a hall of course, most of the rooms that were open were halls, all unoccupied potential bedrooms were closed off, and all the closets with anything had signs over them to prevent the series of mishaps that had occurred the first few days.

Making those signs had been Vryce's idea, first assignment, and probably a pain in the ass...

But at least the reports of people being attacked by falling brooms, boxes, and the like had stopped.

"Ms. Rene, I'll need to see you in my office two hours after the Solar Zenith Mark." Yashin said, and with that the half elf went up the halls, read the sign in Angelic, and took a left peeling away from the heart of the base. In the coldest, most distant, reaches of the Triet Ranch the research and development area was currently housed, and there in the mess of wires and blue prints was an office, somewhere - in all probability buried- under more steel and mana devices then Rene cared to think about.

"Well, Second. I've no problems on my end, just paperwork and plans to make and shifts to schedule."

"That's a change for once." Rene teased.

"You however, might have problems. We've got a schedule mess up, one of my hunters is supposed to be watchin' the little ones but I don't have the men to spare, not after that youngster got himself and his whole group poisoned. It looks like someone put his Lordship in the empty slot to make up for that shift."

Rene shrugged. "What's the problem?"

"You're daft girl."

"Think of it as an experience meant to... broaden his Lordship's horizons."

"He'll kill you."

"He can _try_. I run fast so that might be hard for him to do."

Clavk chuckled. "I always wondered where he got those grey hairs from." He patted her shoulder. "Good luck with that running, but if he can fly he's got one up on you. Good day to you, Second Vor'esse."

X

Running from sector to sector Rene first checked on the medics. The group of ill hunters that had gotten the worse end in a tangle with a juvenile sand worm were all recovering well enough, there was -as always with a mess of children underfoot- the assorted case of sniffle victims, scraps, and in one spectacular case, an accident prone youngster had given himself a number of bruises after tripping down a few stairs.

Nurses and the lone doctor hovered amongst all the patients, treating adult and children with a cool yet personal efficiency that did Feruon's teachings proud.

"Ah, Ms Rene-" Feruon smiled on seeing her, pushed the prim little spectacles that she wore more for show than need up to the bridge of her nose. "-making rounds?"

"Don't I always?"

"Touche."

As always the papers with notes on all the cases were handed to her, Rene went over them, nothing to out of the ordinary. She turned a few pages and handed the plastic clip board to the older woman with a smile.

"Slow today?"

"I prefer it, closest thing to a crisis I ever want to see is this sand worm incident. The youngsters are itching for a chance to prove themselves, I'm luckely not young enough to have that complex on top of everything else... By the way, I sent a note to Supply, we're low on anti-venom serum."

"I'll hear about it the second Clavk gets back to his office I imag-"

There was a hum, and Rene rolled her eyes, and Feruon laughed. Ignoring the mouthed "Guess you were right" Rene pulled the aero voice transmitter from her belt.

"Rene speaking."

"Second, this is Cl-"

"This involves the Anti-serum request, correct?"

"Y... yes..."

"Work out some way to get some. We have enough stores to allow us to have a few days off from hunting and you can put the farming projects on hold for an afternoon or two to send someone down to Triet to buy some."

"That's going to leave a gap in guard duty." Clavk protested. "Z'eh will be livid."

"I'll cover." Rene sighed. "Or Z'eh will, he needs to stop preening and do his job anyways. I'm running late sub-commander, if there's any other problems hold them til I get to your office."

"Of course, kitchens called up, their complaining that you didn't come down for breakfast yet."

"I ate at..."

"No you didn't." Feruon cut in.

"We weren't struck stupid by his Lordship's speech, girl. Get down there before Cook comes up and drags you down." Clavk growled.

"Ah..." There was a hum, indicating that after returning to his office Yashin had seen his transmitter and had turned it on. "Is the Second giving you Hell over why she shouldn't be eating a decent meal this morning?"

"When doesn't she?" Feruon growled.

"Damn it, I don't need babysitters!" Rene flared.

"Yes you do." The sub-commanders growled.

Rene sulked, being Second or not having them all gang up on her deserve a sulk!

"Drag her Feruon, if she protests drag her."

That of course was Clavk.

"Alright, I'm leaving already, happy!" Rene snarled, then she turned off the communicator and stormed to the mess hall.

X

"You understand my policies about in-fighting." Yuan murmured, his leaned forward ever so slightly, his finger tips pressed together to make a false chapel. He loomed over his cringing sub-ordinate, his azure eyes flashing with malice.

Z'eh gritted his teeth, and glared at the Seraph, not shaken, not scared. Fear could only go so far, and he'd had enough of it.

"We know your damned, rules, but the fact I don't like Vryce and him not likin' me ain't none of your..."

"It is, _wholly_ my business." Yuan spat, and Z'eh growled, didn't flinch into his chair like Vryce did. "Had it only been your lives on the line I'd let things stand. It's not _about_ you anymore, not me, not even Rene. I think the influx of our numbers has yet to sink in, the consequences, the responsibilities, have yet to register with you. Let me spell it out in plain language. Simple, stupid, for the man who acts the fool."

It had been ages since Yuan had said that to him, Z'eh's face went crimson and his hand snapped over the hilt of a blade that wasn't there.

"You don't live for yourself Mer. Z'eh, that selfish life is for those with nothing to lose, no one to disappoint. You had that life, once, and you have to let it go. You have much to lose, not only your life, but the lives of everyone here." Yuan leaned back into his chair, let his eyes close to slits. "Will you kill the children, the women, the elderly who seek refuge here? Must they all go to Hell because you responded to the threats of a man who was on the bad end of a prank? Either learn to control that temper or be prepared to lose that rank you so cherish. I can easily train any of those children to take your place, any of them can be taught to teach others. As a matter of fact I find that course preferable, you are a rash man Mer. Z'eh, and gentleness and caution will be needed for this protracted war. So either shape up, or screw up and be shipped out. Is that clear?"

"Yes... Sir." Z'eh growled.

"Get out, then, you have things to do. Vryce, stay a moment."

"Yes... my lord..." The blond half elf whimpered, cringing into himself.

Z"eh stomped to the door, kicked it when it didn't open fast enough, then was gone and his curses slowly faded down the hall. Shaking his head Yuan ran a hand through his blue locks, shifted his wings around so he wasn't crushing them.

"Do you see your mistake?"

"My... mistake... my Lord?"

"You provoked him." Yuan nodded to the door, to indicate the absent Armsmaster. "Don't do it again, if he snaps no one will be safe."

"Why... if he's that mentally unstable." Vryce whispered.

"Responsibility. I pushed him, too hard, too fast, I broke him. Now, he is my responsibility. I hate him, as he hates me, but I have enough sight not to act upon my hate. He doesn't. So even as I wait for someone to rise, someone strong enough in arm to replace him, I watch my back."

"And Rene's?" Vryce dared.

"And Rene's." Yuan agreed. "And everyone else's. His personality has shifted, become darker, his temper is more extreme as he teeters over the edge. He isn't mad, not quite yet, but I have to wonder what will be the final catalyst to his insanity? I have to wonder and watch for it, and hope that it isn't what I think it might be. Because if it is I can't do anything, save watch and guard and possibly kill him when madness comes in full."

Vryce lifted a shaking hand to his face, to push his glasses in place, but seeing the trembling of his fingers stopped himself.

"Both eyes open, Sub-commander Vryce, a blade in your hand at all times, and don't always trust the rock to your back. Don't disappoint me and make this conversation a necessity on a later occasion. Now, get out."

"Yes, my Lord." Slipping from the chair Vryce paused, and turned. Yuan had already opened the overflowing folder on his desk, Vryce was all but forgotten.

"My... Lord?"

Yuan paused, didn't lift his head, but his hands ceased in the flipping of the pages before them.

"He's approached Second Rene, on many occasions. Rene seems to not understand what Z'eh wants, but we aren't fools, we aren't that young..."

"Both eyes open Vryce. Very good. You are learning. Remember to carry a sword at all times and I might even become proud of you."

"I'm a civilian..."

"I was, once, then a war came to me. I tried to run, sent most of my life running, and now I'm paying the price. And all of you are paying with me. Don't make my mistake Vryce and close off the world with such a petty excuse as _I am not_. You are, you change, and you be, and can become."

Vryce nodded, saluted, and the Seraph cracked a smile.

"What are you, Vryce?"

"A man, a man who looked into heaven and didn't like what he saw. A man who remembers being told that if he didn't shape up his children were going to be fried by the actions of a fool."

"Keep at it, and maybe when your children look into heaven... they will only see what should be there."

"What should be there?" Vryce asked, looking at his superior with only confusion.

No fear, or rather very little fear, it was a start.

"An empty sky, filled only with the light of the stars."


	26. Vor'esse

_A/N: Yep, an update! world must be ending... sorrry guys comp times limited on my end. I do what I can. KAsan Soulblade_

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Vor'esse

_So distant, yes... it seems so distant. I can see that rebuke in your eyes. Yet we must remember, like history the old insults must never be forgotten, for if we forget them than we forget the hate, the legacy and suffering that preceeds us. We can't forget, because to forget a part is to forget the whole. To forget the whole is to replay the tragedies of our predecesors, to never rise above them_. Yuan Vor'esse

Chapter 26

Yashin sighed, looked up from the mess of wires and let them fall on the table with a sulky expression on his face. It was rare he sulked, but it was a deserved sulk of trying again and again to put this part of what would hopefully become a Reihard's engine. The walls of his office were covered in diagrams, notes, all detailing the devices that had once been called the "steel falcons". Flight theories jammed every inch of bookshelf space, his office was littered with the signs of a man obsessed with flight, but for a wind magi such obsession was rather common place. Fire magi became pyromaniacs, water magi obsessed about the sea, wind magi wanted to fly (many younger ones jumping from cliffs realizing at the last moment their magic wasn't sufficient to hold them afloat sometime during their decent), and lightning magi wandered around in thunderstorms.

Which of course proved magi to be on one level insane, or rather imbalanced. But with the nature of their power… one of the laws was that to use power one had to be imbalanced, so little insanities were just part of the Art.

Picking at the mess of wires, despairing that he'd never figure where they would proper fit into the pored mana battery that Lord Vor'esse had supplied, Yashin tossed them aside.

Of course come another ten minutes he'd again finger them, scrape up the courage to just slip them into any of the slots anyway, and hope he didn't get fried once again. He paused, fingered the small rectangular mana voice transmitter and then was about to dial in the code to speak to the medic wing, when there was a hiss. Lifting his head he rose one hand, leveled it with the portal that was slowly sliding open, the fingers of his other hand were groaping for the one handed staff he left under his desk.

"Ah," He lowered his hand, banished the words of his vortex spell, and smiled. "Mes. Rene…"

Rene frowned, took in the mess that served for Yashin's private office. Steel plates with strings of plastic and metal jutting from them like misplaced tenions and viens, and raised an eyebrow,

"You never were married were you?"

Yashin smirked, his tone warmed as did his eyes as the spring minded Second stepped fully into his office and looked around. Disgust warred with interest on the girl's expressive face.

"Obviously."

Spying wrappers and small carbord trays amongst the mess of metal and wires Rene snorted.

"We do have cooks you know. You don't need to live off of magi minioven compatable meals."

"You do know the rest of the world calls them _microwave dinners_, correct?" Yashin teased, the ice eyes man let his eyes close to mere slits. "But if you must know the real reason, a fire spell, and a smare fork and I'm set, it saves all the tedious time of leaving my office and..."

Ignoring him Rene murmurred to herself, "-I see why Clavk called this place the blackhole of our base where, I quote: all the crap compiles."

"It would smell wose, I imagine." Yashin chuckled. "If the crap really did compile here, the smell would be a hundred times worse."

Rene rolled her eyes at that and wadded through the tangle of machenery to a mess of steel, wires, and broken magi-technology that sported four long black legs.

"He also calls this the Land of Lost Reports."

"Astute. Tea?" Yashin offered one of the two cups on his desk. Rene hisitantly accepted, and seeing the stuff was cool she heated it with a thought and sipped. The stuff was vile, and stale, it's taste and texture telling of many re-heatings before it had come into her hand.

"How old is this?"

"Half a day at least. Time adds to the texture."

_Men_. Rene mentally groaned. Shuddering she set the cup on a tower of precariously balanced white quartz shards. Then seeing a glimps of white amongst the grey walked forward and snatched the mess of papers on Yashin's desk that was serving as a cup mat.

"Dear-" Rene choked back on the instinctual M_artel_ she'd almost uttered. Knowing the truth actually made all of her old insults seem... well stupid was the nicest word for it. Defunct might have been more accurate though. "-gods... is this... I wrote that two months ago, it's the explaination of the magitech generators malfunction during the Silver's attack."

"Really?" Yashin looked at it with some curiosity. "I wondered where that went, I remember _starting_ to read it but I must of misplaced it..."

"I'm doubly glad I came here than." Rene growled. "Cup holder?"

She offered the papers, and Yashin -with a faint blush to his checks that made him look like a half elf rather then a full blooded elf- accepted, he didn't put his cup under them however, but set them on a piece of paper that looked like the day's schedule.

"Thanks you."

"I am... here to see the documents well being, and since you've shown me beyond a doubt that you can't be trusted to keep anything from being lost..." -Yashin's blush deepened.- "I will read the document to you. Therefore we will both know it's contents of this dispatch. Is that agreeable, Mer Yashin?"

"Yes, Mes Rene, it is."

"And furthermore, I think I'll have to start comming down here every day to make sure that all dispatches aren't "lost" and are all read."

Yashin studied the floor, traced the mess of wires that covered his floor with his icy eyes. He muttered a meek, "Yes, Mommy" and Rene went crimson at that. She sputtered, and Yashin lifted his gaze to grin at the girl.

"You... I... If you ever call me that _again-_!"

"Never again, Second Rene." Yashin promised cutting short the girls tirade with a raised hand. Though his expression was somber his eyes sparkled. "But, if you think upon it I made a rather accurate observation."

"I'll fireball you..." Rene hissed. "And it's _Vor'esse,_ last names are included as well as the title for Tethe'allan ranks for Mer or Mes."

"I hesitate to call someone I hold in such esteem _no one_." Yashin frowned as he took in Rene's expression. "You didnt know? Well not everyone's been raised in Hiemdall for the bulk of thier childhood." The half elf said the last almost to himself, a sad smile gracing his lips. "It's an elvish word, _Voresse_ means _no one_ in high elvish."

"I didn't know... I thought it was just a name."

Yashin remianed silent, watching with fascination at the pull and tug of emotion warring with the need to appear composed. A pity that, he'd have much liked to be privy to the spring minded (and haired) Second's thoughts. He watched confusion cross those features, a glint of pain like light off the blades edge, then a resolve appeared and hardened those eyes. Even as he saw he could not understand how such a simple thing as a name could invoke such a mess of tourmoil in the girl's soul. He was allowed the show, the flash of emotion to cross the child's face, but not allowed enough information to guess the cause... Ah well, life and it's ever numerous mysteries. He gave the girl as much space as he could, fiegned interest in a diagram over the girl's shoulder, and gave her her time. She composed herself in short order, scolded him for day dreaming even. He smiled, knowing and not knowing, and said nothing of his thoughts to her.

So she read, and he wondered, and in the deepest recesses of his soul longed for answers.

Knowing, as he longed -knowing as did any who delt with the Second- that only Lord Yuan had right to the girl's inner thoughts hel et out a soft sigh. Rumor held that out of everyone in this false ranch Yuan was the only one Rene trusted, and if rumor held true Yuan only trusted Rene.

Two halves of a whole those two, Gods help us -and them, Yashin amended ruefully- should they ever disagree on something!

Steeling himself, he let all frivious thoughts go, and plunged into the harsh world... Where angels were soulless, and the worlds were little more then the sacrificial altar to a child hero gone mad.

X

"My _name_?" Yuan set aside his customary half empty glass he customarily sipped from while he watched Rene eat. The food had had a chance to cool -a rarity with thier late night dinners- as she had finally gathered her nerve to say what was bothering her. "Didn't we have this conversation, when you were twelve _Mer Dilina_?"

Mer Dilina, angelic, elvish... A bastard melding of an elvish endearment meaning "daughter" that had roots in thier creation myth, and the term for _precious_ in mainstream uncorrupted (but as always conjugated) angelic word _inia._

"Not your first name." Rene grumbled, struggling to remember the incident that Yuan was aluding to. "You're last."

"What about it?" The shrug and false bright tone made Rene stiffen, so he had known! She glared, and at last Yuan sighed and dropped the act. "Ah, so you know the insult I see. And, like always you wonder. You wonder about how centuries later I would endure it when casting it aside would seem the logical course."

"You're not so frivious to keep a joke name, or even take one."

"In my youth, I might have. I endure a few nicknames from Kratos, even after all these years. It allows us to remember what we were, and keeps the bond between us from disolving completly."

Yuan sipped from his glass, his eyes distant. Time trickled by, unmarked, for thier was no clock, no time piece, save the slow steady pounding of the Seraph's heart. He stared past her, and Rene took a bite of her meal more out of habit than need. She hardly tasted it, for she knew Yuian was gone, lost in all his long dark years.

"The elves branded me such. Branded all half elves, quarter elves, as such. We were a disgrace, not made by the Gods during the creation... we were a race of abominations in thier eyes. So we had no last names, no keys into the halls of our ancestor's halls in the long empty house of the dead. The name is a mark, a scar, from the time I was mortal. So distant, yes... it seems so distant. I can see that rebuke in your eyes. Yet we must remember, like history the old insults must never be forgotten, for if we forget them than we forget the hate, the legacy and suffering that preceeds us. We can't forget, because to forget a part is to forget the whole. To forget the whole is to replay the tragedies of our predecesors, to never rise above them."

Still she did not understand, and the Seraph smiled, a sad pitying smile.

"Child, does a warrior beseach a healer to lift the scars of old battles from his fleash, does he demand a magi to whipe the memories of each conflict from his soul?"

Absently Rene rubbed one ankle against the back of her leg. While it seemed a childish gesture, he knew, as did she, of the scars. Scars gained from frantic flights across a field of glass and molten sand.

"We live with our scars, Second. And not all scars are of fleash and blood. Yes, I could change my name, but I won't. It's a reminder of my time, a time of hate, genocide, war."

"Little's changed."

"But." Yuan lifted a finger. "Things have changed."

"How do you know." Rnee countered.

"You just told me. _Little_ has changed, for there to be _little change_ there must be _some_ type of change."

Groaning Rene threw her hands in the air and the Seraph smiled at his Second.

"Yes, an impressive display, I'm moved. Now eat your dinner, it's getting cold."

Rene made a face and Yuan chuckled.

"Yes, _father_."

"Don't give me lip young lady, you aren't old enough to be able to weasal out of a grounding. I _will _ground if you continue to talk."

Rene waited until the Seraph went back to siipping at his drink, then stuck out her tongue. As always the Seraph snorted, and lost a goodly ammount of the drink in the process.

Yes, little had changed, very little.


	27. flight

Lord Yuan

Chapter 27

Reiards...

_Short Chapter, something important happens, some silliness, and some insights... just the usual "Kasan" stuff really._

_"Obsession can kill, and let it be known in the opening stating of this meeting that Yashin's obsession nearly killed us all."_

_Clavk_

Shuddering Yuan pressed his wings to his sides, a moan slipped past his pale lips made more pale by mana depletion. Concern, mortal half elven concern, dread, and hope radiated from those who were crouched safely by the mana shields that Z'eh and Vryce had constructed. Not that that would save them, only polycarbonaite was strong enough to actually ward the blow of a enhanced indignation judgment spell. But let them believe in their safety, let them hold that illusion when so many others were shattered.

Staggering back, the Seraph forced his numb hands to release their hold on the metal rod, they swung limply to his sides. Like boneless masses, they hung, limp, dead, and he could feel his body spread its now desperately thin mana stores to every extremity. It came with welcome speed if not the accustomed strength, and he was spared the indignantly of collapsing before all of his sub commanders. He looked up at the familiar hiss, watched as jagged bolts of palest lavender crawled up the network of steel rods and lept eagerly into the perfectly configured mess of wires. Like the misplaced blood of the dead leaping into the proper channels, guided by a Resurrection spell. He shuddered at the simile, shuddered at the memories of seeing his love cast that spell time and time again.

Power -his power, he thought rather sulkily- licked and sizzled, crawling higher and higher. Catching in the various runes that had been made in this psuedo tower of mana. There, trapped, the bands of mana writhed and twisted then burst up out of their confinements. Agitated, but more powerful for the confinement, the threads of violet power screamed up, the light and noise of a hundred thunderclaps leaked out as did a rain of sparks.

"Please don't dissolve, don't blow up…."

Yuan's lips quirked into a smile as he heard Yashin's freverent prayers, he almost laughed when the two newly promoted teenagers who's proper ranks were now "technician private (insert name)" –the two "warriors" that Z'eh had dubbed worthless- decided that inching to the door was wiser than lingering amongst the tangle of thier awed, superiors.

"Get back here you cowards!" Z'eh snarled, coming out of his daze to see the two scrawly youths almost at the door.

"Stay in the mana shield! Yuan barked at the children. Mentally he yelled at Z'eh that the children weren't cowards, rather youths with common sense, but now was not the time for an open disagreement of opinions amongst superior officers. Strength demanded unity, so for now he shelved his hatred of the man to make this fledgling organization appear strong. "This is just the begining of the light show!"

"The _wha_-" Z'eh began to scream, the words were sucked up by a gasp of awe by what happened next.

The smarter subcomanders claped thier hands over thier ears and closed thier eyes as thunder and full fledged bolt of lightning slammed into the walls. A storm was born within the steel chamber, awed Yuan lifted his sapphire eyes, entracnced by the power his will had born.

The band sheathed in containment ward laid upon containment ward that was placed near the zenith shattered. A rain of what was once yellow quartz screamed down and smashed into the shield making it pulse with crawling electric fingers. Luckily everyone was still under it's protection, that much couldn't be said for the walls that melted and dripped from the mana born wounds. Red steel, red blood, Yuan shivered, felt his hair standing on his head, and the sensation wasn't some over romanticised notion of dread either. He could feel it lifting up, could feel his wings sprred wide, the feathers shaking, pricked forward, drawn to the element that so closely mimed thier own, the element that was closest to his soul... He squelshed the impulse to fly into the heart of the storm and let the power consume him. He'd gone through that once before, had been bathed in the combined light of Luna and Aska, and the consequence had been the transformation of what he was now, he'd tolerate no other changes.

He'd not trade this hell for another, no matter the _benifits_.

It was sound, beyond sound, the foundations of the room quaked, the floor rocked and he flew back smashing into the mana shield, going through it. Groaning he opened eyes that he'd never realized he'd closed, lifted one sprawled wing off of the dazed Clavk and wearily pushed off a floor that seemed to be trying to push him off of it. Heat... it must be unbearable, the sprawled unguarded unclothed fore arms and faces of those around him were fast turning red. His staff was all knocked out, Clavk having been done in when two hundred some odd pounds of Seraph smashing into him, Z'eh and Vryce were dazed from the braking of thier shield. The causes for Yashin, Feruon, and Rene's colapse were unknown. To take the pun head on he'd have ascribed thier colapse to shock.

He looked up, eyes glazed, lips curled into a smile as he stared at past the steaming remains of the tower, stared into the gleaming point of power. His smile widened as he saw that light dim. Wings, long, pure antimantium, white silver highlights taht ran across the belly only slightly singed by the influx of mana, the wide barrel, made wider by the additions of miniture mana cannons, he was alone and therefore could gloat. He crowed with delight, as from above there was a faint hiss, a click, the panels of the two Reihards hummed to glorious life.

X

"You. Idiot." Rene hissed. She had ice pressed to the side of her face did much to muffle the power of her glare and his sucsess did much to numb whatever guilt he might hav felt. A multitude of nurses hummed around the room as Yuan had enough sense to carry them to the medical wing. "You knew that it was going to blow up?"

"I expected a violent phe-"

"-But not that bad." Rene growled, cutting into the Seraph's ramblings.

Yuan quirked his lip into a half smile, and his Second moaned and reached up with a bright red hand to shift the ice pack about so that it covered his eyes.

"Really... if I had thought it was going to be that bad I would have done the experiment alone..." Yuan _whined_, he was actually whining. Or maybe the word should have been sulky, as he wasn't pleased that she wasn't sharing in his euphoria in thier success...

She should have been pleased, he was expressing a multitude of normal "mortal" emotions. It just wasn't the batch that she felt that she was up to dealing with right now. Half of her was covered with the worst case of sun burn that she'd ever had before, or maybe she should have called it lightning burn or something.

"Yuan." Rene whispered. "I am in pain, agony, I can't deal with you or _anyone_ right now."

"I'll leave." Yuan promised, and there was a creek as the chair he'd been occuping was freed of his wieght. "Rest, Second. When you are feeling better I'll explain what we've done and why I'm so pleased."

"Is that an order?" Rene teased, the gesture was marred by a hiss of pain.

The Seraph chuckled, placed a gloved hand on the girl's shoulder and smiled. He closed his eyes, allowed a trickle of his mana into her. With his meanger healing skills he numbed the child's pain. Satisfied, he patted Rene's shoulder, tossled the green locks... and tried not to think of Martel.

"Yes, Second. That's an order."

She mumbled something, her eyes were closed behind the ice pack, her expression slack. Yuan smiled as he recognized the patern of her breathing. She would be alright, pain was but a temporary thing, wounds would heal. Through her, through those who had decided to stay in this place besides him, together they would strike a blow against Cruxis so horrible that the whole organization would be sent to it's knees.

_Together..._ he chuckled and stood to leave Rene with the healers without his presence to _distract_ them from thier tasks.

"_We're all in this together, right?"_

_"Of course." Her voice whispered, a chiming of bells, a whisper of spring. "Together, till the end and beyond if need be."_

_Harsh, bitter, the auburn haired swordsman smiled. It was a guarded gesture, born from the parinioa earned from a lifetime comprised of loss. Still, it was a start. "Blades in hand, back to back. My life blood your own, your wounds my own."_

_"As well as our joys." Martel insisted._

_"Perhaps... Yuan you must learn to share the woman you pick up if that's to be the ca..."_

_"Kratos!" Mithos howled. "That's my sister you're hitting on!"_

_"So?"_

Nodding absently to the guards, lost in memoriy, he paused. Present drew him out of past, and he truely _saw_.

Two adolescent boys were wearing helms too large, one lifted his staff to beter push the thing out of his eyes, his companion wearing a short sword had no easy means of adjusting his helm so he stood statue still and suffered his blindness in silence. They both radiated a keen discomfort for the uniforms thrust upon them, this was compiled upon as they stiffened with shock as they noted thier leader was smiling. Inexpertly they made thier faces go blank as he turned to better look at them. They stood under his scrutiny well enough, with only a little paling to show thier fear. He ignored the fear for now, considered the two young adults who should have been children... They couldn't have been older than Rene, perhaps they had even participated in the parties that his wild Second had hosted during her curtailed "teenager" week.

If so Yuan didn't reognize them, but the helms might have had something to do with that.

He reached out, tilted the boy's helm back, looked at the novice swordsman in the eyes.

"Twine the strap, loop it once, then slide it through the slot." Yuan instructed.

The young man blinked, his hazzle eyes glazed in confusion.

"That's not an order, it's a sugestion." Yuan informed the boy. Turning on his heel he continued his walk down the hall, his cape whispering behindhim.

"Tha... thank you... my Lord Vor-"

"Yuan." The Seraph corrected. "If you must give me a title, than let it be Lord Yuan."

"Yes, Lord Yuan."


	28. construct

A/N: Just some theroy that I wanted to trot out. And one of the biggest decisons facing the still un-named Renegades.

Defiance Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 28

Analizing the mad cycle

"_Coffee anyone?" Z'eh_

"When exposing one mana element to another there is Reaction. Reaction is expressed in one of three forms of physical phenominom. Nulify, Compliment, and Conflict. Water tossed upon fire (where both elements destroy one another) is an example of Nulify. Water and wind mana (resulting in the physical show commoners call "rain") is an example of compliment, where both elements are benifited by thier union. In the example of rain, wind carries water beyond it's normal bounds and wind if made more harsh due to the addition of water. Conflict occures only when the element from oposing schools are forced into contact with one another, the effects of Conflict always result in the most destructive posibilities to occure. Yggdrasil has, so far, used the theroy of Conflict to fuel the mana in the cyclic world rejuvination process.

After making an extensive notes on the information Lord Yuan has stolen from the Cruxis data base and conducting a multitude of experiments I have come to this conclusion. For one moment, when the Entities of Mana are all awake, the link between the two worlds pulse. The mana from the once declineing world stirs to life... and it mets the retreating mana of the once flourishing. Only the invisible band that seperates the worlds keeps this phenominom from causing a massive explosion, and releasing a torent of natural disaster on both worlds. The fabric of spit reality is in truth a filter, it muffles the explosion that should "naturally" occure, and chanels the mana. The structure dubed by Martelians as the "Tower of Salvation" is much like a door and a path, if tosses the force upon the world that it's opperator choses."

"Why does the force... or explosion come out as Mana?" Rene asked, her face scrunched up in a frown. "Wouldn't conflicting elements meeting at the very least send out destructive mana?"

"I believe, but can not prove, that there is a more fine tuned filter within the span of shattered reality." Yashin flushed. "I can't quite proove it though, I can't simulate anything like it in the labs."

"Concocting an artificial ensouled mana seed would be dificult." Yuan muttered absently.

"Pardon, my lord?"

"Nothing... continue. Despite Mer. Z'eh's vocal objections I find this theroy of yours facsinating."

A snore came from Z'eh's end of the table, even after two cups of coffee he'd passed out as Yashin had rambled on and on about magi theroies, explained them, then applied them to the state Mithos' broken tattered worlds. Feruon yawned, pinched herself, and Yuan smirked. Shame she didn't have more of a scholarly mind, but the fact that she didn't have an interest beyond her craft would be very useful. Talk mana theroeis with zeal and she'd go running, if he posed as a man fanatical about abstract ideas he might be able to disuade the little "club" that was stiring in his base. A very very cheering thought. Those women were getting out of control, they'd gone so far as to pin an _invitation_ to his door. It was best to nip the problem before they were wacking him upside the head and dragging him off.

He shuddered a bit at that image, and to hide the fact that his hands were shaking he shifting the papers on his desk around. All around the hourse shoe table -a relic _bought_ from the new high cheiftan of Triet- were his subcomanders, his generals in the upcomming war against Cruxis.

Z'eh was slowly slipping out of his chair, still snoring, so much for his military having any intellegence with this generation. He'd just have to strive beter with the next batch of younglings. Rene rolled her eyes at Z'eh's antics, torn between exasperation and amusement. The Seraph could not wait until his Second outgrew her trust of Z'eh, then he could demote the bastard. But until then he'd have to endure. Feruon was struggling to fight off sleep, but unlike Z'eh she had reason to be tired. Bandits had nearly killed a whole patrol, she'd been up all night administrating mana and gels and old fassioned humane comfort. Clavk was staring at Yashin, eyes a bit wild, as the normally icy half elf bounced in place and talked on and on about something the more plodding man could barely grasp.

_I wager every peice of gald I'll ever make in my life that only Rene and I understand half of what that man's saying._

Rene took another sip of her coffee, her green eyes starting to glaze, and Yuan nudged her leg with a steel sheathed toe.

"Stay awake." He hissed

"I _am_ awake."

"Stop day dreaming, then."

Rene glared at him, shifted around, and her stomach growled. Yuan glared at his Second, and she pointedly ignored the glare that promised a firm lecture on skipping meals. It was all the cooks and Yuan -and all the other commanders, though Yuan wasn't aware of it- could do to make sure the girl ate and slept the proper amounts. She skipped meals out of stress, thinking she dared not spare the minutes to eat. If she was this bad during peace time he'd have to double his viligance over her when things got nasty.

"Yashin." the Serraph rapped his knuckled on the desk. "May we take a break to properly digest this information? It's rather hard to take in all at once."

Clavk and Feruon's gratitude could have promoted a mortal to angelic status with a glance, luckly -or unluckily- Yuan was already gifted with such an estimed destinction so nothing came of it.

At the word "digest" Rene flinched guiltily, and rubbed her aching stomach.

"Feruon, fetch something for us to sup on."

"Yes my Lord." She bowed, and then slipped outside. Someday, when thier numbers were greater -although _how_ that was going to happen was beyond him- he'd have enough aides for everyone. Not everyone was meant for command, there would be order, discepline.

Z'eh snored even louder and Yuan grimly added to himself that there would be replacements and a few ranks shifted around. Savoring the idea of the Armsmaster's demotion he forgot to scold Rene for skipping breakfast.

X

"So, now what? We know how it works-"

"Or we think we do, no theroy is absolute." Clavk cut Z'eh off.

"What's it do, how we use it."

Yashin smirked, looked up from his pastery and chuckled. "It's elementry Armsmaster. We use Conflict to end the conflict."

Z'eh growled. "We already declaired war against 'em, so how's that help?"

"Mana Conflict." Yashin sighed, after the burst of energy that had taken him through the speach he seemed rather tired. "Would solve the problem in relation to the Seraph and Angelic aspects of Cruxis."

So expose an angel anti-angelic mana..." Rene hazarded.

"Boom." Yashin chuckled, then looked at his lord. "Umm no offense Lord Yuan."

"None taken." Yuan frowned. "But I see a problem in your theroy. Angels aren't exactly pure elemental constructs. We can feign what we call "mortal" habits of eatting and sleeping, and we can hide our wings and auras for years at a time."

"Which prooves you ain't mana constructs, how?" Z'eh growled.

"Well..." Yuan paused. "Kratos has taken journeys to the temple of Darkness, while he reported spans of disoriantation, weakness, and discomfort the foray into the very heart of where all dark mana resides didn't kill him."

"I imagine, if you just enhanced the power of a weapon of darkness, or used dark quartz like we used purple quartz to enhance the lightning spell of the re-charge incident..."

"Boom." Z'eh snickered. "I like it. Quick clean, and with little half elves dying."

"Quite the contraty." Yuan leaned back into his chair. "All the chosen of Cruxis have had some mixed blood, over half are true half elves... We'd be slaughtering our people, still, the idea has it's merrits."

"Could... could we save them?"

Those around the table jerked in shock. Feruon had been so quiet that they'd all but forgotten about her. Lifting an eyebrow the Seraph looked at Feruon with more respect than he ever had before.

"A heedy concept." Yuan admited, when it looked like no one else could or would respond. "I believe on that note we should let this meeting adjourn. We have a very serious decision to make ladies and gentlemen, whether to redeam or destroy Cruxis, and it isn't one that should be made lightly..."

Chairs scraped, the half elves assembled got to thier feet and were wearily leaving. Spying Rene going to leave with the other subcomanders the Seraph raised a hand to stop them.

"Second, I need to talk to you later tonight, I'd insist on now but I understand you have duties to persue. clavk, I want that report on why the crop failed in the R-10 sector ASAP. Dismissed."

The nodded, saluted, and were gone, and alone Yuan mulled Z'eh accusation over and over again.

What if they were constructs, little more than machines. It would fit, explain, yet leve so much unexplained.


	29. broken mirror

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Broken Mirror

_"Not all is as it appears. With every truth there are a hundred thing left unsaid, forgotten, or distorted_."

Temples throbing, arms aching, Rene mutely took the glass offered by the white robed doctor. Out of all the "Desians" in this base only the medical staff were premitted to wear any other color besides black. And only by beggin Yuan was she premitted to wear the white coat over her tan tunic and pants. She hated the color black, but then that might have been lingering trama from having her parents dragged away by the Desians. Shivering, she shelved that memory and swallowed the steeming cup of brown medicine. It took effort to order herself not to think of what it was, only to drink.

Feruon nodded, pleased with Rene's good behavior so far. While the mess of liquified red jells, willow bark, juices from a cacti coursed through the girl's system Feruon pealed off the bloody coat. She shook her head, tisked, and scolded even as she fetched bandages and the like. Ignoring the red aura that seemed to seep out from Rene's skin -an after effect from consuming the red gell- the medic ran down her customary list of questions. At the answeres she scowled, crossed her arms in front of her chest. The medic did the poorest Yuan impersonation that Rene had ever seen.

"How many times have I told you not to spar with Z'eh's lot?"

"You sound like Yuan." Rene teased.

"Bite your tongue young lady." Feruon growled. "I do not sound like Lord Yuan."

Ignoring the medics flush of pleasure Rene sighed, lay on the table and lifted her arm so that Feruon could better wrap it up.

"He's going to have a fit." Feruon growled.

"Good, it'll keep him on his toes." The Second lifted her other arm and Feruon went to work binding the mess of small nicks. "You could just leave it-" Rene protested, "-it just looks like a mess of cat scratches..."

Feruon lightly rapped her patient on the head and Rene winced. Her headache once bad became worse, and with Feruon's uncomforting matronly lecture ringing in her head the Second felt more like a foolish child than one of the leaders of an organization being honed to strike down Cruxis.

X

"Sleeves up."

Blinking Rene paused, frozen by Yuan's strange comand that had been uttered before the'd even gotten through the doorway. Still framed in the steel portal she hesitated, took a weary step back into the hall. The guard behind her turned his head, and catching his Lord's nod drew his spear and gently prodded the Second in the back before she could bolt. She was alll but nudged by spear point to her customary chair by the grinning, giggling, guard.

"Thank you, private Shay'awn. Now that you've hearded her as agreed could you close the gate behind you so she doesn't get away?"

"Yes, my Lord." The false Desian in question smirked at the disgruntled Second.

"Good lad." Yuan murmurred just loud enough for the young man to hear.

Rene's glare could have at best be described as unfriendly, the Seraph ignored it, set the Aero Voice Transmitter device on the table besides the two plates of food he'd had ordered up here. Spoting the ATV Rene's glare became venomous, and again Yuan ignored it.

"Arms on the table, both of them. I wasnt to look over the healing myself."

Sighing, Rene gave into the inevitable and put both arms on the table. Yuan's cool fingers picked at the three buttons that ran down her sleeve. He folded the fabric back, then rolled the sleeves back to analize the red seeped bandages.

"It's rare Feruon has disappointed me." He noted in an icy voice.

"We're running low on everything, gels, tonics, even mundane sources." Rene hissed as Yuan began to unwind the first of the bandages. "I requested that they didn't use more then the absolute minimum for the cuts."

Yuan nodded, the cries from supply were getting more shrill by the day. He'd already set a plan in motion to remidy that, a stupid, suicidal plan possilby, but it was better to offer a meanger hope than none at all.

"I have an idea for that, but that's not what I summoned you here for." Yuan's hand began to glow with a faint azura aura. Rene sighed, allowed the Seraph to waste his mana healing her. The cuts ceased thier crimson seepage, and Yuan absently patted her on the head when he was done. Only Yuan, she decided, had permission to do that. Seeing the steely glint in the girl's eyes the Seraph chuckled.

"Yes, I know you're an adult, allow an old man his indulgances from time to time however, _Second_."

"Old, you?" Rene smirked. "I'd say you don't look a day older than two thousand nine hundred."

Yuan laughed, smiled, and pulled himself to his feet, the food untouched.

"Eat, drink, then if you would please join me in my private quarters, I've soemthing to show you."

"Not another one of those gods aweful Kharlan War paintings I hope." Rene made a face and though the Seraph chuckled there was a strange note to the sound. She looked up, startled to see just for a seoncd a flash of pain in the man's expresion. But the emotion, like all others, was masked before she could even begin to discurn it's purpose.

Suddenly Rene wasn't hungry, but she had to eat. She wasn't like Yuan where she could go without eatting or drinking. As if to remind her, her stomach growled, and the Seraph gave her a long look that was part threat part concern.

"Alright already, I'm eatting, don't ram it down my throat."

So she ate, but didn't taste it or had she been asked later couldn't tell what she was eatting.

X

Light shone, in a room that had been dark for nearly half a decade candles were lit sending the thinist plumes of whispy smoke to the caves ceiling.

"My refuge, home away from home." The words were a whisper that echoed, distorted, and became a choir of hisses. "I keep little here, make no pretense about my state when I'm alone."

Stark, baren, there was no bed, no furnishing save a tattered chair. claw marks scored the thing's back side. Marks of an animal that had wandered it's way into the Seaph's sanctuary then promptly been dispatched. She wondeed, if in the darkest courners of this place it the small courpse was still there, rotting away. A few feathers, dusty red no longer gleaming with thier strange angelic lumiescence, were scattered about with abandon. Half concieled by the darkness was a chest, old, marked with runes of preservation. So that was where the Seraph kept his spare capes, she had wondered... She said as much, not daring to speak above a whisper, and the Seraph shook his head.

"That's not quite what it is." Yuan murmurred. "I've stored some items of sentimental value within, I do have a closet in my private quarters upstairs you know."

"Oh..." Rene blushed. "No I didn't."

Yuan smiled, his sky blue eyes sad.

"You could have asked."

"Sorry."

"I did not however bring you down here to talk of the storage of capes." The Seraph walked to the one wall that wasn't bare. On the wall was a blanket, crudly stitched with pink thread. Remembering that incident Rene smiled, the smile however left her face as Yuan cooly walked to the item obscured by the blanket and stroked it with a chilling devotion. "I came to show you this. Out of all the others only you have the right to see."

The seraph pulled the fabric, it shivered free... and Rene stared up at herself. There were small differences of course, the green eyes didn't contain the feral sharpness of her own, the short croped spring hued hair was a deliberate contrast to her own long locks. And most of all, the smile, a smile filled with open welcome, innocence...

"My wife, Martel Yggdrasil, your Goddess... Mithos' Goddess..."

Yuan's rambling monologue was little more than jibberish to her ears. Rene looked upon the mirror made of canvus and paint. The girl on the other side was a ghost clad in silver and white. Her pale complextion made almost angelic by the flowing gauzy fabrics that would around her.

"It was a gift." Yuan continued, his hand fell limply to his side, he stared at the unjudging earthen floor. "From a friend. Before Martel died we were planning our wedding. It was a_ con'kith salikal _an anchinet custom, where the closest fried to the couple in question would make them a gift... This was his gift to me, Martel didn't live long eough to recieve the gift that Kratos had made for her..."

Startled by the hint of movement, he jerked his head up. Rene brushed past him, looked up into Martel's face, the emrald eyed child's face was almost as pale as his lovers had been. He said nothing, only watched as Rene reached up and mimed the gesture he had been making for the last few hundred years. With a shaking hand the girl traced the woman's face, caressed the painting almost as if willing it's subject to life.

"She was... pregnent, we were expecting a girl in six months time. She was murdered, assasined by humans who had a grudge against Kratos. It was her death that lead to all of this."

She looked at him, her eyes overflowing with a fear he did not understand.

"They wanted you to kill me."

"Yes, and I didn't."

"Why?"

Swallowing the Seraph indicated she should sit, but then belatedly rememberred that she had no place to sit. SHe looked at him, ignored the gesture, one hand still extended to touch the painting she looked at him. Tears gleamed in those eyes, and the Seraph forced himself to meet the girl's gaze head on.

"When I looked at you, I saw her."

"And when you look at me _now_," Rene croaked, "what do you see?"

"You." Yuan whispered, gently he cupped her chin and made her meet his gaze. "Only you."

With a whimper Rene crumpled, and he caught her as she cried like a broken hearted child.

X

Once they were both composed the Seraph stiffly offered his Second the dubious luxeries of his office. Rene happily took him up on it, and pointedly did not look at the painting as Yuan re-covered it. She'd never come down here again, Yuan wondered if he'd have the heart to ever come down here again while Rene was still alive. Sighing Yuan activated the mana disk, and with the barest flash of light they were gone, leaving the painting to it's lonely place in the darkness for hopefully many long decades to come.

X

_"Destroying Cruxis means destroying Martel." Yuan told her with a chilling finality as they had taken thier accustomed seats. "Cruxis' goal, the true goal of the Regeneration, is to find a vessel to accept Martel's essence."_

Rene tossed and turned on the bed as Yuan's words came back to haunt her like a nightmare.

_"The only thing keeping her here is Mithos' will, and the power of the Eternal Sword. Kratos is the Seal, his life force is the power that binds Origin to Mithos' service."_

_Rene had nodded. "Well that seems simple enough, just kill one man to break a seal and Mithos looses everything."_

_"No, it's not that simple. One does not simply kill derris fa sith, my child. Even if I were to cast aside millenia's worth of brotherhood to the man, killing Kratos owuld take something of absolutely catoclysmic preportions. Do not forget, he is as I am, a Seraphim. I find myself balking, I don't want to do this."_

_"So, three people are more important then the millions of people that Mithos is going to kill, sacrifice, and torment?" Rene had flared._

The look in Yuan's eyes, even now that she was trying to sleep and hours had passed since he'd pinned it on her, made her writh.

_"Would you so easily cast aside my life, the lives of your friends here, to save the world? Would you willingly go forward knowing that to pursue this path you will have to do so anyways? If we go all out in this war, even a war of stealth, it will mean that those we care for will die. No war fails to have casulities, and a war against Cruxis will have many. It will be a protracted, bitter, conflict that may very well consume us both. If we fail to conclude it in our lives then it will consume those who come after us."_

_"It already has, it's just that the victums don't know thier victums yet."_

_"Astute, as always Second." Yuan had murmurred. "It's late, try to get some sleep."_

_"You've made a decision?"_

_"Yes, and I've one more to make, alone."_

_Startled by the anger in Yuan's voice Rene had nodded._

_"Rene mer d-"_

_"Please, Yuan. Don't call me that."_

_Silence, more damning than any angry, painfilled rejoinder could have ever been._

_"I... it doesn't feel right. I'm not Martel's daughter, and you love her. Don't make me something I'm not to assuge your guilt."_

_"Fine." The man's voice became chilly. "Leave then Second, I have no more need of you."_

Never, ever had Yuan been that cold to her, never that hateful. She shivered from the memory of it, wondered how the hells she was going to even hide the fact of what had happened between them from the other comanders. In the darkness she shivered from a cold that no mere blanket could banish.


	30. half resolution

_Short update... I promise I'll resolve the character conflict soon but my time is so limited though and I don't trust the FF acount to hold too much so I have to put up my stuff as fast as I can._

Chapter 30

Defiance Birth of the Renegades

"By moving those set on non-combatant ways of life-"

"Pacifists." Rene murmured to the baffled Z'eh.

"Oh, weaklin-"

Yuan's icy gaze settled on his Second and Armsmaster. The other sub commanders cringed back at the raw venom that Yuan pinned on them both. Rene lifted her gaze, met Yuan's anger head on while Z'eh cringed back into his chair.

"I was merely clarifying a point, My Lord."

Dead quiet reigned in the meeting room. Yuan mulled over Rene's words -but minus the waspish tone in the girl's voice- could find nothing to criticize.

"No interruptions, _girl_."

"Shit, fur's flying." Clavk mouthed to Yashin.

The head engineer nodded, not brave enough to mouth a similar sentiment.

"And if you have anything constructive to add Sir Clavk, then please, do speak up."

It was official; life was going to be hell for them all. Yuan's façade of cool indifference -shattered by rage and pain- promised them all that. Feruon all but melded with her chair in terror. Z'eh watched the door and windows, obviously waiting for the first chance to use either of them to get out. Yashin shook his head, disgusted, but kept any comments to himself. He'd wait until after the meeting to speak his mind.

"My lord, after words I have an issue with the Rheiard weapon design I'd like to ask you about." The engineer dared.

"Fine."

Clavk only looked at his friend as if he was insane, and he probably was right, Yashin admitted. But meekly going along with this was a kind of crazy too, and it was a type that Yashin wanted nothing to do with. Meeting the supply master's eyes he jerked his head to Rene, and the older half elf nodded his understanding. Yashin would take Yuan, Clavk would take Rene, satisfied the pale half elf settled back into his chair and forced himself not to cringe when Rene brought up a error in on of the Serph's plans. While that wasn't wrong the tone of the correction was nasty enough that Feruon flinched.

_To be utterly proper about this, the term would be 'passive agressive', and Yuan isn't one to take any type of -how would Z'eh put it?- crap_. Yuan bristled, his eyes flashed with malice, and Second and Lord snipped at each other for the rest of the meeting, thier personal fued so great the purpose of the gathering was lost and long fogotten.

X

Clavk stroked the tangled mat of hair he'd been growing along the sides of his face. He'd been following the Armsmaster and Second down the hall for a while without being acknowledged. Had eavesdropped without stealth, and what he heard hadn't pleased him. "Second, I need a word with you, now."

Rene frowned, stopped talking to Z'eh and stared at the steely-eyed half elf with some humor.

"I have plans."

"Not anymore." Clavk growled. "Now, Rene."

"Hey." Z'eh's hand closed around the hilt of his blade. "Rene says she doesn't want you around, so just butt out old man."

"You need a fool to fight your battles?" Clavk rumbled. "I'm disappointed Second, and I can see the cause of some of Yuan's displeasure."

Rene flinched. Then her coloring began to turn red. He'd hit a nerve, a sensitive one, but his own unflappable manner seemed to let the steam out of her rage before it could do any harm. A shame that wasn't true for Z'eh, the man growled, drew his blade, but Rene put a hand over the ex-bandit's arm.

"That's enough Z'eh, he didn't mean it. I'll see you later tonight."

Grudgingly Z'eh stepped down, sheathed his blade, but there was an unspoken promise of revenge at a later date. Both half elves waited until the Armsmaster was gone, then Rene crossed both arms over her chest. Perhaps remembering that it was one of Yuan's pet gestures she let them fall limp to her side, and glared at the bulky Supplies Master.

"You've got my attention, what do you want to talk about?"

"Privately."

Shrugging Rene followed Clavk. Without her inquisitiveness, her passion, she seemed little more than a ghost of herself. Stroking the tangled mess of hair around his chops the half elf mulled, and wondered, and resolved to get his answers.

X

"I see no plans."

"Because I'm not here to talk plans." Yashin snapped.

Startled the Seraph actually rose an eyebrow. Yashin was being vehament, a very far cry from the normally dispassionate young half elf Yuan had stumbled upon while making his rounds among the ranches hospital. Yuan recalled the pale face, the emaciated figure, the mess of weeping red whip marks that had laced the half elf's back. Still despite all those signs of distress the young man had looked around. His eyes only filled with cool calculation.

"You aren't what you seem, I have eyes you know." Yashin had croaked from his bed, lifting a head to better stare at the man who'd be his superior officer. "You haven't taken a breath of air since you got in here."

Shaking the memories from his mind Yuan recalled his anger, and let his own icy eyes nerrow.

"If you are here to discuss my personal problems then you may leave."

"A wise man once said something to a friend of mine; "_it's no longer about me, or anyone else that I am fond of, rather I must look beyond all those things to achieve a goal that might very well save a dying world_". it's paraphrased somewhat, twisted around a little, but you get the idea, _Lord_ Yuan."

The seraph growled, his hands clenched and unclenched, and Yashin nodded.

"Yes, you can kill me. Yggdrasil certainly would for such words." The half elf shrugged. "At least he would, if you have not erred in describing him. I'll ask you this my lord, then leave you alone. Are you a Seraphim of Cruxis, or Yuan Vor'esse? Our tyrant or our savior? You can't be both, Mithos tries and fails utterly, and is a crappy friend besides." Yashin pulled himself to his feet, inclined his head in an anchient elven gesture of respect. "Think well upon it my Lord, think long and hard. Whatever issues you have with Rene must take a second place to the running of this organization. Whatever pain she has inflicted upon you you must be prepared to forgive, and if your only motivation for doing so is the betterment of this organization, than fine." Yashin's eyes grew distant. "Though I think... she must forgive herself first, she acts guilty of late. Pleasent sun's flight to you, Lord Yuan."

"Where do you hale, Comander Yashin?" Yuan murmurred, his eyes distant as thought began to cloud over them.

"I started in Heimdal, was exiled, and then found myself adrift in a different world. Where do I hale, Yuan?" Yashin smirked. "Triet, of course. It's my home, I beg you... don't make it my hell."

"Have you... ever had a child, Yashin?"

"I'm only one hundred my Lord." the half elf smiled grimly. "I'm a little young to be having children when my life expectency is a millenia. In the eyes of my kinsmen I'm little more than a child myself."

"We aren't like humans, we can live a millenia, a century, nothing is guarenteed. Not with our own bloods being at war with one another." Yuan corrected absently.

"I preceeve myself as a child, I strive to be an adult. I decide conciously to remain this way despite my age, my maturity, because despite all the mistakes that they can make and the general lack of forsight children posess amazing flexability. Adults, can be... so stagant."

Yuan snorted, a glint of humor flickured in those azura eyes.

"How very true. Is this how you explain off your lack of organization and culinary skills?"

Yashin chuckled. "Vice, my lord, it's all vice. We all need a few, gives the priest something to scold us for when we're in town."

for the first time in days Yuan managed a laugh, he waved Yashin out the door and the half elf nipped out before the moody Seraph decided to go back to sulking.


	31. Mending and Breaking

A_/N: Been working on Shards for a while, I figured I'd offer an update to Defiance before it drifted to the bottom of my fanfic list. I wrote this to "Passion: After the Battle" from Kingdom Hearts 2, and "When ALl Hope has Faded" my fav CT remix,. While I haven't played the game (I'm saving up for the system and also to buy Tales of the Abyss, Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2, as well as Dirge of the Cerebus) I like some of the music._

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 31

A Slow Mending and Breaking

"_There's never anything so shattered that it can't be mended." Martel Yggdrasil_

"You're as pigheaded as your father." Clavk growled. "And despite whatever his little revelation was about, nothing changes that."

She looked at him; her pale face was wan, her emerald eyes glinting with unshed tears. Disturbed to see his superior officer show her vulnerability Clavk studied the wall behind the Second's head. He hated moments like this, hated it when he was reminded of the reality of his situation. With thirty seven years of life to his name, he was willingly being lead by a sixteen year old. Seeing such raw heartbreak in her eyes he now knew her true age, and got an uncomfortable glimpse past the confident sure façade she always upheld. Her age her inexperience, the flaws of such was written in the fire of her unshed tears.

Reaching out, greatly daring –she was still his superior officer after all- he placed his thick fingered hands over her own.

"If you need someone to talk about it to…"

"I can't, it's classified." Rene shivered. "Well… I think it is, and I'm not going to betray Yuan, even if he's done so to me."

She looked at him, and her green eyes pierced his mask of concern, comfort, and her lips curled into a bitter little smile.

"You're a good man Clavk, but I imagine you have a lot more to do then watch me feel sorry for myself. Thank you, for trying to help." She gently freed her hands from his. "I've a lot to do as well. Crisis' aside, paperwork waits for no one, nor cares for their personal problems. And… there is an attack to plan, training to oversee..."

_And an organization of psychopathic, megalomaniac, homicidal, feathered half elven "angels" to bring down. There's that, and I can never forget. Time, like paperwork, will wait for no one; I dare not be left behind. _

The impossibility of the task Yuan had described loomed over her, nearly smothered her into despair. But she had not time for despair, for pain, for grief... She had no time...

"Please, leave me alone Clavk, let me deal with this on my own. Even if you wanted to you can't help me, I have to help myself."

She turned, he white coat rustled around her much like a cape would. Watching her leave after making an absently acidic retort that was half insult half reassurance Clavk couldn't help but grin. It was like his human father used to say, hard tasks that drew blood only drew the bad blood. What you kept in you was the good, and as you got smarter and lost the last of the bad you stopped bleeding.

They'd stop bleeding. Whatever callous stupid thing Yuan had done would become meaningless, whatever harsh adolescent birthed lash back that Rene had favored the Seraph with would fade. Time, time might help, but forgiveness and understanding would fix the rest.

And understanding would come, none of the commanders could force it though, but it would come.

"Rene,-" Clavk's deep voice carried across the steel hall. "-you do whatever you want, do whatever you _need_, focus on whatever duties you've got if that helps. Just don't wait too long to forgive him, you hear me?"

She stiffened a harsh retort on her lips then she swallowed it with obvious effort. She left without saying a word absently trailing her sulky silence behind her like a ill placed cloak. The hissing magi-tech door behind her even sounded a bit sulky and Clavk sighed at the ominous sound. While things might get fixed it was going to be a painful long time before they were back to normal.

Knowing Rene and Yuan's incredible ability to be thickheaded and stubborn he knew that it was going to be a take a very long time.

X

"Exire." Yuan sighed, rubbing his temples as the pounded with the force of his remembrance. Such a stagnant place, a span of earth that Mithos had risen upon the winds of his sorcery. The people of Exire he recalled were all half elven. They lived in the shattered cathedrals and temples of forgotten gods. It was the only "strong hold" for half elves, and strong hold wasn't even the right word for it. "It might work, I don't imagine the people within have any love of those allied to Cruxis."

"A true neutral ground, never figured there was one for the likes of us..." Z'eh admitted after a span.

The other commanders nodded, considered, then dug into the report for probably the second time to get a better grasp on the startling idea.

Rene nodded in response to Yuan's praise then shifted in her chair a bit. Finally she went back to studying the report she'd written. The green haired half elf was probably going over it for the thousand time to hunt out non-existent errors. The other commanders were pleased with the plan, pleased with their Second's ingenuity and cunning, and Yuan was not going to allow any private bitterness steal a moment from his pride. It was a beautiful strategy, and he took pleasure in the fact that the girl he'd personally trained had managed to answer a question that had him pulling his hair out by the fistful.

"We should send someone to Exire, to feel out the ground, make a survey, and get permission from whatever government they have there to establish some bases,-" Yuan began, he fished out a spare bit of parchment and set and antique feather quill pen in his hand to begin to take notes. "-with the permission of the locals of cour-"

"No, that's not the point."

Yuan blinked, looked up at his second and frowned.

"Second Rene, you've solved our problem of resources, but in order to harvest those resources..."

"We'd lose the neutral ground in a heartbeat if we came in any sort of force."

"I'm not talking about enslaving them..." Yuan began.

"If nothing else it would be very Desian-ish to do that and we aren't Desians." Yashin cut in.

"Desian-ish?" Feruon chuckled. "I don't believe that's a word."

"Well until we get a name for ourselves it's going to have to work until I can properly paraphrase the sentence to include a proper nominative for this very undesian-ish organization."

Clavk groaned, rubbed his aching temples. "Goddess damn it, it's the last time I let you near my grammar books again you-"

"Banter on your off time." Yuan snapped. "Those of you without an actual point shut up, Rene, continue. You seem to have a point to your objection, and I'd like to hear it."

"We can't make a base, one because that takes land, and the notes I've found in your library indicate that Exire has precious little of that. Two, we might not actually intend to invade but I wager they'd take it like that and make a pre-emptive strike if we put more than a handful of people on Exire at a time..."

"Hence the diplomat, survey, and..."

"And third,-" Rene growled, the tone of her voice actually shutting Yuan up and making the other undesian-ish desians start. "-making a base, harvesting resources... those weren't the reasons I penned this. You're too entrenched in Kharlan War type thinking, my Lord."

"And I'm too old to learn how to change without some youngster forcing me to every step of the way?"

"I would not see it my place to criticize..."

Z'eh gwafed at that and Yuan shot the man a death glare. Ignoring Yuan's silent reproach and the other commanders' glares the weapons master smirked.

"Kid, that's your job. You pluck his feathers out when he gets too damn hard assed on us, and you tell 'im to heel and sit when he needs t' damn well heel and sit."

"Really?" Rene grinned evilly at Yuan. "Perhaps if I pull feathers out I should donate them to a certain new faction that consists of the bulk of our organization's women."

Realizing what she meant Yuan shuddered. The other commanders looked baffled, exchanged looks of askance amongst themselves... save Feruon, who blushed.

"We need a retreat strategy. A way to pull back, and more importantly a place to hide. While I don't think sending a someone down to investigate Exire is a bad thing and maybe sending a small force down to help them wouldn't be a bad either we can't... What I mean is, it would be in poor diplomatic taste to just march in and say "we'll help you now if you'll do such and such for us in the future"."

"It's called _charity with strings attached_." Clavk supplied. "And I'll admit, while it's logical the idea leaves a bitter taste in my mouth."

Yashin nodded. "Well whatever we decide to do, the Reihards can make the trip and back with little difficulty. Even with my private technician Draik's "Declining world mana absorption equation" taken into account..."

"Wasn't that a theory you covered last week?" Rene's sounded a little sick.

But then recalling the three hour long meeting that had been little more then Yashin yapping about mana depletion Yuan could understand the tone. First Yashin had proved that mana depletion did occur, then he began to explain how it happened in long boring detail.

"With Lord Yuan's generously stocked library we were able to conduct experiments showing that it is in fact true. The declining world cannibalizes it's own mana, and it is in fact the final gasps of a world's failing ecosystems that lead to the state we know as "mana depilation". Unlike common theory states, it is not the magi or magitechnology process that causes the bulk of..."

"Yashin, we don't want to go over that again!" Z'eh barked.

"It's Head Technician to you, Armsm-"

"Enough!" Yuan snarled. "They next person who talks without any purpose behind it gets gagged! Yashin, no theory's unless I ask about something! Z'eh, while you may savor the fact you are an ignorant fool we don't need to hear you glorying about it!"

Silence settled onto Yuan's office, a long sulky silence only punctured by the angry glares that Yashin and Z'eh pinned upon each other.

"Now then, explain why we need a "retreat strategy", Second, and be convincing. I personally think that you're being over cautious."

"When planning a millennia long war, my lord," Rene met his eyes, for perhaps the first time in a long fortnight. -there is no such thing as "overly cautious"."

"Persuade me, then."

So she did.

X

_"What would Mithos do if he caught us?"_

_"Instant annihilation would be a mercy." Yuan had replied_

Blade hissed through the air, his Second caught the blade, pushed it aside, then scrambled back to avoid the stab of the follow up dagger thrust.

_"And the children, the civilians, those who seek shelter and refuse to take a part in the war that we've chosen to pursue?"_

_"All are guilty in his eyes, even the innocent. They would... be tried accordingly."_

Whipping his blade up, the Armsmaster brought his Second's weapon up with his own. The boy struggled to bring his guard back down, but Z'eh was too fast. The older half elf turned on his heel and delivered a kick to the boy's stomach. Gasping, the boy crumpled in half under the force of the blow. Ignoring the brats tears the Armsmaster took a step back and dipped the blade of his rapier down.

"Get up. You're not dead; if it were a Seraph that'd kicked you you'd of had your ribs in your lungs by now."

Groaning, the boy staggered to his feet, and again Z'eh ignored it. His job was to toughen the brats up, not coddle them when they whined.

"Get up, you've got guard duty in a bit." Z'eh nudged the downed kid with his boot, the boy whimpered, then slowly crawled to his feet. "don't want the Seraph's to get you, do you? Lord Yuan would peal the skin from your bones if you're late."

The boy shivered, but then they all did when Z'eh trotted out Seraph tales. That was the whole point. Sheathing his blades the Armsmaster watched as the pale youngster dashed -or tried, the earlier kick was obviously causing enough pain to slow him down somewhat- to the weapons rack and put away his practice blades. The boy exchanged the "fakes" or practice blades for real weapons and he handled the real ones bad enough to make Z'eh wince. While he watched the boy whose name he never bothered to learn stagger out of the salle he had why he'd picked the kid as his "Second" AKA aide.

Then he remembered, the weak sniveling brat was the best out of the lot, the sharpest, and with Z'eh's not so gentle ministrations, going to be one of the hardest, coldest, and toughest ones as well. It took a while to break someone, make them malleable to fit into what needed doing. But he was patient, a half elf could live to see a thousand years, and he told himself that all the time to make himself at least act a little patient.

If he played his cards right, he wouldn't have to wait a thousand years, only one or two, after all... It'd only had taken Yuan that long to break him, and no upstart brat was stronger then he was. None of them were.


	32. liar

A/N: Some of the real reason why Yuan hates Z'eh (or rather started out hating in the begining, I can imagine that the Seraph's reasons have shifted quite a bit now) are explained if you read very closely. I want to fleash out the soldier from the last chapter, as well as have some Yuan insight without the benifit of Rene being there to see it. There _are_ some things that he will keep from her, after all... and I also want to see how he interacts with a true victum and innocent. While some may argue that Rene was both of those things in the begining of this story I could, and will if anyone asks me to, say that she was not. She was a victum, yes, but the Desians and the world at large stole her innocence long before Yuan's influence did.

Chapter 32

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Liar

_There's a difference between a falsehood, and a lie. They are in the same in that you exercise.. shall I call it imagination over reality... but there is a fundimental difference between the two that makes falsehoods better then lies. Lies are just for self preservation, falsehoods can be spun for many reasons._

_And sometimes, when you look back -as meaningless as that difference may seem to those consumed with overweening nobility- the reasons really **do** have a meaning._

_Yashin Phalin't_

Shaking, Bryan Conell stood before his very pissed commander. He'd never learned the older guards name, knew that the man was probably was someone's grandfather or something. Curiosity on who the scarred old half elf was, well, that was the furthest thing from Bryan's mind. He studied his boots, the view was somewhat marred by his knees that were actually knocking together. He didn't think that it really happened, knees knocking together when you were scarred shit-less, but now if anyone asked he could say that when you were scared your knees really _did_ knock together...

"This is the fifth time this has happened boy, I've written you up for it twice. Armmaster Z'eh even reports he's punished for you for your slacking, but you continue to persist in your sloth. It seems like nothing I've got to say's going to make it through that Goddamned thick skull of yours!"

The old man cuffed him on the back of the head, and Bryan felt the heat behind his eyes leak out. Gods, oh gods, the commander would skin him alive if he started bawling… He tried to suppress the weakling's instincts in him, but the tears came despite himself. He whimpered, cringed back from the expected blow, and because he cringed the old man's blow didn't land on the same place, and the pain of the hit made the tears come out harder and made his breath hitch.

Frowning, the hawk nosed half elf considered the child before him. Fifteen summers old –at most- the boy was obviously shaken, and while the hit should have stung it should have done nothing more then that.

Yet the boy was carrying on like he'd been smacked with a steel blade or war hammer.

"Where were you before you were to go to post?"

"The salle, Sir"

Not liking the whipped dog air about the boy the commander scratched at his bare chin, a habit that his elven sire had dubbed "too human" and had hit him for when he was but a boy himself. Little wonder after being smacked around day in and day out that the older half elf had lashed out with a blade, and when he'd lashed out he'd gone for the kill. Not bothered overmuch at the death of his father Berun hadn't waited to let them exile him, he'd left Heimdall himself, stumbled into the Gate, and had passed himself as an elf mercenary in the flourishing world of Sylvarant.

He'd have been Armsmaster himself and not Master of the Guard –or "master of the steel headed youngin's" as he'd once jokingly called it to his Lord- but for an "accident" inflicted on him by the Silvers that had given him a permanent limp. Once the Guard Master couldn't stand for more then a few minuets on his bad foot, and Yuan had understood and tried to do what he could.

But gels and mana only went so far, and mangled nerves and muscles just couldn't be forced back into place.

Now he could stand for a few hours, and it only hurt in the cold –little chance of that in Triet, one of the reasons he liked the place most considered hell on Sylvarant- but he still wasn't quite up to an Armsmaster's job. So he'd taken what he could. He of course kept in contact with his Lord to report about the occasional problems and challenge the Seraph to a Trava game every blue moon, but overall just did what he could and kept his grumblings to himself.

He hadn't like Z'eh much, the man was harsh, and crude, but he'd kept that grumblings to himself and just done his job.

Now Bruen was wondering if that had been such a smart thing to do.

"Take off your helm."

The boy was shocked, looked up dumbly. Then without asking one damn question or even giving his superior a "what the hell" look, the boy did as he was told.

That coupled with the bruises on the boy's head, and the thin scars fresh white lines where hair hadn't grown back, told the old man enough.

_"Shit_." The word exploded from the older man's lips as he leaned forward to take in the full extent of the damage. Some of those wounds were fresh, and to prove that a thin trickle of blood seeped out from one of them. One of small wounds had _just _been ripped open by the boy pulling off the helm… feeling sick Bruen pulled open a drawer on his desk, fumbled with a jar he kept in there for emergencies. He handed it to the boy, and most telling of all was the confusion in those violet eyes.

"Apple gel, boy, slit it's hide then rub it in."

"Those are on ration I couldn't…"

"That's a goddamn order from your goddamn superior officer, Private. And at times like this I even outrank your gods damned Armsmaster. Now you do it, or I _make_ you do it, is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir…"

While Bryan meekly fulfilled the order Bruen pulled out the AVT that Lord Yuan had given him a month ago and clicked it on.

"Second, I need to get in contact with his Lordship, and I need to get it fast. I don't give a flying vulk about how pissed you're at him, or he's at you. Just get me through to him, _now_."

X

"My Lord, if this is any indicator of the true state of things…" Bruen's voice was thick. "-we are in a shit load of trouble."

Yuan nodded, considered the quaking half elven boy that the Guard Master had all but dragged to his office. Secure that his charge wasn't going to drop dead from fright, and that the presence of two superior officers was causing more stress then just Yuan's presence, Bruen had left. Seeing the severity of the boy's shakes the Seraph had to wonder if _he_ should have left, but he couldn't. He was the Ranch Master, Lord of this humble estate, and the boys charge –or rather the Guards Master's charge made in form of this battered boy- demanded his personal attention.

"Agreed, this line isn't secure, come by my office after you've made a full inspection. Any other… _abnormalities_ are to be documented and the paperwork is to be brought to me immediately."

"Yes, my Lord. I have a personal favor, my-"

"It's going to have to wait until we get together tonight to go over your notes, this line is not safe for any extended communications. I'll send for those other members of our organization who should be present."

_And exclude those who shouldn't be present. How deeply this fear and hate has been instilled in these children, I need to see it before I dare act._

"Yes, Sir." The tone was sulky.

"Guards Master, I understand you're anxiety, but we can ill afford a schism in our ranks at this early date. We must think of the whole, not the few… but as I said before, I understand. I have a daughter... I'll see what I can do within my limited sphere of influence. Yuan, out"

Feeling sick, the Seraph set the dead transmitter back in its proper place on his belt. He looked at the boy before him, about fifteen years of life to him if Yuan was any judge, and at that stage where he was composed of knobby limbs and gangly height more than anything else. Still, in the heart of adolescence when grace should not have existed, there was a faint hinting of it in the boy's manner. But only two thousand years of observation helped Yuan discern it under the mask of fear the boy was wearing.

The Seraph stood, and the young soldier yalped, hopped back, his indigo eyes far too wide, barely sane.

Meeting those rabbit eyes Yuan's soul and conscience cringed, but it did not stop him from exerting his mana over the child. His guilt was not strong enough to stop him from sending just the barest threads of calm and ease into the boy's mind.

_Look, look around, do you see anything to be scared of? It's just you, and another half elf. That's all that's here._

The boy did indeed look, the fear slowly seeping out of those eyes, the shaking subsiding so that he wasn't having to lean against the wall to keep himself upright.

"I understand you've… been roughed up a bit. Do you require assistance to get to the chair?"

Yuan's voice was its most soothing, its most soft and comforting. Rarely had anyone heard him speak so gently before, even Rene and Martel had rarely heard such an over abundance of gentleness from him. But then gentleness was a rare thing, rare in the world so therefore it was rare for the embittered Seraph who had seen far too much of the world for his liking.

"No… not nes…ess…esary… Sir."

Stiffly the boy staggered to the chair and sat. Or rather he collapsed into the chair… Yuan winced in sympathy pain, that must have hurt like the nine hells. But the boy didn't flinch, and Yuan set himself into his own chair and tried not to think of all that he'd do to Z'eh later on.

"I don't stand on cerimony in my office, Bryan, that is your name correct? Bryan Conell?"

"Ye...ess Sir..."

"It is acceptable for me to call you Bryan, then?"

"Yes, my-"

"Yuan, Yuan Vor'esse." The Seraph gently corrected the child, stalling the formality that was on the child's lips with an upraised hand. "Though I have little love for the last name, it serves."

"It... sounds elven." The boy dared, while the fear was deminished it was still there. Yuan mentally braced himself. It would take a while for him to coax the young half elf to a state of calm that the boy would feel comfortable confiding anything, hours possibly.

Thank the Fates for making Rene teach him how to act mortal, of having to learn through painful spans of trial and error how to make small talk, he'd need all of his meager diplomat skills to mend the breach within his organization.

And breach there would be, to take Z'eh down he might have to very well rend what he'd just barely started to create.

Gods damn him, if there were any real gods let them damn the stupid, ignorant, son of a bitch! His hand tightened around the edge of the desk, and only thought strength of will did Yuan refrain from gripping the desk hard enough that a piece broke off.

"It is, my Mother was an elf, my father was a human, at least I think he was." Yuan gave a small half grin that was more grimace than anything else. "I don't remember anything, or rather I remember very little. I spent most of my so called "childhood" as a pick pocket, my village was turned into little more than a gutted ruin by a brigand attack."

Curiosity was replacing fear, and Yuan mentally smiled. If nothing else, like most children, Bryan could appreciate a story. So he told his story, much to the boys and his own amazement. By keeping his tmeper in firm check and being frank and honest he was setting forth an image of being aprouchable. Lines like "It happened long ago" or "I imagine things have changed much since..." were all it took to get the boy to provide assurances that the world hadn't changed as radically as the world as it was now to be unreconizable to the millenias old Seraph. Soon Yuan was allowed a chance to rest his voice, the boy was hesitantly offering tiblits about his life... or rather both lives. Bryan saw the span of time he;d come to Triet as a kind of "rebirth" and the time after it a different life. But then a laborer to a soldier, it was quite a jump, even in the caste-less world of Sylvarant.

"I... we didn't have anything, I know we should have tried to hide what we were, Father wanted to, but Mother never had gone along with it... Those who were caught as liars, well only the strongest got into the Long Marches, the others were..." The boy's face crumpled, he shuddered, and Yuan gripped the young soldier shoulder.

"I can imagine." The Seraph growled. "I can very well imagine."

"They.. killed my father like that, he tried to heal my mother and they... speared him, like a wild boar. The blood..." The last was a small whisper. "I couldn't do _anything_."

"So, you learn the blade. To defend those who can't defend themselves."

Swallowing, Bryan nodded. The boy's violet hued locks, which were cropped close to the ears base in what Yuan thought of as a _properly militant style_, stirred slightly at the motion. Now, he would ask the first question, the first that would tell him so much. Reaching out, the Seraph absently whiped away one of the boy's tears, then tilted the child's head up. Purple eyes, no longer fearful met his own. The boys eyes were bloodshot, the expression grieved, yet the child did not flinch back from his scrutiny. Slowly, with one digit, Yuan brushed a lock of hair. The boy shivered more from the chill of the touch rather than in response to the Seraph's caress.

"You said you're from Iselia, the prefered style of hair even for an outcaste, would be long haired."

Confused, the young soldier would have nodded, save for Yuan's firm grip on his chin.

"Why did you cut it so close? Who gave that order?"

"We... were told that you did, Yuan. Armsmaster... said that it's what you wanted. If we looked the same you wouldn't be able to tell us apart, that way when the fighting got bad and we died... you wouldn't care."

Disgust flashed across his cool collected facade. The boy's wide eyes took it in, and when Yuan sank back into his chair the boy thoughtfully leaned forward and put his elbows on the Seraph's desk. For once not concerned about invading his superior's personal space, the boy mulled over what he had just said. And, by his expression, he was thinking for himself for the first time.

"He lied, didn't he, Yuan? You look so surprised when I said that so you couldn't have said that. He lied to us about that."

"Yes, I'd never give that order. If nothing else, something you do I'd have to be illing to inflict upon myself, and I've grown fond of my long hair over the ages..."

There was a snickure on the boy's part. "Fond or not you need to trim it, how can you see?"

"Carefully, Private, very carefully." Yuan's lips quirked into a small smile, but then he quelched the gesture.

"Private Bryan Collens." Yuan leaned forward, reached out and clasped one of the childs hands in his own. "I need to know what else Z'eh has told you, whay types of lies he's fed you and the others."

Bryan considered, new to betrayal and trechery his young maind syed from such things. But then, looking into the man who'd told him the truth, he nodded.

"Alright, what do you want to know.

"Everything."


	33. Hearts War: Part One

_A/N: Written to "Hymn of Valor" from the Chrono Symphonic Project, the stately theame really helped form this chapter and set the mood for me. For the darker portion I wrote to the song ""Last Stand", it's all from the same people who did CT Symphonic. As it is, I'm a little muddled (I've seemed to have caught yet another cold) so my spelling and grammer might be a little off. Still, this is the only day I've gotten off in almost a week, so I figured I should try to update. Anyways, loooong update, as the second to last "key event" gets kicked off and put into motion._

Defiance, Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 32

Hearts War: Opening maneuvers

_"All mistakes must be redeemed, all errors mended, and no by the hands of the divine but the hands of the sinner. This is the belief of those truly capable of justice." Botta, Yuan's Current Second._

They stood in a natural run way. A path of granite that had been given a light dusting of dust and sand by the sporadic winds, like the rest of Triet it was a dull yellow color made grainy by the millions of grains of sand that rested upon it. The air was stifling, choked the lungs, and there wasn't a shred of wind to stir things enough to offer even an imagined sanctuary against the sun's rays. Coughing, the young man clad in black lifted his short sword, while not his favored weapon it was the one he'd been instructed to use. The archer before him was clad in black, and in the shimmering windless air his features were blurred into a morass of meaningless color. Wiping the beads of sweat from his eyes, wiping the thin cut on his lip from the last filed attack, the young soldier twisted the hilt of his blade.

Steel gleamed; there was a 'click' then a shaft sprung out from the weapon. A viewer versed in weapons lore would know from the existence of the newly reveled shaft that that weapons' crossbar was hollow as well as part of the hilt. All but invisible due to its size, the span of air sheathed in magipolycarbonite started in the shadowed recesses of the short sword's exaggerated hand guard and barely brushed against the young fighters first finger. There was a "tink", sparing half a second to see that the stone stored in the hilt had fallen into place, the boy slammed the shaft closed. There was a hum, a hiss, then the weapon began to shake in his hands. Runes etched into the weapon upon the day of the blades construction, then sheathed in a coating of lead gleamed. The once hidden, the once invisible, seeped a violet radiance that spilled out past the runes and climbed up the length of steel. Power sizzled up the length of the steel, and wrapped the once mundane item in a seething aura of purple light.

Taking that s his signal, the archer released his first arrow, with a cry Bryan swung the blade, and the power trailing behind it caught the projectile and turned it into ash mere inches from hitting home. Ducking under the arch of lightning made by his weapons passing, the soldier charged, closing the distance between himself and the archer. Hearing the familiar hiss of an arrows; flight the young man wiped his blade before him, incinerating it mere seconds before it plunged into his chest. Stepping back, his measured tread made into serpentine blur in the shimmering air, the archer pulled off one more shot then dropped his weapon and pulled a sword from his belt. Steel met steel, the younger's weapon exploding into a blinding brilliance. Knowing this was going to happen, the younger scrunched his eyes up at the last second, and turned his face to the side so that if blindness did occur it would only effect one eye.

His eyes fluttered open when icy hands wrapped around his wrists, and he only had enough time to register that sensation before he was sent flying over his foes shoulder. He hit the hard earth, only managing to keep a grip on his shield through pure will. Slowly, gasping out painful curses, he staggered to his feet, the enchanted weapon still clutched in his now bruised and bloody hands.

Nodding, the black clad archer pulled his staff sword hybrid from it's place on his back and made the universal "come get me" gesture. Shaking his head to clear out the sand for his hair the young soldier hefted his blade and charged. Swallow hissed, twirled in those deceptively slender hands, and would work like an water ran tree splitting saw. At the last second the younger combatant skidded to a stop, hopped back, and the whirling blade swept down and plunged into the sand and through the stone.

Seeing his opportunity the young soldier smashed his blade into that of his foes, lightning crawled from his blade and up that of his opponents.

With a shocking boom not unlike a thunder after a lightning strike, the last of the energy from the weapon funneled into the two thousand and some odd years old steel and threw both of them back.

Laying on his back, gasping, Bryan came too only when a shadow had fallen over him. Limiting his already limited vision of the world to a black blur.

"Not bad. Despite the_ shocking_ conclusion."

Bryan chuckled, and when he felt more sure of himself took the icy hand of his superior and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.

"Same time, tomorrow. And... if you're late again I'll make you run a lap before we begin to spar."

"Yes, Lor- er..." Seeing those sapphire eyes narrow the boy corrected himself. "-Yuan! Right, Yuan! It won't happen again!"

"It better not." Yet despite his threat, the Seraph smiled, absently tucking a lose strand of azure back under his steel helmet. "Now, get out of here, and don't draw attention to yourself on the way back."

Bryan nodded, spent a moment to root amongst the sand and pick up his blade. _His_ blade, not some practice sword or the crap that Z'eh made him use when he was in the Salle, but a honest to Gods real blade. It was a weapon, one that he could use to really defend himself, and it's secret compartment let him make up for his inability to use magic. A gift from Yuan, gripping the warm hilt he remembered the pride that he'd felt when Yuan had dubbed him worthy to use the real weapon and not the fake one that the Seraph would steal out of the salle.

Gripping the blade, he sheathed it with the respect it was worth. Looked to the man -who appeared to be morning the death of his favored Swallow- who had given it to him.

Armmasters aren't to inspire fear, but respect, pride, and while pain is a teacher it should be one used with caution and reservation. You will bleed, you will be in pain, but I promise you this, it will never be more than you can bare. The goal isn't to break you, to make you sink into apathy where life and death have no meaning. It's to teach you how to wield a sword, so that when you decide to do so, you know how. I do this so that when you move to the stage where thought becomes as important as action you can figure what causes you champion without the fear of inadequacy. That, more than _anything_ else, is the true job of an Armsmaster.

"L- Yuan."

The Seraph looked up from stroking the flat of his charred Swallow. Without the hair in his face or the grandeur of his customary "leader" attire, the sharp lines of his face seemed almost as if they were cast in ice. His customary unruffled expression was back in place, an imperfect broken mask that only shattered around those glacier cold eyes. Hate offered the cracks on those orbs a red tint, frustration, grief, cast the edges with a tinge of gray. As for joy, Bryan could not imagine the Seraph to ever have ever been joyful or happy at all.

But then, a man could not strive to protect others enough so that they could find happiness without having once felt some pleasure himself.

"You dropped this."

Lifting the rapier left by his feet, young man turned it over in his hands. The long slender blade gleamed golden in the sunlight, and the Seraph squinted into the blinding light.

"I believe, I did." Yuan said slowly, his eyes watching the weapon intently.

With a flick of his wrist Bryan tossed the weapon, and the Seraph caught it with a lazy flourish, and sheathed it with a bow.

"Tomorrow, Private, I believe I'll try my hand at a new weapon. As for you, you'd best run along. You mustn't be late for your appointment with the Armsmaster."

The last was said with a sneer directed at a man that the Seraph had quietly hated for almost a decade.

"No, I won't be late." Bryan's eyes flashed dangerously, and his blood seemed to heat up making the unbearable dessert heat all the more potent. Yuan nodded, recognized the boy's emotion, even if the boy didn't know it for himself.

"Take an icy shower to cool your blood before you see him. After words, you have guard duty over Rene. She's going to be delivering a report to my office, escort her there. If Z'eh gives you hell take it as fast as you can then get the hell out, even if that means getting thrashed."

Seeing the distaste, the frustration, Bryan grimaced. Yuan didn't like giving the order anymore than Bryan was liked following it.

The sigh he let out came from the bottom of his black boots, and he whiped his face and offered a tired grin at his Lord. "No one said life was easy."

"No one said life would entail beatings and harassment, either."

To that counter Bryan just shrugged and after a cautious look around to make sure the coast was clear made a bolt back to the base.

"And it won't." Yuan promised under his breath. He watched the boy made his way back to the base. For once he took some pleasure that despite the shimmering air currents and gritty landscape that he could follow the child's progress. "So long as it's in my power to prevent it, life won't be hell for anyone -save for a very select few of course."

Drawing his wings Yuan looked upon the grounds that he had once served to train Rene and Z'eh. The spans of ruby and pink pressed against his sides as he lifted his gaze to the sun whose warmth he had not felt for over two thousand years. There was a flash of light as he forsook his form of flesh and blood, and he abandoned the place that had once been a salle. Only a rain of pink feathers and broken swallow remained to show that he'd been there. The scorched swallow shuddered as the wind shifted, then tinged against the earth as it collapsed. The belated breeze kicked up and began the long tedious task of burying the steel under the sand and making dunes alongside the flanks of the Desian Ranch.

X

"Guard Master, thank you for taking the time and effort to come." Clasping hands with the aged half elf, the Seraphim was pleased to only see a hint of discomfort in those steel hued eyes.

"Course my Lord, rather I'd be meeting you on something other than this crisis."

"Yes, but now, here, we may do something about-"

The door hissed open, and a weary looking Rene entered the office. The battered stool had been removed, and with it, the most visible reminder of Rene's childhood as well.

_All childhoods end sometime_, Yuan mused bitterly, _and my hand is responsible for taking hers, as well as that of all who are involved in this so-called organization._

Second sat in one of the chairs he'd set aside for her, and much to both Guard Master and Second's surprise Yuan invited the Private to take a seat as well.

"In a time of crisis the protocol of rank is suspended, part of our... governmental writings." Yuan said, in way of explanation. "I've set Mer C-"

"Sir, Yuan, I'm not from Tethe'alla, remember? And, please... Bryan's good enough for me."

"Fine." The Seraph nodded, and Rene looked shocked at what she dubbed to be the child's audacity. Certainly the Guards Master was clearly thrown by the boy's non-chalet usage of Yuan's familiar name. "Bryan has been doing some, what's the popular term nowadays, undercover investigations for me? Regardless, I've employed this young man's services to investigate a disturbing trend. Bruen was the man who gave me the warning, and unlike other times where I've ignored such things due to sentimentalism I've acted promptly. Hopefully promptly enough to mend the wound before it destroys us form the inside out."

"I wasn't even aware there was a crisis." Rene protested.

"I didn't inform you because I needed to know more before I dared act. The evidence was scant, now, I find it plentiful. Bryan, if you'd hand me the helm I had Mer. Yashin design last night."

"Huh? You mean he tweaked my helmet without tell-"

"At my order." Yuan cut in. "He was to keep his mouth shut. And Yashin only talks a sentence's worth every three weeks, so it wasn't that hard an order for him to follow."

"I'm not liking all this secrecy, my Lord." Rene grumbled.

"I don't either, _mer delinia_, but it's needful. My most harshest critic is going to be you, unfortunately."

"I can only imagine. Rumor holds that the Lady has some interest in Z'eh." The Guards Master scratched at his bare chin, a humored smile on his lips as Rene vocally protested that she did not have _any_ interest in _anyone_.

"-and if I was interested in anyone it wouldn't be that thick, stupid, ignorant, assanine-"

Yuan raised a brow at Rene's extensive swearword and insult proficency, Bryan put a hand over his mouth to hide the fact he was smiling.

"I'm glad you've had something of a falling out with him, it might make my job a little easier." Yuan murmured, as he pressed the small square shaped indent in the helm that had, by the looks of it, pulled out some of the Privates hair earlier today. "These are yours, I imagine?"

Sheepishly Bryan twined the stray hairs, then brushed them off his fingers so they fell upon the floor.

Ignoring Yuan's fascination with the boy's helmet Rene pulled her long bangs out of her eyes. "You'll probably gloat to hear that I've had a falling out with Z'eh. I stopped by to watch one of his so called practices, and the hell I saw him put the youngest through makes me sick. I've pulled most of the children out of his _class_," Rene spat the last word, "and I've put out the papers to authorize a stripping of everything save "ceremonial powers" of his office. That man shouldn't run an salle, and I've been a fool to not see it sooner."

"I never got that paperwork." Yuan murmured, his voice muffled by the desk that he had poked his head under to retrieve something.

"Neither did I." Bruen growled.

"Head Tech.Yashin did, I dropped it off myself." Bryan offered. "I was going to mention that before I went to the salle, Yuan, but I didn't have time to run here then back to the salle again. He... gave orders for us to waylay the Vryce's aides and destroy the paperwork."

Having set the helm in his lap -the disk was stubbornly not coming out so he'd decided to use a knife to forcible withdraw the blasted thing- Yuan had ducked his head under his desk. Under his desk was a cache of projectile weapons, one loaded crossbow, and a few throwing knives. Having not bothered to re-equip himself after his sparring match with Bryan, the Seraph was for once caught without a weapon. So he was going through the motions of fishing out one of the secret knives he kept under a loose board.

He had done so, confident that he wasn't going to get any surprises, however Bryan's words were such a shock that he jerked his head up.

There was a thump, and a curse. The Lord of the Bases' head reappeared with unseemly speed. His sapphire eyes glinted with a razors edge, Rene's emerald eyes blazed dangerously, and even the vernable half elf warrior's eyes took on a steely light.

"You did _what_!?" The Seraph and Second roared at the same time.

"_I_ didn't do it, I just jumped the guy and dropped off the paperwork." Bryan squeaked, cringing in his chair. He felt like he was being poked with a hundred little knives. "And I didn't hurt him, really I didn't, I just whacked my aide's helmet with the flat of my blade and left him tied up in a closet." Fumbling, Bryan pulled off some pouches off of his belt. Eventually he came across a folded pamphlet that was stained with grease from the sandwich that he'd had in their earlier. "I even used a magi-teck copier to make copies, I was going to run them to every other important person in the base, but I ran out of Gald after I got the first copies printed up."

Yuan snatched the papers form the boy's hand and his eyes blazed over the contents in a few moments.

"What else did he order?" Yuan growled, not lifting his gaze from the papers.

"No- well... actually I think I heard him tell Vanion to steal some type of list."

"What type of list." Rene prompted, seeing that Yuan was for all and purposes made mute by his rage.

"Key, list... something key?" Bryan shrugged. "I didn't hear it all. I'm not exactly really good with this whole spying thing, alright!" The adolescent suddenly flared.

"We never asked you to be." Rene soothed. "What you did was very brave..."

"Stupid, rash, and dangerous as all Hells." Bruen growled. "I'm displeased with Lord Yuan's handling of the matter."

"My resources were limited." Yuan snapped. "As is my power. Despite tales to the contrary I handed a great deal of my power to my subordinates to prevent me abusing it." The Seraph's eyes grew distant. "I never expected however, for it to be turned upon me. Knowing Z'eh, I should have expected it. Second Rene, Private Bryan, I want you to fetch all the sub-commanders, save the Armsmaster. Escort them to my office, personally, trust no one else save each other..."

"He'll know." Rene said.

"He knows anyways. He's made his first move, now it's my turn to make mine."

Starlets of violet hue crackled around the Seraph's temples, they surged with power in time with his pulse. Setting the papers down, he rubbed the ashes off of the top most page that was going to smolder in his hands. Lifting his gaze, he swept it around the room, and all could see the lightning flash, lighting blazed over the ice of the man's eyes.

"Take the crossbow, the bolts, and my rapier, Rene. That ceremonial blade of yours isn't suitable for killing, and knowing Z'eh, it will come down to killing, lots of it. Move out. Bruen, hold fort for a bit, I'm going down to my chambers to retrieve some of the weapons I keep there. Knockout anyone who enters that isn't with Rene or Bryan, but if they fight back you have my leave to kill."

Drawing his mace, the Guards Master nodded, and staggered to his feet to take a weary watch by the door. Rene and Bryan shuffled out, neither speaking with the other, and satisfied that things wouldn't deteriate further Yuan ducked into his back room and stepped upon the raised pad that was made of purest white marble. Sensing his life force. The runes hummed to life, the device checked his mana signature, and then the red light turned to a familiar soothing green luminescence.

"The password is; _The Seed of Life, rests 'tween the fabric of the Two Worlds_," Taking a deep breath the Seraph closed his eyes, better that he didn't watch during this part. Seeing universes compress, twist, and twine would make him throw up what little food he'd supped on last week. "Destination key words, _Open Wide the Gate to Kharlan, Open Wide the Gates of Hell, For They Are One and the Same_. Initiate the portal lock sequence until the counter password is uttered upon the Kharlan gate by my voice, and no other."

Her voice, or rather one similar to it whispered through the air, breathed in his ear. "Order acknowledged, estimated time to be complete, point five seconds."

Which of course was enough time to clench his teeth, clench his fists, and brace himself for the agony of long distance teleportation. Luckily though, it was not long enough for him to scream. At least not out loud. But the cries of rage, frustration, and pain, resounded in his skull, a damning symphony that would ring all the louder for the silences that were housed within his heart. A silence that marked the world of Derris Kharlan, his destination.


	34. HW: Taking Positions

_a/n: To do this section I had to map out the whole Triet Renegade Base. Honest to gods, I've been looking at the damned map that I drew to write this whole chapter -I tossed the old symphonia one I'd been using away, as it was far too limited, even to use for notes- and it is because my obsession with details and the like that this little "war" is going to take so long. The Renegades are going to have to fight thier way through thier own base. This part will be lots of fun for readers who love the details, and for those who don't just try to be patient, please? Hopefully the combat, delemias, and raw destruction will slake the most impatient reader while I exercise the power of my mapping and old DandD compaining skills._

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 34

Hearts War: The War Within

Taking positions

"_There are things we've done that we can't talk about them. Never does Kratos mention in detail what's happened to the various Chosen's that he's escorted, and you've known all of them to have died during some part of the "Regeneration Journey"._

_Now, let me tell you what I do know. _

_From reading his reports I know the precise number of the Chosen's that have suicided and he stood by, and did nothing. So, when you think that he's been totally honest, you might want to think about what he used to do, what he used to be, and acknowledge that there are things he will never tell you about… _

…_But know that they burn, all sins do, and because we are truly beings beyond heaven or hell that internal slow smoldering is the closest to the ebony gates of the damned that we'll ever get._

_Myself, I'm no clean saint either, none of us are, and the question of "What have I done" son-of-Kratos, I will never answer._

_But the sins do burn, and the burning never stops, take comfort in that, as you die."_

_Lord Mithos Yggdrasil, Lord of Heaven (expert from RD version of the Altessa scene for Shards)_

Weapons were laid out and hesitant hands grasped them. None dared to ask, as they stared upon the ancient arsenal marked with the emblems of Cruxis, where such weapons had been gathered. Gripping her new rapier, Rene considered keeping the one Yuan had loaned her, but the Seraph stopped her with a waved hand.

"He saw the experiments, the tests, just like the rest of you. Whatever backers he's gathered from our own are going to be armed with the best of the best, and all of them are going to be loaded up with black quartz. These weapons, will counter it, as I've seen fit to steal from Mithos' store a catch of white quartz. I asked Kratos to take the edge of my stunt, he agreed, and I'll send him a report on the outcome so he beleives the story I fed him. All of this will happen _after_ things have been put into repose in our base, of course."

No one dared ask, not yet, not now. But the spark of curiosity in Rene's eyes told Yuan that sometime soon, when all this hell had died down, she would ask.

Fine, let her, if she asks than she deserved to know.

"Now," the Seraph drew out a map of the base they stood in. "Using logic, we can assume that he's going to make his strong point the Salle, we'll spread out, then close in. I want all his grunts nutralaized with a minimum of death. Strike first to destroy the weapons, free whatever hostages might be taken, neutralize the underlings, then move them to these points." Yuan's long fingers traced invisible circles around three very bizzare seeming places in his fortress. One was the storeage sheds in the heart of the base, another was the sheds ouside the main fortress that was where the new mana generators were set, and the third was the control room for the bases defense system. I want those with children taken to the outskirts, those with the most fighters taken to the sheds, and those free of such obligations of protecting the innocent and unaware..." Seeing the familiar adventerous glint in Rene's eyes, Yuan growled. "That will be _my_ group, just so there's no confusion about the matter let be my most spacific. Me, and Private Bryan, and _no others_, will compose of the strike force going after that point. Bryan has training in working the devices, as do I. We can marshel your efforts and warn you of most surprises from the semi-omnipresence offered by the facilities of the camera room."

Rene opened her mouth, closed it, then sulkily shifted in her chair.

Not having missed the display of barely quelled insubordination, Yuan rose an eyebrow. "Normally I would ask if there are any objections, however, in a state of true crisus I have total authority over all of you. And I'm exercising it, _right now_. Move out, hit the bararacks by the center of the base, rouse the slackards out of thier beds and sort them as needed. I leave you to form your own strike squadrins, you all know your own strengths and weaknesses better then I."

Looks of shock, amazement, and fear flickured across the faces of those assembled. Grinning, the Seraph stood, motioned for Bryan to do the same.

"The old rules are broken ladies and gentlemen, the nicities of our little democracy with it's berucratic shadings are stripped away and in this one instance might makes right. Your authority is only second to mine -all of you within this office _despite_ previous ranks- and you are all on a totally even gorund. But understand this, whatever actions you make know that when this is over I will not precide in your judgement. They will, those you save, so 'ware your actions and don't abuse your power overmuch, and have some damned persuasive arguments on hand if you have to kill someone."

Seeing the arguements housed in the minds of Feruon, Yashin, and Rene, via thier expression the Seraph spared a moment to meet their eyes.

"This is war, ladies and gentlemen, and in war people get killed. Get used to it."

The door hissed shut behind him, and the sub-commanders, now Lords and Ladies stared at each other in numb shock. The stock pile of cruxis designed weapons lay on Yuan's desk, the smaller items -daggers and the like- were scattered at the base of the desk. Forged in the hotest of fires, sheathed in white quartz, they looked like misplaced oddly shaped, giant's teeth. Pushed off by the larger, more cumbersome long swords, hand and a half bastard swords, katanas, staves, and a nasty looking ball and chain mace hybrid.

"This is f-ing crazy." Clavk gasped. "I know Z'eh, have known him for almost a two years. He won't wage war on his own..."

There was a hiss, a paniced voice raised out from the aero-comunicator Yuan had abandoned on his desk. A womans voice, paniced, someone with a sword had broken into the child's center. Another voice, form the background, ordering the children to be split by gender, lined up against the walls.

Snatching a somewhat dated long bow from the pile and swiping a quiver brimming with arrows that shed a golden radiance, Rene slung both over her shoulder.

"Vryce, let's go!"

Fumbling, the water magi snatched a knife with a bizzare elongated handle from the floor and followed hot on the fire magi's heels.

"Damn it man!" Bruen smashed his fist into the stunned Clavk's shoulder. "Wake up, arm up, move it or Gods damn you I'll kill you myself! I'll go with Mer. pacafist," the scarred soldier grunted to the newly appointed Lords and Lady of the Ranch. "Sort yerselves and damned well hurry. We don't have time top be lolly gaggin'!"

Snatching the chain and mace, the ex-mercenary limped to the door, his weapon hissing and clinking behind him as he lacked the patience to wind the chain around his elbow. The motions of widing the chain were normally assumed by a man going into a formal fight, but then, as Yuan had said, this was war. Might made right, formalities be damned, and the time needed to make a more elegant swing was unnessicary when lives were on the line.

And by the screams comming from the AVT lives were on the line, and ending.

X

The halls were silent, deathly silent. Save for the omni-present hum of magi-technology channels that made the walls vibrate like a chime. Shifting the weapon around in his hands, Vryce had to wonder why the hells he snatched the wand of pointiness. A subtle and hurried mana scan revieled the thing to posess only two minor magicks. Size alteration, and proporties and hue of a weapon that had been made to chanel light magic then had been thrust into the a stream of raw light mana. Shifting the thing around, cursing at it's unweildy heaviness, he watched as Rene fumbled with the keybord that barred the general's offices from the civilian areas. Soon, he imagines, the other comanders would be by, would shake out of thier shock and come barreling down the halls to demand why the hells the door wasn't open yet.

"Damn it, someone's altered the codes!" Rene snarled

"Key list... probably the password key list, that's what Z'eh stole. He probably had his little pages wander around the rooms changing locks. No one notices the kids if they look like they're on an errand."

Rene grunted, then kicked the door in futile rage. Smiling, Vryce pulled his glasses to the bridge of his nose and then nodded. He cooly pushed the protesting second away from the door, his green eyes glittering with amusement.

"The ultimate key, 'specially with lightning magi ruinning things." He cupped his hands, summoned some water. "Conflict mana theroy, remember?"

Rene returned the warm smile, with a grim one of her own. "By my guest. You get to cover the bill, afterwords."

"Gee... thanks."

"No charge."

X

"Yuan, why are we running to a dead end?"

"Because it's not as dead as it looks." The Seraph snapped, his cape fluttered behind him like a pair of black wings.

Having never seen the man's wings before Bryan entertained himself by wondering what they looked like and tried to ignore how his side wanted to hitch up. After having ran through the general's hall, taken the winding stair that was beyond Rene's personal office at a all out dash, then made his way through the higher-ups private storage rooms, Bryan wanted to drop. Normally he could have run that far, but with a short sword, crossbow, quarrel filled with white quartz tipped bolts, a chain mail, and steel helmet strapped to him he was having trouble keeping up.

Seeing the state of his allie, Yuan slowed his dash to a trot, pretended to look at the various steel boxes piled aroud him with avid interest. Bryan clutching his side, fell over with a very metalic clatter. Ignoring the boy's distress, Yuan went to the largest of the boxes, as long as he was tall, and perhaps half his height, lightning magic had burned the words _P. M. gells _into one side. Once the box had proclaimed itself to be _pms gells_ but after seeing one of soldiers from Vryces' Invatory walking out of the room sniggering, Yuan had investigated and had made the correction. He'd superheated one of the plates above the offensive script (or rather script that Rene would have found _very_ offensive considering the time of month) and had allowed the steel to dribble into the letters. He had smeared it out the old text with a hand and had scrawled in the correction with a spark of lightning.

After that exercise he had to explain to his annoyed Second on why one of his gloves had gone missing, he'd pled an accident with a magi-tech paper shreder, and Rene had almost yelled at him for sticking his hand in a device that used razor sharp blades to rip paper. She'd stormed out of the office, disgusted with the Seraph's lack of common sense. Yuan had only smiled at her back, keeping yet another secret amongst a million others.

"Don't bother helping me, I can lift it on my own." Yuan snapped, seeing that Bryan was trying to gamely crawl to his feet to lend a hand.

Somehow -through mishap most likely- he had earned the child's loyalty.

Kneeling, he twined his fingers around the edges of the box, then tried to lift. His Seraph strength should have made lifting the box little more than a easy feat, however physics did play some part even in a magic dominated world. He lifted, tried to press the steel box to his side to better brace it, and with his shoddy leather gloved grip only managed to to was cause it to tip in his hands. Gravity took over at that point, and he droped it on his toes. Curses, more born from habit than pain, came from his lips. He pushed on the thing's topmost edge, and managed to free his crushed toes.

"Sir, are you alright?"

"Fine." Yuan rasped, lightning flashed in his eyes as he daydreamed about incinerated steel boxes for a moment. Shaking his head, banishing the mana he'd unconsiously summoned, the Seraph found his voice. "I'm fine. I think... I'll drag it."

Having found his feet, Bryan watched in awe as Yuan inbeded his fingers into the side of the box, clenched the digits, and proceeded to drag the some-odd-ton heavy box behind him as if it were merely made of carbord. Something told the boy that once Yuan got done moving whatever he needed in this room those strong hands were going to go around the Armsmaster's throat. Setting his oversized cross bow in his hands, Bryan decided that when that part of the fight came around he was going to close his eyes and turn away.

Pulling the draw, the young soldier set the pin in place, then gingerly set the glowing bolt into place. He wasn't strong enough to get a draw in the middle of a fight, so he'd have one shot, and it would have to count. There was a click as the bolt settled, and the pearl white aura's of both weapons blurred the lines of the bolt and bow so well that Bryan couldn't tell one from the other.

"Just don't point it at your eye and pull it close for a better look." Yuan growled as he pulled both hands free of the steel box. "Knowing how contagious my bad luck is you might accidently pull the trigger."

As if to agree, the next box Yuan grasped decided to hop, pop it's top, and one of the top flaps smacked the Seraph upside the head. Bryan set the bow against the wall, walked around the box that Yuan was was vehamently cursing, and read the words written on the steel.

"Contains spring bolt winding mechanisms for crossbows." He read out loud for the Seraph's benifit. "Triggers attached and locked, handle with care..."

In thrusting his hands through the steel it seemed as if Yuan had pulled a triger and set off a chain reaction.

"That is _it_!" Yuan hissed, lightning crackled from his hands. "We can replace supllies later, and the disk was forged of polycarbonite, it can take some damned abuse..."

"Wait!" Bryan dashed past the seething Seraph, snatched his crossbow, and then dashed out of the room. Only when he ducked around a corner did he signal to his superior that it was safe to cast the spell. As he ducked in the dubious safe distance -pulling his hands over his head to ward off the stray lightning bolts that were bound to go flying- did Bryan belateldly wonder if he should have reminded his superior that the floor and boxes were made of metal.

Hearing Yuan's chant, something about fury of the fallen melding with his own, taking the path of Volt's merciless hammer, Bryan decided that Yuan was a smart comander, he'd figure it out all on his own.

X

Clavk and Bruen came upon the scene of the blasted door. Lightning mana hissed and sizzled, and reached with groaping voilet claws across the mess of water that had been dashed across the base of the door and sloshed over the keypad. Shaking thier heads in wonder at the needless destruction, the two bulky half elves shifted thier weapons -Bruen absently wound the chain of his weapon along the rod part, and Clavk tightening the grip on his hand and a half bastard sword. Rene had throughfully slammed an arrow into the wall of a branching hallway, indicating that she had taken the left fork, a slash from a lightning enhanced blade marked that -for some bizzare reason- Yuan had probably taken the southern path, past the genreal's offices to the supply chambers above.

Right it was.

"Smash your blades against the doors when we get to the main hall, wake them all up, move them out. Don't take any questions, just tell them it's an attack. We'll..."

There was a clatter of heels, the flutter of loose sandles, Bruen turned, blade in hand, and Feruon and Yashin rose thier hands to show peaceful intent.

"Tense, eh, Bruen?"

The ex-mercneary snarled, not liking the scrawny magi's cold as ice, unflapable, manner.

"We'll keep there from being questions, help you heard the others where they need to go, then when it's all set I'm going past the dungeons to the hanger to close Z'eh off from another catche of weapons. If he gets to the Reihards, we are screwed, he can just aim the mini-magi cannons at the walls and blast the place to pieces."

"_Real smart_, having a load of all powerful fire weapons in a place coated with white and aqua quartz." Clavk growled as Bruen went to the first door and pounded on it..

"Two cannons, and we're wasting time." Yashin glared up at the more militant half elves. "And don't underestimate me because I'm not strong enough to handle a sword. A Silver did, he isn't around anymore, and if I catch Z'eh before Yuan does there isn't going to be a smear of blood on the ground to show he was ever here."

Winds stirred around the magi, chill artic winds that tossled his platinum hair. Snapping a hand out, a gale of wind smashed down the hall, screamed as it caught the inperfections of the steel overlaping steel design, and all the doors of the barrack hall hybrid hissed open as surprised half elves poked thier heads out.

"I did my job, do yours. Feruon, watch over these hulking idiots so they don't screw up, I'm needed else where."


	35. HW: The Desperate

**Important: Author's note concering story rank, ecetera!**

_Dark and gory chapter (most of it implied, some of it shown) ahead. -As I offer with the borderline Mature chapters of Shards- If you don't feel comfortalbe with this sort of thing but wish to continue the story I'll offer you an outline on the key events that occur in this chapter. Agian, as I offer in all my dark turning fics, If anyone wants me to bump up the ranking for this story after reading this chapter say so in the review, I'll do so next time I come online. This is the second to last part of the Hearts War section, one more chapter dealing with the consequences, and then what remain of the Renegades are going to be dealing with Cruxis' attacks, the Desians, and there's going to be a few wind down chapters, then finally the conclusion. I suspect no more then ten more chapters before this is done -but then I could be wrong I thought this was going to be like 20 chapters and I'm on 35- I suspect that htere will only be two chapters that are even vaugly this dark, the second to last and whenever (or even if) I write out the whole first Renegade raid against the Desians. Anyway, enjoy, and know I appreciate the feed back. After I get this HW (hearts war) section done I'm going to take a break from Defiance, get a running start on a shortie that I've got running around in my head (a non-TOS fic for once) then try to wrap Defiance up... but then I've been trying to "wrap" this sucker up for like three months now, it doesn't seem to be happening very fast. OK end of rant, on to story._

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 35

HW: The Desperate…

_If the damned are real, then we truly have encountered them this day._

_Yashin Phalin't_

Snapping his head up, he turned, and abandoned the key pad he'd dissected with his knife and the wires he was re-configuring. Lifting a hand, runes of green shimmered into being around his fingers like a multitude of magic born emerald rings. Familiar words slid past his lips, he twirled his digits, linking rings to rings until he held an orb of throbbing power. With will, and some dexterity, he had summoning a miniature storm within his fist.

"Wind bomb!" He tossed the orb, it smashed into the ground, releasing it's energies in an explosion of high velocity winds. Steel panels ripped form the walls like paper, whipped around the room, and smashed into his black clad assailant. Satisfied that his foe was down he went back to the pad, gingerly handled the two more violate wires between his fingers. If he crossed them perhaps he could overload the magic charms that made the door both electrically charged runes and enhanced gravitational pull caused by the ingrained yellow quartz .

Steel against steel, long pale fingers twined around the edge of a steel plate then pushed the mass of metal off of the pinned form. Yashin shivered at the sound, looked at the bloody battered form clad in familiar black. The runes stitched on the shoulder proclaiming the wearer to be a novice technician were slashed beyond all recognition by the earlier gales power. Bloodless white hands groped amongst the plates of steel, and the black staff was pulled from the debris.

"Private Jasteen, put down your weapon."

Futile words, words he'd tried twice before. Desperation leeched the authority from his tone, desperation born after he'd thrown the first spell and accidentally sliced the sixteen year old boy's artery. He recalled, numbly, the horror he'd felt when the boy had collapsed, red gushing from his throat. Horror had turned to terror, when grinning, black eyes unnaturally wide, the young half elf had ignored the mortal wound and had pressed the attack.

As he had ignored him the first time, the Private ignored him again. Twirling his staff over his head the dead half elf stepped over mess of broken bent steel that had once been the Rhieard room. Empty eyes, black, unmarred pits of darkness lodged within the boy's skull, were not fastened on him, but on the Steel Falcons. Elevated by a mess of rods and cables, sheathed in a cage of polycarbonate, they had been Yashin pride and joy. Knowledge of the aero weapons' awful power, had forced him down here, forced him to abandon the others who would not understand. He'd come hoping to find some reinforcements as well, but had only discovered one of his aides dead, the other fishing through the fallen's pockets looking for the key to unlock the Steel Birds cage.

"What are you?" The ice eyed half elf whispered.

There was no response, only silence punctured by the hiss of staff whistling through the air as it was turned round and round. Then, there came a response in form of firm steps taken across broken ground. The once pacifist tech's charge broke Yashin out of his mental paralysis, lifting a hand he pulled a fighting knife from his belt and slammed it into the keyboard. The defense system -designed by Yuan- hissed into awful life, and the weapons Yashin had hoped to make for their salvation were now sheathed in an awful violet light. The cages pulsed with the erratic heartbeat of the violate mana that now wrapped the Steel Falcons in a deadly protective embrace.

"If you are in there, I beg your forgiveness. Total destruction, which I forbade myself from pursuing, is now a necessity."

Lifting a hand Yashin then snapped his fingers in front of him, waves of green wind shot from his palm throwing the once half elf into the nearest wall. Lips pealed back in a soundless snarl, black eyes wide in madness, the child formed demon struggled forward, even as strips of uniform and flesh were pealed back by the increasingly violent winds.

X

"Drop the sword!" Rene roared, she pointed the now fully drawn bow at the second black eyes half elf. Fuzzily she remembered him, one of the guards, one of Z'eh's favored students.

And look, what that favoritism had earned him now. Red dripped from the man's blade, red pooled from the prone forms of the half elven woman who had first called in the attack then tried to defend herself and the children from this insane attacker. Two children, Vryce was covering them, were down. One had been impaled by Rene's arrow when a black eyed half elf had tossed in the weapons path to cover her retreat, the other had been nearly disembowled by the crazed half elf pair and was staring Rene down with those alien eyes.

Words weren't working, finally forced to acknowldege Rene drew another arrow from her quiver. Getting a bead on the half elf, Rene altered her point of aim and released. The swordsman's blade went up, dripping black as readily as it driped red, the arrow should have skittered off the flat of the defending blade. With a hiss akin to acid, the arrow penetrated the sword and the black eyed one was thrown back. He stared numbly up at her, barely stirred from his prone position as she strod twords him. The dead face did not twitch even as a hand reached up and brushed against the feather that was lodged. Gold light streamed from the weapon, seemed to shine through the skin around the wound. Soundlessly the half elf toppled forward, light and steam leaking from the wound. For a long moment there was only silence. Rene broke it, ordered Vryce to get the healthy out of there, she'd stay with the wounded until he could fetch Feruon. So she sat, hands still clenched around the bow, she sat and watched. The only event of notice to occur until Feruon came from the corpse of the half elf she had killed. With the barest of sighs as the clothes rippled and then colapsed in a tangled heap.

It was as if the body within them was continuing to disolve.

X

Hell born, the walls were stained red and the voices of the damned seemed to shriek out from the intercoms that were by every door. The shrill screams of the magi-tech fire alarm deafened everyone. Half elves whimpered, clutched at thier ears. Thier screams of agony at the amplified alarms howls were lost in the claphony. Somehow, able to think around the searing pain that was coming from his brain disolving under the onslaught of noise, Bruen twirled the chain of his wepaon once. The mace's spiked ball whipped over his head, the over hand strike connected with the the nearest speaker. There was a crunch, more felt than heard in the racket. From across the room Clavk pulled his sword out from the spark spitting entrails of the speaked he'd just mayhamed.

Getting the idea, a soldier drew his crossbow and shot at the nearest speaker, the few armed guards that had been gathered from thier posts turned thier weapons upon the base built to defend them. The base ment to shelter them-they learned as lightning wards hissed into aweful life nearly fired a scout- that was now hell bent on killing them all.

Having been there to pull the scout out of harms way, Feruon yelled at him to stay there and ran back to the other comanders.

"Someone's gotten into the security mainframe and altered the systems!" She shrieked, no less and she would have not been heard over the screams of the alarms in the rooms all about them.

"You don't _think_!" Bruen bellowed, melding rage and sarcasm into his roar with a percision Yuan would have envied.

Before she could try to explain that it was more then someone turning the weapons on them, that someone had deliberatly _enhanced_ those weapons. Making the mostly harmless or painful traps into leathal ones, making the base into a litteral death trap.

She pointed, and they turned, the armed and the helpless turned to see a small group of five hovering cybits coming for them. The long nozels with thier miniturized magi tech cannons gleamed red as they sucked the fire mana from the air and would convert it into blasts hot enough to scorch steel. They had come from the cordors ahead, one of them sported an arrow in it's red slicked side.

Weapons, some blessed by Cruxis most not, were raised in a futile defense. What battle cries were uttered -like the screams of the soon to be wounded and dying- were lost in the hellish screams that came form the walls about them.

X

Lightning curled around him like a mess of excited violet pythons. Each step he took melted the steel under his feet, and the red from the walls seemed to have caught in his eyes and egnighted something demonic within. Ignoring the pools of molten steel he was making, ignoring the fact his cloak was little more than a memory, the Seraph strod forth thorugh the halls of his base as cooly as he would any other day. Save it wasn't "any other day" his outre vest had been burned away by the first trap. Pressed against his skin, it's red luminesence giving his palid hide a sun burnt look, a chain mail constructed of interlocking red quartz links had been hidden under his outre interlocking flap vest. The Seraph activated the third disk with a wave of his hand, the hand shook, whether from weariness of rage Bryan didn't have the heart to ask.

"My lord, it might be tra-"

"It is, I can read the fire runes. Go back a ways and if there's anything like there was in the black quartz room..."

Don't yell, just shoot and pull back. Hope that Yuan saw, the the trap didn't blind him like the last. He remembered the monster, a thing of sliminess and length. That time he _had_ screamed as the acid dripping maws had closed over his helm and wrenched him from side to side. Yuan hadn't heard, with the howling sirens Yuan could barely concentrate enough to activate the pads, disable the traps, and the agony of the noise was so much the Seraph had finally given up and had just let the concealed weapons _hit_ him.

Only a fool sacrifices saftey for speed, the wise can employ both at once.

As for the desperate, well... the desperate could only move and hope things came out alright.

Like he had, dropping his spent cross bow, grabing a fistfull of quartz and shoving them into the creature's hide. Ripping the helm off and tossing it as he would a weapon. The monster had winced as it's own acid dripped onto it, soundlessly screamed into the racket of the ever screaming alarms. Only the fact that the projectile had almost hit him had alerted Yuan to what was wrong, the Seraph had drawn his swallow and with a leap and slash.

Swollowing his nausea at the memory, trying to ignore the smell of the dead monster that sill clung to him, Bryan held his reloaded crossbow to his chest and shivered.

"Leave." Yuan ordered, pointing back aways.

Shaking his head -not willing to be almost killed again in the awful noisy silence- Bryan shook his head so violently the violet hued locks tickled the back of his neck.

Eyes alight with fire, form wreathed in lightning, the Seraph looked like a fiend from the pit. Still, Bryan looked up at him and had dared to defy. Noding, acknowledging the boy's courage, Yuan nodded. Almost slumping to the floor in relief, the boy leaned against a wall of the compact storage chamber. The teleport pads ahd taken them from chamber to chamber, the roundabout rote that Yuan had made them take was not of choice. The Seraph had cursed mightily when the first pad hadn't taken them to the uppermost security chamber, then had pulled up the menu for destination alteration and had cursed some more.

"We'll try them all." The Seraph growled. "He can't know about them all. One of them has to take us there. If not, we'll try to go to the second most highest level then I'll blast my way thorugh."

Reaching out, muttering a key word, the Seraph caused a small translucent blue panel to appear. As he scrolled down he smiled.

His lips moved, and Bryan thought the man said "Found it-" and certainly he was going to say more, but fire shot out form the walls alongside the Seraph. The man stood calmly in the vortex of flame, then as it diminished caught the waist of his pants as the Seraph's belt gave up and disolved.

"Rope!" The Seraph roared.

Pulling the rope he'd wound around his belt -for tying up anyone that needed tying- he was a little surprised that Yuan would so readily wind it around his midsection. Gods, it was a harsh material, it must chafe like hells, but Yuan didn't complain. Setting the inelegant belt in place, wasting only a moment to turn to see it was holding up what needed holding, the Seraph grunted and turned back to the panel.

"I'm going to kill him, slowly, very very slowly..." Yuan seemed to mutter to himself. He pressed the button and the pad hummed to life. Feeling the mana energies crackle to life, Yuan turned to Bryan, his eyes filled with questions. Picking and choosing his question of choice -"Are you coming or not?"- Bryan hopped onto the pad and checked his crossbow for the hundredth time.

He focused on the bow very very hard when he felt the earth roll away and the world seemed to spin around and around. He felt Yuan's hand wind around his shoulders, steady him, then the world was still, and silent.

And dark.

So dark that the pale pearl light from his crossbow only made it light enough to see the edge of his nose and the slowing snake of lightning around Yuan turned the shadows from black to black with touches of purple.

Greatly daring Bryan reached up, tugged the Seraph's arm.

"Where are we?"

"I don't know. Not where we're supposed to be, at least I hope."

The Seraph's strange pronouncement hung in the air, confusing the young soldier, but he didn't ask for clarification. There was a flash of golden light from behind Yuan, and eight twisting red wings shimmered into being. Thier red luminesence grugingly pushed the blackness back, so they could see a few inches ahead, but it did little else. The silence, after what felt like hours of endless noise, was broken by Yuan's whispered order.

"Eyes open, you see movement you shoot first, ask questons later."

"Yes, Sir."


	36. Judgement: A Seraph's crown

_A/N: Flashback central, the stuff in italics are scenes from the past, non-illalics is events that are occuring at the present moment. The reason why I used this format... well it will be explained in the context of the next chapter. _

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 36

Judgement: A seraph's crown

_A strange parcel that has been noted to seep holy water and is observed to have been bound by ropes imbeded with white quartz, has been sent to Derris Kharlan. It's contents are unknown, and the parcel is under Lord Vor'esse's name. If any dare to enquire of the package and its purpose in merely being stored in the Misculanious Goods Department of Welgaia, they are instructed to see him._

Computer entry found in the data base of Derris Kharlan.

X

Gritting his teeth, the Armsmaster looked around at the faces of those whom he had laid his life down to defend. He had been betrayed by them, by those whom he'd trained to defend themselves, each other. Hate seethed in his dark eyes, tinted his checks a shade of crimson, and added to the potent conflagration of his madness. Clenching his fists, the half elf let his gaze scan the crowd, and some of his hate was exchanged for fear, as his hate was met by their hate.

Pale as sleet, the Seraph's daughter stood before him. Her customary white garb exchanged for that of darkest black. Black robes hung over her form, but she forsook the Tethe'allan white cap with its raven feather accent that should have been perched on her head. Green locks were let loose, flowed behind her in an emerald wave as she slowly paced back and forth, her once spring hued eyes were lost in a glazing of icy rage.

"Gag him!" Snarled a voice from the crowd of assembled false Desian's. Rene turned then, looked from her scrutiny of the criminals before her and set her most withering glare upon the heckler.

"He has his rights."

"He's killed our children!" Roared another.

Z'eh flinched at the accusation, then growled deep in his throat.

"I don't know what the fucking hell you're all talking about but I didn't kill…"

The profane laced riposte was cut short when the nearest guard smashed him in the back with the butt of his spear.

"Enough!" Rene roared. "There will be silence for this proceeding! The charges that have been laid upon the feet of these two individuals are; calculated murder, careless murder, reckless endangerment, torture, conspiracy to destroy this new founded organization, thievery…"

As the list droned on and on, Z'eh shifted a bit. The chains that bound his hands and feet rattled as he turned. He spared a cruel grin at his fellow prisoner. Stripped of his finery, a number of black onyx tipped bows pressed against various vital points, the Seraph looked pathetic. Yuan jerked from time to time as the pain of his confinement became too much. His lips parted to let out an ocasional moan, and those once gleaming blue fire eyes were changed. Their luminesence dimmed, as the reason within that mind was pressed to breaking by pain.

Z'eh ignored the proceedings to further study his enemy. Yuan's hair had been forced out of his face -for once- by way of a tiara of sorts, a crude thing crafted of black silver that –by the smell- was enchanted with enough black mana to make the man's hair and skin smolder.

Blood dripped around the crown, dribbled into the Seraph's eyes, and one guard occasionally reached down to swipe at the crimson rain.

"Like you're helping him." Z'eh spat. "He's not in there, if you haven't failed to notice."

Ignoring him, Bryan shifted his grip on the spear he'd been ordered to plung into his Lord's back and whiped away at one of the drops that would have dripped into the Seraph's eyes.

"You know, you'd spare the world a hell of a lot of trouble if you actually did the right thing." Z'eh hissed.

Now Bryan looked up from his self appointed duty, looked at the armsmaster who had been his tormentor. His violet hued gaze grew sharp, intent, as he considered Rene's wisdom in having him watch over Yuan rather than Z'eh. She was right, he would have put his blade in the man's back, despite his promises to the contrary. Young face twisting in disgust, for both himself and the armsmaster, Bryan folded the bloody piece of fabric and slipped it into his pocket.

"If I did the _right thing_, bastard, I'd be runnning my spear in your guts."

The disgraced half elf jolted in shock at the boy's vehamence, and Bryan smiled a predator's smile.

"I've nothing to lose for killing you, so I will if I think it'll get me ahead." The boy's words weren't a threat, but a promise. "So you might want to follow the Second's advice, and remian silent. Because _they,-"_ the boy tilted his head to indicate the assembled half elves that filled the mess hall turned impomptu justace hall "-won't have a chance to gag you, I'll cut your tongue out myself."

X

_"Law can not be absolute, there are exceptions to every rule. Because this organization deals almost consistantly with the exception, with the outcaste, our writ should reflect this." _

_Those assembled around him looked at thier leader in confusion. Even the armsmaster shook off his customary hatred to be startled like the rest of them. Yuan placed both elbows upon the long table that served as the center piece for the general's meeting hall. His fingers twined together, the gesture could be seen as reverant or thoughtful. Holding no reverance for anything save the long dead past, the gesture was the later, but only a select few knew that._

_"Through my long life, I've find that human laws are... generally centered around the self. Those who have written them think that those who read them are on thier own calabre, status..."_

_"So, they're self centered?" Feruon hedged._

_"No, not completely. They are written in ignorance. Incomprehension of a state beyond the self isn't selfishness, it's only when one's view is widened but the viewer picks and chooses what they like that I'd call it selfcenteredness."_

_If nothing else the gazes of confusion had increased, and even Rene looked a bit lost._

_"Look around." Yuan waved a hand. "At this table, a small fraction of supposidly higher intellegence gathered from the dross. Our organization is based upon those whom are different. Such difference can be most readily seen in appearence. If it weren't for the slant of Mer Z'eh's eyes and ears I could readily mistake him for a human born to Ozette. Only the points of his ears reveal Clavk to have a scratch of elven blood in him. Where, Yashin, looks so elven I thought him to be a true full blood until I checked his signature. Consider our ages, I'm over a thousand, Yashin is in the middle of his hundredth year, Clavk is fourty, yet we all look to be the same age. Clavk will in all probability die before his hundredth year, Yashin will probably endure to his "full half elven potential", a millenia."_

_Clavk grunted. "You had to bring that up, didn't you?"_

_"I did not mean to insult, I was making a fact. However, if it's any comfort I know from personal experiance that longevity is more a curse than a blessing. One year is much the same as another, and without the weariness of time's passing to mark the years life can become very boring."_

_"Immortality, that's what they offered you, isn't it?"_

_"No." Yuan looked to Z'eh, surprise breaking the icy facade of control that the Seraph kept locked over his features. "Immortality was inflicted upon me. It was put upon me against my will. If our efforts were to have failed within the span of our natural lives, then I would have considered the cause a good try and let it stand. Accepted it as the course of nature, bowed to the inevitable, and in death been allowed to let go. Undead, undying, yet posessed of a supressed vitality... my current state is something like suspention. My body does not age, time does not physically effect me." The Seraph frowned. "In that, amongst all of you who must struggle with the idea that you are all wildly different from each other only I must truely contend with the fact that my life... or existance rather, is wholy unnatural."_

_"And being, an unnatural entity..." Rene nearly choked on the words 'unnatural entity'. "You don't want to write these laws, do you?"_

_The Seraph was silent for a long moment, then he lifted one hand to the warm light that shone from the magi-tech system above. "I don't understand, so many elementy things. I can preceive them, when I am close to another I can see and sympathize with the individual, but I can not comprehend the needs of the whole. I am like a foreigner, my language is not your own your language is only close enough to mine that I can grasp the general concepts of what you say. Though I see you speaking, living, comprehension forever alludes me."_

_"You speak well enough, to my hearing at least." Clavk protested._

_"That's because we are now using something we can both understand. Words. I'm not so far gone as to have forgotten the importance of comunication. Yet language is such a hollow thing because the universal comunicator, that which trancends barrirers of blood, race, status... that is forever denied me."_

_"And that would be?" Yashin quiered, tilting his head to the side, his eyes bright with inquiry._

_"Life." Yuan lowered his hand, looked upon the golden light that highlighted the edge of his gloved hand with a dull wonder. "I should have died two thousand years ago, in that hell that was Luna's Blessing. In the throes of the most painfull dying imaginable, I should have died. My heart ceased to beat, my lungs colapsed and blood seeped into my colapsing chest cavity, I was a shrivled thing. Burning in that heavenly radience, for the suns light is as fatal as the smoothering darkness. Yet, impossible is made possible by the will of the Eternal, and the holder of Eternity's Edge willed me back. Even when death would have been prefered."_

_Shivering, the half elves around Yuan cringed back in horror. Even Rene, his adopted daughter, looked disgusted._

_"Death is final, life can not be returned to the fallen. It's taken me two thousand years to accept that. This existance, is a pseduo life at best. Real yet false, an illusion of such teriffying complexity that it may pass for reality."_

_Silence hung in the chamber, thick as smoke, it seemed to smother those around him. Not needing to breath, the Seraph would have found no problems with it, save for the fact he held on to the remains of his mortality with bloody barked hands._

_"The dead can not write laws for the living, or rather, they should not." The Seraph corrected himself with a rueful smile. All knew, by the sad glint in his eyes he was considering Mithos, or perhaps Cruxis. "So I will not, save laws concerning myself. However, I will not be useless for this proceeding, I will offer my observations and extensive knowledge of the background on the laws passed during my long life. At least," the seraph chuckeld, "I can be some use. Though how much use you'll find in a walking talking library-"_

_"With an extreamly sarcastic streak?" Rene teased._

_"Ignoring that," Yuan said cooly. "As I said before, how much use you'll find in my services-"_

_"It's not **just** sarcasm, dear, it's also the potential visual pleasure compasity."_

_"What!" Yuan roared, whirling on his sub-commander, eyes blazing._

_The various lords and ladies of the ranch began to snicker, and the Seraph's somber words were bansihed for a time. Chuckles turned to howls as Feruon gave Rene a somewhat pitying look, then began to explain in detail what she ment. Yuan went crimson as the medic launched into very detailed descriptions of the various parts of his anatomy, and what parts you got to best appreciate when he paced, loomed forward in his chair, or struck whatever habital pose his mood dictated him to._

_X_

"The actions of Mer. Vor'esse are understandable. Being the primary defender of this base for a long time, it seems natural for him to assume that it is his task to defend all within it. However, his original plans to "defend" it are apparently the cause of this current tragedy. Isn't that right Mr. Vor'esse?"

Shuddering, Yuan lifed his head, glared at the man who was defending Z'eh and therefore had full rights to question his authority. He grinned, blood seemed out from the corners of his mouth, and he moved his lips as if to speak A spasm took him then, and the Seraph nearly fell out of his chair. The guard posted to him set aside his weapon and supported the Seraph until the fit had passed.

"Remove it." Rene ordered, pointing to the crown.

"That device is the only thing keeping him from..." Z'eh's defender began to protest.

"He's not hostile, and he isn't going to kill everyone here." Rene hissed. "What you're doing is tantamount to torture, would you like to be tried for torture next?" The Second snapped. "Because if that _thing_ isn't removed, instantly, I'll arange it."

"Your sentamentalism, _Ms. Vor'esse_, is showing."

Glaring at the black robed guardsman that had been nominally under Z'eh's control during the time of the attacks, Rene growled. The primal sound made an outre contrast to her elegent almost elven beauty. But then the blending of primal and elegent, was if nothing else the most physical representation of the conflict that was the core of her very being. Eyes razor sharp, Rene turned to the man preceeding over the hearing.

"Judgement Yashin, I do not request, I demand. Yuan can not be expected to testify as he strugles against the very force that is his anti-thesis."

"Sentamentalism, Judgement." Z'eh's defender growled. "Through and through. This... _girl_ is blinded by her misplaced affection."

Silence riegned, a silence that Yashin could not break by the laws of the organizations binding. Long slender fingers stroked a black stone, he set it down so that it's sharpened edge faced Z'eh's defender.

"Remove it." Rene snapped. "That is the judgement rendered."

Hearing no arguement from the gathered half elves in the back of the room Yashin nodded, and Yuan's guard reached down and wrenched the exotice torture device off. Blood smoked from the creveces, the grooves, in the twined steel and stone, it came down in a torrent down the Seraph's face, obscured his features in a rain of blood.

"Gods... forgive me for this." Rene breathed, shoving her shaking hands into the pockets of her robe.

Not feeling her remorse, the half elf who had bought all of Z'eh's lies grunted. "He'll heal."

"No." Rene said with a sick certainty, remembering the agony that Yuan had willingly inflicted upon himself so that Yashin could have the informatoin to build the horrid Seraph's binding crown. "He wont."

X

"_Yuan," Bryan yalped, "behind-!"_

_Yuan turned, lighting snapping between his fingers, his foe was strong enough to take the concentrated bolts, or rather his sword of choice was strong enough to absorb the hits. Sword guarded swordsman, and swordsman was the swords pawn. Fitting in a sick way._

_After all, Z'eh had only been meant to be a pawn. Too weak willed to make his own destiny he'd contentedly followed a man he hated for years upon years. How much the same they were, yet how different. Not even bothering to look over his shoulder -not daring truth be told- he snapped his wings in front of him. The gust of wind he summoned pushed the two combantants apart for just a second._

_Long enough for him to see movement, identify it as hostile, then throw the bolt of mana._

_She hadn't screamed, merely crumpled, and he'd charged forward, engaging the posessed swordsman once more. Three eyes, not two, peered out from him in the dark. The only identifyers in the hellish gloom woven by the Soul Eaters enchantments. Two eyes, small, yet widened in madness to near breaking. The third was a gapping portal, a scar of darkness within the dark, the pupil a pit holding a drop of hell fire._

_Teeth rasped against swallow every time the weapons met. As the sentiant sword seeked to devower the blade, it sought farther. It's most base need was to to shove it's jutting fang blade into his body and sink it's vile poison into his soul._

X

"Are you capable of speaking, Mr. Vor'esse?"

Hands, he wanted to reach up and swat them aside, he couldn't even lift hsi hand, lift his face to look upon the source of his agony. The dull trobing touch, that was pain, no pleasure... He croaked something and his tormentor released him, he fell onto the small table that had been set before him.

"I'll take that as a _no_. Since he can not speak, let me tell you what this supposid savior, this hero, of our people has done. He was one of the best, one of the greatest hero's of his time. _His time_, allow me to clarify as I imagine most of you are uneducated upon our Lord's true state. Our enemy, the Cruxis, he's one of _them_. A seraphim. One of Yggdrasil's pet lap dogs."

Murmurs of shock rose from those assembled to pass judgment, and Rene winced. Having kept his state a secret was Yuan's idea, one he'd insisted upon. Only his most trusted were to have known, and now everyone did. And now, the price of his secrecy was as it always would be.

Distrust.

Sympathetic looks were turning into those of disgust, hate. Bitting her lip, forbidden to speak, she could only wring her hands together and listen in a mix of anger and frusteration as Z'eh champion, a man gathered from one of those who backed the ex-bandit, proceeded to rip Yuan's reputation to shreds.

X

"A man..." Came a soft sigh. "Is not allowed to defend himself, what crap is that?"

Z'eh's champion shuddered at the voice, little more then a whisper, it somehow carried over the bellow of his rage. It's calm compsure rose over his rage, even as it's accompany hiss of pain sliced into the validity of his arguments.

"You are awake, then, _Lord Yuan_."

Shuddering, lifting his head, the Seraph dared not nod in fear he'd colapse. His sapphire eyes glimmered in the magi tech lights, thier customary crystaline edge dulled by pain and grief.

"I never sleep." The Seraph gasped. "Someone, so knowledgable about my 'true' state should know this. Sleep is impossible, paralization however, is not. I have only one protest to make, you deliver the truth at a slant, to best portray yourself and your client. Normally such things can be bypassed, and would have been from the outset had I been alowed a say."

"By your own writ, _Lord_ Yuan." The half elf spat the title. "All dangerous crimenals should be properly restrained."

"What the hell happened to innocent before guilty?" The Seraph grunted. "Although, I've little complaint on how Z'eh's decked out."

Eyes still dreadfully empty, he scanned the room, then saw Rene in her robes of black and sighed.

"So, Rene is my champion." He rasped, blinking as fresh blood dribbled into his eyes. "Well don't just stand there, get over here and help me stand. I must make a request of the head magi present."

"That would be you." Z'eh's defender snapped.

"I'm incapitated, more to the point..." Yuan hissed. His eyes closed to mere slits, his body spasmed, and only when the fit passed did he dare talk again. "I'm on trial, un-contaminated evidence, widened vision, eh?"

A dry rasping laugh slid past the Serpah's lips. The sound was as empty of mirth as those eyes were gutted of thier intencity. Imperiously Yuan lifted a hand, and Rene went to him. To help him stand before the Judgment, because the Seraph could not stand on his own.

X

_Thier first meeting had deteriated into a poker game held on the floor of the Seraph's office. Of course Z'eh knew how to play, and Yuan had been taught by Kratos long ago during the Kharlan war. Ignorant of the rules Rene had watched, then joined after the fifth game. Having lost it all to one bad bet, Z'eh sulked and whined, while Yuan and Rene played on._

_"Call?"_

_Yuan turned statement into inquirey by raising an aquar hued eyebrow. The subject of his question nodded, reafirmed nod by echoing his words. She smiled, set the cards before him and he cursed and threw his measily hand aside. Smirking, Rene scooted her boodle, a pile of freash made cookies, to her. She helped herself to a particular warm and gooie "counter piece" while Z'eh looked on and licked his lips._

_"I'm hungry."_

_"I've noticed." The Seraph grumbled. "I've been having to hear you and your stomach whine, and I've tired of it."_

_"Stomachs don't whine, they rumble." Rene corrected, her tone so braty it stole some of the sixteen years of her life in both men's eyes._

_Yuan sighed, told himself the revert wasn't pernament, and rubbed a temple. "Imp, I have a headache from listening to Z'eh and his stomach whine and rumble-."_

_"No, it echos." Rene's emerald eyes glinted with mirth. "When you bonk him on the head during sparring, the sound that it makes is an echo. You need to get your Z'eh sounds straight, Yuan."_

_"When, did you turn onto his side?" Z'eh whined, then reealizing what he was doing, he flushed. "You know life was a hell of a lot easier when you didn't always back him, Second." Z'eh snarled, surging to his feet._

_"Maybe if you used your head, and thought, or at least tired to think instead of following Yuan around like a lost little sheep," Rene snapped, absently taking up another "counter", "I wouldn't take his "side" all the time."_

_Amusement flashed in Yuan's normally ice shroud eyes. The Seraph watched Z'eh storm off, then turned to his newly appointed Second._

_"That wasn't handled very well." His protest was both late and weak._

_"It was handled." Rene grumbled, then bit into her cookie wih more fierocity then was wholy nessicary. "I'll get better as I get older I guess."_

_The Seraph extended a gloved hand, and Rene looked up in confusion. Understanding came, she smiled, then ofered him a cookie from her loot pile. They ate -or rather Rene ate and Yuan nibbled- in comfortable silence._

_"How's it taste?" The Second dared._

_"Like dust." The Seraph admited. "The texture, however, is pleasent enough to let me remember a taste."_

_"A taste? Not the taste?"_

_"Mmm..." The Seraph shook his head. His azura locks for once were set loose and flowed behind him like a banner. He swallowed his tiblit, then set the treat aside. "My wife was fond of brownies, not cookies, and since I was cooking to please her more than myself..."_

_"How sad." Rene sighed. "You never did much for yourself when you were.. um normal, didn't you?"_

_"Oh, I did a few things, just not with the cooking." The Seraph's eyes glittered and his lips curled into a smile. "Do you remember that spell I showed you? The blade shock trick?"_

_Rene remembered that spell, and it's effects. The unwilling recipient's hair would stand up on end starlest of violet hue snapping form the ends, harmless sparks flying from the fingers if they dared touch anything metal. It was like being shocked with static electricity for the whole day. Rene knew, because the Seraph had cast it on her once. While it hadn't been funny on the outset, she'd found a way to make it funny by days end. Poor Yuan, shocked to death by a surprise hug, or as shocked to death as a Seraph could get._

_"Oh yes." Rene grinned, and the Seraph chuckled. Proudly he placed a hand upon his vest, the pose could have been considered noble or gallent, save for the glimmer in those eternal eyes. Knowledge dawned, and Rene started to laguh. "You... you made it?"_

_"Yes, it was my pet project during the first part of the Kharlan war." The Seraph chuckled. "My primary test subject, Mer. Aurion."_

_She nearly choked on the potent mix of cookie and laugh. The Second finally was able to swallow and breath again, and when she was, she was aware that something in Yuan's eyes had changed._

_"Promise me something, Rene." He said, and while his tone was somber it wasn't enough to kill the mirth in his adopted daughter._

_"Hmm?" She reached for a glass of milk, disapointed to find it empty she was ready to push off of the carpeted floor of Yuan's office to fetch the pitcher._

_"Don't forget how to laugh."_

_"Only if you promise to learn how." Rene countered._

_"I already know how, I am mearly prudent on when I laugh. Death by cookie, it's not the way I'd want to go."_

_Rene was silent as she brought the pitcher from the table and poured herself a glass. After a moments thought she poured the rest on the unsuspecting Seraph, who yelped in shock and accideently fried cards and cookies with a instinctual lightning spell._

X

"What does he have to prove? What good can this spell..."

"It would offer the truth, unvarnished, unmodified, totally without slant. There would be no evasions, no half truths, the good and evil that complies of Yuan Vor'esse's character would be set up for judgement. And legal crap aside, this is what it's about. When a Lord of this Ranch is called to take absolute authority we must question his judgement, to fully question his judgement we must know what he is made of. I would suspect that the painless nature of the spell is what raises the protest from you, Mer Collens."

Z'eh's defender hissed, his purple eyes glinted with hate.

"He deserves..."

"Torture, without proven cause?" Rene snarled, shifting her grip on the dazed Seraph so he wouldn't fall. "By whose authority, yours? If you agree to that you make Cruxis' mistake, and the sole purpose of this orginization is to remedy the damages made by Cru-"

"It is law. A law that the half elves of this organization signed into being. I had no hand in it's shaping, in most of the laws that you've made I've little influence. The only thing I've demanded is to put in the requirement that our writ be overlooked every time a catastrophy strikes or there is someone who uses a loophole in the letter of the law to evade justice." Yuan croaked. Each step to the Judgement's chair had been a trial. He'd made a path in blood, and his face was distorted both by present and remembered agony. "And I assure you, Sire of Bryan Collens, there wil be pain on my behalf, lots of it. Does that satisfy you? Does that satisfy the people present?"

Bloodless looking hands carressed the black stone. Then with a soft click, it was set in place, and Rene smiled.

"Judgement has been rendered, and this court is ajourned until the proper materials for the spell have been either gathered or made." Yashin said, he stood, his robes of white rustled aobut him. "Yuan and Z'eh will be placed in confinment until that has come to pass, in seperate cells, far far away from each other... I take it that the blade has been properly, dispatched?"

"Unable to destroy it at the peak of my power I have placed it in storage in a place where it may sway no one. The matter has been handled." Yuan whispered, his icy eyes burning. "And neither my life or death will effect the fact that the _weapon_ has been put aside for safe keeping in a place far away form mortal ears to hear it's siren call."

"Good." Yashin stood, snapped his fingers, and both Yuan and Z'eh were gathered up by thier proper guards. "As acting Lord, these are my commands, what has been said will be dwelt upon, both parties, wheather guilty or innocent, are dangerous." Ignoring Rene's cry of protest the half elf continued. "They will be treated as such until matters are settled one way or another." A spasm of guilt crossed the half elf's face, a moment's softening and hesitation settled into the man's icy voice. "The crown... _must_ be replaced. I'm sorry, my hands are tied."

Yuan nodded.

"I bow to the judgment, rendered. I will not protest, nor seek compensation against he who has called this Judgment. Let the agonies set upon me for the saftey of this organization be blameless."

Shaken, Yashin swollowed, the inhuman facade of Judgment slid from his features like an ill kept mask. Reveiling, for all to see, the morass of guilt and shame undernieth. "I do not ask forgiveness, nor can I accept it... until I have forgiven myself."

"A wise woman once told me; _'accept or not, that is your choice, it is however wholy my chocie upon what I give_.'" Yuan knelt, and the second he did so his hands were bound. One of his guards griped the bloody crown, and the Seraph tilted his head back so that crimson wound where it had rested was highlighted in the colorless light of the magi-tech illumination system above them. Red blood gleamed more brightly, the black of the burned skin and muscle seemed somehow darker in the light that was not true light.

Then blood and burns were gone, overlapped by black silver and onix. The Seraph's crown, tinted red, ran red, and the horrible burning that was not true burning was upon him again.

With an animal sream of pain, Yuan toppled forward, his eyes rolled back, his face twisted into agony.

The crown of Cruxis' bane once again rested upon his brow, and it's power, it's burdne, were his to bare alone once again.


	37. Judgement: Tide of Memory

A/N: Sorry about the last chapter's grammar and stuff. The comp I had to use is severely limited and I was very sick. I will edit it when I can. Anyways, flashback central, ninty nine percent of this chapter is flashback, sorry, it's just how it is... Wrote this to "Dearly Beloved" and "Sancturay" from the KH2 soundtrack. Somehow the somber sad beat really fits Yuan and his childhood. Yep, you read that right, Yuan's childhood, a lot about Yuan is revieled, as promised in the previous chapter.

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 37

Judgment: A Tide of Memory

_"I'm lord of nothing... don't make a mockery of the disgraced." Yuan Vor'esse._

The room, merely cramped the day before, was now jammed. The distinction for the words if one had bothered to look them up, was a subtle one. Both related to states of overpopulation in an area lacking space. The only differential factor between them was the degree. It was a subtle measure, more felt in the force of language's most basic component, the word.

Reality, unlike language, was a thing felt and seen. It was uncomfortable, disquieting, and the stark difference between cramped, which had been the common term to describe the conditions in the mess hall had changed to jammed. The members of the shattered anti-Cruxis organization now stood shoulder to shoulder –much to the discomfort of those nearest to the thrashing and bound Armsmaster and his restraining guards- judge and jury and defenders and armed watch dogs, made a tangled knot at the fore front of the proceedings, and the jury and citizens of the Ranch were a larger more incoherent mass in the back. Ceremonial spaces, places, and spans were abolished, in their place stood a mess of mirrors that only reflected one figure.

Despite being stripped of his vestments of office he sat stiff, his eyes now clear of pain. He was a regal figure, his crown of black stone and steel left at his feet, the only apparent hint of his fallen status was the guardsman who had an black onyx tipped weapon pointed at his back.

And his crown -seeped in red, rimmed in black- it lay at his feet, split in twain at the Judgments' order…

Shards of white quartz lay at the foot of each span of polished mirror, the meager light allowed from the slit like windows of the mess hall caught the quartz. The quartz began to glow, with all colors that could be seen by human, half elven, and the more pure elven blood. It painted the man in the mirror a million different hues, etched the runes within the steel mirrors with brilliant surreal halos.

To those present, the colors bled beyond vision, and the runes stole vision, creating a yawning blackness that consumed, isolated. Voices cried out, a dreadful colophony that echoed in perceived emptiness.

Slowly, surreally, light stirred about them. It was a living entity that etched the world about them in familiar hues. Hues became shapes, shapes identifiable things, and they could see. Yet the vision was not their own, the time, the place, none present could remember. Save one.

X

_"What is it?"_

_Warm hands, cold tones, the story of his life. Still, at the touch his eyes fluttered open. Instinct, aching for the warmth and awareness that he knew could exist in living, yet had rarely felt for himself._

_"Awake, alive." The guardsman grunted, stepped back and kicked the prone blue haired child. "Damn shame. Those boots, they'd be a good fit for my kid."_

_"You wanna put your kid's feet in shoes worn by **that**."_

_"You could always wash 'em. Animal hide aint easy to find, not with the Tethe'allan dogs slaughtering everything. Even the damned squirrels in the damn trees."_

_There was a grunt of agreement, and the boy didn't lift his head. He only numbly rubbed his side and looked at the snow covered roadside that had been his bed. The snow never broke, it died before it broke. He was jealous, for it being stronger than he was, than he could ever be. Even now, tears filled his eyes, and he cried, and sniveled, and hurt._

_He hated hurting, wished it would all just go away._

_"Take them."_

_They jolted at his words, startled._

_"I don't want them." Yuan sniffled, looking up at the guards with smarting eyes. "And if you don't some winno would just knife me for them. I… was going to throw them away anyways."_

_They looked at him, startled, not believing. Frustration filled his soul, made his face twist with newly budding hate. He reached down and with shaking hands pealed off the leather boots. He threw them at the two humans, whishing he was like his father, strong enought to hurt them, wishing he was like his mother, strong enough a spell caster to blast them away. But he wasn't either of his parents, just a weak half elf. Turning, he bolted, ran away from them on bloody aching feet, the smell of soot still filled his nostrils, the smell of the weeks old fire._

_X_

_Shaking, the cold was unbearable, he crouched, held himself to stave off the numbing death that he'd felt coming for him but hadn't claimed him just yet. He wished it would, that it would just hurry up and finsih what it had started. But no one listened to half elves, not even the angels. He shifted his tunic, a sad set of rags that he'd stollen from some woman's laundry line the summer previous. It was still rumpled, unclean, much like he was._

_But then that's how the world wanted it, he wasn't going to fight the world to prove otherwise. You just took the hits and got up for more, and when you couldn't take it, you died. That was his life, pure and simple._

_A life going to get more complicated._

_Padding out from the street, his practiced eyes seeing a hundred placed to hide from authorities, the boy slipped behind the first human he saw. He never bothered the half elves, they'd know what he was in a trice and he'd get caught and killed, but the humans. Well he could fake an elfiness if he needed to and he hadn't been caught yet._

_And that's all that mattered, living and taking in as much as you could, even if all there was to take in was pain._

_He barely noticed the human's eyes flick onto him, then away. Was only vaugly aware of the goldne blonde hair, he was focused on his goal. The pouch, the way it bulged there must be tons of Gald within! His eyes watched it's swaying, absently mimed it's swaying. His hands shook with longing. Quick as a snake, he reached out, snatched the pouch and ripped it free. He turned to bolt, but all at once the human spun on his heal and grabbed his shoulder. Yuan's mouth sagged open in shock as the human whirled, caught his wrist, and pulled his back. The pouch fell between them, forgotten. Scared by the mane like hair, and wild flashing blue eyes, he yalped, and tried to wrench his arm free._

_No luck, he cursed his half blood and wrenched his arm so voiolently it began to hurt. There was a cry, a guardsman was coming forward. Pale with terror, Yuan moaned, and at that sound the anger in the human's eyes softened._

_"Play along," the man hissed. "Do you understand?"_

_He wanted to nod, but didn't dare. The guardsman was there now, would hear and see everything the way guardsmen did. And he'd punish too. Guardsmen loved to punish._

_"Is there a problem here, Mer?"_

_"No sir." Eyes wide, innocent, the man smiled an almost boy like smile. "None at all."_

_Scornful eyes fell onto him, and the blue eyed human sighed._

_"He's an aide, my Father's orders." The human grimaced. "I was merely punishing him for being a fool and droping the pouch. Boy, pick it up."_

_Eyes wide, shocked that a human had just lied for him, Yuan couldn't seem to remember how to pick anything up._

_"Si... sir?" Yuan squeaked._

_"The pouch, you dunce, pick it up. And bring some supper to our estate when you've gathered your wits together." The man's voice was cold, regal, and Yaun could have believed the human was a Lord of some type. The man waited, and at last when Yuan could pick up the pouch he nodded._

_"Do you remember your orders, or do I have to draw you a map?"_

_"N... no... Bring back dinner, right?"_

_"Excelent, there is something besides fluff between those ears. Well, move along."_

_Numb, eyes still glazed from shock. Yuan woodenly padded off, more money then he could count on his hands now rested in his hands._

_"You sure you can trust him, my lord?"_

_"He's trustworthy." Yuan heard the human grunt. "And when he isn't being a fool he's useful."_

_"Hunh, never found a use for them, my Lord, but do as you will." The guardsman was leaving now. He brushed past Yuan, uncaring, but others might care. Other beggers and thieves would see Yuan's luck and take it from him if they could. Clenching his hands around the money, he wondered what he should do with it all, then an idea came to him and he nodded to himself._

_He wasn't quite sure what trustworthy meant, but maybe he could give a shot at being it..._

_X_

_"Well love, I'm sorry but it had to be done."_

_"Yggdrasil..." A woman's voice sighed. "While that certianly was the nice thing to do..."_

_Creeping away form the open window, he nodded. This was the house. He was sure of it. He recognized the man's voice. Satisfied he picked up the chicken from it's place on the slushy ground and trudged to the door. Dead bird in one hand, it's cool blood smeared all along his bare white arm, the other hand fisted around the money pouch, Yuan was at a quandry. He couldn't knock on the door! Not with the chicken and not with the money. Finally he settled on a compromise._

_He yelled, and when the man came to answer the look of shock on those human features made Yuan smile. That smile took years from his features, and the hard brital ice from his eyes._

_"Your dinner, my lord?"_

_X_

_"Daddy!" Squeaking, happy, the green haired chld threw herself across the room and pounced on the blonde haired human's legs. Chuckling, the green haired woman pried the spring shoot geen haired girl from her "daddy's" legs. The woman Yuan had heard ealier padded out of the kitchen and handed the girl to the man named Yggdrasil. She rolled her eyes good naturedly as they embraced, pulling her hair back to reveal a pointed ear._

_"Really... humans, you're all so overly affectionatte."_

_The human ignored that, and smiled at the girl. "Hello, Martel. Miss me, hunny?"_

_Yuna stared dumbly at the human man and the woman elf. Didn't they know that.. that if they got married and had kids that thier kids would be..._

_Half elves... any children they had would be half elves. Like Martel, as she looked down at him and asked who he was, he knew... She was a half elf, just like him._

_A tainted, evil, half elf... Just like him._

_Yggdrasil smiled, was mumbling some explaination, yet Yuan didn't hear a word. Suddenly the girl was set down, and she walked towards him. Not small enough to toddle, not old enough to have her mothers alien grace or aquire her father's sure steady step, she hovered between the three options as she hovered between the worlds of elf and human. She offered a hand and he looked at it, not understanding._

_"Hi, I'm Martel!" She chirped, still smiling. When his silence dragged on, she forwned, just a tiny bit. "Oh, I'm sorry... I forgot the second part. What's your name?"_

_"Ahh I'm Yuan?"_

_"Yuan?" She mimned the squeak he'd put into his name. "All high pitched like that? Yu-ahhn? Are you part squirel? Daddy says Mommy's part squirel sometimes, that all elves are. Because they like to live in trees and like to hoarde sticks and leaves and..."_

_"I'm not a squirrel!" Yuan yelled. "I'm a half elf, like you!"_

_"Children." The green haired woman sighed, then she stepped forward, gracefully seperating them. With a grace that amde him dizzy she planted a kiss on his forehead and took the chicken from his suddenly limp hand. "Thank you for bringing dinner, Yuan, that was very sweet. You can give Chaich the extra gald. And Dear, for that squirrel comment, you are getting the extra burnt peice."_

_"Now Phaith..." The man squeaked. "Aren't you being a little harsh, it was just a jo-"_

_The woman's green eyes turned to slits, and the human gulped._

_"Whatever you say, Dear."_

_X_

_Laying down in fron to the hearth, wrapped in a blanket, Yuan listened to them talk at night. He had listened to them talk so many nights now, so many sleepless nights. He tossed and turned, the strange burning in his gut and hands was so bad he sweated and shook like he had a fevor. Clenching his fists to hide the tell tale violet sparks he curled around the burning hissing bits that sometimes snapped from his fingers._

_It hurt, and to his shame he whimpered from the pain._

_"Yuan." Martel's mother was there, hearing him. "What's wrong?"_

_She was there, stroking his back. When had he curled into a ball? He didn't remember, and he shook for not remembering. Hands clasped over his, pulled his hands in front of him. She gasped, the elf's face tainted with unnatural hues in the purple light, as was his. He was faintly aware of the scrape of a chair, of someone else in the room coming to them._

_"My Gods..." The human whispered._

_"Make it stop, please.." He sobbed. "It.. hurts..."_

_She held him, then. Cradled him to her breast and he cried, his ears burning, his hands hissing with the hellish purple light. Unafraid, unlike everyone else, unlike the human, the elf held him._

_X_

_"It's natural, for a half elf that is." She grimaced, thinking that he slept she had rested his head in her lap. "As natural as anything can be for them. Unfortunatly it's part of growing up."_

_"I'm at a loss love, you know I've never understood magic."_

_Martel's mother chuckled, the hand that had been stroking his head left him for a bit, perhaps to caress the human's cheek. Not daring to open his eyes, he lay, and listened. Enjoying the scent of human and elf, the warmth of the fire against his cold skin._

_"Well, you aren't perfect."_

_"Unlike Mer. Rechinali, your proper husband?"_

_Martel's mother laughed, and only Yuan's long hard earned self control kept his face from scrunching up in confusion._

_"Mer. Retch, you mean?" The woman said as her warm laughter disolved into a few humored chuckles. "Yes... well that's in the past. And I wasn't that fond of Hiemdal that I've spent more than a moments time grieving over our exile. Better freedom than that stagnant sanctuary, and what's life without love? Still... this one you've picked up has got a very rough path ahead."_

_"And you haven't explained a thing."_

_"You're a distraction, very hard to explain anything with you about."_

_"Well **excuse** me. I could just leave if you'd like..."_

_"You, will do no such thing!" The woman flared. "Now you get over here right now, mister, and sit!"_

_"...Arf..."_

_There was the light sound of flesh striking flesh. His ear twitched at the familar sound and the woman chuckled, stroked it playfully._

_"Just like Martel..."_

_"Hmmm?"_

_"I'll explain it later, when our master actor is tucked into a real bed."_

_He supressed the urge to twitch, or grimace, steadfastly he held to his guise of sleep._

_"I don't understand."_

_"Later love... the river won't flow upstream, no matter how he wills it..."_

_"Typical crytic elven I see." The human grumbled._

_The elf laughed, then sobered, pulling the hair away from Yuan's face with a suddenly cool hand. "Imagine a door, a door with all your potential on the other side. Potential isn't a still thng, it moves and throws itself against the door. Life, experience, and experimentation allow you to open the door, a tiny bit, and a little potential slitheres out. Yet, still you can hear it, thrashing, smashing against the door, wanting out. It's like that with magic, we... hear things, parts of nature. But we're equiped with the right type of ears. We can hear it and understand what's happening to us. Humans are both deaf and blind to what we hear."_

_"So, half elves?"_

_"Some can hear, some can't, and some have more than hearing. They taste and feel, are a hundred more times attuned to the world, because they can see it from both the human perspective, and the elven perspective... Simutantiously. What makes it worse is stress. A hagard, worried elf might find his tallent building withing him at an unseemly rate. He might cast spell when startled, angry... But if that happened to a half elf... a half elf who doesn't just hear but is so tied into an element that you can't tell where the magic begins and the person ends..."_

_"Rough... might be an understantment then?"_

_"Very much so." Martel's mother sighed. "Someone's wrenched the door open, and it's all he can do to keep from drowning."_

_X_

_"You mean, this is going to keep happening?" Martel's father howled, pointing to the dishes that Yuan had accidently fried when he'd had yet another fit while cleaning. It had to have been the fifth one this week, and the Yggdrasil's were fast running out of dishes, carpet, and non-scorched walls._

_"I think we should definatly move out, soon. If he has these fits while in town he could hurt people, but if he's outside..."_

_"Not until winter's over, I'm not risking your health, or the health of our son to..."_

_"It's been rainy these last few days, hasn't it?" Martel's mother noted, her tone bland, her emerald eyes glinting. From his place in the hall Yuan shivered, and wished the squirming warmth in his blood would just go away. "Very... stormy, it's strange for winter in Malli-tokyio, isn't it?"_

_"You don't think..." Martel's father gasped. "No, he's just a child, even adult magi can't just... screw with the weather!"_

_Martel's mother sighed, wound her arm around her human lover's waist and sighed. Looking at the mess Yuan had just made._

_"He might, if he can he's definatly going to be one of the most powerful magi this world's seen in a melenia. Still, we daren't take the chan-"_

_As they had talked, Yuan had slowly back peddled for the door. Horror shining in his sapphire eyes. With shaking hands he reached for the handle, the door was open, and he slipped out. Not bothering to hear, having heard enough. He ran, shoving his way past a guardsman that tried to stop him in the middle of the street. His feet found the familiar paths he had walked a mere two weeks ago, the hidden paths in the allys and filth, he knew them well. He'd use them, to disappear._

_X_

_Martel found him, he didn't even lift his head when he heard her approuch, merely pulled the hair out of his eyes and sighed. He'd have to steal anouther knife and cut his hair again, it was getting way too long._

_"Yuan?"_

_He didn't turn, hugged the thick fuzzy cloak that had been made from the ruined remains of one of Mr. Yggdrasil's capes. He wanted to banish the cold, butt he warm inside him was making it both hot and cold. The slithering warmth was making him sweat, and the sweat was feezing to his skin, making him even more miserable. He shuddered, stared at the slums before him. Once he had loved this place. This high place he'd spent many nights, hot and cold, comforting himself that he was better then the rest of the street trash if for no better reason he could see them and they couldn't see him on the ruined roof he'd staked out as his own. A warm hand closed over his shoulder, he shivered at the touch, and she yalped, jerked back._

_"I'm sorry Marel, but I think you should just go home and leave me alone." Yuan whispered, feeling the storm under his skin run through the red courdors of his viens. "I... keep hurting people. I don't want to, but that's all I do."_

_He could smell scorched leather, scorched fur, but didn't turn. Not even when Martel whimpered._

_"Please, just..." Tears cloged his throat, he shuddered. "Leave me alone. It's safer. You won't have to die like everyone else did."_

_"No."_

_Now he turned, and though tears stood in her young eyes and untried face. She met his gaze. then lsowly, walked towards him, he wanted to hop to his feet, to run, but there was rusty bits of frame poking out nearby. If he moved the horrible power would leap through him, to it, it would shock them both. He didn't dare. Moaning, he closed his eyes, tried to pull the horrible power inside, but it crackled along his hands._

_Ignoring that, ignoring the fact he was a monster, Martel embraced him. Held him. He shuddered, then cried out in agony as lighting seeped from his fingers and blasted the ground at thier feet._

_X_

_"His name's Mithos." The girl noted, pointing out her little brother like he was important or something. Rolling his eyes, Yuan rubbed his gloved hands together, pleased that the tingling in his gut and heart wasn't bad today. Maybe he'd have a normal day, like everyone else! Staring at the bundle in white, those large bubious eyes and whisps of golden curl of the half elf all but thrust into his face, Yuan grimaced._

_Normal, there wasn't such a thing as normal when you traveled with the Yggdrasil's._

_"He's awful small."_

_"Babies always are." Martel told him, matter of factly, cuddling her brother to her chest._

_Ignoring Martel and her anoying bratty brother, Yuan watched the older Yggdrasil's on the other side of the clearing. He frowned, wondering over the strange smelling tea that husband was making for wife, and what 'wasting disease' meant._

_It couldn't be a good thing, that was for sure._

_"Daddy's just making medicine for Mommy." Martel told him, wondering perhaps, what he found so interesting about that. Daddy always made medicine for Mommy when it got cold out. There was nothing new to her, it was how it always was._

_But Yuan, a little more worldly than Martel, knew that that's not how it was for everyone else. So he worried, but kept his worry to himself._

_X_

_"So, she's dead." Yuan said, hating the numb cold of his tone. He'd been expecting it, and he held Martel, even as Martel's father held the howling Mithos._

_"It happens, when the elves left Welgaia, they exposed themselves to the evils of our world. Disease, is the most dangerous for them. In... Heimdall, they say that they keep a shard of Welgaia, to keep the disease at bay, but..." The human's voice broke, and Yuan nodded. Not understanding, he'd just accept._

_"She left, because of me."_

_Faintly remembering, faintly understanding, Yuan shook his head._

_"She'd have left anyways."_

_The human looked at him, his red rimmed eyes wide in shock._

_"If I lived forever, I'd want to see everything, the good and the bad." Yuan told the human. "And, what little I know of her... She'd have wanted the same thing too."_

_"Only eleven years to life and too wise."_

_Jerking at the human's sad tone, Yuan looked at the rock instead. The unmarked, featureless rock that served to cover a grave. Better that then to see the pity, the grief, to have to feel these things._

_Not feeling, it kept the storms at bay, and he had to do his best not to feel, not now anyways, not until they were safe._

_But as he closed his eyes and held the sobbing Martel he knew, when the feeling came, it would come with the fury of a hundred stroms. He could taste them, feel them, building in the back of his soul._

_X_

_It rained for a week, a whole seven days, without end, without break, the lightning demolished the tallest eldest trees, and the people of the village Sylune never had the sense to ask themselves what was the cause. They endured the howling winds, and jagged lightening without complaint, for strange weather was fast to fade. Natural power of any sort would soon deminish, consumed by the warr that was so distant yet so near. Sick, nearly dying, Yuan had becoem something of a ghost resident of the town. having taken a shed on the town's outskirts of his own, he avoided the humans during the day. Only coming up to those who he sensed had need and did jobs for them in exchange for food, tools, or clothing._

_It was little wonder that they hated and feared him, not understanding his strange ways and even stranger moods. He'd ignored the continued offers of the Yggdrasils to move in with them, though he did visit them from time to time. His guise of being busy and craving solitude served to hide the real reason he avoided those around him._

_The storms in his soul had yet to abait, and it would be a long three years before they did so enough that he could endure the touch of another, the presence of a friend. So he remained in solitude, filling his endless empty hours with tasks to drive away the hellish silence._

_X_

_Holding the broken blade in one hand, he offered his sizziling free hand to those he protected. Shaking, the blonde haired boy ignored the hints of lightning and grasped the older half elf's hand. Martel's hand closed over her brother's, and Yuan grinned wearily at them. Nearby a horse plowed into it's nearest kin in order to get away, it's rider dead at it's feet. The still living bandit's hand sawed at thie riegns of his beast, and Yuan charged, past the dead, the living, wadded thorugh the massacure that seemed nessicary when capturing a whole town by the blade. He was indifferent to the horror in Martel's eyes, the terror in Mithos', indifferent to the dead man he had to step over to lead them away. _

_The power had come at his call, at last. No longer did it control him, rather he and it were melded together. It was both a blaphsomy and devine, and it's mark... Armor, flesh, they were a melted mixed mass that only occasionally spasmed were all it had left behind. If he'd had more time, and the inclination, not even that would have lingered. Only ashes, and perhaps not even that much would he have left behind..._

_Extascy and horror, terror and passion, power... All this was his, his legacy. and he would use it all to keep them safe, his two friends, for they were all he had left in a world that hated him for the very blood that pounded through his viens._

_X_

_"Human..." He spat, tossing the soaked auburn haired man to the snow._

_The human in question groaned, and looked at him with black brown eyes._

_"Ewww!" Cringing away, Mithos stared at the hated human with wide eyes. "He's bleeding red, Yuan!"_

_Raising an eyebrow at the child's ignorance Yuan snorted. "All things bleed red, Mithos."_

_"Oh."_

_"Ung, you're both being savages! Don't just stand there, help him!"_

_Frowning, Yuan looked up from the dying human's form. He stared at the girl who would later become his beloved._

_"Why?"_

_X_

_"Mercy, is an art. As surely as is swords play or magic." Martel grumbled. "and it's one all three of you thick headed idiots need to pick up!"_

_"Are we being saved, or scolded?" Kratos grumbled at the green haired half elf who was dangling the keys of thier cell right out of his reach. The tattered remains of red uniform hung about his frame, a testiment to the past glories of the once nobel mercenary band he'd traveled with, fitting, as the man had sunk to brigand hood after his company had been slaughtered some months past._

_"Just smile an nod, it's what I do." Mithos advised the human with a grin._

_Despite the chill of the winter air, and Martel's ill humor -which was doing much to warm the later- Yuan chuckled._

_"You shouldn't have said that, now we're going to be here for an hour."_

_Sputtering, the green haired woman seemed to swell with rage. Mithos cringed back in terror, Kratos rose an eyebrow and fingered the hilt of his stolen sword._

_Yuan, well he'd weathered worse storms than this. He'd made worse storms. So he lay on his side of the cold steel and smiled and nodded while Martel lost her cool and yelled. Slanted eyes glittering with amusement, the ice blooded half elf enjoyed the free show, for Martel's rage, much like Martel's mercy, was a very pleasent thing to watch._

_Hell, watching Martel was a pleasure all around. And one that he indulged in every chance he got. As Martel whirled on Mithos, and gave her the first of a three part tounge lashing Kratos flicked an eye onto the younger half elf._

_"A suggestion." Kratos murmured, having watched the young half elf from the corner of his eye he recognized the play of thought and lust that were teasing Yuan's mind. Having wooed enough women in his life to recognize the game Yuan was playing, the human understood his blue haired companions thoughts very well. "Tongue in mouth, Mer. Yuan."_

_"I wasn't drooling." He hissed._

_"Yes, you were. And if you hurt that girl I'll cut your head off, with a dull knife."_

_Yuan snorted, such a thing was impossible. But when seeing the anger in Kratos' eyes Yuan grew just a touch worried. Maybe such a thing **was** possible. If it was, it certainly would be messy... And why would the man care, he didn't like Martel, did he?_

_Kratos, who had up to that point only been a annoyance and competent hunter in the half elf's mind was elivated to a more dangerous place in the half elf's subconcious heirarchy._

_Competition._

_X_

_Thier war within the Kharlan war was vicious. First starting in the most obvious place. Combat. _

_Small disagreements would flare into bitter fist fights. Insults were as common as currenct in a nobleman's house. In true combat they adamently refused to cover the other's backs, both were wounded in cases of not so accidental 'firendly fire'__. Had they access to real weapons, if they'd had a time away from real danger, they'd have killed each other._

_Yet they never were safe, never secure, and so their war never ended the way it should have. It slowly was abandoned, as time and spying proved to the parinoid half elf that Kratos had no interest in Martel. He was polite, chillingly so, but it never went further than that. Somehow, sometime, between one fight and another, it was wholy abandoned. Need and true fear bound them together, till one day they were guarding each other's backs, a platoon of Tethe'allan inquisitors (fancy terms for half elf murders) had taken Mithos and Martel hostage and Yuan and Kratos had to get them free._

_"You idiot!" Yuan roared, dropping his swallow he summoned a bolt of mana and killed the archer in a blazing roar of sky fire._

_Dazzed, unbelieving, Kratos reched up with numb hands to touch the arrow that had somehow lodged into his sword arm. The blade slipped from his fingers, pain glazed those night hued eyes._

_"Had to, he'd of got you in the back..."_

_"And my back's for your blade, eh?" Yuan softened the tone, it was safe to do so. That archer had been the last of them._

_"Heh..." Kratos smiled. "'course."_

_Of course... yet the words, the threat, were hollow. As were the curses that Yuan had yelled at the human during the fight. The mocking offers that Kratos join his own, that he abandon the half elves on thier crazy journey to save the world and join the murders._

_They'd have taken him, Yuan knew that. The humans would see Kratos as one of thier own. He winced, both in sympathy and sickness, understanding and fear, as Kratos pulled the arrow out of his arm then merely switched his sword from one hand to the other._

_"Hopefully your wife can fix this." Kratos grunted._

_"She can." Yuan promised, ever since she got that unicorn horn from Duke Fal- whatever his name was... er is?"_

_"Is, he got the assassins, he's still kicking. Old warriors like that, they don't go down quietly."_

_"Like certian hot headed warriors present?"_

_"Be very very happy I'm feeling lightheaded." Kratos hissed. "That I'm suffering from wounds and sleep deprivation, and a migraine, or I'd kill you."_

_Smirking, Yuan decided that he could do it, just once. He grinned, at the somber human, and laughed. "Suuure Kratos."_

_"And stop sounding like that damnded brat." The mercenary snarled._

_"We have a saying." Yuan told the human, steping forward he slung an arm under the man's shoulder. Suppoting the sagging human who was a hell of a lot heavier than he looked. "Dragging out words like that, we call it pulling a Mithos."_

_"Then refrain from doing so, in the future." Kratos hissed._

_"Whatever you say." Yuan chuckled. "Just don't take too many arrows for me. Martel will fix you up, but she's going to give you hell for throwing yourself in the way of an arrow."_

_"Considering..." Kratos gasped, his eyes closing to mere slits of pain. "That I was covering you... My punishment should be light."_

_Before Yuan could wonder at what **his** punishment was going to be -for not guarding his back well enough so that Kratos felt the need to throw himself in the way of the arrow- the human chuckled._

_"It... would of... got you in the back.. of the head. Little damage I... suppose..."_

_"If you weren't hurt, I'd shock you for that." Yuan snapped, jarring the auburn haired man a bit, he picked up the pace. If Kratos was sluring his words and gasping them as if they were an efffort, then the half elf knew things were bad. Kratos would rather die than appear weak, and he was all but showing off his weakness for the world to see._

_Hopefully they'd get Martel free before the human died, because though his love was powerful, she was't strong enough to bring the dead to life. No one was._

X

_"Maverick, you bastard!" Unsheathing his blade Kratos strode forward. Glaring bloody daggers at the man who'd trainted him, then betrayed them all. The guards were upon him in a flash. He was unarmed and sennt to his knees by a well placed blow to the kidneys in an eyeblink._

_"My Lord," Maverick bowed to the King of Tethe'alla, his face split into a grin. He nudged the dazed Mithos forward, so that the boy sprawled at the king's slippered feet. "I present you with the last summoner, street trash born of Sylvarant, a perfect weapon for our war. With little effort we may retrain him to our purposes."_

_Nodding, the aged King smiled. "Your thought is well, Mav, but what of the others?"_

_"Execution, my leige?"_

_"Excelent thiking, cold blooded, and thurough, you will make a good King after my passing."_

_They jerked in shock, and Mav grinned at them. His black eyes triumphant. So that's where the man had gotton his money, how he'd gotten them out of the Tethe'allan prison with little difficulty, in these halls he'd become so well trained. He'd been the Kings son. Rough hands clasped over his bound wrists. From the other side of the chamber Martel cried out in pain at her rough handeling and was back handed by one of the Knights for her cries._

_"Halt," The king tilted his crown, looked at Kratos with interest in his ancient black eyes. "I know this one... he seems familiar."_

_"He is Kratos, son of Kanion."_

_"His father's son?"_

_"A blood thirsty fighter, decent rival... but little more than that."_

_The king stood, strode past Mithos, past Maverick, his eyes intent on the fallen mercenary's. The old man knelt so that his own eyes were level with the mercenary's. Long fingers fondled the young man's face, then ruffled his hair._

_"Kanion, was a distant relative of mine. A lord who cast his lot and fortune upon the battle field. How did his gamble fare?"_

_"As all warrior's fare, ancient one." Kratos hissed. "A shallow grave, glories upon his ears, and his son's blade within his heart."_

_The old man shuddered, his face pale, his hands shaking, he took a step back from the bloody faced mercenary._

_"He killed my mother, he made me watch. So crazed with pain and hate he didn't even feel my knife hit home. He died, as he deserved to die, his carrion cast to the earth to be little more than feed for the low scavengers of the world."_

_Face twisting into a snarl, the aged king of Tethe'alla raised his hand and struck the mercenary._

_"Get this filth, out of here. All of it. Know this, Kanion's ward, in the pathetic land of Sylvarant they may tollerate slander against the lords but in Tethe'alla such comments are punishable by death."_

_"Truth is never slanderous, my leige."_

_"Then hold to your truth of 'demons' and 'demon seed stones' as much as you like, and may it ward the executioners blade."_

_X_

_Muzzled and chained like a common dog, Mithos had watched with wild terrorfied eyes as Yuan and Martel had been dragged to the executioners platform. Kratos hadn't been therre, rumor was whispered that he had begged the King of Tethe'alla for his life and had been given the executioners duty for that day._

_To prove his loyalty, his worth, he would have to kill two half elves._

_"An easy task," sneared one noble man in Yuan's hearing. "After all, what worth did half elves have?"_

_Shaking with rage, Yuan lifted his head. Glared bloody daggers at the crimson clad mercenary who strod before them. The symbols of the elite Tethe'allan guard had been hastily embroidered into his black sparrow tail cape. Yuan would have snarled a few choice coments, save he'd been gaged._

_"You will trade your honorable broad sword for the axe, a crude weapon for a crude killing. This is your charge, the death of these two animals, your families honor will be restored." Some obnoxious dressed fop sneared to the auburn haired human. "Do you accept?"_

_"I keep my broadsword." Kratos growled, clutching the flamberge with a possesiveness of a loving father._

_"Umm... this is outside the cerimony Mer. Aurio-"_

_"To hell with cerimony." So saying, Kratos smashed his blade into the page's guts, wrenched the weapon out, then leapt forward to kill the sole guard on the platform. The croud around the scofal went beserk, riot would keep the elite guards of the Teteh'allan army from storming the place and carrying out the execution themselves. Grinning, the mercenray cut Martel free, then unbount Yuan._

_"Fooled you, didn't I?"_

_"Not for a second." Martel assure him._

_"Like hell you did!" Yuan snarled, then seeing the glint of an arrow from the croud tackled the mercenary. An arrow hissed in the place the man's head would have been._

_Laughing like an idiot, drunk on victory and bloodlust, Kratos lifted his blade to Mithos._

_"Now boy!"_

_And the streets of Tethe'alla, once dry as Triet, denied the mana from Undine for months upon months by the voracious hunger of their magi-tech war machines were blessed with rain as Undine herself appeared._

_"First good cleaning the cities had in centuries I imagine." Kratos noted blandly, watching as the crowd struggled to keep from drowning. A few brave souls had clung tot he platform, were trying to pull themselves up. Callously Kratos walked amongst the groaping hands and cut them off. Shuddering in horror, Martel clung to Yuan. The blue haired half elf, sickened by the blood shed, closed his eyes. But his ears, those would never close. And he would remember, and be damned for that remembering._

_X_

_Time passed, like quicksilver sky fire, it blazed by and the war slowly crawled to a hault. As cults were exposed, corrupted leaders put in thier place. Tthe elves and humans grugingly came to realize the truth, and join thier 'corrupted birthen' in fighting off the few scouting parties of the Underworld. They'd found the entry point nestled in the dead roots of the Kharlan Tree, and they'd sealed it at great cost. An army born of rightousness dead, an aliance born of desperation, fadding._

_Old grudges were fast in reaserting themselves, the war had stopped for now, but the Great Trees decline was absolute._

_"They killed it." Martel sobbed, stroking the withered flank of the Kharlan tree._

_"Life is but a Season, a cycle of seasons, perhaps... this was how it was meant to end..." Kratos murmured. "If so, I've played my part. Enough is enough."_

_"You're just.. going to give up!" Mithos flared._

_"Yes, I am. I will see to the wellfare of my own, my firends." Kratos inclined his head to indicate them all. "Then I will leave. If you save the world, fine, if you don't or can not, then I will accept that as well."_

_"After all those people have died, to save the world..." Mithos hounded._

_"Don't ever, preach to me boy." Kratos flared. "'Never', is that clear! Never. This is too great for one man, one group, to solve. The tree is life..." Kratos' tone softened. "And this death, by this final death, is all life doomed."_

_X_

_Mithos never acepted that, nor did Martel, though Yuan had to admit thier hellish journeys without Kratos to mend what they could were futile things. They found the mercenary indulging in a life of ease in the new Sylune, built in the Hero's honor, he'd dropped by and been humored to hear that Yuan and Martel were to be married._

_"Finally."_

_There was a touch of grey to the man's hair, the barest slivers of silver, and Yuan wondered then. Wondered if perhaps Kratos' deliberate cruel abandonment of them was two fold in it's purpose. To abandon hope and to leave them so that his death by old age would make sure that they didn't abandon hope._

_"I do not understand you, Kratos."_

_"You aren't supposed to." The human countered._

_"How many years has it been, since we've last seen one another?" Yuan pressed._

_"Three." Kratos answer was non-chalant. He took a sip from his goblet, rolled his wrist and seemed fascinated by the liquid's sluggish stirrings within the glass._

_"Yet you do not rise to greet me, I could walk by-"_

_"You didn't, did you?"_

_Before Yuan could press, or demand an answer for the man's cryptic reposnse, Martel was there. She saw Kratos and smiled, embraced the human as she would her closest friend. Kratos smiled, gently returned the embrace, and he pulled back._

_"I know Yuan, child. He would becoem very jealous if we were to do that often."_

_"Don't "child" me, Kratos Aurion!"_

_The mercenary chuckled, bowed, then returned to his seat._

_"Where's Mi-"_

_"KRATOS!"_

_The chair was thrown back, Kratos tossed to the floor, and the goblet went flying as Mithos tackled the auburn haired man. Some strange secret thing seemed to slither into the man's guarded eyes, even as he smiled and patted the blonde haired Yggdrasil's head._

_"Still... doing 'that' I see." Kratos gasped, his eyes a little glazed._

_Martel laughed and pulled her younger brother off of the human._

_"He hasn't changed a bit since the demon war, I'm afraid."_

_And the secret, whatever it was, seemed to find life in Martel's sad wise eyes._

_X_

_"You've been avioding us." Yuan hounded the human, and Kratos good naturedly endured the hounding as they wound thier way through Isillite's market._

_"Yes, but you haven't guessed why."_

_"I heard you turn Mithos down, when he asked you to join us in the barony that the new king of Tethe-."_

_"It's just a show place, wild, untamed, no one actually gave you any power you know."_

_Yuan grunted, nodded his head. And when the human made to try to ditch him for the fifth time in one afternoon the half elf caught the human's shoulder with a hand and turned him around. They met each other's gaze, and only then did Yuan know that if he asked, he'd get the truth, just this once._

_"Why are you avoiding us?"_

_"Martel asked me to. We discussed it, and is seemed the most logical course."_

_"What? Why wou-?"_

_"Because of Mithos." The human sighed, reached up and plucked the half elf's hand from his cloaked shoulder. "Yuan, half elves age and mature at different rates than both thier parent spieces, correct?"_

_"Of course."_

_"It's a stragne thing, based off of need than logic?"_

_Thinking of his fast maturity, Yuan nodded. "More want than need, I wanted to be an adult, Martel also wanted it, if nothing else to be able to protect Mithos..."_

_"Mithos hasn't aged a day since that time three years ago. If he follows the natural pattern's of his life, he'll live for a few decades trapped in the body of an adolecent. His mind, will be trapped thinking as an adolecent thinks... It will take decades, perhaps centuries for him to be able to process thinks as an adult does. I'll be dead before that happens, probably before he even ends his boiological "childhood". Now, imagine what the death of a father figure does to a child's development, and then think about how Mithos sees me, and what would happen if he saw me die."_

_Yuan said nothing as the horrible implications of maddness -for that's what Mithos' grief might lead to- in one as powerful as Mithos Yggdrasil came to his mind._

_"It shouldn't have to end this way." Yuan whispered._

_"It already has, I'll oversee the wedding -of course- then dissapear once more. As I said before, my part in this is done. I've asked... Noishe to go to Mithos when I'm dead, that way, when he finds out he won't have to be alone."_

_Biting his lip, Yuan let out a small sigh. "Of course, you know you've saddled me with the damn bird as well for a few centuries. We won't turn Mithos out, not until he's ready to go out on his own..."_

_"A time in the distant future should not be dwelled upon, until the distance is crossed."_

_"For that," Yuan mockingly punched the human on his shoulder. "I may retract my offer." Surprise, rare in the icy mercenary, graced the human's features. Kratos rose a 'brow and Yuan chuckled. "As best man, you serving as that, I mean."_

_Surprise melded into pain, a dull guilt, but Kratos nodded. "I'd be honored."_

_X_

_"She... was pregnant, you know." Yuan murmured, staring at the unmarked stone that Kratos had placed over Martel's shallow grave. "We were, expecting a child. A girl..."_

_His voice broke, and strong arms closed over him, held him up._

_"Yuan, I know you want to break, but I need help. Mithos... He's catatonic."_

_Jerking out of his haze of grief, Yuan stared at the pale human. He couldn't hate them all. Couldn't hate Kratos. But Mithos would, he'd hate them all. Because that's how children saw, in extreams. If one was bad, they all must be, and despite everything Mithos was a child._

_"You should... leave... I'll tend to him."_

_Kratos jerked in surprise, then nodded. Bowed to Yuan's experience with a sigh._

_"What are you going to do?"_

_"Take care of him, away from everyone else. If he does snap..." Yuan's voice grew sick. "I want him away from everyone so that when he destroys himself-" Yuan couldn't continue, but Kratos nodded, understanding._

_"To save the legend, we must sacrifice our heros..." Kratos quoted, his expression twisting with disgust._

_"That we must." Yuan sighed. "What, about yourself?"_

_"You assume I had a life to return to, Yuan. That's a broad assumption, I'd thought you wiser than that."_

_And with only that criptic pronouncement as farewell Kratos abandoned his last friends to thier fate._

_X_

_Lifting the eternal blade, Mithos cocked his head to the side. Considered the writhing form of Kratos Aurion._

_Bloody wings had thrust out of the man's back, the swept around the human, the crimson stone in the human's chest gleamed like flame. Silently screaming, the human twisted, suddenly he went still, and Yuan's darkest hope was known to him in that moment._

_Gods, let him have died, the pain... it had been too much. Let him die._

_Slowly, Kratos lifted his head. His brown eyes now black. There was no pupil, no irius, only a black scar on a field of blood shot white. Gasping, the once man crawled to his feet, shoved the sobbing spirit of light away from him. Using only his hands, his nails, he gouged small holes in the side of the temples walls, and litterally climbed to his feet. He looked to Mithos, for only a second, then stared at Yuan. Blood trickled past his lips, the parted, yet no sound came from them._

_No sound would come from the man for another fifty years._

_Yet the word he'd mouthed was clear, it was etched into the half elf's mind with fire._

_Run._

_Yet he couldn't run, slender hands slid around him. Luna's embrace, her blessing, folded over him. Like moonlight enfolds then banishes the nights darkest shadosws. He writhed, and her devine hands tightened thier grip, tightened until it was all he could do to breathe..._

_The child walked towards him, the step of a monarch had somehow replaced the child-magi's own. Suddenly there was light, retina searing illuminance, and when his vision cleared Yuan no longer looked upon a child._

_But a man, only slightly taller than he, with golden hair and storm hued eyes._

_The Eternal was lifted, and Yuan's heart, his soul screamed in terror, but in that grip, the grip of a God, facing the power that preceded all the Gods, what could he -a mere mortal- do?_

_Save scream. Scream as the gates of hell were opened at his feet, and the demons of his past and present reached up with gleaming claws to devour his sanity._

_X_

_He was an observer, shutting out the world because the world reached for him with bloody hands and clawed at his newly healed soul. He'd taken residence in Welgaia's castle, it was vast enough that Mithos couldn't find him if he really tried. And immortality aside, Mithso was still the braty, whiny, lazy kid he'd been, even after getting those wings of his. So Yuan existed, cringed in the psedo shadows that existed in heaven, crept from room to room like some fallen goul._

_The only person he'd even spoken to -and "speak" of course was something of a misdeneamor now when applied to the newly appointed Derris fa Sith- was Kratos. They'd set up the trava board and play a few games, thier games could last days, weeks even._

_With neither man willing to rush games litteraly would take that long. Between rounds dust would gather around the bases of the least used pieces. Still, what was the point of speed, with time aplenty, what was the point of rushing anything? He'd spent countless hours in the library, reading ancient elvish script until he'd gotten into the habit of casually talking in ancient elvish. When Kraots caught him doing that, the Seraph had disappeared and came back with a cart load of modern books._

_"Are they any good?" Yuan had asked, still speaking with the elvish inflection (under emphasising the "o" sound and lazily rolling the "r"), even though he spoke the more modern tongue._

_"I don't know, I haven't even read one of them yet." The Seraph admitted._

_"What'd you do, loot a library?" Yuan teased, starteld that he remembered how. "Rather low for an ex-brigand, isn't it?"_

_"No, I bought it."_

_"You what?" Yuan gasped._

_"I sold that abnoxious gold plate armor in the waiting room, and bought the library." Kratos explained slowly. The ex-human's expression clearly stating that he was wondering if there was something seriously wrong with his friend._

_"Mithos is going to explode, he liked that armor." Yuan reminded the human shaped Seraph._

_Kratos bared his teeth in something that wasn't quite a smile, and nodded. "I know."_

_X_

_Kratos found his solace amongst the newly "made" worlds, while Yuan remained a ghost of Derris Kharlan. He'd walked the glistening pearl halls, studied the marble spires, until it all bored him. He found himself yawning, and craving the world of greens and browns. He ached for a sky that was blue an not jet streaked with starlets of white. He'd gotton so bored he'd summoned a lightning storm and had to pay for damages after trashing one of those perfect white buildings that sparradically came up in the white paved plain that was Derris Kharlan._

_Mithos' summons -sparatic things that he'd regularly ignored unless Kratos dragged him to the meeting chamber- were almost a relief. He'd made it his new hobby to count the number of failed chosens (AKA new angels) and ahd come with a strange snag in his calcualtions. Unless whole families were being dragged to the alters and set to go through the ritual -all at once- or Mithos was aging people in the Chosen's lines, drawing them from past and present, and future times, there were more angels than there should have been._

_He'd ask Mithos, after the job was done, what was going on._

_X_

_He stroked the green locks of the child he was supposed to kill. Swallow and knife were strapped to his back and belt, it would be an easy thing now that she slept._

_"What's your name?"_

_"Yuan."_

_"That's a silly name."_

_Indeed it was. The name of a fallen hero, a broken soul. It was his own. Perhaps one that his parent had given him, perhaps not, he hadn't told her yet that he wasn't sure as to who had given it to him. So much like Martel, he stroked her hair, pulled it back and studied the child's face. The jarring inconsitancys between the girl's continance and Martel's could be smoothed away, with power or delusion, it was his choice._

_Lazily he reached up, teased the girl's pointed ear. In sleep, they twitched, it was a trait neither he nor Martel had._

_She wasn't his, not his or Martel's. Yet she could have been._

_Should have been._

_"I don't quite buy reincarnation, little one." He told the sleeping girl. "The concept it too neat and pat. Let's just ascribe this all to chance and let the matter slide, hmm?"_

_She grumbled, smacked his leg with a hand, as if to shut him up._

_Chuckling, Yuan lay on the sands of Triet. Sand that was neither hot nor cold to his dead touch. He started at the sky and cursed it for it's darkness. It was the same, the sky of Derris Kharlan, and Sylarant. Suddenly he jolted in pain, jerked away from the source, and Rene whined and groaped about in a sleepy slowed way. Shaking, eyes wide in horror, the Seraph tugged his tunic, pulled it up enough so he could see. Half expecting to spy a scorch mark in the shape of the child's hand upon his waist, his skin was unmarked, the flesh untarnished._

_Gods... he hastily pulled his unic back down and stared at the girl in horror._

_Not for the girl herself, she wasn't a horrible thing, rather the horror was directed at himself. He'd taken the lack of sustiance for granted all these years, occasionally aching to taste but little more than that. He'd endured the inability to sleep as best he could -forever craving oblivion yet understanding it was no longer his to reclaim- and had taken the enhanced hearing as a mixed blessing that had allowed him to avoid those who wished to find him..._

_But this, 'this' was too much. To not touch, to not be touched, for an eternity._

_"C..cold..." She shook, her eyes fluttering open, still glazed, she crawled towards him. Her suffering, even dimmed by her sleepiness, was too much for him to bare. Slowly he scooped her up in his arms, cringing in pain, but forbaring to cry out and make a show of the agony his comapssion was costing him._

_Eventually she stilled, and when he was sure that she had slipped back into slumber he reached out with a foot and slowly dragged the girl's blanket towards him. It took effort, and he was burned at least a hundred times as thier flesh met, but he got her wound up in the thing. Satisfied, he held her through the night, then set her on the earth when he sensed her waking._

_Best not to confuse the matter, he decided. Ignoring the look of saddness on he face when she precieed him to have avoided her through the night. Best she didn't make any... unseemly attachments._

_X_

_"She ha' some fit, yer lor' ship." The Desian grunted. "Frie' two o' my best guar's."_

_"A shame." Yuan said coldly. "She summoned fire, you said?"_

_"Yes." The Desian sulked, obiously expecting something from him. A damages fee covered? Perhaps a replacement soldier for the two lost? If so, he could look elsewere._

_"Excelent, dismissed."_

_"But my.."_

_"I said, 'dismissed'." Yuan rasped, his wings appeared then, and the desian fled, tail between his legs. Yuan chuckled, folded the unnatural extremities to his sides and flicked his gaze on the cringing Rene. "Just two?"_

_Rene was confused by the Seraph's suddenly jovel turn of voice. She thought it over, ruled out mood swings -as that was a woman's ailment- and frowned._

_"What?" She squeaked._

_"Only two? At your age it should have been five. Shoot for five next time, it's good practice."_

_"Umm... alright?" Rene squeaked._

_"Don't worry..." The Seraph patted the girl's head. "It's just a stage, you'll be over it in a few years."_

_"Years?" Rene squeaked her protest._

_"Years," Yuan assured, his lips curling into a wry grin. "It will be a trying time, but you won't be alone. That much I can promise. I won't leave you to weather this trial alone."_

_X_

_There was a slight rap on the door, considering the mood he was in he counted the knocker as very brave. Groaning, rubbing his temples, Yuan lifted a hand from it's past time of soothing and arcanely made the door slide open. Rene slipped in, her newly made and still glossy vest, pant, and coat combination caught the magi light and seared starlets of white hue into his skull. Groaning, Yuan called that the final straw and covered his head with his hands._

_Chuckling, Rene walked across the room, his skull helpfully shifted the tempo of it's throbbing with the soft sound. There was a click, and Yuan liftd his eyes hopefully. Damn, Rene wasn't setting a cross bow to his skull and pressing the trigger, she'd only left an addition to his desk._

_He blinked, lifted his head and raked a shking hand truogh his tangled locks. Licking his lips, he tried to speak._

_"Rene, Mer Delina, what in the Godless worlds is th-"_

_"Tea, green tea with some additives. I told Feruon you were sick with a headache and she made some up."_

_"I can't drink." Yuan rasped. "I'll just hack it up in an hour or two."_

_"I imagine it wouldn't taste good." The newly appointed Second noted. "But the 'fumes' are what will make you feel better, not the drink itself."_

_Snatching the cup, he dragged it over the length of wood that served as his desk. He hastily set it under his chin and while not quite daring to drink managed to nerve a deep breath. The stuffy pressure behind his norstrils and skull disipated, a tiny bit._

_Closing his eyes, he sighed, went through a deep breathing exercise and found that his agony was disipating._

_"Do you want a promotion?" He asked._

_"Your job? No thanks." Rene wrinkled her nose in distatse. "I don't know what I'd hate about it more; having to thrash Z'eh so he won't attack the other sub-commanders, having to deal with appointing the other commanders, the paperwork, the continuous martial training that you drill into the lot of the more magically inclined fighters here... or the headaches caused by dealing with a mouthy Second."_

_"That last one isn't quite that bad." Yuan grunted. "As I know exactly where she got that mouth from, I find myself able to pardon it."_

_"Oh gee, thanks." Rene growled. She lazily tossed some paperwork on the desk._

_The desk he'd just cleared off... Snarling her ached only to push the offending papers off the edge of the worlds' higherst cliff. Since that was rather far away -Hima was something of a weeks flight in the best of weather for him- he'd have settled for the edge of his desk. Save Rene reached out and plopped the cup on the papers._

_Damn, in order to get to the cup he'd have to reach across the desk. Damn it, it wasn't fair! Still, need prompted him, he took the cup and glimpsed at the papers. Reports, he moaned, recognizing the mark of the Armsmaster on the upper left corner of some._

_"Shoot me now Rene, please?" He whimpered._

_"Grow up, I suffer through the whole bloody summer, you can deal with all of three few weeks."_

_"But it's monsoon season!" Yuan whined._

_As if to agree, there was a loud clap of thunder, and the Seraph whimpered as the power that was calling to him so seductivly all but screamed. The howling power died down, the rubmle of thunder rolled across the sky, and his headache peaked in time with the loudest vibrations._

_"Oh Gods... I want to die..." Yuan moaned. "It there's a crisis, I'll be hiding, under my desk."_

_So saying, Yuan crawled under his desk, taking the cup with him so Rene wouldn't try to use it to coax him out of hiding._

_"Yuan Vor'esse!" Rene flared._

_"I'm not coming out." Yuan snarled._

_"Are you two or two thousand!" Rene snarled, reaching down to grab at his cape and drag him out. Like Hell she was! Snarling, the angel summoned a shield of light and gently buffeted his commander so she fell on her backside._

_"check in with me in a week, but until this damned season is over, the answer is two!" Yuan growled, Hidden within his snug cocoon of light mana and the crock of his desk, Yuan craddled the cup in his shaking hands. "Now go away!"_

_She went so far as to kick the desk in frusteration, he watched her feet make a slow circuit around his sanctuary, his blue eyes glinting. One of those feet slipped in an inch he'd shock it, use self defense as an excuse..._

_"Not until you do your damned job, I remember exactly what hell you put me through when I was si-"_

_"You had a hang over!" Yuan roared, and winced as the pain in his skull flared again, this time in rythem with his yelling._

_"I was 'sick'." Rene hissed. "And you made me take on Z'eh in a sword fight, then I had to take on his traniees, then..."_

_"So I was a sadistic bastard, it's a vice!" Yuan roared. "You're my Second, and you're not allowed to..."_

_"-To have a social life!" Rene flared._

_"-No, you're not allowed to act like a child when it's clear that adult guildance is needed to run this organization!" Yuan snapped._

_"Well that puts you out of the running, doesn't it?" Came the girl's acid slicked response._

_Wincing, Yuan let silence be his rebuttle, and he heard Rene take a deep breath. The tension between them was still too fresh, thier mutual anger and her disillusionment at finding out he wasn't perfect, it was a potentially dangerous combination. It made a schism between them when what they needed was a unified front. Still, honesty was what was needed, to keep lying to her like that... Yuan didn't have the heart for it. So the pain was there for them both, the anger, and he being older handled it better than the the child he'd taken as his own. And child she was, he winced, cursed himself for forgetting._

_"If I appologize and offer to come out so you can read the reports to me, do you promsie not to kick my face in?" Yuan asked, his tone slow, soothing._

_"No lighting spells?" Rene countered wearily._

_"I can't even see straight." The Seraph confided in a small voice, dropping his pose of power and command he'd worn for so many long months. "My hands won't stop shaking, I doubt I could hurt an ant in this state."_

_Sighing, Rene nodded, then forgetting that he couldn't see cleared her throat._

_"I think... I owe you the appology. It's just... with everything... But that's not an excuse, I'm sorry for being such an insensitive brat."_

_"Accepted." Yuan offered, his pointed ear twitched as he heard her take a seat in the chair he'd left out for whatever visitor would dare his temper during the monsoon season. "Pain.. a forign thing to me, make me short with you, and indifferent to my tasks that I should take more seriously... for that, I appologize."_

_There was a long pause, a long silence._

_"Accepted?" He hazarded._

_"Can't you be gushier than that?" Rene whined. "You have to admit, that was a really lame and stilted apology."_

_Despite his pain, his anger, he managed a tired laugh. "Better than the "moths" comment, right?"_

_Remembeing that incident, when after springing a trap set up fro some invading bandits Rene had caught Yuan muttering that tired cliche "like moths to the flame" line, the Second laughed._

_"Anything's better than that."_

_"My pride, it hurts as much as my head does now." The Seraph whined, with a tired gesture he banished the light shield and crawled out from under his desk. "Gods, I hope this season ends soon..."_

_Grunting, Rene nodded, perhaps thinking of how moody Vryce had gotten lately. She'd spurned Z'eh's advances, and if rumor held true was quietly courting the somewhat fussy magi. While not the ideal mate in Yuan's mind -he found Vryce to be somewhat boring- it was better than the alternative._

_Hell, he wouldn't protest Rene taking a 'cat' out for dinner if it was between the cat and Z'eh..._

_"Damn..." Yuan blinked, watched numbly as Rene tried to save some of the papers from the tea she'd accidently knocked over. "I'll get you some more tea and ask Z'eh for a copy of the rep-"_

_"Don't bother, when's the man done anything other than whine about someone in his reports? The last one was pure bunk, some anti-Yashin rant." Yuan waved a hand. "Just throw it away."_

_"He mentioned a sword." Rene frowned, studied the runny green stained paper intently._

_"I'll write him back and tell him he can keep the loot, that was part of our initial agreement after all."_

_"Loot?"_

_"Loot." Yuan shrugged. "He's a bandit, I was a thief, we speak a somewhat common language."_

_"Hunh." Gingerly rollingthe stained paper into a ball, the Second threw it into the trash bin by Yuan's desk, and smirked. "Common, I doubt that."_

_X_

_"Yuan, behin-" Turning, the Seraph's mind still ringing from the memory ofthe howling alarm filled maze they'd just treaded throgh, he opened an hand and released some power. Lightning illuminated the girl's features, for a heartbeat, he stared in horror at those black pit eyes, then she was sent flying back. Pweor licked around his fingers, he was paralized, the bolts power had killed._

_He had killed, a child, an inno-_

_Small hands grabbed him, shoved him. He staggered under the attack, andthe Soul Eater cut the space between himself and his saviour. Bryan staggered back, purple eyes wide in shock as he stared at the thin line that appeared on his armored fore arm. Magi-tech blessed steel had parted under the armsmaster's attack as if it hadn't even been there..._

_Whipping his swallow up, Yuan strived to tangle the weapon master's blade, as he had on thier first meeting those many years ago. And it was the Seraph who came out of the routine disarmed, as the weapon he sought to tangle bit into his swallow and reached for him with drooling fangs..._

_In desperation the Seraph called upon his inate powers of magic. Another lighting bolt flew from his fingers and Z'eh staggered back from the hit. The mortal's red blood flying, his twitching form hitting the steel floor and sliding back under the force of the attack._

_Motion, out of the corner of his eye caught his attention,Yuan turned, but it was Bryan who attacked first. The boy shook off his shock and opened fire with a mother of pearl bolt._

_The girl's form shuddered, her empty eyes filled with light, with color, and in that slow eternity that was the span it took to die, life faded from those violet eyes into unblinking death._

_Violet eyes... shaking, Yuan watched in numb horror as the demonic shadows fell away, as the boy fell to his knees crying out in pain as he realized too late._

_To save his Lord, Bryan Collens had thoughtlessly attacked. Thoughtlessly killed his own flesh and blood. By his hand, for no other could be blamed, the boy had just been forced to kill his sister. Seeing the echoes of his own grief, his own loss, Yuan staggered away from the boy, limped over the downed armsmaster who had somehow survived the Seraphs' attack, and went to the insigator of this chaos._

_Hellfire eye, ever burning, it locked on him, and it growled. The Devil's Arm growled upon him, and the Seraph glared back at it. Matching a devils hate with his own poor wasted mortal own._

_It snarled in hate and reached to seduce, and then screamed as he immursed it in enough light mana to garantee that the floor by it would disolved under the onslaught. It shrieked and writhed, and at last slid into slumber, it's sole eye sliding shut under the burning light of a Seraph's fully bared power._

_Reaching down, holding the now harmelss blade, Yuan staggered away from the shattered tiles and disolving part of the floor. There was much to do, so much... He had to consider, to destroy this thing... the bodies... he'd have to dispose of those as well. The Devil's Arm might be able to coax the fallen into a state of undeath. That couldn't be allowed..._

_But, perhaps most importatnly. he had a soul to over see. A young mind to keep from falling into the same hell he himself endured. He held teh child, and when the boy seemed more secure leaned down and hissed into the boy's pointed ear._

_"Bryan... when they ask, who fired that shot, you are going to tell them I did it."_

_Not understaning, the boy looked almost ready to protest._

_"That's an order, I killed her, not you. Is that clear, Private?"_

_"Yes.. my..."_

_"I am lord of nothing..." Yuan snapped bitterly. "Don't make a mockery of that which is already disgraced."_

_Shaking, unwilling to lift his hand from where it had fallen, upon his sister's shoulder, the young half elf clearly did not understand. The confusion wasn't in his manner, or voice -he was beyond talking now, giving into his grief in full- rather it had been expressed in the twilight of his eyes. Just a glint, a flash of confusion to be swallowed by a tide of guilt. The Seraph gently reached down, lead the boy away from the girl with the time seemed right, and offered the child the meanger comfort of his shoulder and touch as it seemed needed. It was onl when he heard the guards comming -that he reached down and with fingers that had endured the centuries yet had not lost a whit of thier cunning- that he gently lifted the cross bow off the boy's belt._


	38. in the end

Chapter 38

Judgment: In the End

A/N: In my original notes Mer. Shai Collens get's to Yuan and drags the Seraph up to his feet by the throat. Bryan Collen kills his adopted 'father' in Yuan's defense. I gentled Bryan a little with the final draft, and gave Rene a more prominant role in the intro scene because of that.

"You're telling me…" Mer Collen's eyes went wide as he stared at his son. "That, my daughter… that you…"

Face pale, eyes streaked with red grief, Bryan Collens stared straight ahead. His hands quaked, the spears tip bobbed and weaved, it slowly drooped as his father's anger settled upon him. He did not turn to acknowledge his sire, could not turn, and his pale reflection was now shone in the three mirrors. Behind them, there was cast a backdrop of awed silence. Nearly forty half bloods, stood, pale, shaking, as they silently recovered from the shock of having two thousand years of unnatural life rammed down their throats.

"Private Bryan's actions, however tragic their consequence were, are not his fault. He carried them under my order, and because he is not of age all responsibility and guilt falls upon me." Yuan whispered; at last opening the eyes he'd closed in a futile attempt to stop the damning tide of memory.

"A hell of a lot more than just _guilt_ falls upon you, Seraph!" Z'eh's champion spat, he pushed his way past the shocked Second and Judgment, advancing on the Seraph, violence written in his every line.

The man stopped, as the black tipped spear was turned in his direction. Lips curling back into a soundless snarl, the half elf reached out to wrench the weapon from his son's hands.

"With all due respect, Mer Collens." Bryan whispered; his face twisted to show both terror and resolution. "My orders are to protect Lord Yuan."

"I'm your damned father, and you will stand aside!" The purple haired half elf roared.

"No." When Bryan finally gathered his courage and spoke, his tone and frame were both shaking. "You married my mother after the attack and took us in, that doesn't make you _my_ father. Maybe you loved Shala, but you never loved me! You're the one who made me go to that monster, to get _trained_. To _toughen_ me up." Bryan laughed, the sound twisted into something awful by his hate. "You didn't care, not when you saw the damned bruises, not when you saw Z'eh beating me. You don't care now, all you want is someone to blame, someone to hate."

There was a hiss, the half elf champion drew his short sword and grimly advanced.

"No son of mine, no ward of Collens, would slander their elders. They would never protect a beast who's so obviously seeped in the blood of our own."

Gritting his teeth, Bryan stood fast, braced the spear in his hands. The elder Collens lifted his weapon, his violet eyes gleaming insanely, his blade hissed through the air and meant first to shear through the raised staff of the spear then through the skull of the spear weilder.

If never got that far though. There was a dry creek, a hiss, and the sword flew from the older Collen's hands.

"There will be order." Rene snarled, "Even if I have to disarm and execute ever homicidal bent half elf in this room. Bryan, put up your spear, you won't be needing it any longer. Judgement?"

"Go right ahead, Rene, it's not like I could stop you even if I wanted to." Yashin said wryly.

"Mer. Collens, you have ten seconds to take five steps back from Yuan, you don't and I shoot, is that clear?"

"You wouldn't da-"

Cooly Rene reloaded her bow, her green eyes blazing.

"I've had a hell of a three days, Mer Collens, I will shoot, and shoot to kill. Try me, whiping you from the face of the Sylvarant would really make my day."

"You're as much of a traitor as he is!" The older Collens snarled.

"No, Mer. Collens, I am my father's daughter, that's all."

X

"Judgment, has been rendered."

Yashin spoke, it was perhaps the third time he had done so in the last few days. While the break in the small newly made custom was excused, it wieghed a little bit on Yuan's mind. An oath of silence had been put in place to hopes that the Judgment would consider all set before him during the silence dictated by his duty, not that he'd accuse Yashin of any form of flipancy in this hearing -or any other- but it could set a bad example for future generations.

Setting that worry aside, the Seraph lifted his head, looked upon the man -a friend- who had laid the blade of Seraph's Bane across the table before him. It's edge would dictate who would die, for death had been the general consencious, death was demanded.

As if more blood could bring back the dead, he'd have sighed, but his toxicocious seemed heavily set upon him that day. He'd risen after a span of shamed sleep barely able to speak. Only able to utter a few words at a hourse whisper.

"It's the mana, my lord. The dark mana. Whatever internal mechanism you hold to maintain your humanity are being worn away by the continuous exposure to your oposite." Feruon had explained as she'd checked and changed the bandages she'd wound around his still scorched head. Rene had frowned, poointedly not looking at him. Were his wounds so horendous? He doubted that. Rather the sight of his pain and suffering made it that way for the girl.

"It will pass..." He croaked. It was a statement, not a question, and Rene looked upon him then and her lips twisted into a sad smile.

"Eventually, it'll probably take a few weeks though. I'll have to remember so I don't take advantage of it."

"You presume..." Yaun coughed. "That.. command... is mine."

"If not here, than somewhere else." Rene told him. "I'll stop the execution myself and we'll get out of here, if that's what's needed."

"I've supplies packed, for both of you. Just in case." Feruon informed them. "Yashin, Clavk, Bryan, Bruen, Vryce, and most of your guard have plans to withdraw quietly if it comes to that. Z'eh might win, he's got most of the older ones, we've got the younger, however this ends it's going to strip us of half our people."

"You presume,-" Rene frowned, perhaps uncomfortable to find that Yuan's word chocie was rubbing off on her. "-that the younger will be willing to leave thier families."

"If they don't leave, Z'eh will drive them off, or kill them." Feruon had predicted grimly. "Remember, one of my duties is to check for sanity. I had to scan Z'eh's mind, not a fun experience, but it's useful to see just how depraved that bastards' become."

"When was he ever sane?" Rene had snorted, then winced. "Damn it... I really think that whole mirror spell had made me more like you Yuan, in a bad way."

"When you were a child, he was." Feruon said, a small smile gracing her motherly features. "His condition deteriated right after the Silver's attack, I'm guessing the strain of his hate, the sight of hte bloodshead, coupled with the responsibilities he had to take on would have done it. But it was the call of the Devil's Arm that pushed him to the edge."

Yuan had said nothing to agree or dispute. He had his own theroy's on the matter, his own guilt to carry for this. He looked up into the black silver cast, black topaz hilted, black onix tipped, blade, and had to admit, at least the blade of his bane was monochromatic. He could almost taste the friction in the air, there would be hate, bitter blood, but if authority was restored to him he would do his best to mend what he could, and those who remained would bare his closer scrutiny.

now whether his scrutiny, interfieance, and the like were a better thing fo them or not, the Seraph wasn't quite sure. But his ignorance, his lack of action, had lead to this. He'd try the opposite track, and pray for the best, and hope... that whatever gods were left in these forsaken shattered worlds were merciful ones.

Silence riegned as Yashin stood, and with a shaking hand plunged theblack blade into the wooden desk before him. It's cold steel would be lifted again only to deal the killing blows. Forsaking his vow, for now was the moment to do so, he pulled out a paper from the pocket of his robes and laid it out before him.

"The stones have been counted, white for yes, black for no. For the first quiery, whether Yuan Vor'esse should not be killed for crimes against this organization, black seven, white twenty six... Whether Z'eh should be killed for crimes against this orginazation, black... eight, white twenty five... Whether any punishment should fall upon Mer Bryan for his actions during his span of authority during th crisus white ten, black twenty three... whether the actions of Ms Rene Vor'esse during the crisus are permissable to allow her to retain both rank and life...

There was a murmur from that, and Yashin raised a hand to call for quiet.

"Ms. Voresse has made it clear, she does not want one without the other, hence two seperate subjects were merged into one."

And so it went on, a droaning of decrees an votes, a ploding yet thurough process that slowly, surely would indicate the loyalty of those who remained within Triet's Ranch.

X

"We've ten, two familes refusing to cooperate, my lord."

Yuan nodded, leaned back in his chair and stared in numb wonder at the office that was his again.

"You orders."

"Gather them up," THe seraph whispered, "it is time for them to learn thier judgments, by my hand."


	39. 39

a/n: Sheesh, one misleading title and a nonupdate of three days and people think you're quitting a story. Whatever is the world coming too? No, it isn't the end, I miss-titled the last chapter (doing three chapters for three stories at once I found all the chapters under the wrong name and spot in my fanfic storage account. Oh the joys of rushing…).

Chapter 39

_Lies and falsehood, the marks of a traitor, the marks of a coward, these marks do we leave on cases of extream incompetance or betrayal. This damnation, which we shattered to make the organization, will be the chain and sorrow of those few who conspire against us and strive to destroy that which we've made from within._

_Renegade writ from Crimes and Punishment, sub collum, Traitors, page fifty nine._

"Ten rebels, housed within our walls." Bryan announced. "I don't like that number, it's almost twice as many soldiers as Z'eh had."

"They haven't done anything, until they do they aren't rebels." Rene snapped the correction, rubbing her throbbing temples. They'd tried to assemble the sub-commanders, but after taking one look at the haggard Second's face Yuan had broken the meeting up.

"We need to rest, let the others rest. It would be unseemly to exercise our power so promptly anyways. There is grief that needs to be dealt with, and we all need a time to breath."

So they'd take a week off. A mourning period had been declared, under Yuan's jurisdiction, and was followed by everyone. Rations were short, desperately short, but the Serpah had not let that slip out. He'd given them that week, though cold rational told him that they could not spare the time, and he'd given himself a week to think things over. Confirm and consolidate his theories and fears.

"Well, we can't just let them out…" Bryan protested, shifting his new white quartz short sword, he wore the rank of his new office with many signs of discomfort. Having argued long and hard that someone –anyone- else take the post of Arm master.

"You've seen cruelty, bloodshed, and you abhor both. That makes you most qualified to stop it. I'm not looking for expertise, but compassion, sub commander." Yuan had rasped, reaching up he whipped a thin tricklet of blood from his brow with a shaking hand. "Don't fail me in these requirements, and you'll be fine."

"There are many matters that must be attended. First, is the disbanding of our militant heavy order. The notion that Cruxis will fall in our life times is absurdity in the highest form. Better we make this a place of enlightenment and self defense than hold to the fleeting hopes that by our will we can cause Cruxis to be destroyed."

That caused an uproar, all the subcomanders, including Feruon and Rene, exploded into anger.

"What the hells is this bunk?" Vryce yelled.

"We've laid our lived down to get this thing started and just because we hit one snag…" Yashin hissed, his ice eyes glittering with a dangerous light.

"This _snag_." Yuan croaked. "Has cost lives, and in the aftermath of the schism we'll have less than half of our forces."

Silence descended, as both grief and shame overwhelmed the Seraph and contorted his features. Gasping in pain, still not fully healed, Yuan sank back into his tall chair. Instinctively he curled into the softness of the seat that he could not feel.

"We've done enough. More people than ever know of Cruxis' true goals, their true purpose. That is enough."

"The original goal of this organization was to defeat Cruxis." Rene protested queitly. "If we abandon our course, we abandon those who've died to see it fufilled."

"Rarely do the dead raise up and protest the actions of the living."

"No, but thier descendents do." Feruon snapped. "The generations after our own, do you think they're content to be slaves, slaughtering sheep for a flock of so called angels?"

"With or without you, Lord Yuan, we'll continue." Beruon rumbled. "We'll be sorely pressed, but those tend to be the best fights."

Bryan nodded his agreement and Yashin snorted, muttered something about thick headed fighters only thinking with thier swords.

"The most interesting fights tend to be..." Clavk chimed in. "...very visable."

"They've gone kamakazzi." Feruon moaned. "Gentlemen, try to remember, I can't bring back the dead. My healing _does_ have a limit."

"They'll try, for all of a second." Rene grumbled. "Then they'll 'forget'. The testostorone in this room is so thick it'd dull an sword."

The men glared at the women, and Yuan lifted a hand to rub at his temple, ignoring or perhaps ignorant, of the thin trickle of red that seeped out form the long scab that stretched from one brow to the other.

"If I left, you'd all kill each other in ten minutes." Yuan rasped.

"Well than, I guess you can't." Rene quipped.

"An odd way to make me stay." The Seraph grumbled as his subcommanders -comforted by the banter between Second and Lord that Yuan was indeed staying- proceded to argue with each other on what they should and could do next.

"No, it's merely taking the cold water that you're feet have stumbled into and putting it in a bucket to better dump upon your head." Rene answered smoothly.

X

"We'll have to barter with the other ranches, trade weapons for food, medicine, and the like." Yuan whispered, his long fingers lazily twirled the feather quill pen on hand. When the others proested, or made move to Yuan shook his head. "No other.. way... we've almost nothing left for foot, and a massive hunting raid on our part would disturb the delicate ecology of Triet."

"That would endanger the human's bandit and honest, who've made thier home here." Feruon chimed in, then she cast Yuan a long look. "My Lord, with all due respect, you need to be resting. you're mana levels are very low."

"No time. Yggdrasil will be having a meeting in two weeks, I'll need that time to prepare... forged documents."

"I'll do it." Vryce then raised a hand when Yuan looked ready to protest. "Lord Yuan, I can forge anyone's handwriting after I've studied it for a bit."

"Trust doesn't bite." Rene chimed in.

Looking from Second to Secretary, Yuan rose a brow.

"That is.. the least taxing of my duties. We can not.. as a honest, ethical organization... contain people who have no want to remain."

"Well they can't just walk out." Bryan grumbled. "They know way too much. If Ugdarzule caught them for one second he'd know about everyone else."

"Yggdrasil." Came the weary choral correction from the rest of the subcomanders and Lord.

"Whatever." Bryan huffed.

"Was I that young, once?" Rene mouthed to Yuan. The Seraph only nodded and Rene speared him with a look filled with sarcasm and ill content when his cool expression told her that Yuan thought that she still was.

"The question... is not whether we free them, but rather how much they should retain? What memeories are most damning to us? What can we leave them, if anything? Explainations, emptiness, flasehoods, or delusion, what would make them the most whole?" The Seraph whispered, when the moment seemed right and the easy banter on an ebb and seriousness on the rise.

"And do they deserve that wholeness." Yashin growled. "There's that too."

"Most are victums, blinded by terror, they see Z'eh as a revolutionary for the cause of good. To overthrow the _evil Serpah_, Lord Yuan." Rene cut in.

"You said... "as"..." Bryan jumped on the idea that seemed to have passed everyone else. "Lord Yashin, you don't mean to tell me he's still alive, do you?"

"Yes, and if you have any complaints on the matter, I'd advise talking to Yuan about it." The ghostly half elf inclined his head, to indicate the Seraph. "And Bryan, we cut the Lords and Ladies out when we enter this room. Well, save for Lord Yuan, of course."

Raising an eyebrow, Yuan's stare impassive, bellying none of the tensions, stresses, or pains of his position.

"Of course. I think, that for now we should consider all matter on hold. Go back to your sectors, do a check to make sure everythings in order, Vryce I'll send you some samples via an aide when I get the chance. Start practicing, I've a lengthy reprot to send to Lord Tyrant Yggdrasil. Dismissed."

"My Lor-" Shaking his head, Bryan tried agian. "Yuan, sir, could I talk to you, alone?"

Inclining his head, the seraph agreed, and banished Rene. The Second looked less than thrilled to be sent off, but bowed to Yuan and padded out with the others.

"Something.. is bothiering you, Bryan?"

"A lot," The boy admited, then bit his lip. "Sir, why did you spare Z'eh. He'd killed so many... he's a monster!"

"If monsters were dictate by teh corpses at thier feet, we'd all meet that qualification. Sit, Armmaster, I'd rather bite this issue firmly, before it leads to discontent. W'eve had enough of that, I imagine."

Thinkin of Z';eh, and what his discontent had harbored, Bryan nodded, and took hsi seat.


	40. dark to light

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 40

Choices: Dark to light

_"To pursue cruelty and hatred when these two things are the staple of the enemy is, if nothing else, hypocrisy in its highest form. At best it makes us fools, at worst it makes us them."_

_Rene Vor'esse_

Only one of them was bound, yet his bondage was not overly tight, the muzzle he'd been forced to ware was replaced with a gag…

It seemed ironic, that the man bound was a murder, and the man issuing the orders of the contained ones state was the murder's intended victim. But the world was filled with ironies. They allowed the lips to quirk even as the taste of blood seeped into the mouth. Cosmic humor allowed the bitter to be taken with a drop of sweet, to keep the brew from going foul. It also served as a way to keep the enlightened mind from going mad.

Rubbing at his temples, Yuan looked over Vryce's mess of notes. The secretary was good, only after two nights of study and practice Yuan considered the man's handwriting almost a mirror image of his own. Comfortably seated in the security chamber's command chair -having been pivotal in overseeing the cleansing of the chamber of all demonic mana- the Seraph spent a few moments resting after his efforts. Had spent some of his time away from his new helish task to see humor in the Secretary's skill in counterfiet. With a sigh he allowed his over duty obsessed mind to asert itself and went back to watching the screens before him.

For all intents and purposes the base had been abandoned, some of the rooms on the lower levels trashed, and the chambers that would lead to the higher floors were closed off.

A few guards remained; Bryan and some devout soldiers, once civilians and victims of the Silver's raid, were posted by the entries on the off possibility that one of Z'eh's followers would find a way up. His own guard consisted of Rene and Clavk. Feruon and her staff as well as a few of the more squeamish peace minded folk that had decided to stay were secreted away in the caverns that riddled the mountains which flanked the east side of the base.

Again, another irony… another twist, for those very caves had been both his and Rene's sanctuary those long years before this had all began.

There was movement, his eyes locked on the main screen. His eyes reflected the chamber, it's six pillars and magi tech infused walls were stained blue in the azura field of his eyes. One of the disloyal were awakening, slowly the purple haired half elf came to. His eyes wide, he rubbed at his throbbing temples, and then looked around. Wide and vacant, the eyes once dark violet was now the palest shade of purple.

Nodding, he indicated the aide who hovered at his elbow was to write.

"The gathered specimen of half elves suffering form the angelic version of the memory steal and memory fabrication spells seem to bare two onset symptoms. Headaches, and the lightening of the color of their eyes."

Dazed confused eyes, empty hollow cries, the half elves were awakening, whimpering in pain and the loss of _something_. Something fundamental to their well being, to their sanity… He sighed, insanity was a possibility, he'd warned them all, begged and pleaded, and still thirteen of his newfound order had decided to leave. This was the consequence, it's weight was his to bare as well as theirs.

They untied Z'eh, one of the half elves looked upon the wild eyed ex-armsmaster and perhaps saw leadership potential, because they asked him what was going on.

_He doesn't know._ Yuan mouthed the words. Not having the energy to spare for speaking. None of them would know. They'd only know that there was something wrong, something within Cruxis so tainted, so evil, they'd have an unnatural abhorrence of the church for the rest of their lives. Would they strike out against it? Strive in there mindless hollow minds to piece together the shattered remains of their souls, would the pieces only come together after being bathed in blood? The blood, must it be the reap after an orgy of vengence?

If Z'eh took command, Yuan knew that that option would be the only allowed for this group.

Weapons, food, water skins filled to brimming, they were all cast about the room in seemingly random fasion. The souless band, roamed around the room, picking them up. Discussing, trying to piece together, and finding in thier tense talk that they all lacked memory. Only left with instinct and strangly disconnected facts that with effort and time be applied to trades or task...

Z'eh not so elegantly assumed comand after punching some detractor's face in. Yuan winced, that was not a good sign.

Sheep, he mused, they were sheep, having the same weakness as Z'eh did. Blindly following the strongest. After a few moments of bickering, confusion, those weakened enough by the destruction of thier mental facilites were forciably brought around and lead -or in one case dragged- out of the base. They'd follow instinct, an artificially planted one, to avoid Triet at all cost.

What came for them was still waiting, in the maze of steel and sand, they'd flee and never return.

Licking his lips, he watched them leave then at last blinked and turned away. Yuan tried his voice, and it came out tight, hard, forced.

"Success on the initial stages of the memory wipe project are a sucsess. Rene, call the other's back."

"Lord," The aide shuddered, "is there to be a follow up report or servailance of the subjects?"

"No." Yuan shook his head. "They've left, of thier own will. They've washed thier hands of us, and we of them. Let them make thier own lives now, away from this maddness."

"From maddness, into maddness."

Yuan's lip quirked, he turned the chair slowly so that he faced his Second.

"The world is mad, ruled by a mad child, what else can we expect?"

X

"Manpower, doesn't grow on trees." Yuan snapped, glaring at his mess of assembled sub comanders, and the head of the bases' guard. They were a sorry gathering, once meant to represent a mere fraction of the personel of the base they were almost a majority. The actually number from Clavk's report was closer to a half, but the true statistic was almost as depressing as the exagerated one.

All for the fact it wasn't all that far from the exageration.

"We're going to be short handed, unless you'd like open minded half elves to fall from the sky and decide -after recovering from thier concussions- that Triet has such a charming clime that they'd like to stay."

"That was uncalled for, Yuan." Rene sighed. "We're all tense, annoyed, and angry, but infighting is what lead to this mess."

Snapping his teeth together, shoving a mess of writhing anger, exasperation, and frusteration into the dark chasm of his heart, the Seraph managed a semi-civil grunt and picked up some of the papers on his desk and began to read.

"Mess, is an understatement." Clavk growled. "None of us can get our tasks done, we can't even hold up a coherant system. The people who have the skills are too hard pressed to meet the needs of those remaining. They're getting sick from the over-load of work.

"And the children aren't growing up fast enough to help thier parents." Bruen noted. "They can do little things, but the bulk of those that didn't go with thier parents are either now part of the overworked adult statistic, or far too young to be doing anything at all."

"Rumor holds, that Lord Yuan absentees himself from his office for long spans to tend to some of the more menial tasks himself, exspecially in the early hours when the sane people are sleeping." Yashin noted, his weary eyes mere slits as he studied Yuan's reaction.

Yuan didn't even look up from the stat report he was reading. He did spare a moment to flick an annoyed glare at Yashin, but than went back to pretended rapture with the text before him.

"That's not a surprise, Yuan doesn't need to sleep, so he generally was up all the time doing whatever." Rene shrugged. "Just keep him away from the kitchen, he can't cook to save his life."

"That explains the salty pasteries made this morning." Feruon chuckled.

"This sample of my handwriting is very impressive," Yuan noted, not rising to the banter that his Second and Medic were trying to coax him into indulging in. "This is the final draft?"

"Yes, Lord." Vryce nodded.

"It'll serve. I'll send it to Yggdrasil, as well as the images I've scanned from the ruined sections of our stronghold. Now that hat bit of buisness is settled, I'd like to bring forth something that has been on my mind for a while. It initially was a plan to find entrants for our order once we were in a position of strength, however the events caused by the last Armmaster have taken all hopes that we will ever been in a position of strength. At least anytime in the near future. It will be dangerous, perhaps damning, and persuing this activilty will lead to Cruxis scrutiny being placed upon this Ranch, for a time."

"There's also that note." Rene pointed out. "That decree of Yggdrasil's. We have to do something about that, too."

"Can we?" Yuan asked, setting aside the paperwork he looked from one comander to the other. "Dare we?"

"Do we have a choice?" Bruen growled.

"Yes," Yuan answered when no other seemed willing to. "Not acting is always a choice. Not desciding, not moving, those too, are choices."

"Death will weaken us more, hasty action can be revealing, we could be found." Feruon pointed out. "If we act, it must be with all due caution."

"Personally, the time for caution has passed. In war people die, our friends, our families, by staying we say we are willing to sacrifice them for this cause. If it's to use them, to train them and employ what goods or services they can render us to our need... even if the service leads to death... It's something that we all have to come to terms with."

All the subcomanders turned, looked at Rene with expressions ranging from horror, disgust, to understanding.

"A heavy price to ask for anyone, Rene." Yuan noted cooly. "It's a heavy sacrifice to demand."

"Better this than ignorance. Of knowing and not being able to do anything." Rene countrered, her green eyes cold, her demeaner stern. "And it's not a sacrifice, it's not demanded. It's what I ask of myself and what I freely give."

"I am not a military man." Yashin said, his long fingers twined together before him, he studied his knuckles, aware of the gazes that fell upon him. "I can't conduct a campain, a war, but I can neither sit back and do nothing either. Both paths, both choices, inaction and action come with thier own hells. Perhaps it is truely ignorance that makes me say this..." Spreading his hand, the half elf looked helplessly on his Lord. Still bloody browed and weakened by the torments inflicted upon him, Yuan would spend many months recovering from his own self inflicted hell. "We've all spent a time in our own hells, we've all seen and felt the lash of hatred, ignorance, intollerance. Knowing that Cruxis is the instigator of the continuation of this cycle, this hate that stands between half elf, elf, human, if I can do something in my life to try to stop it then I've done enough. If this path stands before me, no matter the risk, I'll trod it, knowing that though my blood denies me the path of heaven, my actions will not."

"I think I heard the world ending, that's more word than you've ever spoken before." Clavk noted, his absent teasing was as hollow sounding as his voice.

Standing, the engineer pushed away from the table, turned on his heel and walked to the door, at the foot of the portal, he paused.

"The Steel Falcons, and all the weapons made by my hand, are yours to command my Lord. I'll be in my office if you need to contact me, but I've said enough." The half elf's lips quirked into a partial smile. "For a month at least, eh Clavk?"

When he'd left, Rene nodded. "Good man."

"A different one." Clavk noted, wondering what had happened to the silent indecisive half elf who'd he befriended during the long march to Triet.

"Well I've nothing to say." So saying, Rene stood. "You'll have the plans and maps for the portals betwene Derris Kharlan and the worlds prepared for us next time, YUan?"

"Yes."

"Then if I may be excuse, I've got guard duty."

Yuan nodded, and Rene left.


	41. tasks

_A/N: To answer the questions i've gotten after last chapter, the Decree was the document that Yggdrasil wrote. It was first mentioned in chapter 24 and brought up from time to time in the following chapters. But the Drama between Z'eh's upheaval and Yuan's counter efforts to keep his office kinda put everyone's attention –even Yuan's- off of the "stop Cruxis mass genocide" project. Wrote this chapter to "Discovery" by the j-pop group BOA._

Chapter 41

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Groups and Tasks

"_We're not **stealing** from the other ranches, we're** borrowing**."_

Renegade Private, class soldier, Ranon

Silver locks flowed behind him. A cascade of molten metal streaked with glints of gold. Eyes closed to mere slits, he smiled, tasting the sweltering heat that rose from the ground via the gale that was sweeping down the mountain. The gale was a prelude, it howled amongst the rocks so far away, raced down the mountain, and when it hit the desert it would make the sands rise like some brown tide. It was dangerous to be here to witness it, but to taste the fire and wind in their dance was worth almost any risk.

His black vest was being nearly torn off his back by the building winds; he helped the somewhat gaudy garment slid off with the barest of shrugs. It whipped over his head, and through the building brown haze that was tainting the sky ahead it looked like some drunken condor in flight. Tumbling end over end, it's polished black buttons winked like eyes as if fluttered off. Saluting the garments passing with a mock salute, Yashin grinned. He jumped off the side of the Riehard chamber, using his wind magic to ease his fall. The steel plate and white aqua quartz studded dome was covered in runes of preservation and strength, but the speed of his fall blurred them beyond recognition.

As he fell, he had to admit that this was his favorite observation post. It was stupid yes, in his black uniform bandits could pick him off with a sniper with ease, but from here… From here the winds were their harshest and the view was it's best.

And the thrill added to the pleasure, there was that too.

X

Humming, Yashin let the scalding hot water fall over his swiftly pinking frame. The one benifit of the base's exotic construction was that water was always plentiful. Generators fueled by the residental fire magi, primrily by Rene, garenteed that where theree was heating needed there was heat. Red light streamed from the small box like structures, coursed through translucent polycarbonite tubes that were secreted away behind the steel scale patterning that covered all the walls. Watching the effect was bizzare, surreal. It was something like waching blood traverse through a vien, and so disturbing to Yashin that the engineer had insited that the relitivly new reihard chamber be plated like the rest of the base. Turning aroudn so that the steady stream of hot water would scour away the remains of the soap along his back, the half elf breathed deeply the moist yet hot fumes of the bathroom. Mixed with teh acidic undercurrent of cleaner, the fumes might make him light headed if he lingered over long. With a soft sigh, the half elf decided not to keep his visitor waiting any longer. He reached out and with a twist of a red nob killed the water. The faint hum of fire magic tube went dead as the demand for it was gone, only the water pipes clanged and clattered, but that was to be expected.

"So, we are paired up?" Yashin asked as he sliped out from the shower chamber. Not quite trusting his still wet hands to handle the bundle of papers that Rene had slipped under his bathroom door, he settled for asking an obvious question while he dried himself. While his hand were preoccupied with that mundane take his mind mulled over this not so mundane visit. The fact that the girl had decided to come to his secluded corner of the Ranch would have humored the half elf. It was the fact, cast in reality and action, that the girl had come in, searched his rooms, then slipped papers under the door and willingly talked to him despite the door between them that _worried_ Yashin. That and the fact that both their dignity would be somewhat compromised if the older half elf opened the door to revel the fact that he was now only naked from the waist up.

"We have to leave, pretty soon." Rene said. "We're supposed to read the report while we travel."

"Travel where?" Yashin asked; though Yuan's daughter would not see the gesture his eyebrow rose. Satisfied that the knot was secure to his makeshift "pants" he pulled another towel off the rack and ran it over his bare form.

"The port city Lady's Luck, we have to cut through Ossa and get a ship to take us to the other continent, we don't have time to wait around. Yuan wants us out by the hour."

In the act of drying his hair by ruffling the silver locks against a towel, Yashin made a croaking sound at the word "ship" and dropped the corse fabric.

"Are you alright in there? I thought I heard a mouse or something…"

"Nothing's wrong!" Yashin croaked. "It's just… why not use the Reihards?"

"Because Bryan, Clavk, and Bruen, are going to be attacking a Ranch caravan and they need the ships to carry back the people they save."

The door slammed open, and Yashin stepped out of the bathroom, eyes wide in shock.

"What did you just sa-"

"Oh Goddess…" Rene turned her face aside and Yashin blushed. "I did not need to see that!"

"You've never seen a man naked from the waist..." Pausing, he caught the towel that tried to come undone from his hasty dash out of his bathroom. He managed to fix it, before anything could be revieled, not that Rene would have saw anything as she had both eyes closed. Tightened the knot with a sharp twist the half elf sighed. "Yuan's really kept you sheltered, hasn't he?"

"Just put a shirt on, _please_."

X

"I'd almost think Yuan's trying to kill us." Bryan grumbled, swinging his crossbow bolt quiver over his back. He'd left his helmet in the armory, refusing to even pack it. Now he let his now shoulder length hair freely brush the back of his neck. He shook his head, thinking again on the vauge report that Yuan had tossed together. "There's almost no information on what we're facing, we don't even know what ranch's caravan we're intersecting."

Bruen and Clavk had both protested the move, calling it careless. But they both had short cropped hair. Or rather Bruen had shaved almost all of his off in a vain attempt to hide the fact it was greying and Clavk's favorite barber was a fighting knife. Still, vanity aside, Bryan found helmets stiffeling, the nerrowed range of vision made him edgy. Since he was the only one with a projectile weapon he had to be able to see to shoot, he had to be able to see the shots comming in, vision was more important than what little protection the helm offered.

Frankly, with the increased use of crossbows, armor was useless. A good marksmen with a powerful weapon could pierce any armor or shield. Unless it was enchanted of course, magic was the equalizer, and it was almost funny that he couldn't use it. Still the pouch of black and red quartz that he'd been given was enough to let him hold against a magi until Bruen or Clavk could get in the spell caster's face and pound it in for them.

"Equipment?"

"For us both?" Clavk asked.

"Yeah, go ahead, merge the lists if you want." Bryan said, counting the bolts for his crossbow for the fifth time.

"Chain mace, kite shield, knife, short sword, bastard sword, eight throwing hammers, six throwing knives, one nasty hooked knife for gutting things, some arros for that short bow you wanted us to carry, the smoke arrow set with composite riders bow, my chain mail, and a plate mail from the armory for Bruen, the boots of elvin speed for Bruen, three pairs of water spider boots..."

"Half my armory..." Bryan sighed mournfully.

"Shut up, boy. You said be prepared, and the area round Ishlliahn's got two ranches by it. We'll need the weapons, and so will the prisoners we take if we run into an army or something."

"Considering all the steel you two will be wearing, I doubt that my spider boots are going to save either one of you if we have to make a break for it over a stream."

Both elder half elves glared at the new armsmaster."

"Col kusi arsh mel?" Clavk quiered

Chuckling, understanding, Breun grinned at Clavk.

"Of yes, he's definatly that."

"What?" Bryan demanded. "Are you two talking about me?"

"Course." Bruen said, patting the younger man on the sholder, the made the last turn of hte spiral stair case, passed a wall that was lined with protective magic traps. It was sealed by the best method, there was no entry by any door or non-magic means. Almost lost in the twining runes of warding was a mundane elvish rune declairing "black stone chamber". "What else could we talk about?"

"Something serious, like the job, our mission."

"It's too simple to talk about." Clavk drawled, with a gauntleted hand the steel bound half elf tweaked the Armsmaster's lose hair. "The job, I mean. We just whack a few people upside the head, take the hostages, and fly off. Nothing could be simpler."

"Oh great, now you've jinxed it." Bryan moaned. "Now everything that's possible to go wrong will."

"Supersticious?" Clavk grinned, seeing a new line for his teasing.

"Worried?" Bruen asked, absently ribbing the Supplymaster to shut him up.

"Well someone has to be." Bryan grumbled. "Everyone else is all... Lord Yuan's sanctioned it, it's going to work, it can't fail."

"You'll outgrow it soon enough." Bruen assued him, the older half elf's bad foot dragging as he limped down every step.

"Outgrow what?"

"Worrying about whether of not everything will go perfectly. It doesn't have to, you see, you just have to make it out alive."

Before Bryan could say anything the door in front of them hissed open, and a flustered Second followed by a cool Yashin came out.

"The Steel Birds are ready to go, try not to crash them. Go straight down the long hall, it's the first door up ahead."

"The only door." Rene grumbled.

"Something wrong Second?" Clavk asked.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. Anyways, good luck."

Rene brushed past them without another word, and Yashin chuckled.

"She's something of a prude." He said by way of explaination.

Completely mystified, the half elven fighters looked at each other than shrugged. Second's and aero fanatic engineers, thier humor and thinking were far beyond the three warriors.

X

"I can't say, I'm liking this, or that I even agree." Vryce admited, pushing his glasses up while he read the losses that this excursion into paladin hood was going to cost the base. "It's rash, hot headed..."

"I am being both, deliberatly." Yuan explained, flipping through the pages detailing the losses thier actions were garnering them. When he was the large withdraw from the meanger stores of thier funds that Rene made he winced. But girls with gald were soon parted of funds, exspecially since part of her tasks was to get cloathing and the like for the new enteries of thier order. "We'll get by, as we did before."

"Money isn't going to rain from the skys, materials aren't comming in. Yggdrasil even said that he isn't going to give you a bent celin coin after your poor handling of this Ranch's first crisus."

"We'll make our own goods, trade, we'll get by."

"With who? The bandits, the dessert nomads, the trading outpost, Cruxis? All of those moves are so stupid, so niave..."

"With Tethe'alla." Yuan answered, ignoring the insults that the flustered Vryce made. "If we can secure one of those planiar gates, or make one of our own, we'll have complete control of a market. We can trickle things slowly, and when interest peaks, send merchants through the gates. We've already got a couple with a mercintile past wanting to do something more akin to what they were doing before the Silvers rounded them up. It'll give them an opportunity to work for thier profit and ours."

The device on his desk hummed, and the Seraph lifted it, flicked a switch, and Feruon's voice came to both men's hearing.

"Supplys are ready to go,medical center's scrubbed down, and the quarintine centers are set up."

"Excelent." Yuan smiled. "Get some rest Mes Feruon, you've done enough for now. I'll contact you things get... interesting."

"Yes sir."


	42. A successful mission

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 42

"A successful mission"

Feigned nonchalance was hard to uphold when the lives of those you were fond of were on the line. Yet he held it, and placed over it an icy façade of indifference over that as Yggdrasil walked besides him. Frowning at the skin of dust that had formed on the leg of his pants, the Seraph Lord wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Don't you clean this hovel, Yuan?"

"As time permits, my Lord."

Raising an eyebrow, Kratos said nothing, did not note or criticize the dust, dirt, or state of the overwork that was obvious on ever half elven worker that they passed. Perched on his shoulder, was a falcon of emerald green. The bird made an annoyed chirrup of disgust as he looked around. Out of the four of them, Noishe was the most animated.

But then Noishe was alive, they were all dead, so the Protozoan was allowed to be animated and alive.

Obviously, this wasn't allowed of the guards. When one yawned, Yggdrasil's frown became a scowl.

Having the Lord of Heaven, a _pissed_ Lord of Heaven, walk straight up to you, glaring bloody daggers… Well most men would have scattered, paled, or passed out from fright. Ranon only tilted his head back to better look at the approaching seraph, and raised an eyebrow.

Luckily for him -and the wall behind him- his helmet hid the gesture.

"Good morning, my Lord Yuan."

Yggdrasil seemed to swell with rage, he did not like being ignored. Seeing the obvious blow up on the horizon, Yuan caught the guard's eye and tilted his head to indicate Yggdrasil. Lip twitching in one corner, the half elf salute sharply, and stared blankly ahead.

"Hale, High Cardinal, Yggdrasil."

"You don't look me in the eye when you say that." Yggdrasil hissed.

"I was told in the briefing, by his Lordship, that you thought something like that was disrespectful." The guard said, turning his brown eyes so they met the icy blue of Mithos' head on. "But, if you want someone to look you in the eye, fine."

"Charming guard you have there." Kratos murmured.

"It's a trait of the Trietians." Yuan drawled. "Mithos, may we move on?"

"Not until you show me, right now, that you have some authority over these damned..."

"Fine." Brushing past Yggdrasil, Yuan approached the guard. Ranon had silently watched the exchange, and prompted by his lord's coming, he turned. The half elf's gloved hand never left it's place. It hovered a mere half inch from the hilt of his blade, the index finger absently caressed the weapons pommel. "Private Ranon, stand in attention."

The black clad guard did so by stiffening his stance a hair and dropping his hand so that his fingers were wrapped around the weapons' hilt. There was no flashy salute, no bow of servitude, but then Yuan never required that from his people. Pacing around the soldier, taking in the state of his glossy uniform -only marginally dimmed by the dust perhaps gained in some march outside-, the new steel helmet, Yuan nodded, turned to the other Seraph to gauge their reactions. Kratos was leaning against a wall, drumming his restless fingers against the steel wall. Noishe shifted his perch, chirped, and cocked his head to the side to show his confusion. Only Mithos seemed displeased… unsatisfied.

But then only Mithos was the one that needed to be pleased, or rather appeased. Clearly this show wasn't enough, the following of one order sufficient proof that Yuan was in control.

"Private Ranon, would you please detail the tasks you've completed so far today, and those that remain for you."

"You... want my schedule, my Lord?"

The soldier's incredulous tone made Yggdrasil growl. Amazing how a show of simple shock, amazement, and confusion should disgust the Lord of Heaven.

"Yes, that will be sufficient."

Frowning, Ranon reached up to scratch at his head, but the helmet deterred him. He dropped the hand then set it to hand limply from his hand while he gathered his thoughts. Flicking his gaze to Yggdrasil and back, the soldier finally set his eyes to his Lord, and no other.

"Upon rising at five hundredth hour I pick up my morning meal and set arrangements with kitchen to set aside rations for the scouting party I'll be leading later that day... At that point, of the members of my party aren't awake -as two weren't- I retrieve them, this process takes about a half an hour. Patrol commences at sixth hundred the hour until thirteen hundred. At which point I give my report to sub-commander Vryce. There after I go to the mess hall, arms practice then afterwards to spell practice. What time I have between my final training stint and my evening duty is my own. My current schedule for this week consists of early morning shifts as patrol leader, afternoon as the bases first station guard, and evenings dedicated to taking care of the various weapons within the armory. The night's task, or rather the non-martial task is dictated by past experience. I generally retire at the twenty first hundred hour."

"And, how much time do you generally have, between your last training session and your evening task?" Yuan asked.

"Hmm, how long does it take to bolt down a meal and run to the other side of the base, do you think?"

"Less than half an hour, giving some extra time for chewing." Yuan quipped, the false Desian smirked at that, and nodded.

"Sounds right, Sir."

"And are you dissatisfied, with the arrangements, within this Ranch?" Mithos asked, and the smile slid off of Ranon's face.

"No sir, I am not."

"Why? He treats you little better than a slave."

"I _was_ a slave." Ranon spat. "This isn't slavery."

Mithos growled at that, angered by the soldier's tone, the mortal's passion.

"Very good, Private Ranon. We will no longer detain you." Yuan said, offering a cool "Dismissed." to further spare the soldier more unwanted "Devine" attention.

"Thank you Lord Yuan. Good day to you." Ranon nodded to his Lord; to indicate that the blessings were to fall on Yuan alone then he turned on his heel and trotted off.

"You allow them to talk to you, like that." Mithos spat. "To treat you like you're akin to _them_."

Yuan shrugged, only uttered "I consider it a complement.", then continued down the hall, leaving the flustered Mithos behind.

X

Shimmering, gold, streaked with lines of violet, the portal sprung into majestic being. With a brilliant flash of light and pompous fanfare that caught on the nearby mountains, the "holy" beings appeared. The fanfare of their coming bounced back and forth amongst the jagged, earthen walls, triggering a mess of avalanches. The nearby animals either cried out in pain as they were pelted with rock, noisily spooked at the racket, or were ominously silent as earthen death took them.

"Trumpets, he used honest to gods trumpets on a mountain ran-"

Instead of countering with a hissed "shut up" Rene only punched her subordinate in the shoulder. Not taking her gaze from the phlantax of angels, Rene shook her head in awe. With only a few sweeps of their wings they'd be in position, and the slaughter wound commence. There was a sigh in the air, none of the angels even faltered despite having heard the noise. All clad in robes of moonlight, armor of purest marble, they glided through the heavens on swan white wings. Images of perfection, dictated by angelic write, perfection incarnate, the members of Cruxis were adored by the masses.

Of one man's perfection, a mad perfection, sheathed in pure white

Flecks of shimmering black shot across the sky. While invisible to the mortal eye the angels saw, and in numb servitude continued their flight...

So they fell, downed by gaping wounds that sizzled and burned. Denied thier mortality, they could not bleed, nor scream, so it was with surreal silence that they faded into the night. Their auras of white were at first speckled with bits of black, but as they descended, the wounds widened, and their essences unraveled into the dark.

When the two false Desian's went later to fetch the automatic crossbows weapons not even a feather was left.

X

"I value independence, cunning, intelligence, loyalty." Yuan explained, his sapphire eyes were like twin sheets of ice as he locked gazes with the image of Yggdrasil. Only a mere hour after concluding the tour of Yuan's base Yggdrasil was frantically opening communications to the various ranches, desperate for information. For upon returning to the holy city of Welgaia the Lord of Heaven had received a report that his group of assassination angels sent from Tethe'alla to Sylvarant had gone missing. "Also, I value records. I'll forward you the proper paperwork to give you indisputable proof that the none of my people were within a hundred leagues of your precious angel troops."

"You sound almost humored by the news." Yggdrasil snapped, and Yuan's lips remained still, despite the tickling around the corners that betrayed that they wanted to curl into a smile.

"Seeing you act even vaguely like your old self is humorous to me, my Lord." Yuan said as he drummed his fingers in his desk. His eyes narrowed a mere fraction as he considered the time piece behind his Lord then returned his gaze to Mithos' _adult_ form. "As it is, I need to go. I've a meeting with my sub-commanders, so if you'll excuse me."

Then, trying his damnedest not to smirk, the half elf flipped a switch and cut the transmition off. Another switch and button later, and he cut all the power to the holographic image and voice transmitter.

If this was how Mithos was acting when some of his angels were killed, well Yuan couldn't wait until he received the reports detailing the lost prisoners and murdered ranchers. Picking up the Aero-voice transmitter from his desk top, Yuan turned a knob, and heard the familiar hum of the device's mana consuming properties kick in.

"Send them in, I expect no interruptions for the rest of the day."

"Yes sir."

Less then ten minutes later, the came in. His subcommanders could lay claim to various states of exhaustion, all were coated with differing types of filth. Still they were victorious, and their wide smiles and glittered eyes told him this. He flashed them a grin, indicated the chairs he had sent into his private quarters. It was packed, tight, uncomfortable, but the heady brew of for once something going right... They ignored the discomfort, as did he shelf his unease with the multitude of mortals before him.

"Congratulations, for both securing our first batch of "prisoners" and the successful conclusion of the angel assassination attempt. I've designated an extended leave for all of you. You've earned it."

"It's called a vacation, Yuan." Rene corrected, her emerald eyes twinkling as they fixed on him.

There were snickers all around, as Yuan bowed his head to accept his mistake. All of his subcommanders were used to the subtle word games that Seraph and Second played on each other. The fact that Rene had finally got the upper hand on him was... well it was a first.

"Alright, you've all earned a vacation. One week's worth. You may leave the base if you want, though not the continent or this world without first coming to me to explain why. Fair enough?"

If the nods he received as answer were any indication, he was being far from fair. He was actually bordering on generous. That would be a first. With a nod, he dismissed them, and they promptly shuffled out. Held onto the militant mannerisms he'd drilled into them. The door hissed shut, and –by the sound of it- Yashin let out a whoop the second the door was shut.

"You should have seen it. It was amazing watching the mana conflict unfolding on a purely visual l-…"

"Talk normally, please." Vryce grumbled.

"He doesn't know what normal is." Rene explained with a weary sigh. "After traveling with him for a month I can say that he's beyond any form of assimilation into mundane society."

"Normal society is dull." Yashin retorted.

"So's sanity." Bruen chuckled.

"As if any of us are even remotely sane?" Bryan countered, and to that his elders laughed.

And in the quiet of his office, Yuan chuckled. Sanity, he decided with a smirk, was defiantly out of the picture. For all of them, him included. But if righteousness was insane, then it was a good insanity he supposed. The Seraph basked in the quiet that was not wholly silent, and secure in his power and the organization's goals he dared a smile.


	43. Rescuing may be required

_A/N: hmm... my e-mail's acting up, if anyone's sent me messages lately -in one case I know a reviewer/friend of mine has been trying to contact me- my e-mail seems to be down. I've complained to the hotmail trouble shoot area, hopefully it'll get fixed soon._

Defiance Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 43

Rescuing may be required

Golden, red, the colors of autumn, of winter's herald, filled the trees yet did not touch the leaves. Banners of autumn were wound about the smallest of branches. The fluttering of the long dangling slips of cloth was supposedly reminiscent of angel's wings flapping. Supposedly the flapping, the whisper of winds that fueled the flapping, was a good omen. The more the makeshift banners stirred, the more the angel's blessings would fall upon the world. Lifting her glass, the green haired girl smiled, made a mocking salute to ignorance. Sipping the wine, the half elf's gesture did not go unnoticed. Hostile eyes, from every stall -even from the stall she'd purchased her drink from- followed the gesture.

Hateful eyes, belonging to hateful humans, and the occasional hateful elf. Customers leaned in the shadows of the stalls, took refuge from her mere presence by avidly staring at the products before them, that or they set their malovent gazes her direction. They followed her, the silent, malice bent, audience. Yet they did nothing save stare.

They dared not, not when a mere detractor had fled her wraith already. She'd set the man's belt afire in a fit of pique. His insults had hit a sensitive point, and she'd decided to show him she wasn't the weak half elven wh-…

Shaking the words, and the anger they made bloom in her mind, she sighed. Yuan was right, tolerance in the face of such gross intolerance was hard.

Lifting her glass, she smirked as the reflection of the hostile crowd was tinted red. A pale sickly red, it was the trademark hue of Ozette's famed cherry bloom whine. It made her think of blood, and -oddly enough- angel feathers. With that thin smirk on her face, she tossed the weak liquor down in one pass.

X

They'd cleared away the ashes. The few foundation beams that he recalled having survived to defiantly jut out of the black soot were gone. But then considering the gross poverty of this place, anything even remotely useful was kept. He'd lived that way once too, so while the thought grieved him he understood. And in understanding, he forbade himself the right to comment. Taking a seat upon a knob some distance away, he -to the casual observer at least- stared at nothing. His azure eyes were locked on a spot where ash had been shifted, tossed away by the wind, and it's stain of tragedy washed away by the god's tears.

Or Goddess', perhaps Undine was indeed the true goddess of immortal tears.

Untouched by the world, uncaring how it wished to rile him with its petty anger and intolerance, the once half elf's eyes remained locked on the past, even as his body remained in the present.

X

Storming away from the latest insult, Rene took a deep breath and reminded herself for the hundredth time why she couldn't cast fire spells. It wasn't compassion; her store had been used up after the fiftieth insult. It wasn't fear of persecution, the ranch five miles from Ozette made sure that the humans -while discourteous- dared nothing overtly physical.

It was common sense, and the one damning fact that Yuan had drilled into their mind before they'd come here.

They were going to Ozette, the primary part of the city was in a tree. Fire and wood did not mix. Or rather they mixed _far_ too well.

"I can't believe I used to live here." Rene huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She glared impotently at the festivities behind her. Festivities that she was banned from due to the fact of her half elven blood. She faintly remembered being able to watch, at least when she was little. But then, she'd been the Chosen, now she was just a half elf. One of the diseased, the tainted, the war blooded.

"It startled me, as well."

Rene turned, hand sliding over the hilt of her knife. She relaxed the grip in a heartbeat, and forced her lips into a smile.

He'd scorned the whites and tans that his Second favored. The Seraph seemed intent on spending eternity decked out in a rather drab combination of red and black. The somber colors gave his natural pallor a unearthly touch. Yuan took in her posture with a raised eyebrow, then mined it, and mined her stare of disdain at the humans below them. A faint wind stirred, teased the split cape with a loose braiding, and toseled the blue hair that was -for once- not bound. Shaking his head more to force away the annoying hairs then deny his next words, the Seraph sighed.

"We've long battle, not all of it will give us wounds that we can see."

"But there are wounds all the same, and we'll get over them. Somehow, someway." She relaxed her hands, and tossed her head back defiantly. Yuan chuckled at the defiance-laden gesture, and favored her with a smile.

"I'd have never thought, one bit of defiance would have lead to this, did you?"

"No." Rene sniffed, and wondered why Yuan smelled of soot. "You haven't been burning people, have you?"

"Me?" The Seraph chortled, his eyes far too wide, far too innocent.

"Yes you!"

"Never my dear, I just went to visit an old friend."

"And you come back smelling of ash." Rrene tilted her head, her green eyes meeting his. Silence stretched between them and two millennia's worth of experience gave Yuan an edge. He held his poise, held his tongue, and it was Rene who folded first. The young half elf looked away with a grumble. "Some friend." She snapped.

"Yes, indeed, she was." Yuan drawled. Knowing his play of past tense and feminine identifier would only serve to confuse his Second. "And it was a _most_ satisfactory visit."

"I'm surprised you have any friends here." Rene sighed. "The place is so anti- half elf that I think you can see the wits slowly dribbling out of the ears of those who live here."

"Good thing I got you out of here as soon as I did. You might of wound up an incompetent dunce." The Seraph teased.

To that Rene glared and mockingly punched him in the shoulder.

And to that Yuan laughed, and smiled, and the sting of the hate around her lessened enough so that Rene could smile back.

X

It was almost unanimous, they wouldn't stay the night. Tensions that had been heated in the day did nothing to cool as the sun set. Taking in a breath of air that was -for once- not laiden with an undercurrent of dust... well it was exhilarating. Life thrummed like a heartbeat, she could taste it in the air, the over abundance of mana, the excess of life.

"So, one year after a Regeneration, the world feels like... like this."

"A half of a world." Yuan fell silent, considered the shadows that were eagerly stretching from branch to branch. clearing his throat, he corrected both Rene and himself with the uttered. "A half of _the_ world, perhaps. Our world. And I imagine that this world is all that matters at the moment."

"There are other wolrd's?" Rene asked, and in the dark, the building night, tucked away in the outskirts of the surreally large tree... Yuan remembered, and smiled for the remembering. He recalled the young child he'd taken under his wing. The one with a million questions, the one with sparkling green eyes.

"Supposedly one that mirrors yet distorts our own. It's an echo, carved of mana and deception, a reflection..."

She yawned, and Yuan chuckled. He recalled, and smiled for the recalling, of the times she'd fallen asleep. Suddenly he could clearly see the study, feel the hundred and one lifeless hairs of the carpet brushing his bare legs. Quietly he had set aside the book he had been reading from, shifted the lumbering child's form that she was more comfortable.

A woman's hand grasped his shoulder, gave him a gentle shake.

"Yuan, are you alright?"

He managed a thin smile, and pushed the familiar tide back. He blinked away the afterimages of remembrance, and nodded.

"Of course. It's not as if I am prone to getting ill."

"Even during monsoon season?"

He winced at the barb, then bared his teeth in a grin. "Have I ever mentioned how wonderful summer is?" The Seraph countered. "The heat is wondrous, the leaved turn into images the most prolific and talented goldsmith could never cast..."

"That's a low shot."

"Well," The Seraph shrugged. "-would it do me any good to say you started it?"

"No, it wouldn't"

The young woman's reply was positively frosty, and to it Yuan laughed, offered her a hand.

"Since we will be lingering in Tethe'alla for the next five days, perhaps you have some destination you'd like to see. Some place more... _open?_"

"Well, I suggested Ozette..." Rene grimaced, the name and it's animosity towards half elves left a bad taste in her mouth. Still, she put up a brave face of hope as she said "you pick a place". Yuan considered, both the girl and her suggestion. As always her eyes glimmered with mirth, with life, and for once he didn't envy her in the least for it. For he knew then and there that he was no longer dead. Restricted, yes, he'd admit to that as he felt the surge of her heartbeat through the touch. But not dead, never that. "After all, you know them all."

"Maps and text do not reveal the true flavor of a appropriate vacationing place." Yuan countered as he allowed his hands to clasp those of his Second's. "However, I have a few ideas in mind. One of them is to skip the tedious travel across the continent."

"You can teleport someone that far?"

"Never a better time than the present to find out." He said with a chuckle, his voice acquiring a faint echo as the power within him surged towards its full strength.

"They're going to have to send a rescue party to find us if -"

There was a flutter, a faint breeze wholly unnatural in it's origin. Rene's eyes narrowed, she opened her mouth to protest. Before she could form the first word there was a flash of light, the faint scent of summer breeze, and they faded away into the light and were lost.


	44. Prayer part one

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Prayer (part one)

Chapter 43

_A/N: Somewhat light, somewhat dark, I'm just panning through the subcommanders a few at a time. Any confusion this chpater will be explained in time(hopefully by next update)._

He crossed the breadth and width of a span. His eyes told him it was back, the green tint told him it was new. While he was incapable f understanding the subtle tactile hints that supported his observations, -the faint thrum of life, the beads of the moisture surging through the wooden behemoths cells that made a healing dew across the broken span- he trusted his eyes. Sapphire eyes distant, he murmured under his breath. Old words, ancient, forgotten by most of the world, fell from his lips. Rarely did he seek benediction, being one of the beings that by existing made a mockery of the divine, he hesitated to do so. He feared, _had_ feared, and now desperation and comprehension banished that fear.

After all, no longer uttering a selfish prayer. And if there were gods, true powerful gods worthy of mortal respect, they'd listen to an unselfish prayer. At least consider…

X

"You call this mercy?" Disgusted the child, a refugee from one of the ranches tossed his blade to the salle's steel floor in disgust. "You draw my blood, you beat me bloody, and for what? For _mercy_, that's your excuse?"

Picking up his blade, Bryan considered the disgruntled half elven child. The boy, seeing his words were having effect lifted his hand. Bryan noted the red dripping line, and nodded to acknowledge it. Yes, his weapon had done that, injuries happened during practice, he hardly was moved.

"It is mercy, after a kind." Bryan explained as he moved forward. He crossed the steel sheathed room until his steel tipped boot rested by the child's weapon. Never mind the boy was two years his senior, the half elf was a child, unblooded, untried. "A twisted mercy, but in this world, it's the only type there is."

"To hell with you, with _this_." The boy spat, turning on his heel he moved to storm from the sale.

"Would it be mercy to leave you untrained? Would it be mercy to leave you incapable of defending yourself? They have a term for that, in the ranches, and in the world at large. Fodder"

The child paused at the door, the back of his head lost in a mane of golden hair, only the tips of his pointed ears reveled his state. They looked to be tipped in red, colored in the familiar hue of rage, anger.

Chuckling heartlessly, Bryan sheathed his sword and kicked the child'sword. The weapon spun, it's dull wood hilt scrapped across the steel floor until it skided to a stop at the child's feet.

"Pick up your sword."

Whirling on his heel, the boy glared at the Armsmaster.

"Go to Hell."

"I was like you, once." Bryan admitted. "Thought I didn't need to learn how to fight. I didn't want to, and I still don't like it. Still, if it's me or them I decided it was going to be them. When I finally made up my mind, it was right about the time I lost everything. I cringed back when they came, I didn't fight, didn't know how."

The words, words of sympathy, understanding, they struck home. At least enough to make the child pause. And though older, the half elf was a child, somehow younger despite being older. Lips curling into a faint cynicle smile, the Armsmaster shook his head in wonder.

Once upon a time, Bryan had admired everyone above him. Reveared -no _worshiped_- his elders. Even as he envied, he'd envied them for thier wisdom, had spent a large bulk of his childhood like that. The cynical smile was directed at himself, the scorn aimed at a wasted childhood. It was lucky for him -and perhaps even more lucky for the unruly soldier- that the boy didn't turn around to see the expression.

He allowed some of his scorn to creep into his tone as he remembered. And in remembering he forsook his smile.

"I hesitated, and he died. My father died because of the potent mix of my cowardance and innaction. My sister died, my family forsook me, all because of my weakness. You want my weakness? You think being untrained is a mercy? That the world will be merciful to the helpless? Then you walk out of my salle and you never come back."

The silence was thick, charged, but with what emotion Bryan couldn't tell. He was wound up and in knots for having to relive his failures, but by the boy's sudden palor they both might of been in the same state. Then, with ponderous slowness, the child bent and picked up his weapon.

With a nod, Bryan pulled out his sword out of it's sheath and braced himself for the comming charge.

X

Eyes gleaming behind his thick lenses, the newest private technician considered the sketches made by his superior and senior. While in some organization seniority meant higher power, in this one it didn't. It was a startling change, a disturbing one, considering where he came from. In a world where the lowest of the low scrambled for rank, wisdom and age were synonyms. The older you were, the more power you had, and the more you were respected. Considering everything had order, and every person his place, it was disturbing to come into Sylvarant and find that the order that had been the foundation of his life was defunct.

He hadn't once said a word about his unsettlement, his unease, but on this morning Yashin had looked at him and said; "You'll get used to it." To his inquiry… Well, the older half elf had leveled him with a glare that made him shiver. It wasn't a "don't ask stupid questions glare" that the human scientist had leveled on him all the time, it was somehow both sympathetic and exasperated.

And it was the contradiction that made him shiver, as well as the man himself. The cold, impersonal, impassioned, yet warm half elf unsettled him. As well as the elder's abundance of forbidden knowledge. Of spells that could cause pain, even death. In Tethe'alla all half elf magi were hunted down. Any with an aptitude with the dangerous arcane, well they were stripped of their power, collars supplied by the elven nation of Hiemdall had the effect of muffling the spells of a magi fluent in one form of arcane manipulation.

Conflict, internal conflict, terms used to describe literature with an over inflated opinion of itself now had a new meaning. Power that was meant to come surging forth in predictable patterns was dammed. The opposing mana of the potential magi, complimented by an archaic rune, drained the power so that the wearer of the collar didn't experience a surge.

But the muffling of power leaked out into other ways. It was as if all senses had been smothered, and those enduring the hell of a magi drain collar… Depression and suicide were common to the collar wearers after a mere five years, hundreds of half elves destroyed themselves, and it nicely solved the problem of the Tethe'allan government had with keeping face. History might someday show them badly if they participated in a racial cleansing… but if half elves killed themselves… Other reasons besides government involvement could and would be found.

Rubbing his neck, he wondered what it would feel like, for his power to return to him. He'd been a minor earth mage, his power nearly dormant, so he didn't expect too much to happen. Still, it was nice, nice to again feel the faint thrum of life under his feet, to be able to taste and feel and thirst and saver such things once more…

Life was peaceful despite its strangeness. He could spend time pursuing subjects that he found fascinating, without a cloud of dread hovering over him. Questions such as would the humans were going to feed him today, no longer crossed his mind. And if the fare was bland, well, what of it? It was steady, and filling, and that had been more than he could say for most of his meals.

Opening his mouth, he decided to dare to question, and see what came of it.

"While your idea is a good one, have you considered the flow of mana?"

Yashin raised an eyebrow, his silver eyes fixed on him with unblinking scrutiny. Reaching up with a hand, the half elf tugged at the collar of his new black clothes. He'd never owned new garments before, even the last set of research grays had been a hand me down.

"This mana reducer's primary element is based upon wind mana, but with the decline of Sylvarant in the offing…"

"Earth mana, not wind will be in superabundance, not wind mana. But without the outlet of Gnome to alter it to a useful state, not even the most attuned can tap into it." Yashin frowned, considering his own explanation with a grimace. "We could alter it, so that it feeds off of green quartz."

"Lightning mana is complimented by wind, a powerful lightning magi could also fuel it, if we put in the proper alterations." The private offered meekly.

"That would mean doubling the mana compaction chamber, and would reduce its productivity." Yashin growled. "And that would also mean altering the opening so that it could accommodate a spell charge, rather than the slit and funnel design we'd need to collect raw _natural_ mana we'd need a shock pad of something non-conductive to electricity or wind enhancing, that way there wouldn't be a system overload…"

"Which scratches out the funnel design," the private tech admitted with a sigh.

"Lord Yuan won't be happy to hear about a delay, he's been nattering me all week to get something productive into his hands."

"Better something long viewed than something that will last a month." The private offered with a shrug. "After all, he's a half elf, isn't he? He should be used to looking far ahead."

To his words, Yashin jerked, and then his lips curled into a thin, twisted, smile.

"Oh yes, he's used to taking the long view, but not because he's a half elf."

Blinking, the private considered the strange expression on his superior's face, and frowned.

"He looks like a half elf to _me_." The young scholar grumbled, staring at the notes and wondering if instead of a funnel they should make a smoothed chamber, perhaps of yellow quartz. After all, earth didn't mix with wind and lightening and earth were hardly compliments… And the conflict theory; well if they released mana upon contact and the device could draw on the released energies. Slots would have to be made, to channel the natural mana of earth so that they wouldn't have to be relining the sides with yellow quartz every week. Occasionally, yes, they would have to extract the miniature mana generator from its hiding place, but the strain of weekly maintenance could possibly be avoided…

He said as much, and Yashin considered it with a chuckle.

"Lazy as an earth magi; they used to say that in Hiemdal." The engineer grumbled, as he leaned back into his chair and looked long and hard at his newest apprentice.

"Not lazy,_ practical_."

Making a noncommittal noise, the silver haired half elf waved his hand and a breeze swept the papers out of the Private's hand and carried them across the table. A moment of rummaging, then swapping the old papers for new fresh ones, Yashin summoned another breeze that neatly carried the virgin pages to the amused Private.

"Me, lazy, what's that then?"

"What's what, what's that, and when's then?" Yashin countered, then setting a few fresh pages aside for himself, the half elf smirked. "Let's delegate, shall we? I'll write the explanation to Lord Yuan as to why we _have_ to have another week to work this out, and you draw up a few plans that I can wave in his face."

"That's going to save us?"

"From Cruxis, no." Yashin admitted with a shrug. "No little generator is going to save us from them. But if I talk fast enough, and move quick enough, we might be saved from a Yuan given tounge lashing. And let me tell you, Jerves, Yuan's flashes of temper are a thousand times more dangerous than any little army of angels Yggdrasil can send out after us."

"Hunh... little army, a contradiction if I've ever hear-..." Blinking, the whole of what Yashin said sunk in, and he stared up at his superior in no little shock. Never had the subcommander called him by his name, not till this day, and they'd spent weeks working together. Not having been brave enough to insist that the strange half elf call him by his proper name, Jerves had let the lack of title -and warmth- pass. After all, they weren't required to like each other. Only to work together.

"Cat got your tongue?" Yashin teased, his silver eyes gleaming in the magi teck light.

"N.. no sir."

"Good, then if you'd be so kind as to _get_ to work rather than just _look_ busy, I'll be off."

"Off, where?" Jerves dared

"To report to his Lordship, of course. He's a prickly sort, needs all sorts of light handling." Yashin chuckled, then with a salute that couldn't be anything but mick, summoned a gale and departed with a flash of green light. Abandoned to a storm of paper and magic, the private technition gapped, not quite beliving that his superior had actually teleported. Teleportation was supposedly impossible! A paper smached him in the back of his head, and Jerves relized it was possible. It was also possible for superiors to be flighty, melodramatic, feather heads, as Yashin had proven himself with the unwaranted dramatics and mess he'd left behind.


	45. Prayer, part two

Review reply: Magus, here's a quote from an earlier chapter to clarify who supply master is.

_"Wait a durned minute-" Growled Clavk, head of the supply depo. He was a sturdy half blood. More human than elf, a large bovine man with dark liquid eyes. Practical, almost as wise and far seeing as Yuan, those traits had gotten him culled out of the militant branch of the Ranch and put to tasks that suited the development of his mind and the Ranches skimpy resources. If any man could be attributed to the Ranches new wealth it would have been Yuan who was first to point to Clavk and given the man all the credit._

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 45

Prayer, part two

"I can't see him being so immature."

Considering his words Rene tilted her head, and her unbound green locks fell behind her. She'd once considered cropping the mess of them back, of sporting a shorter head of hair. But after realizing that the impulse was more rooted in the lingering resentment than practicality, she settled for keeping her hair long. Only going through the ordeal of having Feruon deliver a trimming when the locks reached past her shoulders. If Vryce's eyes lingered in her longer than most she didn't notice, or didn't care. With the way the light was squeaking past the slit window and gleaming on the edge of his glasses, he wouldn't be too surprised if she didn't notice. He was almost all but blinded by the light himself, but since being half blind was natural with him, he didn't protest the glaring illumination.

"He rarely is immature, but he was curious, and he _did _want to find out."

"And he did, and told Yashin, then all Hell broken loose." Vryce said with a chuckle.

Rene grumbled at that, remembering the day long ordeal wherre Yashin had merily teleported from place to place leaving miniture whirlwinds behind him. It was only after Yuan had every subcommander contact him and Yashin teleported into the Seraph's office twice, that the Lord had done something about it.

Recalling lore used in the Kharlan war, Yuan had done some investigation, then set up a series charms in each room. Each steel piece, cunningly hid in a small slit in the walls - the slit made via swallow- had bore symbols of containment. Infused with just a drop of light mana, linked together by the will of an irked half elf magi, Yuan had secretly contacted each of his annoyed subcommanders with the news that Yashin's next "teleportation experiments" would be very entertaining to watch.

True to his word, they had been, Yashin had tried and tried, and nearly colapsed from the mana deprivation. The harried subcomanders -even Feruon- hadn't been very sympathetic. And as the gasping and cursing Yashin had been dragged off by an irate medical staff Yuan had cheerfully -if somewhat belatedly- informed Yashin that excessive shows of arcane powess were not to be permitted. It had been a writ in thier constitution, and since Yashin had been blatently ignoring that rule Yuan had taken steps.

The next _steps_, the Seraph had promised, would hurt a lot more.

Since then Yashin had been on his best behavior. Somewhat dispirited by the enforcement of what the wind magi considered a firvious rule. After a long session of plea barginning with Yuan, he'd taken his teleporting sprees outside the walls.

"It's under control now." Rene promised. Looking around Vryces' study she recalled how the normally cool and contained Vryce had lost his composure Looking around the room, with it's sheefs of neatly stacked papers, paper tags sticking out of pamphlets and books, and other light objects, Rene understood. one bit of breeze, even a great deal of motion, was enough to upset whole piles, and since everything in the Secretary's office was an important document... She wasn't surprised, not the least, when she remembered Yuan saying he had to physically pry Vryce's hands off of Yashin's throat. "The only odd thing he does is come to the front door to be let in after a teleport run."

"He's insane, not in a bad Z'eh kind of way, but he's insane."

Rene shrugged, that wasn't news to her.

Shirting about, Vryce leaned forward without seeming to intrude on Rene's personal space. The blue eyes behind thier shields of glass met hers, and he smiled.

"I know he didn't get it right the first time. No one ever does."

"No," Rene grumbled, "he didn't."

"So where'd you land?"

"A Tethe'alla archery range, outside the city walls of Maltokio. He was aiming for the main gate."

"So he missed." Vryce noted blandly, his eyes sparkled.

In response to his good humor, Rene let her lips curl up just a tiny but. "Yeah, by about five miles."

X

Bruen nodded, after listening to how Bryan had handled the young upstart soldier. The boy had come to promptly after the incident to report to his superior -and most senior- member of his sect. Armsmaster and Gaurdsmaster, they had to work together to keep things running smoothly, so Bruen listened and nodded. He was far too old to be chasing youngster's around the salle. Clavk, the Supplymaster, was also in attendance, and they looked at each other and then back to the youngerst member of what the newest trainiees were starting to call "The Lord's Council".

Reaching under his desk, Bruen pulled a small flask and three cups out from a secret drawer. He doubted even thier "lord" knew anything about it. Passing a glass to each of his guests -keeping one for himself- he gave the two visitors' glasses a generous dose of whisky before helping himself.

"You're not agonizing over what you did." Bruen said, filling his glass and taking a long draw. "Y'r better than you were."

Clavk nodded, took a long drink then set the cup aside. "While we appreciate the information youngin', and we'll pass it on t' Yuan... Why'd you come here to tell us? It's not a trouble situation, not a crisus, or a hint of another betrayer."

Bryan only shrugged, and took a sip. Wincing at the taste, the half elf set the cup down with a shudder.

"It's the rank, isn't it boy." Bruen said. "It cuts us off from the others, and it's heavy, eh?" The younger half elf winced at the vetren's chuckle. "You'll get used to it, if it hasn't broke you yet, it won't any time soon. Clavk, got the cards?"

"'Course"

"Then, cut the deck. You play poker, Bryan?"

"No..." The younger half elf admitted.

"Well, it's about time you learned." Clavk said, clapping the younger man on the shoulder.

X

One step, another, he sighed, tasting the coying mix of an impossible spring boquet. Staring through the milky white illuminesence, he noted the floor had resumed it's customary form. White stone, smoothed marble with miniscule lines etched upon it's surface. Lines, that despite the march of centuries and feet and torrent blood, had failed to errode. Dellusion, power, both those powerfull weapons had given the arcane patterns a find of pernamence. Supposedly when there was a match, they'd fade away and turn into nothing.

So too would the sins of Cruxis, so too would thier flaws, once there was a match all suffering would end...

Slowly Yuan folded his legs under him, absently spreading his cape behind him. Sapphire eyes locked upon the stability that was shrouded in immposibility, he drew in a deep breath and tasted crushed grass. Little surprise to that, for when he looked down once more, the stone was a field cuaght in twilight. Chuckling, he raised his gaze, and wondered if it was he who had drifted away from the Seed or was it the Seed that avoided him.

Once could spend eternity in this room, forever striving forward while the Seed and woman within it drifted away. Space was distorted here, a hundred miles he could run, striving for her embrace, for her touch, and only the ghostly caress of petals and flickering image of her face would be his reward. But take a step back, just one, and you were at the door.

So he hovered, between delusion and reality, he sat on the line between distortion and truth, and looked at his love. He looked at her, imagined the colors that she bore in life and grieved that in this false existance she was little more than a gray outline on white. Reaching outwith a hand, he did not strive to cross the spaceless eternity. Perhaps for not striving, he was permitted a caress. A silken light touch of flora that he could not feel but could see. Her image distorted the giant flower's petal scattered under his fingers into a thousand lesser. Contained in it's own whirlwind, the Great Seed broke apart and reformed less than a hands reach away. All he had to do was to stagger to his feet and leap and she would be his...

But he did not, he only smiled at the distance. That mocking span that was so close yet so far... So much like death. He stood then, and took a step back, and eternity and infinity folded about the Seed. His steel boots no longer crushed grass, no longer was the intoxicating brew of spring and life there to torment his nostrils. Only it's ghost, it's memory, _his_ memories, were his tormentors.

"Ever wise, my love. Forever wise to distance yourself from our madness." He murmurred as his ancient sapphire eyes gleamed with tears. "You would be proud of them. Those I've taken from Mithos' fold. Gods only know I am." He whiped at his eyes, whiped away the damning tears. He dared not weep, not in Welgaia of all places. "I've work to do, and Subcommanders to bully, as my Second so charmingly puts it." He laughed, and flashed her a smile. Perhaps it was like the smile that had so charmed her in life, he didn't know, he could no longer remember what that smile had been like. "Think of us love, and pray for us, please."

Jerking his head, he turned, and the door slid open. Dressed in his Cruxis uniform, Kratos stepped into the chamber of the Seed. Black eyes flicked to him, to Martel, and than back.

"Odd, seeing you here." Kratos murmurred.

There was tension in the mercenary, the ghost of thier old anger hung between the Seraphim. The wrong word, the wrong gesture, could easily resurect it. Yuan considered the human, his presence, and he was surprised. No, he was not surprised that Kratos would come by to visit Martel, though why that should fail to surprise Yuan... The blue haired Seraph shrugged, and brushed past the human. Primal, even in his devinity, the human drew in a deep breath, as if taking in a scent. Black eyes that had been drifting back to Martel locked onto him with a strange intensity.

"You've been around mortals, lately."

"I run... a facility." Yuan quipped. "A facility filled with half elves, I see them quite a bit."

"Let me clarify." Kratos crossed his arms over his chest, and looked over his shoulde to pin Yuan with his most somber stare. "You've been around a woman, lately. You reek of it."

Before leaving for Derris Kharlan, he'd briefed his Second as to where his destination was. He belatedly recalled her touch, her embrace, and her farewell. He smiled for the remembering and dismissed Kratos' glare. Let Kratos misunderstand if he wanted. To see a betrayal where there was none.

"So?"


	46. Glorious Return?

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 46

Glorious Return?

_A/N: Just a quick chapter/update... Some small foreshadowing here and direct ties to the last chapter._

"For the record, I'd like to say I was perfectly innocent before we started this conversation, now I am utterly traumatized."

Yuan's lips curled into a thin smile, and he chuckled.

"Considering you lived with a deranged bandit, a warped Seraph, and a host of displaced and half elves of dubious repute, for the bulk of your years I _highly_ doubt that innocence of yours."

Glaring, Rene crossed her arms and leaned heavily into his chair. She was in _his_ office, lounging in _his_ chair, and using _his_ visual aura and aero voice transfer device to receive his report from Derris Kharlan. Yuan frowned while Rene shuddered as she considered Kratos' assumption of their relationship. While she went through the throws of trauma he considered the tone of his thoughts, and realized that he was defiantly becoming more possessive. While that hadn't been a problem when Rene had been a child now that she was nearing adulthood it was cropping up. He'd have to think on the why of that later…

X

At fist Rene had expected it to be the quick "I'll steal a copy of the reports Kratos and Mithos give later today"… This exception, this, abnormality, certainly was not a welcome one.

"I feel sick."

That made Yuan jerk out of whatever thoughts were distracting him. His gaze riveted onto her rather than the space above her head. His lips pressed into a thin line, and though his image was somewhat translucent and his voice somewhat static marred, the steel in gaze and tone was not deluded in the slightest.

"Not on _my_ desk, you aren't."

She cracked a slight grin and forced a chuckle.

"Touchy touchy... You're being very thiefish today."

"Thief... fish?"

"Thief-ish." Rene corrected, slowing the pronunciation enough so that he could hear the correct emphasis.

"That's not a word." Yuan retorted.

She made a shooing gesture. Brushing aside Yuan's correction and presence with a wave of a hand and press of a button.

"Don't you da-."

"You mustn't be caught playing with Cruxis' technology now." Rene teased, putting on a tone so matriarchal that it would have put Feruon to shame. "I'll listen to you're report later, after you get back."

There was a click, and Yuan's image slowly faded. The last thing to fade away were those azure eyes, rimmed with a hint of steel gray. She could have sworn that she saw a glimmer of lightning in their depths. She smirked, and then dropped the smile when she was certain that he couldn't see. And a grimace took its place, a grimace and a shudder.

Leaning back into Yuan's chair she put a hand over her stomach and winced. It took effort, a few swallows, and some will, but the bitter taste in the back of her throat finally receded. She'd been teasing Yuan a little, but the banter and teasing that she held up as her brave front was slowly eroding. She was ill, more often than not. Only Yuan's ignorance of illness, Feruon's inability to tip Yuan off, and the Serpah's prolonged trip to Derris Kharlan kept the cat in the bag. But in a day or so Yuan would be back, and all hell would probably break loose when Feruon finally did give Yuan the long and detailed list of her symptoms.

Eyes sliding close, she sighed, and eventually the excess of acid born of her stress settled down. It would come back to haunt her later, it always did.

X

His return was heralded by dreary gray skys that threatened to turn into violent storms. While some might have associated his return with the change of weather there was no connection. Neither the storm, nor his familiarity with lightning mana, were at all connected. While he could -and had occasionally- summoned a storm, the searing headaches that the lightning flashes brought him were enough to denture him from making storm calling into a regular practice. Wings flaring, he scattered dust and sand upon landing at the front entrance of the ranch turned fortress. With a thought he banished his wings, and fell the last few inches rather than fly into the front door. A month ago he would have plowed into the door, indifferent as he'd have not caused himself of the door much harm. The new shadow born mana wards imbedded in the steel portal's frame made him cautious. A warning lightning bolt that licked the steel gray clouds above coupled with an ominous rumble made him both wince and spare a glance towards the heavens. Rain was definatly coming, and he wanted to be in before the water hit.

He instinctively reached to tap in the code in the keypad, but then remembered as his gloved hand fell over a rune etched in black silver. They had removed the device after the Z'eh fiasco; he'd have to let the stupid post by the door scan his mana signature... Tapping his boot against the earth, the dull chiming note of steel rapping earth, he rather impatiently waited. After a flash of light, the portal hissed open, and two new -and rather terrified looking- guards surged out of their hiding places. He gave them a look; the long unblinking Seraphim glare of death, which made them cringe back. But they didn't sheathe their weapons; at the continued show of hostility he frowned.

"I'd hardly use the front door in all of Cruxis were behind me." Yuan snapped, annoyed by his men's rudeness.

"I'm... sorry sir, but I need proof of your rank and sta-"

Torn between exasperation and laughter, the storm decided him.

"I'm you're _Lord_, you jackass. Close the damn door, there's a storm on my heels-"

"Whoever the hell you are, you clearly aren't decked out like one of _us_." Sneered one of the guards. Feeling safe and secure hiding behind his larger friend.

"I passed the mana signature reading." Yuan rasped. "And I'm telling you two idiots _once_. I _am_ Lord of this goddamned Ranch and you are _both_ precariously close to being court martia-"

"Precariously close? I'd have done it by now. That's me of course." Drawled a voice from the back. Staff in hand, the scholarly subcommander lazily strolled from out from his place of hiding in a side corridor. The glass sheathed eyes flicked to the men, and dismissed them, even as he gave orders. "Private Ushan, Private Kurt, first close the door as ordered, than apologize to Lord Yuan. My Lord, welcome back." Subcomander Vryce managed a small smile and nod for his lord. "I understand it is Rene who customarily greets you on your return, but she's in the medic's office."

Yuan met the gaze of his underling and Vryce dropped the smile.

"Yes, she's ill. But she's going to have to wait. As you can see, the flux of our numbers has lead to some insubordination problems. We're holding a meeting to deal with the problem before it... becomes another _incident_. I'm to brief you, and take Rene's place in the council until she's better. If you'd follow me, Sir?"


	47. Rene and Vryce

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 47

Rene and Vryce

Vryce had to admit, after both running to Yuan's office and delivering a detailed report covering every incident that had occurred in the ranch while running, he was winded. Clutching his side, he leaned against the wall in a hallway. All the while Yuan – unfazed, by run or report- tapped his foot waiting for the second mana signature reader to take his reading. Torn between jealousy at the Seraph's endurance and shame of his lack of, he gasped out the final bits that Yuan was probably waiting for.

"All I… know… Is that she's been complaining… of nausea… lately." Vryce gasped. "Doesn't'… seem to be… eating that much… She's been visiting… Feruon lately…"

The Seraph nodded. It was the only outward sign that he'd given Vryce that alluded that the Seraph had given his rambling monologue a bit of attention.

"Do you need me to go over anything else again before the mee-"

"You forget what I am. I never forget anything." Ice eyes flicked upon him, then settled upon the opening door, watching its ponderous progress with faintly veiled impatience. "You'll probably see Rene before I do. If so tell her I find great displeasure in her choice of replacement. Still, I suppose you'll have to serve, for one meeting."

Vryce stiffened at the insult, his lips pressed into a thin line as he clamped down on the urge to say something smart right back. Common sense leashed him in, and the blonde half elf merely gritted his teeth and held his peace.

X

"If that covers everything," Yuan said with a nod, "then you all are dismissed. If problems in your sector increase, inform me immediately Bryan."

The youngest of the council members gave a quick bow then darted out. First to enter, first to leave, and with more work than all the others. He was running all the new half elves gathered in the last raid through arms training. The surge of fifty new people to train, sort by skill, and the like was keeping the boy hopping day and night. Shaking his head in wonder, Vryce watched the young man go even as Bruen and Clavk were in the first stages of pushing their chairs back. The more sedate warriors left, and as they went a familiar whirlwind began to form.

Yuan cleared his throat, and Yashin wisely canceled the spell and walked out.

Reaching up with a hand, the Seraph rubbed his temples, then sighed. At that small sound he banished any outward signs of wariness and turned his chair to Feruon.

"Alright, you're lingering, which means Rene's condition must be more serious than you've let on. I am going to visit her in a moment, but I'd like to know what I'm walking into."

Coughing, the medic gave Vryce a long look. Taking the motion as a want for privacy, Vryce nodded, wished his Lord a good day, than slipped out of the office.

X

"You think... she's _what_." Yuan whispered, the shock of the pronouncement made his control falter. Small sparks of violet hue snapped around his fingertips. Everything metallic on his desk was also wreathed in a small storm of sparks. There was a faint smell of paper burning, but Yuan was in too much shock at Feruon's pronouncement to register the fact that his copy of Cruxis' report was burning.

"While prolonged cases of morning nausea can be symptoms of other... conditions..." Feruon wearily stepped back, common since had prompted her to abandon her chair after the Seraph's odd silence after her diagnosis. Now seeing the spark wreathed brow and blazing azure eyes she wondered if she shouldn't have just kept quiet. "I don't know for sure... She... when I told her what it might have been she said that it was impossible and refused any tests..."

"I'd think that she would know." Yuan rasped, small bolts of palest lavender snapped between his digits. "What right do you think you have to hold _that_ kind of accusation against her. Further more, what right do you have to threaten not only her honor, but mine, with such a... _statement_."

"There are always rumors, my lord." Feruon snapped. Steel put into her by the fact that Yuan was accusing her of lying. It was a roundabout accusation, but Feruon could read between the lines. She wasn't a fool or a coward, had she been Yuan would have discharged her from her post. "And with those two, there are many."

"With whom?" Yuan's voice rose to a shriek, his eyes normally cool and still seemed to have shattered. The man's customary icy facade had been battered down by a single blow to the heart... and the storm underneath was a terrifying vortex of madness.

Shaking, stepping back, the medic franticly shook her head.

"To hell with confidentiality." Yuan hissed. "You _will_ answer my question." Each step was silent; every motion of his hands sent small sparks to the floor. All was eerily quiet as he crossed the distance between himself and the medic. "I'm being civil, controlled." Yuan rasped. His teeth were clenched so tight the words came out a half growl. "I'm playing by protocol, and I'll even exercise my proper rights. As Lord, and more importantly as _parent_ _to the patient_, I've full rights to know what's happening. Now, I will ask one last time. With whom do rumors point would be the supposed father, if her condition is... as you've stated it to be."

Feruon managed one word, barely audible to even his ears, but it was enough. Shoving his way past the shaken woman, the Seraph stormed the halls of his ranch, and the wise heard the ominous rumble of the thunder that rolled through the halls as well as across the heavens and went into hiding.

X

"I wondered when Feruon was going to say something." Vryce noted blandly, ignoring the aura of power that his Lord was all but radiating. He'd had the luck of setting his desk away from the door, so that when it got blasted into his private office he wouldn't be buried under the smoking steel. Granted that wasn't the reason he'd moved his desk a few weeks ago. The door's hissing and draftiness had rubbed the secretary the wrong way, he'd tolerated it as long as he could, than remembering his rank he'd ordered his underlings to move the desk as far as they could from the portal. Raising his cup of coffee the half elf took a sip, then set the cup aside. Careful not to spill so much as a drop on the counter Cruxis proposal he had been penning before the power had gone out. "She's never been good at keeping her mouth shut, that one."

To his civil, cool, composure, some of the anger left Yuan. It wasn't the response of a passionate lover leaping to defend his love. Someone of that breed would have stood Yuan down, perhaps even challenged the Seraph for Rene's hand.

He'd also have died, in less than a minute. Direct confrontation with a Seraph was suicide at best. Direct confrontation of a father who was a Seraph... well instant death would have been a mercy, considering how possessive Yuan was of his charge.

"We're friends, she comes here sometimes to talk, that's it." Vrcye sighed. "She's a good girl, I'll give her that, but she's too young for me. Maybe in ten, twenty years..."

Yuan's eyes narrowed and Vryce laughed.

"Alright, maybe fifty years, I can wait that long if I need to. But you might want to consider _her_. She's not that patient, you know."

"I'll talk to her about it." Yuan growled. "She'll _be_ patient."

Vryce shrugged, and kept his doubts to himself. Taking a deep breath, Yuan dispelled his wings and slowly the violet spark storms around him slowed then died. Through gritted teeth, the Seraph took a spare box that served as a guest seat, and glared at the floor for a long moment. At last, after many false starts that left his mouth open but not words coming out, Yuan croaked.

"What does she come in here to talk about?"

Silence, when Yuan looked up Vryce was favoring his lord with a look part shock part amusement.

"So, she hasn't told you she comes here?"

"No, that's why Feruon's accusation had some weight... I thought she was still telling me everything."

"An adolescent, telling their parent _everything_?"

"So I was ignorant!" Yuan snapped, his hands clenching into fists. "Do _not_ rub it in."

Wisely Vryce held his peace, kept a return sally behind his teeth. In the quiet dark he fussed with his glasses. The only sounds were the ragged breathes that Yuan was taking as he struggled against his rage. At last, he seemed to win against the anger, and ice seemed to form over the storm. Taking his discarded poise and aloofness in hand one more the Seraph shifted in his makeshift chair until his pose made it seem less ridiculous.

"What can you tell me? Without breaking her trust?"

"That she's stressed, day in and out. She's the only one suitable for her task, she knows that, and she can't give some of her lesser tasks to the others because almost eighty percent of our force isn't trained. It's eating at her, I gave her some folk medicines to help with her stomach since she didn't want Feruon to get proof for the rumors she's been spreading..."

Yuan considered his head medic in a new light, his eyes turned to mere slits as he considered motive.

"Is that it?"

"It's all I'll say, for now." Vryce told him. Then with a raised brow he indicated the ruined door. "Fix that, on your way out." He added, as way of farewell.

Yuan grunted. Not exactly pleased with being ordered about by someone who was technically an underling. But the man was in the right, to make that order and to dismiss him.

"I'll send someone to fix it." Yuan growled, surging out of the "chair" with a startling feline grace. "If you'll excuse me, I've a Daughter to check up on, and a medic to… _talk_ to."

"Don't kill her." Vryce warned. "We don't have one person to replace her if she dies."

Stung, the Seraph paused in the ruined doorway. Rene could have said something like that, and been totally in the right. As was Vryce, the man was right to rebuke him.

"Who do you think I am?" Yuan growled. "Yggdrasil? If I were… things would have ended in a very different fashion." Shrugging, drawing his cloak closer to him as if to ward a chill, the Seraph looked upon nothing when he spoke again. "There would be bodies, not blasted doors."

"The fact that there were blasted doors…" Vryce murmured.

"Indicates, despite all _his_ efforts, I still have a temper." Yuan said, letting a small chuckle slide past his lips. "I'm still mortal. I'm not preserving just the good, subcommander, but the bad as well. The choice to make mistakes, to rise above them, and… to take out one's wraith in inanimate objects, I'm preserving all of that. Perhaps it's wrong, not to strive to mend the worlds, to fix all that's wrong with them. But absolute goodness is an idea born of mortal hubris. It's an impossibility. And one I _dare_ not strive for, because that's what he strove for... and he fell. This world has enough problems born of one overzealous Seraph, it doesn't need another clinging to the idea of absolute right, of perfection. Frankly, _thi_s perfection is hell, Gods only know what mine would be like."


	48. 48

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 48

Untitled

A/N: Any sugestions for the name of this short chap, I'd love to hear them.

In sleep, in what little gloom he could perceive, her features were distorted. Both young and old, the sight of her no longer brought an ache to his heart. Smiling, he smoothed down some of the long green locks spread about the pillow, teasingly twined a few strands together between his digits. She slept through the caresses of course; he'd not have wanted it any other way. The last of his anger and wounded pride had forsaken him during the long walk to the medical wing, and the ghost of it dissipated while he stood silent sentry over her slumber. Quietly he stood, so not to disturb her, spared a single glance back.

Only in sleep did she show her true age, the lines of pain and frusteration, the mars forced of maturity... They smoothed away only when she slept. Torn between pride and pain, he sighed queitly then forced both his decision and a small smile.

Considering what he was it was perhaps best to embrace both so he did so, and savored the sweet despite the bitter.

X

Nodding, he gave his permission for the next raid that he'd basically set up and planed all on his own. Ignoring Rene's look of shock at the news -she hadn't_ known_ there was to be a raid- and while he despitsed holding back such information he felt it needed. She had enough, with the training and distrebution of people and the new inflex of supplies.

"As of this moment on." He told his startled subcommanders. "I will handle most military matters, what I don't take will be covered by Guardsmaster Bruen and Armsmaster Bryan, whom I will be training to be serve as my replacements, should I be away and military action be needed. With these series of hit and run attacks agaisnt ranch caravans, they will experiance warfare, or as much of it was we can mustar with our limited resources. Untl thier trained, and even after, know I am the most experience in this task ladies and gentlemen. I've fought in wars, lead armies, and unless any of you would like to claim a surplus of persoinal experience on that and challenge my new position and duties, you can speak up right now."

His gaze went from one comander to the other, then finally settled on his Second. The girl's posture was rock still and stiff. While her continance was naturally pale the black rings under her eyes revieled her true state of exhasution. She was definatly going to protest. Raw pride and stuborness -which made for the bulk of her psyche- would not allow for anything else...

Like hell she was.

"Furthermore, this position is of such import that there are a few rules that I've put in place.." He pressed into the faltering quiet, neatly cutting off both Rene _and_ Bryan, who both had opened thier mouths as if to protest. Not wanting to hear yet another excuse from the young man that he wasn't capable of the task and not wanting to humiliate Rene infront of the others he went over all the requirments for the post he was taking over.

None of them were even close to the experience standard he'd set up. If nothing else the rule of five years in a true leadership setting with a long background on both the history and modern ways of militant life was a must. Only Bruen might have qualified for the experience part of it, physically the old man wasn't up to it. A quick glance out of the corner of his eye told him that the elder half elf was nodding. Probably agreeing with all the terms, which he damned well should have.

After all, the requirements was drawn from the stories of Bruen's life experience coupled with a Seraph's memories of a nearly forgotten war.

Yashin yawned as Yuan went on and on with what might have seen a insignificant point. It must have seemed pointless to a man who rarely grasped the subtlity of the fights between Seraph and Second. Council fighs, as a rule, were where father and daughter were at thier most subtle. Behind masks of cool composure they both fought and struggled, Yuan grapsing to take more control while Rene neatly slid the riens of power out of his grasp and tried to establish both powers and duties amongst the other subcomanders.

Even as she strove to protect him from breaking under these new duties he strove to shield her. Clavk, a little more rooted in the here and now than his friend watched the strange contests with a knowing smile. All the while the gist of what was really going on slid right over Bryan, Feruon, and Vryce's head.

Representatives chosen from the more passive, peace minded, half elves were to be sent to Exire next week. The Riehards were going to be gone for most of a month. That month would deprive the now promoted military subcommanders wioth means to directly attack the Desian caravans. They didn't dare ambush those that crossed Triet, that would lead to a surplus of "devine visits".

Some thing which all -newest false Desian, to the founders of the order- would not wish on anyone. Accidents could and would happen, someone could slip. And one mistake, one error... They'd all be slaughtered at best, inslaved and tortured at worse.

"Armmaster and I can focus on research, the history of war, and the like." Bruen said as way of soothing everyone's fears about what they could do without the Riehards. "Feruon, you and some of the youngin's could probably benifit from raiding the library on the subjects of snake venom. Just because no one's been stupid enough to be snake bit don't mean..." The medic nodded at that and silence fell while Bruen mentally groaped and struggled to find something safe to ask the silver haired half elf. "Yashin, you and your Second, how's that generator project going?"

The other subcommanders sent the Guardsmaster dire glances, asking Yashin how any project was going invited an hours long torrent of nearly useless information. After hearing his precious steel birds were being sent out -into a different world even- and he was forbidden to go along, the technition had slumped dispiretedly into his chair. He was such a picture of melodramatic dejection that Rene had to stop her lips from twitching as Yuan had adimently studied anything _but_ the subcomander.

Now, cheared to the point he beamed, Yashin hopped from his chair and pulled out small box that he'd set under the chair. In a remarkably short time, the subcommander's table was covered with a mess of diagrams, text, and a model that depicted the fore front of the base.

Without even showing a glare, though he probably felt one as well as a budding headache, Yuan kicked the Armsmaster's leg. The old half elf winced at the hit.

"You know... I _just_ remembered, I've something that I have to do." Rene said, before Yashin could even open his mouth and begin his torrent of explaination and theroy. "Immediatly." While tactful it was not, the Second sprung to her feet and was out of the room in a heartbeat.

"I've got training, some of the youngest aren't doing so well and I'm running some private lessons." Bryan said, pushing his chair back he cast Yuan a sympathetic smile, then he too was gone.

He tried his best to make his expression into a Kratos death glare. His gaze drifted amongst his remaining commanders and it was strong enough that they remained seated.

Mentally gathering his courage, Yuan relaxed his glare, and turned to face Yashin.

"While it's lamentable that Second Rene and Armsmaster Bryan are forced to be away by thier duty I can assure you that no one else here has any pressing buisness."

"Actual-" Feruon squeaked.

The woman's would be excuse ended in a squak of pain. She leveled a vile glare at the secretary who was also doubling up as recorder of the meeting's minutes. Ill fiegning his innocence, Vryce set his attention onto his notes and papers. Pulling an antique feather quill pen from it's ink well, the glass wearing half elf swiped the writing utensil's pointed tip across the rim of the clay pot. Satisfied that there would be a minimum of ink blots he set a reem of paper infront of him. At the secretary's nod, Yuan rose an eyebrow, and that was all the silver haired half elf needed as motivation to begin his lecture.

X

"I could be cross, you know, for abandoning me to our residental luni- I mean Head Technition." A familiar voice drawled even as she turned the door handle and stepped into her private quarters.

It had been a long day, and while the meeting had been tedious it was merciful in the fact that she'd been alowed to sit while it occured. Blinking, Rene pushed open the door, not quite beliving her ears. As she stepped in, she also had to wonder if her eyes had failed her. Half sitting, half laying, on her couch -the only furniture suitable for sitting, besides the bed that was- was Yuan. Eyes half closed, he watched her entrance, a small smile curling his lips. Having forsaken his customary extravagent noble attire for the sake of anmomity, he sported only a glossy black tunic, pants and vest. Looking over the uniform, studing the badge on the Seraph's shoulder, Rene's lips quirked a litte. Alright, so he had himself marked as one of the highest ranking guards in the ranch. Yuan wasn't exactly posing as a low ranking grunt ot get from one side of his base to the other unditected. He turned his head, to more closely watch her as she quielty closed the door behind her. A glint of steel told Rene it wasn't one of her white pillows that the Serpah was resting his head on.

"When you didn't come by after sunset, I'd figured you had forgotten." The Seraph yawned, mental weariness, more than physical making him mime exhaustion. It was all a fake of course, if he needed to Yuan would drop the weary half elf routine and snap into full awareness. His eyes would lose thier half glazed look, and the slouching of the man's frame -that was eatting up the bulk of her couch- could easily be abandoned.

As duty had slid them further and farther apart, both had at first been so consumed with work that they had failed to realize it. It was only after a series of near disasterous miscomunications that Yuan had firmly set his foot down. Rene and he were to get one day out of every seven with a lightened work load. He'd gone so far as to decree it to thier council, then neatly divide both his and Rene' task lists and distriburte them amongst the subcomanders. On that day they would meet for one meal. The meal of choice, following thier custom of days when they were lest hounded by work, had been dinner. Generally Rene would come to Yuan's office, she would eat and Yuan would either watch her eat, mime eating, or bravely tackle his half glass of water for the day.

As a rule, enless it was during a crisus situation, work was a forbidden topic. "Camp gossip" as Yuan termed it, was open game.

So Second kept Seraph informed of as much of the gossip as she could. The once half elf found most of the stories being circulated about his "true state" amongst the underlings the most amusing as of the moment, but Rene could hardly think of any new ones at the moment. There was a grey fog clouding her vision, and her legs wanted to do nothing more than buckle.

"And considering your lack of clever repartee you're more tired than I thought." Sliding out of the couch, he stood, and lead his weary Second to her couch. "Sit, I'll toss something together from your private store. Vryce also gave me some information on how to prepare your stomach medicines, something tells me you'll be needing them."

"So." Rene winced as the pain in her stomach flared. Yuan escorted her to the couch, his hand gently grasped her elbow. It was a centries old galant's custom. "You've been talking to Vryce?"

"And Feruon."

"I'm not-" Rene began, face flushing.

"I know." Lip's quirking into a half smile, Yuan chuckled. "Did you think I'd ever doubt? Some frivious jealous woman's word is nothing compared to yours."

"I heard the lightning Yuan, I'm not deaf."

Yuan shrugged, without the cape to rustle behind him the gesture did not seem as threatening as it usual did. But dressed in normal clothes, acting as a normal man might, Yuan barely seemed intimidating. His dangerous stature, his mask of power, was only that, a mask. A disguise which he held up to hold back an inquisitive world to the workings of his mind and heart. As the Seraph slipped Rene's kitchen -a small tiled corner sporting a small stove- she wondered how she'd never noticed it before.

The figure who'd always towered over her was perhaps only two inches taller than she was.


	49. 49

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 49

untitled

a_/n: chapter 49 and 50 were supposed to be the same chapter, allas time makes me have to cut it up in two. I'll try to have the rest of it up this weekend. KS_

"Time blurs, in the face of routine. It loses its coherence in pattern, and even then, the pattern that we comprehend is lost in the blur of time. It's vicious cycle. Only one outside can shatter the wheel."

From his place, his perch, atop the domed Reihard chamber, Yuan watched. His fingers absently caressed a ring. His ring was the sole remnant of an ancient time, its mate was lost to time. Cast in gold, sheathed in mana that had forged the world, it would endure through all of the ages. And in those ages, it would spend them in his hand, in his grasp. He'd never forsake it out of fear that to forsake the babble that had represented his love he would forsake _her_.

Keen eyes flicked from point to point. The line of tall half elves, the distant circles propped upon broken shattered stone. He traced the flights of the black tipped arrows, and nodded with approval as nine out of ten arrows hit.

"They're doing good." He noted, to his most unlikely companion.

"I suppose so." Yashin shrugged, not bothering to look up from his analysis of the sky. He had watched the exercise the first time that it had encroached on his "I'm hiding from my work on the roof of a steel plated dome in a dessert" time. Now, after seeing the archery exercises for the hundredth time –or so it had seemed- he was bored by it.

"They're ready." Yuan said to himself. Nodding, to agree to his own statement, the Seraph spent a few seconds basking in the pride of that simple announcement.

"Ready for what?" Yashin yawned. What others would have called crippling heat was only lulling him into a stupor. "And Rene said to keep an eye on you, when you ramble like that to yourself, you know."

"We're ready," Yuan said, choosing to answer the first question and ignore the statement that followed it. "-to begin our counter offensive."

"For the thousandth time, you know I don't understand your military m-" Yashin snapped, turning his head to better glare at his superior.

He turned only to see that he had addressed empty air.

X

"It's been giving us the creeps." Bryan admitted, though she couldn't see him, she could well imagine the shudder he gave. "All of us. He just talks to us, real quick, and then disappears."

"It's called teleporting." Yashin grumbled, his voice was slightly marred with static, but that was to be expected. The aero voice transmitters had a limited range. Any further than a mile away from the base and they broke down completely. "Sulking and teleporting. And if my hair weren't white, it would be by now. Six times Rene, six times he's just appeared in some chair, some spot where there wasn't anything, he talks, then goes. One of my poor aides thinks that we've got a ghost on base. And I don't think I've got any right to debase them of the notion."

"He's been acting strange lately, turning away some of the more combat bent ones we rescue." Feruon chimed in.

"And he's not explaining anything in the meetings, he's just been listening to us report and keeping his mouth shut." Bruen whined. Liking to be informed, the supply master was hating Yuan's mysterious lapse. Frowning, setting her elbows on her knees, she laced her fingers into a false chapel and stared into the darkness of her quarters. She'd had planed to go to sleep after getting a quick chat with Vryce squeezed in. She had from time to time fallen asleep while they talked, only to find the device still on come morning and it carrying the sounds of Vryce's snores. All the lights were dead; the only illumination was a magi-tech timepiece that had been embedded in the far wall. Even then, the soft blue light offered nothing to see, save a few inches of steel wall.

She'd turned on the device, and found that every subcommander in the base had been waiting for her nightly chats with Vryce to turn on their own devices.

It made her wonder, if they hadn't been quietly eavesdropping on their talks. The image of them sitting together, listening, Yashin offering his new invention of popcorn as a treat…

Shaking the image of the varied half elves leaning around a central device, snacking and listening in on their private talks, Rene shook her head. Despite her efforts the image stuck, and she resolved to find a safer way to communicate her private thoughts with Vryce. Perhaps if she altered the mana type the device ran on…

"Well?" Bryan grumbled, breaking the silence that had was stretched and broken the nerves of those metephorically present. "Are you going to talk to him or not?"

"I don't see why I have to, why don't all of you-" Rene grumbled; as by touch she found the folded edge of her blanket. She pushed them back with a hand, nd stared unseeing in the gloom, at her bed. Since she was sure that they couldn't see her, she did nothing to disguise the longing in her eyes. "-talk to him about this."

"We've tried, last meeting, he said he had something he needed to do, and left." Yashin reminded her.

Remembering that meeting, the Seraph's hurried retreat, Rene frowned. She shrugged off her jacket and kicked it away with a foot. sitting on the beds edge, she worked off her boots, and tossed them carelessly about the room. Let them land where they wanted to, the morning hunt for them was something of a custom for her.

"I'll talk to him." She promised. "Tomorrow."

"_Morning_." Vryce cut in. "Promptly, this feels important."

"Ominous is my word for it." Clavk put in glummly. "He's not brooding, we've all seen him in _that _mood before..."

"Alright, fine. Tomorrow morning, promptly, I promise. Now if you'd be so kind, I need to sleep."

"You know Rene, you normally aren't this crab-"

Reaching out, giving a nob on the worm magitech decvice a twist, she turned the aero voice transmitter _off_. Cutting off the rest of Bryan's complaint and the other subcomanders worried speculations.

X

"He might give me trouble, that's why I want you, and you." She pointed to Yuan's private guards. Twin half elves, whose names were the as much the same as thier features. Sharing the same name -and refusing to change it- they were both acustomed to being called "hey you" and "the other one" some said found it humerous. Perhaps they did, thier wide toothy smiles said as much.

After the Z'eh fiasco and the obvious rising tensious between the older original members of the organization and the newest... Yuan had grimly gone through the ranks of Bryan's most advanced swordsmen and magi warriors and picked four to serve him personally. Two for days, two for nights, as for the span between day and night... Yuan could take care of himself during that twilight time, and he wasn't going to give anyone a meaningless task.

Despite the rise of thier numbers there were too few. Too many tasks needed handeling, too many battles were there for them to fight. The bandits, nearly decimated by their allience with the Silvers were thriving in the desperation born by Sylvarant's decline. The Tethe'allan child had been sucsessful. Kratos' journey had -despite it's span of almost four years- had finally born bloody fruit. A child was dead, the mana was being delegated to Tethe'alla, and Sylvarant whithered.

The effects weren't felt, not yet. But every one of Yashin's mana conservative projects with his new Second Jerves, were being persued. Yuan had been pressing and pressing for more mana conservation, with the avid ferocity of a man seeing death around the corner... It was the only thing he was insitant about, even in his current mood of listlessness.

It should have scared Rene, being part of mana, being half in half out of it so to say. But it didn't bother her, in a few decades it would be Sylvarant's turn to strive for Martel's Blessing. And they would strive, and succed, and yet another child would be dead.

It was the same damned, eternal cyle. She sighed, and Yuan's guards looked to her, in askance.

"Nevermind, just come in, when he sees me and says 'I have something to do' one of you block the front door and the other block the back."

"Not lettin' 'im get away, mams?"

"No." Rene growled. "I'm not."


	50. Good Intentions

Defiance: Birth of the renegades

Chapter 50

A Path Paved in Good Intentions...

( Magus, I explained the teleportion thing, a little. Hope it helps)

_"I'm scared. Immortal, invulnerability, powers more than you can imagine... and in the dark of uncertainty, in the shadow of death of those I love... I quake." Kratos Aurion_

"I assure you." Azure eyes flicked to each of his guards and a wan smile curled his lips. "I have all the best intentions in the world. Despite my… seemingly whimsically façade, I am serious."

The twin guards, both armed with black steel maces, had taken their places at each door. Weapons resting in thick hands, the two scowled at the Seraph. Thier scarred, scruffy faces, coupled with obvious physical powess, left Yuan feeling a surge of somewhat mortal trepidation. He almost flinched in his seat, almost made a show of the fact that the dark mana weapons held in the hands of two competent warrior left him somewhat intimidated.

"You won't teleport?" Rene growled, and Yuan rose an eyebrow, picking up his graceful façade in a heartbeat.

"Really, Second, all this threatening and postering isn't necessary."

"Isn't it?" Rene grumbled,as she took her customary seat infront of his desk.

"And if you were trying to keep me from leaving, guards-"

"I'll have Yashin change every single ward in this base from anti-wind teleporting mana to anti-light."

"-Or no guards, you can't keep me. However," Yuan concluded with a grimace. "you have certianly learned how to threaten very well. Despite your somewhat melodramatic tendencies."

"I got my _'melodramatic tendencies'_ from my father."

"Oh really?" An eyebrow rose, as Yuan shifted into his chair. Ever sensitive, forever hypersensitive, yet numb. It was a strange combination which lead to an alien existance. His body would only send input that it wasn't 'quite' in the proper position. The fabric would press against him and his cloaths would respond with like. Unless the folds of his cloths fell onto his flesh in certian was it would be a distraction... And it would continue to do so until he perfectly meshed with the seats cushin's. So he shifted a bit, and Rene fought the urge to relax. The familerality, the somewhat sarcartic banter, even Yuan's presence, this was home. And if she wasn't careful, he could lull her into a sense of such ease that she would discount...

"Yes. However, my melodrama isn't what I came here to discuss."

"Then what do we need to discuss, that's so pressing that you're setting my own guards against me?"

"You." Rene leaned forward, the tone of her voice so somber that it froze Yuan mid squirm. "Are disturbing the subcommanders."

Rene managed not to groan, not to bow her head and find solace from the Seraph's look of perplextion. Baffled, Yuan cocked his head to the side, and considered his Second, the few stray locks that he never bothered to trim fell into his eyes. Absently he pushed them aside, tucked them behind his ear, but upon straingtening out of his slouch they fell back into place.

"You think that they consider my recent actions so... that you block all the exits and entrances of my private office..."

Yuan couldn't continue, couldn't seem to complete a thought.

"You're not acting... well... normal lately. And your recent policies, they seem almost a direct contrast to those that you've had us use in the begining." Rene hedged, hoping she wasn't going to have to be more blunt.

"Perhaps... the last meeting in Derris Kharlan has rattled my wits somewhat." Yuan said, blinking, only that. Still, it was the equiviulant to a non-Seraph else shaking thier head in bafflement. "Are the subcommanders so disturbed by my recent change of course that they are _afraid_ of me?"

Well, he said it first...

"Yes."

"If I were... well, I'm not." Yuna grumbled, his eyes cleared, looked away from whatever internal vista they had been focused on. He sighed, and shook his head. "Kratos finished his quest, the child was contained within the city in her life-less state. Shut away in a little closet if you really want to know. Mithos waited for my return to finish the ritual. Perhaps, it was after seeing it's conclusion, of feeling her... so close yet not _there_ that persuaded me.."

Rene shuddered. She had asked once what happened to the Chosens, what really happened during the Regeneration Journey. Keeping in mind that she was only fifteen upon asking, and while somewhat bloodied not as strong as an adult in such matters, Yuan had presented her with a somewhat edited version of the final rite. The final purging of the 'unclean' soul and the channels written upon the place where the soul had resided. Using the residue innocence of the child's soul, Mithos drew anchient sigals of binding and drawing that drew the long dead Martel's spirit to the vessel...

Incompatability, even the smallest bit of it, normally lead to immoltation of the body. Spontanious combustion, a case of natural spontanious combustion that was caused by the spiritual friction of Martel's sudden withdraw from the vessel...

It had happened so many times that Kratos, a human, had studied and understood as to why it had hppened. Yuan claimed that the once human Seraph only studied it to find a way to pervent it. Rene doubted that, humans were twisted things, obsessed with death and dying. She'd expect nothing more of Kratos, even from having been in the postion of not meeting him. She'd expect nothing less but a complete macabre fascination with death from a human, currently a Seraph or not.

"You question, they question, I should expect as much. As a matter of fact, I approve of such small defiances. I don't mind questions, and I ask one of my own before I answer all of your own. Why in the nine hells hasn't anyone else come up to me?"

"You've been quiet, moody." Rene shrugged, "They aren't comfortable asking something that might be a personal question."

"They should be, by now. How many years has it been, how many dangers have we faced?"

Taking in a quiet tally of her years, Rene counted them against those around her who now served Yuan.

"Not enough, not enough for them to be completely comfortable serving... something that's alien to them."

She expected anger, felt some of it herself. Yuan had a point, years aside they all had been saved by Yuan time and time again. While she could have forgiven the youngest, the newest, for not understanding the dangers that the Seraph faced everytime he went to Derris Kharlan, those in his select council shouldn't have been so dense. They knew, they understood. They'd been told in stark plain language...

"And am I still that, alien? Well, it's an improvment from _demon_ I suppose." Yuan said with a small sigh.

If surrender could be caught in a sigh, Yuan's was. But to what or who Yuan was surrendering too, Rene couldn't say.

"Gentlemen,-" Yuan's gaze did not stir, did not shift from Rene. "-unless you'd like to become the two newest member of our councils or would like to have your tongues stilled into pernament silence by way of spell, then you'd both best leave. Now."

Saluting sharply, both men trotted out of the room. Rene flushed, a little shamed for having spoke so bluntly of personal matters in front of Yuan's guards. Easily reading the thoughts behind her expressive eyes, Yuan managed a smile.

"They won't talk. Strength, silence, and wits were the prime requesits for the job." When they were gone, Yuan dropped his poise of strenght and confidence. A startling vulnerability shone in his eyes. Reaching across the table, Yuan smoothed the wild locks of green, gently pushed a few locks into her emerald hued eyes. Just as absently Rene pulled back a little, and pushed the hairs out of the way.

Looking down at his hands, as if unsure what to do with them now. The Seraph lay the long slender limbs upon the desk.

"It looks more dignified." He murmurred.

"I'd like to see, if that's alright with you. I still don't know how you manage."

"Practice."

Rene's lips quirked and Yuan tried to perk up. Just a little. But whatever hell he had so recently returned from must have been more trying than usual. The smile died, and became a thin frown, then that in turn became a grimace of pain.

"I had to do it, before I lost my nerve, Rene."

"Your nerve?"

Unhearing, Yuan continued. "I.. would you believve, two thousand years to life, almost immortal, and I am shaken? I shake everytime someone I care for is threatened. But I can't protect the world, my damned pragmaticism tells me that every day, even as hope tells me that I must try. I have to try, to save them, yet I can't. Not everyone is suited... not everyone can fight."

"They were suited." Rene protested quietly, reaching across the table she took one of his hands in her own. "Yet you turned them away."

Bowing his head, his voice dropped to a whisper.

"To save them. The failed Regeneration won't just effect magi, my child. It will effect crops, health... This world will wither for a span of fifty years, only then will Mithos allow this world to try the Regeneration Trial... Fifty years of famine, disease, starvation. Yet, we could gather a crop of a different sort. Dissention, hatred, he'll unleash the Desian's in full and use those things to paralyze those around us. I plan much the same."

He lifted his head, and looked surprised to see that she was holding his hand. He smiled, murmurred something in a tongue older than she and pulled his hand away.

"I'll release propaganda of a different sort. Those who I've scattered around Tethe'alla will be doing much the same thing. Even as they live, even as they struggle in a world that hates them, so too will those who've found salvation here and then left."

one half elf, a dozen, their mice to Yggdra-" Rene protested.

"Against Yggdrasil, yes, they are." Yuan agreed with a small chuckle. "Against a mess of lies, of thoughtlessness? Many are the holes in a flawed foundation, mer delina. And I plan to use them all."


	51. Decent: Bondage

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 51

Descent Part One: Bondage 

_A/N _**We're almost done now, this is one of the last chapters in my outline… I've been sick -I still am- but that's no excuse for lack of updates.**

**Magus, I don't mind the questions, however, in the future could you please e-mail or PM them to me? There are rules against answering reviewer responses in the story. I don't want some overzealous moderator to delete " Defiance" because I'm answering you in this format. As for your query… I don't think Yashin is that practical. Given a free head he'd probably get caught teleporting again. **

'_Fire crowned the streets. Black demons crept from the shadows and ignored natural bonds as they ran too and fro to prepare the bloody crown. Craft of corpses, embedded with bone, it was laid upon the broken Stair. And so He came, out of Suffering and Dark, He came, and placed the crown of Anarchy upon his own mad head._

_And angels, all impassive, looked upon the fall of Silver, the fall of light, and did not grieve as they decreed._

"_This end has come, born of Mortal sin."_

Quote from "Fall of Civilization", a historical document written by the late storyteller, Kerin Halfblood. Taken from the Cruxis Archive of Forbidden Lore.

It was a strange conclusion for a half month's journey. Needing a vacation, everyone seeing that she had needed one, Rene had been given leave. While unable to totally shirk her duties, the peaceful journey to the city of Silvaria had done something to sooth her nerves. The few false Desians in her company -those possessed of the most business sense- and Subcommander Bryan had made up her escort.

On that, Rene and Yuan had disagreed. First she had spent half a day to persuaded him _not_ to send half the base's best soldiers with her, in response to his defeat he had coolly deflected her arguments for taking Vryce with her instead of Bryan.

Thinking of Bryan, she was pleased that he hadn't come. Happy that he wasn't here to see _this_.

Stone could burn, if heated enough. Remembering that, as well as all her old lessons, she lifted a hand, and summoned flame. It leapt around her fingers, slithering like malovent snakes; the lines of fire came to her hand, and then surged from her palms. A crimson tide slammed into the shield of stone and battered it down. Molten rock, shards of earth, flew back towards the half elf who'd dared summoned an earthen shield against her. Wincing, more from her own fatigue than from the screams of the Desian pinned under a sheet of molten earth, she whirled. Banishing the fires with a thought, she reached over her shoulder and freed her bow from the straps over her back.

"Just an innocent little shopping trip, eh Bryan?"

"Who said that we _needed _to go to Silvaria for supplies?" The adolescent snapped, his voice breaking and twisting into an inelegant squeak as adult baritone and childish soprano melded. Holding his short sword in one hand, the package of anti-venom tonics and healing gels tucked under shoulder of the free arm.

"That would be Yuan." The green haired half elf snapped.

"Who said we were straining the economy of that stupid sea side town of…" Bryan's eyes shot to a nearby alley. Before Rene could turn he dropped the packets of medicine and drew his throwing knife. "Bloody Hell. Down!"

Rene ducked, and instinct told her to roll away from the shadow that blotted out the light around her. There was a scream of something cutting through the air where she'd been and from the corner of her eye she saw something green stagger back.

"What the hell?" Picking herself up from the earth, Rene tossed her head back so that her hair fell away from her eyes. She stared, and her eyes went wide as she registered the... _thing_ before her. It was green and yellow, the colors of rot and decay. Limbs too long to belong to a human, yet jointed and ending in something too akin to hands to be called anything else. The creature reached for them both with a weird jibbering howl rumbled out from it's chest. Bony protrusions that could have once been nails gleamed like talons in the day light.

And it was oblivious to the knife blade that was imbedded into its head. Oblivious to a mortal wound that would have slain a man, or a monster...

"Back up!" Rene snarled. Then reaching down she stroked the earth. In response to her touch fire spewed between the cracks in the pavement, licked through the lines of the cobblestones, than she and the monster were lost in an upwelling of earth and flame. A few moments passed, a few seconds in which the younger half elf could faintly register the sounds of those around him. Humans screaming, _deawn, deasi-erfn..._ Archaic words, ancient words for demon, fire bearing demons. Bells rang, the guard would be summoned, the streets would soon be dangerous.

Silvaria was an old city, it's people cherished the fact that it was the heart of Asguardian... and Sylvarant's civilization. And unannounced, unwarned, it seemed as if the black spear of the Desians, the _real_ Desians had been sent to rend that civilization to nothing. Tearing his gaze away from the blaze Rene had summoned, Bryan cursed softly as he realized why the light seemed to dim. Smoke, bloomed from the gathering ruin of the far side of the city.

"Rene, is it dead yet? We need to leave, _now_!"

The fires that the Second had summoned, shivered, and then went out. Unhurt, unburnt, Rene stood, a faint red aura hung about her. Then with a slowness that made Bryan want to scream, she staggered to her feet, the red light dimmed then was gone.

Pale, shaking, Rene opened eyes that she had closed. Whether to blot out the sight of the fires she had summoned, or the creature's final death throws as it cooked alive... Bryan shuddered at the thought, and once again thanked whatever real gods there were that he had not inherited such powers. That such responsibility, such duty, _wasn't_ his.

"We've got to go, Rene. Desians."

The last word was met with a hissed curse. Shaking off her reeve of hatred, she meet his gaze and managed a curt nodded.

The fire in her eyes, the hate in their depths, it made the fire she had summoned -fires that had blackened stone and left her foe little more than ashes- seem as nothing.

X

Blades out, kill all the tainted that you find.

Simplicity incarnate, yet difficulty due to the tenacity of the tainted. The audacity of the fleeing to evade, to scatter… Still, purity is the easiest path due to the unresisting trail cut from the slaying of conscious. Unresisting is the path set for an arrow, for there is a hollow line already carved. It is a crimson tunnel that leads unerringly to the steel's final destination.

From below, surging out of the darkness, came an army. Scattered by hate, by battle lust, they killed indiscriminately. They killed the tainted and untainted with impunity.

Having no orders on what to do with this situation they merely applied their previous orders to the current scenario. After all, the word of the Lord of Light could never be wrong, no matter how it was applied.

Behind them they left a trail of feathers, a rain of feathers, to spiral down from heaven and land in ever widening pools of crimson.

X

"You did _what_?" Yuan screamed, his poise of control, indifference, and his hard learned facade of servitude -lessons which Vryce, once an aide for some minor Lord, had been drilling into his head- abandoned.

"The people of Silvaria are impious." The Lord of Light said, no _pronounced_. "They've turned their backs to the Church, so the Church and its protections will turn from them."

"You swore..." Kratos rumbled, fire flashed in those abyss eyes. "You swore to spare the populace, you gave me leave to arrange a political assassination so that the church leaders would gain absolute authority..."

Shaking with fury, both at Yggdrasil's indifference to the massacre that was happening at this very moment and at Kratos' indifferent pronouncement that he would be part of an assassination... He was grateful that he was receiving such news in his base, in a place where he could actually do something about it. Clenching his hands into fists, he glared at the image of Yggdrasil, grateful that the magi-tech projector was so limited so that Yggdrasil could only see directly in front of him. And that Yashin had found a way to lock the device's visual sensors, so that Yggdrasil -though he could turn- would see nothing. This made it easy for him to keep his present subcommanders in the room, to hold an emergency assembly so that they could see and hear the enemy for the first time without fear of being caught. Similar precautions had been set for Kratos' image disk. The setting kept Yuan in the center of the enemy's sight, and it was a good thing that they could _only_ see him. His subcommanders were being open with their expressions of anger and disgust.

If impiety was an excuse for an attack such faintly veiled hate would have been excuse for a total massacre.

"I've people down there." Yuan hissed. "I sent them for a simple supply run, and you've all but..."

Yggdrasil pinned him with his most venomous glare, and in the face of such hate Yuan's voice faltered. The Lord of Light was threatening him with his gaze alone. Daring him to speak, for to speak would lead to immediate punishment. But he remembered. He _knew_ who was down there, and to hell with any punishments.

"You might as well have slaughtered _my_ people with your damned decree."

"All Desian's in the vicinity are to be eliminated. Cruxis' attack is simultaneous with a full scale attack planned by the Silvaria Ranch." Kratos explained. "Yuan, while I understand some racial loyalty you might be feeling they are _Desian's_. They aren't worth saving."

"If you think my people are the same as Ranch Master Cris'un the Bloody you're more an idiot than Yg-" Yuan began.

"Enough!" There was a hiss as the Eternal was formed out of nothing more than a thought. "Yuan, for your blasphemy-"

"Blasphemy!" The Seraph roared. "How is trying to save lives blasphemy? How is trying to take care of your own evil?"

"-_and_ for your rampant tongue." Yggdrasil continued coolly. "I curse you, and all who follow you. You are all bound to all territories you've marked as your own for two weeks time. Next time," Yggdarsil promised. "I will do worse."

Grimacing, Kratos looked away from them both, perhaps finding something fascinating to stare at from wherever his real location was. The show was startlingly mortal. Shockingly human, but then at the end of every Regeneration he had such lapses for a few years following each journey.

"If that is all, Lord Yggdrasil, I've some matters to attend to." The auburn haired Seraph said. Only that, but the look he cast Yuan had something of a promise to it.

"Do not interfere with what is happening, Kratos." Yggdrasil warned. "Or you will join Yuan in his punishment."

Silence fell, all was quiet, yet the friction of raw nerves and worry hummed in the back of Yuan's mind. Between the hatred that the Seraph felt for their "lord" and the hatred the half elves gathered felt for Cruxis it was a wonder the room didn't explode into arcane or mundane violence.

It was only the fact that the subcommanders knew that they couldn't reach Yggdrasil that held them in check. Only that, and if this dragged out any longer he could see a few of them willing to try to kill the Lord of Light anyways…

"If you're done with your customary posing and posturing, _my Lord_, I've business to attend." Kratos said, once more. As if by mere repetition he could break free from this meeting to get to whatever he felt he needed to do with greater haste.

"Go to it then." Yggdrasil snapped, and Kratos' image shimmered and was gone in a heartbeat. Then he turned to Yuan, the Seraph's storm hued eyes held boundless amusement. "I do hope that you've enough food, air, and water, to last the duration, Ranch Master Yuan Vore'sse." The Lord of Light drawled. "Because that barrier cuts both ways. Nothing gets in, nothing goes out. You might consider killing a few of _your_ _people_, so that the supplies can be stretched amongst those worthy of life."

And with that, Mithos Yggdrasil's image disappeared, leaving only the Seraph's parting chuckle behind.


	52. Decent: Time

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 52

_A/N: __Written to "Angel", by Within Temptation and "Asu e no Brilliant Road" by "Angelela._

Decent: Time...

Before he'd even stepped foot -proverbially of course, as he was on the wing- in Silvaria he was swarmed by angels. Growling, annoyed at Mithos' startling foresight of his intentions, he'd strived valiantly to avoid the witless angels. When that failed, he strove to dislodge them. He had twelve half elves to extract from the city, and by the sound of things, the sights of the angels and Desian's waging war in the city of Silver was enough to send it's inhabitants into insanity. There was riots, or rather had been. Riots and wars, all occurring in the same place, he shook his head, and both praised and cursed the smoke that obscured his vision. The sounds alone were more hellish than any head heard in any of his long years on the battlefield, he was loath to see the sights.

Guards fighting Desian's struck from behind by angels. Rejoicing Desian's cut down by waves of scalding hot light... Despite the smoke he could see such sights, in his mind.

As he argued with one of the sentient Angel Commanders, not quite daring to kill those who barred his path. He was not yet desperate enough -or crazed- to risk Mithos' wraith. Nothing, he knew, in this world or the next, was worth enough for him to openly defy Mithos and court another span of torture. Nothing ever would be.

So shackled by the mad whim of the Lord of Light, restricted by his inability to bare more, he struggled on with an air of impotent defiance. His goal was to impress his will upon those subordinate to him, to override the Lord of Heaven's will with his own .

It was little wonder, then, that he failed.

X

Pacing before the front doors of his ranch, he seemed a mad thing. Fury pounded though his soul, lightning had snapped from his fingers, at least at first. Rage had run it's crimson course. Hot blood he could not feel cooled with despair, as Yashin and Clavk, and all the others, reported failure after failure.

Even black onyx wasn't working, they'd tried that at first. Ordering Yuan away from the portal bound in violet hued luminescence they'd attacked it with crossbolts and swords. Spells had been used, the most powerful magi had worked in concert regardless of what alliance they held to a single element. Desperate, the unified front they had mounted, only earned them searing headaches for their efforts.

For all his efforts, Yuan had suffered from acute mana shortage, and had to be dragged away from the door on the first day. Kicking and screaming, was what he would have liked to have said, that they dragged him kicking and screaming... He would tell Rene that, when she returned, to salvage his pride. But the truth, that was being whispered amongst old and young members, senior and green... was that the drainage had been so bad he'd only managed a lukewarm whimper of pain and a few feeble squirms when the medics had come to gather him up.

It was then, his rage totally drained, his strength fading, that he came back to reality. From his bed he ordered the wind magi of his Ranch gathered and brought before him. His orders were simple, the weakest were to keep the air of the ranch circulating. While they couldn't summon winds from outside to keep the supply what the false Desian's would use from stagnating. Those powerful enough were given schedules and sections of the ranch to supply with new air.

"I don't care if you have to turn steel into air, or drain yourselves half dead every day. We're partially underground, with the thoroughness of this seal I can say that we are totally cut off from any type of oxygen. You have to supply it, or we'll all die."

"They say," One of the youngest, one rescued from one of the few caravans that Yuan had lead a raid against, half protested. "that you won't, sir."

"No, I won't, but I'll go catatonic. My body will shut down, my heart _will_ stop beating. I'd cease to function."

"So you'd die." The young man had said.

"No, I'd hover, between death and life until I was revived." Yuan corrected cooly. "Not _quite_ the same as death, but close enough, don't you think? Now, if there are any relevant questions you are dismissed, and someone send in the water magi."

He closed his eyes, and stared at the darkness behind them with eyes that never rested. And cursed his mind, his soul, his status, that denied him sleep.

On the third day the generators, those without natural ties outside the ranch, died. Those that had been powered by slivers of earth, by the caress of wind, those had died the first moment the barrier went up. It was a wonder that they had lasted as long as they did, all of Yashin's low power draining designs had shared one single limitation. They all had been reliant on minimal outside stimuli. Rather short sighted of him, but then having the world effectively end beyond one's front door hadn't been in the scenario's thought of during the device's brainstorm session. Those generators left inside that were totally self sufficient were designed to last long enough for someone to go outside and make repairs.

The fire magi had been gathered then, the lightning. Their tasks were to power the generators, and if that failed, to supply lumination in those halls that were most often traversed.

They had failed, it took fine control to fuel the generators, most of the younger and inexperienced ones had fried the generator's receptor capabilities learning that lesson. Now that Yashin's office was cut off, the canny young wizard had padded down each and every hall making crude replacements for the tools he'd use to fix the generators. If rumor held true, one whole hall had been cut off, and engineer and competent civilians clambered over the devices -and each other- like bugs over some fallen civilization trying to fix and increase the longevity the devices.

"All medics arcanely suitable will take shifts, providing light and tending to the wounded." Yuan rasped, his eyes half closed, the emptiness was back. He'd been on the patrols himself. Setting himself to a task that - despite it's simplicity- was almost beyond him. He had crawled back to the medic wing rather than to his office. He lay on a pallet normally set aside for the wounded. And again, lack of medicines were showing. One of their own had died, and Yuan had been set on his pallet. The body taken to some rarely used closet and incinerated. The ashes were gathered and offered to the wife. He'd have to talk of her, of course, in a few hours he'd dredge up the energy from somewhere and make the walk across the base to her quarters.

In a few hours...

"What time is it?" He rasped.

One of the medics was passing him by; she halted in whatever task she had set herself to, and knelt by him. She seemed ignorant, or perhaps was merely indifferent, to who he was.

"Sir, do you need something, water, food, to go to the privy?"

He wanted to shake his head, but that too was beyond him. Depression and mana deprivation were weighing down on his soul. Every spare second he'd been left to himself he planned and plotted, perhaps saved his people... but under that he knew. He hated the knowledge, that damning knowledge, of what _must _be going on. Both ignorant and knowing, he suffered and writhed from guilt and grief, and fear. Terrible horrible all consuming fear.

Distraction, while not physically able, he grasped her, her presence and it's blessed distraction. The words took unholy effort, but he managed them through a suddenly dry throat and swollen feeling tongue.

"What time is it?"

She paused, looked at him, and bit her lip. Her blue eyes wide with concern. Concern, or recognition? In this state, with it's omnipresent physical darkness and his near mad desperation, he wasn't sure which it was.

"We can't tell sir. With the strange shell and all, no one can tell a Martel blessed thing. But it's almost over, Sir, everything will be alright." She petted his head, reached through -what must be for her, but was not for him- impenetrable darkness to stroke his head. "I'll be back sir, in a jiff. You need water, and then you need to sleep. Goddess bless, you sound half dead! I'll bring one of the light magi and some water. I'll be by in a moment. You just rest."


	53. Decent: To Hell's Gates

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 53

Descent: Fall back…

_A/N: This is one of two chapters that made me want to amke this fic under the Mature rating. If anyone feels it's too intense for Teen drop me a line and I'll bump up the rating next time I log on. Warning, lots of gore, none of it implied, as all hell breaks out in the ruins of Silvaria._

It had been hard, bending desperation into action. So she'd applied an old formula of doubt and observation, when those two met most favorably, then and only then could changes be wrought. So changes she had wrought, and the blessed angels were soon despised. The Desian's grudgingly trusted the humans, and the humans barely tolerated the most hated of folk, but a truce was made.

All in the name of survival, such was the raw of miracles plumbed with abandon. Trust, grudging respect, it wasn't much long term, but for now it would serve. And it served well, with her as a coordinator they looked upon the holy slaughter and the devastation, they stared into the face of that destruction and struck back.

Granted, it wasn't much, a few angels tangled by net, an angle struck through the heart with a black quartz sword. It wasn't much, but it served, and it was a start.

Oblivious at first, now weary to the last, the angels of Cruxis wandered the debris of a fallen civilization with care. They dimmed their halos, they folded their wings to give the allusions of mortals wearing fanciful white capes. Yet, while cautious, they were not cautious enough. Loath to be clad in filth that was the human's norm, loath to be upon the ground that they –wing-ed blessed things they were- scorned, these little things dammed them. And they were cut down, cut down by bakers who'd seen their wives killed, their children butchered. They were tangled in nets an aged crippled old Izoolian fisherman had woven together, no, had been weaving when he'd heard his grandchildren's final screams. False and real Desian fought side by side, throwing impotent sorceries at the abomination against life and death, the wall to their backs overlooked by humans wielding hastily made bow and arrows and slings.

It had been this way for three days, and three nights, and the dawn of the fourth was coming around. Rubbing a weary hand, aching but not daring to sleep, one half elf ran a hand through her spring hued locks. She listened to the long –not needlessly so, unfortunate that- report and more or less summed up her scouts findings in a few words.

"The black quartz is running out, they'd just blasted the inn where we were holding our supplies and base…"

"Yes, Ranch-Mistress Rene." The Desian bowed, and Rene's lips quirked into a rare smile.

"How many times have I told you Verish, I'm not a ranch mis-"

"I've lost count." The Desian cut in with a shrug, his black eyes sparkling with humor. Typical Desian, he liked getting under her skin. The humor left his eyes, and he sighed. "Host- er human Gregory Clayfist is dead, Mistress. Killed in the blast. We could spare no one to retrieve the old man's body."

Rene nodded, and bit he lip.

"They're advancing." It was more a statement than question. She knew a grid search pattern when she saw it, and she had been seeing it for the past few days over the skies of fallen Silvaria. She'd also noted the violet glow, the unreal light that meant Origin's influence.

Thank whatever Gods there were that Bryan was out before Mithos had sealed them off. With a few of there own and a few of the others Bryan could make it to Triet, to home... That had been her troops first and only successful mission to date.

"Yes, Mistress. Lead by the blue winged demon, Derris Fa Sith."

So Mithos had cajoled Kratos into this, had forced the Seraphim into coming down at last. Rene had wondered what had taken Mithos this long to finish them off.

The bastard was probably paralyzed by laughter, or perhaps shock, or both. That was always a possibility. The idea of a rag tag band of humans, half elfs, almost all civilians, daring to challenge him… She chuckled at the thought herself, and shook her head.

"How far to arms district?"

Arms district, the only discernable district left standing. A place with buildings to duck into and ruined statuary to duck behind… It was the only defensible place left in this hell pit. She knew it, as did the Desian who'd introduced himself to her as Verish.

The Desian shrugged, hearing his death statement with a small mocking grin.

"Not near enough, Mistress. Pull back and regroup, My Lady?"

She nodded, and he chuckled.

"Been a pleasure, Mistress, I'd have to say you're the nicest bitch I've ever met."

And with that he was off, to give the living their final orders. In a few minuetes everyone would know which way to run, and how they were going to die. Drawing her sword, a weaposn stainred black with the blood of angels, Rene ran. Leading the near pacnicked withdraw. Voices rose around her, perhaps giving hte angels pause, perhaps not.

"To sanctuary! To sanctuary!"

To death.

X

You killed my family!" Screaming, the human lifted his lone remaining weapon. With a blink of an eye flame met wood. Wood burned, and the human who had been holding a rolling pan as a bludgen looked dumbfounded at his weapons' loss. Desperation filled those empty eyes, and he attacked with his fists, or meant to. One pass of the Flamberge had eatten the weapon to another, and the lazy counterstroke sliced into his gut. With the force of angelic srength behind it, the blade did not get tangeled in orgin, in bone, it passed through living matter as if it were paper.

The man fell in pieces, literally, at the angel's feet. Unmoved, he stepped over the carrion, his wings absentl flicking off the blood of thier hellish birth.

The angles at his side spread out, closed off the street, and the few remaining humans and half elves lifted thier weapons, and backed up. Soon their backs would be against stone, against walls, a fw grimmly spent the last moents of thier entrapment seeking higher ground, to by themselves more time in which to live, in which to kill or cause pain to the angels before them. Pearched upon crumbled walls, pinned by the flanks of shattered buildings, they looked ahead, looked upon thier executioners, shaking hands gripping weapons, eyes and lips pressed into thin lines of hate.

"Spread out until you touch only by wing tip to wings tip. Advance and kill all living beings you encounter." Kratos murmurred, his tone he used on the angels reminicent of one that a adult uses on a rather dense children.

The angels spread out with ponderous slowlness, and Kratos had to repeat his directions more than once. This gave the defenders an unexpected edge.

"Aim for the wings, break them! Use rocks, arrows, they can't function if you take out the wings!" Rene barked.

Derris Fa Sith's black eyes flicked onto her, considered her, than dismissed her all in once glance.

Rocks flew, a few arrows, Rene aimed and hit two of the lesser angels. As per to her orders they left the Seraphim alone. If somehow they survived the assault by the force of ten angels then Kratos would be thier executioner. They all knew that, and weren't going to waste thier lives attacking the Angel of Death. Soundlessly one of the angels sank to his knees, Rene's black quartz tiped arrow imbedded in his Cruxis Crystal. He died without screaming, without thrashing, died in a way that only the soulless could die. Indifferent to thier loss, the angels hesitated as at the fall of thier own broke thier ranks. Kratos barked some corrective orders, and they advanced again, closing the holes in thier ranks. But now the defenders had an edge, if they attacked and even slowed the angels they could stop the whole unit from attacking.

There were other problems too for the dimwitted angels. Mice, rats, lesser animals that had seeked sanctuary in the refuse of the defenders hiding place surged out and scrambled towards the light. Perhaps thinking only of finding sanctuary, perhaps for some other primal reason, they formed thier own line and charged in all directions. Angels that had been focusing magics were distracted, for thier orders were to kill all living beings, and though lowly was the rat, it still qualified.

"My Gods, what a bunch of idio- Leave the rats _alone_ you..."

A farmer's wife, the daughter of a tradesman that had merely been visiting Silvaria swung her deceased husbands scythe, and decapitated one of the angels who had ignored the rats and had ponderously been climbing up a blasted mound of brick and mortar to reach her. The angels' wings had been broken by an urchin's rock, the dragged behind him, a silent testiment to two lucky throws the boy had managed to get off before being impaled on an enemy arrow.

The archer was down, two arrows in the eyes, and while not fatal -angels only truely died after thier cruxis cystals were destroyed- the wounds would take some time to heal.

"For the love of Origin, pull back, all of you."

Kratos looked from angel to angle, between the wounded and dead he had two of the ten angels he'd started with only two were whole. And the only reason for that was because they were still trying to kill the few mice in the alley.

"Retrieve the dead." Kratos barked at the relitivly whole angels. Drawing the sword he'd slammed into its sheathe in frusteration, the Seraph considered the remains of his scattered opponets. He'd make quick work of them, of that he was sure. Nodding, his gave flicked upon the most isolated, Verish was still alive and kicking, perched upon a mound of half rotted wood that had once been a fruit cart. A dead angel lay twitching at his feet. Seeing the look, and its promise of death, the Desian laughed.

"I can't beleive my people even considered Cruxis wrth anything. You're all just a bunch of back stabbing bastards."

Easily leaping down from his pearch, the Desian strolled to the center of the alley, giving Kratos a clear shot, a clear path to charge. Leaning forward, he sneared at the angel, and his crimson splattered uniform.

"Come on old man, what you waiting for? An invitation? I'll send you all to hell with me!"

"So you try, like the thousands of fools who once lived here." Kratos whispered, then the Seraph obliged with a charge.

What plans he must of had, died in the first pass. He'd expected the humans to turn or at least ignore thier desian ally. A rock glanced off his shoulder the second he closed with the brash young half elf. With a flap of his wings he forced the half breed back and turned in time to be struck by another stone. Having pulled out a piece of black quartz from his bag of stones, the child looked on grimly while Kratos' burned under teh contact of his anti-thesis. Half of his face burned under mere contact with the stine, with a cry he wrenched the rock from his fleash. Roaring in outrage, he staggered back, only to get the half elf's sword in his vitals. Instinctivly he stiffened, feeling the sword peirce his fleash. But he remembered the weapon was merely steel. Snearing the Seraph kicked his enemy back, breaking ruibs with the raw force of his attack, he thrust blindly with his flambege, and an arrow from Rene's bow caused the weapon to dip too low and strike leg rather than vitals.

Had it been any other man that strike would have lead to frusteration. Anyone else would have to wrench th blade out nd strike again. But beign a Seraph, despite it's many disadvantages, did have it's compensations. Dragging the weapon, instinct guilded him as he draged it up and in, shearing through blood, bone, and vitals indiscriminatly. Kicking the twitching carrion from his weapon, he did not linger to watch the corpse smolder, rather he teleported, barely avoiding the barrage of rock and arrows that came from those scattered on thier perches. Death reappeared in the heart of fighters, and cut a blazing bleeding path through them, then with a flap of those powerful wings shot to the heavens. Folding his wings, he landed amongst a pair of children that had doggely refused to be seperated, and somehow through wit and luck had survived the first attacks of Cruxis.

Together they had survived, together they died, as Kratos slashed both thier throats with a low swing of his red sword.

"Bastard!" Rene howled, she fired a shot, and missed the Seraph's left primary wing by a hairs breadth.

Lightly landing on the earth, he passed through the ranks of fighters -all dying- and hesitated long enough only to kill on who dared try to rise, then he dissapeared once more.

A scream from the back told them he was now picking off those who'd formed ranks in the back.

"Soulless son of a b-" Light formed above her. Blinded by tears and light she fired unseeingly into the lights heart, and missed. The flat of the flamberge smashed into her helm, and her legs buckled mid piviot. Sliding on scree made of brick and stone, she slid down from her perch of blasted wall and only her helmet savd her frmo having her brains smashed to a pulp. Dazed, she looked up, vaugly aware of his footsetps s he prowled down the hill, towards her. Shaking, she pulled a knife from her belt, held it up in feeble defense. Nausious, weak, she was vaugly aware that a breeze that brought to her the sounds of death the scents of dying should have stirred her hair. Save that something wet and sticky held it down.

Looking down at her, he paused, froze, black soulless eyes went wide in shock as a vulnerability too soft and human touched the Seraph's face. He uttered one word, and that word followed her into the darkness as unconciousness dragged her down into the abyss.

"Martel..."


	54. Decent: When all that left is hope

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 54

Descent: When all that's left is Hope

_A/N: This is the semi-final chapter, well minus the epilogue. I finally decided on the dark ending –if I hadn't Rene would have died last chapter-. Again, as with the previous chapter, if this is too dark for Teen someone drop me a line and I'll bump up a rank. Written to Nickleback's "Savin' me" and Evenessence's "Lies"._

They took turns, caring for her, and despite her hate for the man's cold bloodedness, Kratos Aurion was preferable of the two. She shivered, for she was as naked as the day she had been born. Her black Desian garb had been ruthlessly stripped away and white robes had been let in their wake. Folded at the foot of her bed, almost as a silent apology, how sh had blushed to learn that Kratos had been the one to strip her naked, to realize that a man's hands had touched her. The shame of that had been enough that when he'd first come in she had cringed from him, like a frightened animal. As if aware of her thoughts he had merely left some sandwiches and a glass of water by the door and departed with nary a word.

That had been the first time he'd come in, the first time Yggdrasil had entered… She shivered, remembering how he'd done something, she wasn't sure what, but he'd somehow gotten into her head and forced her to put on the robe.

"No one's bothered you, hurt you?" He'd asked. Wearing a child's form, using a child's voice, he had enough of both about him to make her lower her guard.

She had shook her head, her body quaked as she could sense his power. It was like standing next to a hurricane, a volcano… Violate, destructive, and aware of just how dangerous he was. He used the power with abandon, making light conversation as his twisted thoughts pried around the edges of her brain like the wizzened feet of a spider. Satisfied, he'd taken his leave with a smile and patted her knee in a familiar gesture on his way out.

"No one will hurt you here, Martel. I promise."

And then he was gone, leaving her feeling utterly violated.

When Kratos had entered again, she didn't even lift her head. He cleared his throat, and at that sound –so much like Yuan's age old habit of snapping her out of a day dream save _he_ would have gently shook her shoulder- she had come too.

"You need to eat." In one hand he held the plate of untouched food. When had he come again, to fetch the scraps of her last meal and supply her with more? In this timeless place, she couldn't remember. Looking into his face, recalling those he'd killed, and those he must of killed after she had scumbled to unconsciousness, she turned her head away.

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat." He said softly as he set the plate upon the edge of the elevated Mizuhoin pallet that served at her bed. "You'll need to be at your full strength, for tomorrow."

"You can take your food and shove it_ Derris Fa Si_-"

"I'll make you eat, the exact way Mithos made you put on the clothes." Kratos warned her quietly.

It was then, as he talked that she became aware of the fact that the obscuring length of hair covered not the left half, but the right half of his face. Seeing her gaze, and where I was at, he managed a tired smile. The right half of his lips curled, despite being a raw red hue.

"I'm still wounded, but I must fulfill my role as the Angel of Death." The Seraph said breezily. "Mithos despises reminders of our weakness." Self consciously the man moved to touch the locks, he paused then, and let hi hand fall limply to his side. "So I merely set the hair the other way. It spares me… much in the way of pain."

"My heart bleeds for you." Rene quipped over her shoulder. She had turned away from him and stared at the sterile white walls of her chamber. So cold, so dead, this room and this world were, she shivered.

Cell was the right word, this was by no means a room, but a cell. She traced the path of the iron bars with her eyes, and sighed. Not that she would have really wanted to look out or would have been fool enough to actually climb out of a window here -not with such a long drop waiting for her on the other side- but the fantasy of escape could have kept her going. If only for a little bit.

"You could wear the robes we've so graciously supplied." Kratos said, no shame or interest coloring his tone as he looked her over.

"Sorry, I don't take gifts from sadists." Rene growled, tucking her knees under her chin, she stared at the air in front of her.

"We're trying to save the world." Kratos snapped, an edge of passion, no of _frustration_, creeping into his voice.

"By killing children, innocents?" Rene growled, turning to face him at last. Her long green locks were not pulled up in a tail, they hadn't been for almost five days. As they spilled out behind her Kratos' eyes softened, and the anger left his face.

"She'd rebuke me for such, and I'd accept it." Kratos noted distractedly, then as he went on his tone acquired the hard edge of steel. "Yet, there are differences enough I can draw a line between the two of you if need be. There are scars on your flesh and cruelty in your soul that she'd never tolerate."

With cool dispassion that would have done Yuan proud she tossed her head and she turned from him. Looking once more at the barred window she addressed it, and him, one last time.

"Oh, like your precious Martel would accept _your_ cruelty? You've fallen a long way, Kratos Aurion. So far that nothing in this world or the next would _ever_ accept you."

Hands shaking in fury, face flushed crimson of blood he could never shed, Kratos growled. Had he been holding the hilt of the flamberge it might have shattered under such a powerful grip. He stormed to the door, his boot heels clicked a stern defiance against the earth, at the portal he paused.

"It's a kind of mercy, I offer," He whispered, his voice shaking with such raw emotion she couldn't tell one violent passion from the other that was sheathed in such simple a mode as speech. "it ends. I offer an end. Your _kind_," Kratos spat the words, "offers corruption. Decay is your coin, hate your currency, and _that_ lingers, my dear. Day upon day _your kind_ rot from within from _your lies_."

She moved only once, to reach for the robes. He left her then, slamming the door behind him.

X

Everything compounded. Light upon light until shadow could not longer remain. She had noted with a dull curiosity as they dragged her from a room more lifeless than her own back to what she was fast becoming to think of her quarters, that it must cut both ways. Seeing Kratos' cruelty in Silvaria had hardened her heart to him, and so she had lashed out in her kind of cruelty. So, like the light, it compiled. Cruelty upon cruelty until even mercy was but a fond memory. Shackled with white quartz rather than steel, Mithos had tried to pry the secret of her mind, and she had fought him. She had fought, not for her own life, but the lives of those back in Triet. Dare she falter once he would know everything.

Unsure, riddled with doubt, she remained silent, though all she wanted to do was to burst out with tears. She made a compromise of sorts, and shook with terror as he looked over her. No longer a child, but a man. Coolly regal, a living sculpture of ice and ambition.

He wasn't satisfied, that's all his frown told her.

It was enough, she stifled a sob and had shook so hard that if she hadn't been strapped in she _would_ have fallen off the table.

"Get rid of her." The tone was distasteful.

"Is she, unsatisfactory, my Lord?" The absent sarcasm added to Yggdrasil's self proclaimed title was little more than a breath of discordance. And that was all but washed out by the genuine concern in _Derris fa Sith's_ voice...

"Barely compatible, corrupted by an outside infl..." Rene could hear him mutter, then seeing that she was cognizant enough to eavesdrop he switched to angelic mid word. "Unclean." Mithos concluded with a shudder. "Soul... slick with intrigue and blood. _She'd_ find it repulsive, but it'll be a long wait before another truly compatible innocent comes about."

"So, the girl is necessary?"

"Yes, leave her undamaged. We'll try the transfusion when Yuan get's back."

Kratos bowed, and with the air of one taking out one's trash, he had gathered her up and dragged Rene back to her cell.

At least he had the dignity to toss her on the bed, rather than on the floor before departing.

Alone, in her quarters, the true horror of what they were talking about hit her. Years after being separated from the church of Martel it seemed as if she was once again back in her old place. Unceremonious as it had been, she had just been Chosen.

It was then, to no surprise that the next day _Derris Fa Sith_ came to her, baring a small crimson crystal.

"Put it on," Kratos rasped, "or I wield it on. Your choice."

X

He was back to pacing, his appearance once immaculate had... how did humans put it, gone to the wolves. His hair was a tangled mess, his eyes blood shot, he bore the look of a man needing desperately to sleep. Yet he dared not, for Bryan had been in to report. Or rather, he'd stood at the edge of the shimmering violet portal while Yuan had glared through the haze of primordial mana to try to read the boy's lips while the child had howled at the barrier.

Giving the effort up for a wasted effort, Bryan had finally written down his words in large shaky print. And the few words Yuan had managed to make out through the haze of binding power was enough to blast his painfully regained rational to pieces.

Ninety percent of his people captured, murdered, all by Mithos' decree. Only Bryan and one other was alive. The others were outsiders saved from the massacre of Silvaria. Finally, unnerved by the light, the power, Bryan had withdrawn, taken his new troops off to some nearby cavern complex that had been discovered a few moons before their deployment. With luck, the summer bandits weren't lingering in there winter sanctuary.

Yuan had no thoughts in his mind then, he paced at the front entrance of his base, and scratched at the arcane walls with his nails. One thing had been clear, painfully clear. Rene was not amongst the survivors. Had she been even if hurt and near death, she'd have damned well given him that report herself.

He knew her, had damned well instilled that damned obsessive sense of responsibility in her that he himself clung to all these years. And it was the small barren island of duty that was left to him, even as a tide of emptiness grappled his soul. Duty made him stand when all he wanted to do was crumple. When all he ached to do was break down in tears, and scream his rage and fury. So he had banished everyone from the main entry with the promise that he was going to try _something_ to break the barrier down.

Having nothing let to give he attacked it with his bare hands. Glad to have -at last- the perfect outlet for his most primal rage.

Wet, warm, red trickled from the edge of his fingers, and he finally stopped. Shocked out of his mad grief, out of his rage, he stared at his hands. The flesh was worn away from the edge of his fingers, his nails were little more than blunted stubs.

When they came for him, when his subcommanders finally came on the eve of the final day, he no longer had the strength to fight. Yuan allowed them to gather him up and carry him to his office.

X

Tugging his gloves in place, he ignored the suspicious wet heaviness around the fingers and wrists. He had failed, after so many attempts to end his own life, that he no longer cared for appearances. Rene would put him to task for his attempts, yelled at him for his pure selfishness, but she might very well be beyond caring now. All that mattered was that the barrier was down, and that his subcommanders were trusting him enough to leave him alone with the composure of his sorrow.

"We can't deal wi' em." Bruen had rumbled. "If I saw the soulless bastard I'd..."

Yashin had nodded, his eyes as red and worn as Yuan's. He'd not even been able to speak for the grief and fury lodged in his throat.

That had been the state of most of his people, at least those present. Clavk and Feruon were on medical leave, the news of Rene's death -hypothetical Yuan insisted, but being taken for a fact by those closest to him- compounded with all their work had been the final straw on the camel's back.

Supposedly they'd be back in two weeks, recalling Feruon's -the woman who'd taken his daughter as her own in a misguided attempt to win him over- expression, he doubted if she'd ever be back.

Mortal hearts can only break so much, before the soul died, after all.

At the rap on his door Yuan cracked open eyes that the shards of oblivion behind folds skin that served as a lid. His lips moved, the words felt num, as did his soul.

"Enter."

Mithos came in, in his child's forum, and Yuan shook all over to see his enemy so vulnerable, so unguarded, before him. Hating even more the man-child he must serve. Whom he must serve and slowly destroy. For once, there was no ache of sympathy, of pity, in his soul as he considered these plans. Only the flavor of dull iron tinged vengeance.

"We've found one. One compatible for the Transfusion." Mithos chirped. Eyes wide and innocent despite his many sins. "While it's not a perfect spiritual match it's almost a perfect physical one. We're going to try later today." Then forgiving and forgetting everything previous, as was a young child's habit, Mithos concluded, somewhat shyly. "Want to come?"

Hope, bitter sweet, fell into the void of his soul. Animation lit Yuan's face, and color mounted his once pallid checks. Against the odds, perhaps to spite them, somehow Rene must have survived!

He nodded, and with a snap of his fingers ordered his soldiers in hiding to hold their fire. Plans had changed, for better or worse, and he was going to Derris Kharlan.

And he hoped, no prayed, it would be for the better.

She had survived, no one else, not in a million years, could so resemble Martel that her mere presence had stilled Derris Fa Sith's blade. Hope fired his heart, but as he stood, and began something that was half tour half effort to politely lead Mithos past the traps that _might_ have killed him, a chill of reality damped his enthusiasm. If Rene was to be used as a vessel to revive Martel, what would happen if the Transfusion were successful?

He'd lose his soul to gain the past back.

Suddenly cold, he pulled his cloak tightly about him, belatedly realizing that it was slightly askew. He fumbled off the claspe Rene had made him as a child and settled the cloak back in place and reset the pin. And his hands shook, as they worked, they shook.


	55. Sacrafice

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Chapter 55

A Renegades Sacrifice

_To my Readers._

_The time when you really wanna say something special, all the words just shut down. Oh Well. Maybe something will come to me tomorrow, or during a review response. I promise to answer all my reviews for the last chapter, that's something of a "Kasan Tradition" since it's most practical. As last or first, that's where most of the reviews land._

_ This is it, this short conclusion and one epilogue(The epilouge will be longer than this, oddly it's longer than the actually ending). For the record I am done, I'll post up the other piece tomorrow if I can get a computer. I hope you all had as much fun with this story as I did. I'm sorry about the bitter ending, but considering… Nothing else was compatible with the rest of the genre. Thanks to those of you guys with the patience to read all 55 chapters of this sometimes-grammar-sometimes-plot-challenged monster. I hope it was worth it. The epilogue will have a scene from the Great Seed Chamber from my Shards outline. If you don't want to be spoiled for my ending choice for Shards or for that scene in general than you'll want to skip my final update._

_Kasan Soulblade _

Yuan stared; his eyes wide, as Mithos' rambling monologue surrounded him but could not touch him. She was so pale as to look dead, so waxen as to appear forged of the finest porcelain. His lips formed damning words of affection, concern… but blessed be to whatever merciful gods were left he did not have the breath to speak them.

_Mer Delina_. What had they done to her? He managed to form that question. Somehow stripping his tone of its compassion.

Mithos answered, and it took all of Yuan's will power to not throttle Yggdrasil for his words. Yuan's hands quaked, his pupils dilated, as self control slid like sand through his fingers. Ignorant, or ignoring, Mithos prattled on for a time then with obvious indifference dropped the last piece of news he'd managed to pry out of Rene's mind before it had temporarily shut down.

"There are others."

"I'd expect nothing else, she was very well trained." Kratos murmured, absently he traced his jaw. The Serpah winced only a little when the calloused digit came in contact with the newly healed flesh. "She knew… everything. What I was, what I'm weak against. Most alarming she had leadership skills; she rallied those loyal to Cruxis against me. Still, we need some excitement to liven up the waiting game I suppose."

"It's not a game." Yuan growled. "This isn't a game."

"You're too passionate, _brother_." Kratos sneered. Then he left Yuan to his watching. Perhaps his feet picked a path to Mithos' castle, perhaps not.

Yuan didn't care, one way or the other, whatever Kratos' choice… he no longer cared.

Let them have this ice bound hell and let them die in it together. He no longer had any brothers.

X

He walked inside, there were no doors, only a window now for the Lord of Light to gloat and study his latest prize. After she had been made catatonic by her latest violation Mithos had merely teleported her into a cell, indifferent to the physical trauma of teleportation, or perhaps ignorant.

Considering the darkness that he had seen festering in Mithos in the recent millennia "indifferent" perhaps was the wisest choice.

With little more than a wave of his hand, he dimmed the light around him. Cool shadows now lapped at the edges of blazing overpowering light. The sudden birth of contrast by his will did much to sooth his eyes if not Rene's nerves. She was beyond caring, lost in her slumber.

Her hell, and his, would begin when she woke.

Hands wet with blood, raw and yet numb with slothful _natural_ healing. They fell upon her frame, one gently cupping the base of her neck, the other finding perch upon the crook offered by the ever so slight bend of her knees. With the ease of his unliving strength he picked her up and cradled her to his chest. Cautious, slow, he gathered her in his arms, and shifted her about so that he could sit on the edge of the plastic pallet that Yggdrasil had so _generously_ offered his newest test rat.

As when she had been a child, he marveled at her life, at her breath, even as his body spurned such mundane mortal nourishment... and his heart, it bled. For this might be the last he held her like this, this might be the last moment of her life. Watching her sleep, as he had a mere two decades ago, he cursed fate and his mind for knowing that she must wake.

And that when she did wake that it would be all over.

X

He was watching the shadows, watching for shadows, the only precursor to invasion of this soundless scentless sanctuary. Everything was sterile here, and all he could smell was his own blood and the faint undercurrent of dessert. Sand clung to him, like gold to the pelt of a dragon, and the fact he was sullying his Lord's test room with his mere presence wasn't enough to bring even a ghost of a bitter smile to his lips.

At this point, nothing was.

Clad in white, in a hue that she only barely tolerated, Rene stared at the glass plane, uncaring. He couldn't save her, not this time. He had studied every angle and angel upon the various route in and out of Derris Kharlan. His only path to save her would be to damn everyone else.

"I'm sorry." His voice was numb, but underneath the cool breath was a welter of feeling. A storm of hatred, frustration, all held in check by defeat.

"He won't even let you leave... not even when he kill m-" Her courage had broken then, and he had held and comforted her as best he could.

What shallow a comfort that had been, the unliving comforting the soon to die.

"It will be painless." Yuan had wanted to say, but he could not lie. So he told her the truth and watched the hope for sweet oblivion leech out of her eyes.

"I'll be awake while... someone else's soul is overlapped with my own..." Rene whispered.

"Unless Kratos can force Yggdrasil to sedate you, you'll be awake. If I try he'll just accuse me of sentimental drivel and mute me. I might manage a pain halving, but my pain will be obvious, he'll know what I've done and might be able to pry out of our mind the why behind it."

"Then you can't." Rene said firmly, meeting his gaze she forced a courage she did not feel into her voice and manner. "And you won't. I won't allow it, Yuan. That's an order."

The tears in her eyes, the fear in her soul nearly set his own to quaking. She reach out then, and as he had down so, once so long ago, she enfolded his hand in her own. His reassurance was to stop her platitude for forgiveness, her apologies for failing as a Chosen... For failing to live a lie. Her own... what was it for? He looked in her eyes for answers and only stared into a shimmering emerald abyss.

"Between us," Rene whispered, tightening her grip, ignorant of the blood on his hands. "there is nothing to forgive."

They came then, the shadows, the damned soulless executioners stepped through the matter of reality and with power born from one man's delusion they discarded the laws of physics. They passed through the solid, making no compromises of their own sanity, they paid not the coin of pain, suffered no distortions of shape or substance...

"Nothing." Yuan whispered in his shattered voice. Only faintly remembering that Rene's voice had broken, even as _he_ had forgiven _her_. "There was nothing wrong in the first place." He managed the weak assurance with a smile. He'd not have her see him broken, defeated, not in the last moments.

"My Lord." One of the angels said. "His Lordship will see you now."

She managed a smile of her own, a flash of courage, just for him. One last parting glance, then she turned, and he did too. Nothing more could be done, and words were now not only worthless but dangerous. His cape sighed behind him as he stood, from somewhere he managed a serine nod, managed to summon enough mana pass through the walls unhindered.

And thought his soul screamed him to do otherwise, he did not once look back.

X

Broken and bleeding, they left her like that. Like so much refuse. Faintly he recalled Kratos approaching, by raising one hand he had barred the other Seraph from speaking, a glance had banished him. With a vicious snarl Mithos had teleported to his castle, leaving a mess of rainbow hued feathers scattered amongst the floor. With them both gone Yuan was left with the ghosts of old actions and inaction.

_Her screaming, arching in pain._

_A daggers descent, never hitting vitals, only nerves and pain._

_Healing mana, never numbing, a child's face forced into a rictus of hate as he stared at the tainted flesh that had so utterly refused to house his sister's flesh._

_Words, so cold, empty. "If she won't hold her, she'll break. I'll get the name of that organization's leader, their base, even if I have to drag it out with her last breath." _

_She had died a mute, understanding in the end that to be able to speak was to die. No lies, no cunning could save her. He shook in knowing what she had willingly done for herself. Alone he shook, and stared at past and present, both with cursed him as a coward_.

It was many hours then, until he had the courage to gather the empty clay that had been _her_, and carry her home.

Ignoring the gore, the filth, he had murmured into her ear, as the wings of his damnation folded around them both.

"We're going home, _Mer Delina_, it was hard, but we are finally going home."


	56. Epilogue part1

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Epilouge: Part One

**_Final Author's Note:_**

**_Sorry for the wait guys! I've been really under the weather (had an ulcer, among other things) and haven't been writing much. Also, this chapter was hard as heck to write, and I considered abondoning it altogether. Still, I made a promise, and I'll keep it. I had to cut this in half so that you'll actually get a part of it this month. The other chapter will hopefully be up before April 12th, but if not then you'll have to wait till next month, as almost all of my computer access is going to be cut off for the later half of this month. _**

**_This is the ending of true Defiance, the full summery of the Renegades, and the spoiler laden scene from Shards all rolled up into one. As I promised last update. Pleasent reading ._**

**_Kasan Soulblade_**

_"Even reality itself must bend and distort. Time ceaseless, restless, must halt and turn on itself. Truth set before the power of the Eternal is as nothing."_ Origin

_"Love is both Damnation and Salvation. It's our legacy, our final testament to our Goddess. Mortal or not, Martel is our Goddess. You may have loved her as a woman, as a friend. But your descendents, all of us, have loved her too. She is our light, our ideal, our hope. For that, she is our salvation. It's your obsession, your base primitive inability to accept the natural cycles of life and death, which has made our Goddess into your Damnation and destruction."_ Raine Sage

Impossible was possible, the air sang of mana, to breathe in was in part to consume the very essence of the worlds. In the heart of distortion, tossed by mad frothing waves, this was an island of sanctuary, this was a monument of peace. Living breathing in the essence of life itself, little more than an extension of that awful force, her subconscious thoughts were answered as surely as a devoted worshiper's prayer. Thought parts time and space, distance and distortion, bending reality. In truth, this all occurs at the prompting of a mere fraction of a thought, she longs, and her subconscious need is answered.

Tranquility, complete stillness, exudes from her, like ripples across a pond's smooth surface, her presence laps against him. He lifts his head, hearing a call and grieving for his hearing.

At last, even he must fold. He sighs her name, and stands. Those around him, a slew of half elves, young and old, melt away. Distanced yet not smothered, abandoned yet never forsaken. He must answer the call. His final glance is a promise, and again, that power tugs but his promise assured he will be back.

And all know that Yuan Vor'esse never breaks his promises.

He passes through the gauntlets of compressed matter, hundreds of miles of altitude, the embrace of cloud, the parting of stone, all matter that he must embrace, evade, it flashes before his eyes. It is surmounted, compressed, all by the will of another. Even disorientation, that too is shed, and he stands before her. Artic cold stone, as pale as ice, with a touch of translucency makes him smile in fond reminiscence as he recalls a world of ice, a forsaken world of snow that he's claimed as his own. He looks up, and scattered about him are those who don't belong. Interlopers, trespassers, yet she is far too gentle to banish them, so they linger. Close, yet as distant as the stars. Her gaze is enough to hold them at bay, her will not malicious enough to cut them off from her reunion with _him_. She is curious, and her emerald green eyes show that avid curiosity that once guided her through her first life.

In face of that, and all the fond memories she is to him, he can not help but smile.

Yet his smile is rimmed with tears, and she embraces him for seeing his pain.

He holds her close, golden locks twine though his fingers. She presses against him, seeking solace in his familiar warmth which she has been so long denied.

Yet his is cold, as cold as Falnoir's mountainous heart. Mere mortal warmth will no longer catch against his pallid skin. She takes his hands in her own, lovingly chaffs them together. A futile effort to warm him. Concern flashes across her face as his pallor and coolness linger despite her efforts. She steps back, and looks upon him in full.

To this, as he has promised another he would, he kneels before her. Her left hand still clasped in his own.

"Martel, I am sorry."

"Yuan, why? You've done nothi-"

Her voice is unsteady, now. Its pitch isn't true, too high, too sweet... Now forced to look upon her hand she notices its difference. While not pale as his own, her hand is wrong. The shape, the size, the hue. Too sun kissed, too calloused, she notices these little things, and he says nothing. He merely allows the wrongness to settle over her. For her to be begin to be able to understand.

Lifting her hand to his lips, he gently kisses her knuckle, while the motion is intimate the ice that he has in part become makes a parody of their old love. She senses that, and he understands and smiles despite his pain.

"I beg your forgiveness, for my weakness. I beg your mercy, for my hundred transgretions. The man you loved is dead, dearest. He died two thousand years ago. To save a soul he died... I had no choice, even now, the choice is not mine to make. My will is overshadowed by the needs of others, by hundreds of others..."

Images flicker about his shoulders, glimmerings of light that cannibalize themselves to become as nothing. This flickering hellish aura hung about him as a cloak, like an aura. He is most familiar with it, after all, what he has been made to be does not allow him to forget the hundreds of thousands of souls that have fought and died for him.

They hung behind him, seeping every step across the earth in their blood. He closes his eyes, weary. So tired, so very tired, but as _she_ had, he finds the strength to open his eyes and to stand. Before Martel can respond he draws her near, holds her close, crushes her against his armored breast.

One last time, he holds her, and then gently pushes the strands of blonde hair from her azure eyes. So like his own, but unlike, as summer sky differs to the winter twilight...

Her scent and the lost Chosen... Colette's scent fills his nostrils. He sighs and teasingly twines a golden lock between his fingers. As he had done for his daughter, so many times, yet a lifetime ago. Martel relaxes, just a little. Reassured by his familiarity, even if slightly repulsed by the chill of his touch. The miniscule loosening of her muscles, things a mortal could not feel but that which he could sense with some bizarre angelic insight...

Bowing his head, so soft that she must feel the words rather than hear them, he sighs.

"Forgive me, for everything."

The world explodes into fire. Shaking, she struggles to break free, from the noise, the heat, but his grip is too firm. She may only merely turn to watch, he allows only that, and nothing more.

_Fire, it cleans away the scourge of human and demon magics and presence from the face of a mountain. Surrounded in a halo of flame, small starlets of crimson surrounds a golden haired child and flicker in time with his crazed laughter. The hellish hues of flame, the writhing shadows of those dying... is nothing compared to the emptiness in the boy's eyes..._

_Knowing, yet needing to confirm, the blood seeped mercenary staggers to a woman's form. Green hair caked with red, short hewn locks matted and tangled in a crimson blanket. Her chest does not rise or fall. Shaking black gloved hands wrench the knife from the chest, and the final rise and fall of the body is enough to show the woman is dead._

_He looks upon the Martel and Yuan of the present, and shakes his head. Clearly he is addressing someone else when he speaks._

_"Dead, no doubt of it."_

_Tears trace a crystal path down a red streaked face, even as his voice cracks on the last word._

_"Gods damn them! News of this will restart the Gods damned war!"_

_Stepping out from the nothing beyond them, a disheveled Yuan limps into the present Martel's sight. His face livid with fury, his hands shaking, he utters one word._

_"Maverick."_

_Black eyes glint with hate. Dangerous, those eyes hover in the brink of breaking. They meet the gaze of the blue haired half elf. A cruel predatory smile curls the lips, black eyes cooly flick over the blood sheathed half elf, macabre humor glints like hard points of light within the tears._

_"Very much among the dead. You killed him, before..." Kratos gestures to the ashes that had once been a living mountain's ecosystem. "Leave his remains with his fodder." The human rumbled._ _"He'd _love_ that."_

_X_

_Time passes, a step, a hundred years. Kratos sits upon the edge of a crumbling wall made of silver with whirls of white quartz making half obscured and forgotten patterns in a long forgotten language. The man's azure wings are pressed against his side, a phantom Yuan approaches, speaking yet not expecting an answer._

_"You're going?"_

_"You're not up to it." Kratos rasps, his newly healed vocal chords working for the first time in a half century. "And more to the point," Kratos turns, a weary smile on his lips. "I protect my friends."_

_"You think Mithos' Regeneration scheme is going to work?" Yuan dares to question, his blue eyes filled with worry. _

_"It damned well better. We've poisoned the minds of how many people, started how many jihids between my people and those converted to the _true _faith?"_

_"What happens, if it doesn't work?"_

_"We try again." Kratos whispered. "Again and again. I don't care how long it takes. We need her back, to fix..._ things."

_By things, check under Mithos. Consider the cruel streak that had been developing, thriving in this cold hostile world that he'd picked for them to work in. While unspoken, the thoughts are images, images of torture, slaughter, red streaked living pictures apparent for everyone to gaze upon._

_Such is a Seraph's recognition, a Seraph's recollection. Wincing, Yuan reaches to clutch his skull, to stall the tide of memory. But it never lets up, with a cry he sinks to his knees. Distant, a world away, he is vaguely aware that Kratos watches and can do nothing._

_X_

_Time again, it passes as it is wont to do. Centuries of monotonous existence, of a limited life. Restrictions that ache when broken, a torturous empty life. Yuan took Kratos' place on the crumbling wall, filled teh vacant place let by the wandering Seraph. Numb to the world, he barely comes too when one of the new made angels approach him. Dressed in black vest and pants, Yuan notes that he is aptly suited up for his own funeral. A fitting simile he notes, even as he realizes that the angel with its swan white wings and robe of celestial glory is most certainly _not

_Clenching his hand into a fist, a brick crumbles under his grip, he tosses the bits and pieces over the edge of Welgaia. Down into the ethers that Mithos has erected as a defense measure, a screen from mortal eyes. Perhaps his sport is eventually falling to pelt some brainless minion between the eyes. That thought makes him smile, he throws the next chunk harder._

_"You're are to come to the Castle, Lord Vor'esse."_

_Yuan studies the broken wall. Once it had been a perch, proud in it's shattered glory. It had been the size of a house, now it was the size of a small bench..._

_Yuan shrugs off the angel's presence, fascinated by the lull of routine that has allowed him to break such a structure with his bare hands into such a sad state._

_"I'm to drag you if you resist or ignore his Lordship's commands."_

"_Fine." Yuan sighs as he stands. "I'm coming."_

X

_Mere days, lone hours._

_A child with wide green eyes._ Her _eyes_.

_But not _her _name, not_ her _soul._

_A small hand pokes his side, even as he groans and glares all his hate upon the branch that has brought him low._

_A voice, a question, a child's question. How ironic that her innocent wonder would trigger all of this._

_"Are you my Derris Fa Sith?"_

_Time passes, an eternity in his heart, but mere minutes to this reality seeped child's perspective. He gathers his courage and looks into Martel's eyes. He answers, both Martel, and the child._

_"No"_

_He looks into Martel's eyes and defies his lord, and he is glad for his defiance._

_X_

_A child accompanies him, she gets ill, and from some inner reserve of unrealized unacknowledged affection he draws for courage. Old memories allow him to nurture and guild her to recovery. Looking upon the den... no the hole in the erthen hide of Triet he has claimed as their own after the forced eviction of some lowly monster, he grimaces. Little wonder the girl had taken ill. With such drear stone surroundings. She dared not -in truth neither of them dared- to creep out when the sun rode the sky, it was little wonder she was getting sick._

_Absently, prompted by her shiver, he unclasps the sapphire that he's worn for two millennia. He sets it aside and pulls of his cape and drapes it over her frame. The shivers stop soon, and she rather boldly wraps herself up in the black folds of silk he smiles._

_For the first time, he thinks of the girl as his own. Gently he smoothes back the green locks, short now, but in time they will acquire length and unruliness. As will the child, he muses as he looks on, Rene would inherit those twin traits in adolescence. He sighs, as he realizes that Time would once again separate him from this minute mirror of his Martel. But it would make the girl into something else, something perhaps greater than Martel or himself._

_Both sad and relieved by that revelation he chuckles, knowing he must find mirth somewhere in this quagmire. One ill step, his or hers, and they'd both die deaths that would make Shadow quake in horror. Already he'd erred, his misstep had caused suffering. On the whole a case of stomach flu wasn't that big an error, but it still was suffering, and he had been the cause._

_"I think the first matter on our agenda is to give you a real house, a real home. Would you like that, a place of your own?"_

_Snuggled against his cape, oblivious to the world, Rene does not respond. But, honestly, Yuan doesn't expect her to._

_X_

_Time, as always, goes forward. He aches to rub his temples, to stop the pounding between his temples. Resolute masks however, allow for no weakness. Yuan considers his quaking charge with slit thin eyes. He does not raise his hand, but his voice takes on an edge of steel. Each step compiles to the slow circuit he is making around the shame faced girl. Clearly, she had not thought she'd get caught. His gaze, never blinking, edged with lightning, is a stern unspoken reminder that he never rests, never lowers his guard._

_Unspoken but felt are the words that are half lecture half dead serious warning that he never forgets either._

_"I know you don't like the arcane, but you need to practice. If I find you've cheated like this again the acid of my words will be worse than a beating, I assure you."_

_He pauses, kicking a canteen of oil aside. The violate liquid inside splatters against his boot. He ignores the splatter on his immaculate boot, despite the fact that the small smear of oil is like acid on his awareness. He steps aside, to acknowledge the steel smeared with oil, and nods, first to his charge than to the object she was to have strived to burn._

_"Now then, since you've set this elaborate game up, you are to ignite it, _arcanely_."_

_She winces at the last word, but grits her teeth and shakes her head._

_"N... no..."_

_"You don't want to." Yuan sighs the last, the gentle tone breaking Rene's courage. He knows exactly where this is going to lead, and grieves and blesses the girl's insight, even as he curses his new role. A role of calculated cruelty inspired to make her learn what she clearly would never on her own. "Because you don't want to control it. Because control means that eventually you'll have to summon the fires, to protect yourself, to burn a living, breathing, being. That's the problem, correct?"_

_She nods, looking up at him in confusion. He can see the questions in her eyes, the fear, and the hope. The hope rooted in the delusion that he understands and may be moved to relent._

_"So you hold it in, until you sicken, until you die? Is that what you'd prefer? Or would you rather have full suppression, then to have your gift reemerge, full force, at the most inappropriate time? Imagine summoning fire on your lover, your friends, an innocent, not being able to control it... You're a sharp girl, you can imagine better than I the conse-"_

_She bows her head, a sob shakes her. That is his signal, and he stops mid word. He shows none of the compassion he feels in his heart, only looks down at her, unmoved, unblinking._

_"Summon the fires." Yuan whispers, placing one arm on her shoulder, pinning her in place with his touch when he know... when he can feel the hot passion in her that makes her want to flee. "Control them, or they will control you. What's it going to be, Rene?"_

_With a shaking hand she traces a symbol in the air, and the oil takes. It explodes into brilliant hot white flame, and he nods, allowing her to see his pleasure. He turns, satisfied, if things continue at his pace he won't have to be the cruel goading sadist for long._

_"Very good, Rene. I'm glad we've had this talk."_

_And with those words he leaves her in the training room, to fully take in what he's said._

_X_

_Z'eh, vulpine eyes, a sharp face, more angle and scraggly hair than anything else. He steps, no intrudes on their solitary lives. His presence is greeted in welcome by one, and hate in the other. Like twin wolves seeking dominance they war, a war of words, blows. Until at last hate compiles upon hate and leads to madness. Holding the hellish SoulEatter, he at first resists. But the voice growls louder and hearing it's siren call, Z'eh turns it upon the innocents that have flocked to Yuan's hesitant banner._

_As his blade steals their souls and will the mad man's words take their reason. And all athirst for blood, the hounds slip the leash, and tear into the newborn heart of the Renegades._

_Boots click upon steel, he takes his place behind the Armsmaster, the new one. A child, too soon to be blooded yet he has been hardened by necessity. Reaching out, Yuan grips the boy's shaking shoulders._

_"If you would like, we could bury her."_

_"There's nothing left to..."_

_"Enough, I think, to take up a small plot of land and to place a marker stone over." Yuan says quietly, his fingers bite into the young boy's shoulder. He uses more force then he wants, more force than he is comfortable with. Numb, dead hands as his don't know their own strength, and he must forever be cautious. Seeing Bryan squirm, Yuan lightens his grip, but does not let go. "Burial isn't for the dead, Bryan, it's for the living. The marker, it isn't for the angels to identify the fallen or some other religious nonsense, it's for the living to visit, so that they can remember. Mor- People feel uncomfortable without a stable place to visit, to say farewell, to reminisce..."_

_"Thank you, Sir er... Yuan. Thank you, I'll think about it."_

_Satisfied, Yuan releases his grip, at last reassured that the boy isn't going to do something stupid… like try to follow his sister in death. He also knows with some innate mortal sense that it's time to leave._

_"Come to me, any time, if you need anything. Odds are I'll be in my office. But if not, just ask Rene, she'll know."_

_Bryan nodded, and didn't turn, even as the scrap of fabric on steel tells him that Yuan is about to leave. Then, without turning, Bryan lifts his head and addresses his lord. It's little more than the utterance of a name, but the Seraph allows it to bind him. At the edge of the portal leading to some insignificant hall Yuan stops. He says nothing, and silence falls, pierced by the dull humm of the magiteck devices embedded in the walls._

_"When... when you miss someone, and you go to visit th.. the grave. Does it help? Really?"_

_"I don't have a place to visit, her. I can say this for sure, it is unsettling to have nothing to visit. I can't go somewhere and say, this is where Martel died. In part, because that area was so desolated it ceased to exist after the splitting of the world, and in part because she isn't dead. And that... perhaps more than anything else hurts the most. Mortal pain ends, but this pain never does. I can't say it's over, not until everything is over, and all because of Mithos' indomitable will and inexhaustible power."_

_"I'm sorry, Yuan."_

_"So am I, for so much more than you are. I always ask..." Curious, despite his loss, Bryan turns to face Yuan, and the Seraph manages a small smile despite himself. "...well, what I ask isn't important, now is it? I'll never get my answer, so it doesn't really matter."_

_X_

_Leaning back, enjoying actually being in a city without the damned persecution Rene actually seemed to be enjoying herself. She was whiling the time at a game of darts, and really wasn't good at it. But skill and perfection weren't a necessity, not when the darts were being thrown for fun. Despite gravity's damndest, Rene hit the edge of a targets and got a prize. It was a small candy piece, reserved for the youngest of the young, but Rene took it. He smiled at her obvious glee and tried not to laugh at the small show she freely gave, all for a piece of candy. It would have been strange for him to respond to something that was happening half a block away, so he settles for a smirk and to make his way towards her. Winding through the crowded Maltokian square he approached her from behind, and with mock severity plucked the candy out of her hand._

_"You are far too young for this." He teased, waving the treat right out of her reach._

_Laughing he held it over her head, and she hopped for it once. Mere seconds after her feet touched the ground she scowled and crossed her arms, doing a poor impersonation of his sternest glare._

_"Give it, now. " When he complied, she snatched it out of his grasp with unseemly speed. She turned then, talked to the man behind the counter. After an exchange of words, he gave up two pieces of celin coin and received another set of darts. "If you think _you're_ so good, let's see if you can earn something of your own."_

_And with that, Rene put the darts in Yuan's now empty hands._

_"If you're too young, I'm far too ol-"_

_"Fine." Rene plucked the steel tipped feather ended babbles from his hands. "After all, we all know back at the Base you couldn't hit the ground if it weren't for gra-"_

_"Give them, now." Yuan snarled._

_Rene complied with a wicked smile. Grumbling, Yuan decided just to show her how wrong she was. And so he hit a bulls eye with all five of his darts and took one of the overstuffed green bird dolls with him as his dubious reward._

_"I thought you hated Derr- er _his_ pet bird." Rene commented, as Yuan trudged down the street, prize in hand._

_"I do, I'm going to burn it in Noishe's memory."_

_"Noishe isn't dead yet." The first Second protested, her lips quirked into a smile at her father's strangeness._

_"Next time I see him, I'll rectify that." Yuan promised with an evil chuckle._

_X_

_"New recruits?" Yaun asked, looking through the assembled rag tag band of half elves. They had been expecting torture, and had received treatment, they had expected sadism, and had been given food, water, and been reunited with their families after the three day quarantine was passed._

_Bryan__ nodded, and for his eighteen years he managed to add something like sternness to the gesture._

_"Excellent, dismissed. Fetch Mistress Feruon, technician Yashin, and secretary Vryce, we'll need to sort these five out in short order. While you're gone... I'll explain reality to them and the wonders they've been missing out on."_

_"Second Rene isn't going to like that, Sir."_

_"Did I ask for a second opinion, Mister Bryan?"_

_"No sir." Bryan said, with a smart salute. The prisoners, or rather the soon to be freed prisoners, watched the exchange between their captors with obvious confusion._

_"And you gave it to me, anyways?"_

_"Yes, Sir."_

_Bowing his head, Yuan reached up with a hand and massaged his temples. The Seraph's counter was muffled by his arms._

_"Rene gives me enough headaches, I don't need more."_

_"Think of it growing pains." Emboldened by his Lord's confused scrutiny, the young man in Desian garb grinned and continued. "Your brain." The Armsmaster clarified, taking a few steps back. "It's probably growing, all that none Derris Kharlanian stimuli and all that, which we lowly mortals exude."_

_"You mean the surplus of attitude." Yuan snarled. He clenched one hand into a claw, and small slivers of lightning licked around his digits. After a moment the mana twisted and formed a lightning orb._

_Taking the hint, Bryan withdrew -at a run- and the lightning orb Yuan cast smashed into the earth behind him. Small veins of power licked across the steel floor, spearing out a few feet in every direction, before curling upon themselves and dissipating with a malcontent hiss. Perhaps by missing Bryan he was proving Rene right, but then considering the fact that Yuan had meant to miss that time perhaps he was not._

_X_

_Cloak snapping behind him, he paced. Endless, restless, pacing, that consuming the miles between himself and Silvaria yet crossing none of that span. The world was denied him, all by the whim of a child formed sadist. Cursing, he summoned a bolt of lightning, and cast the spear at the violet span that barred him from the world._

_In response to his efforts, the power rippled, and in that motion he could feel Origin's harsh mocking laughter._

_His wings were behind him, he did not recall drawing them. They hung limp at his sides, the thin wasted extensions of his soul could have blown away at the barest wind. His essence, his hold on life, it was that precarious, that fragile... With another oath he smashed his fist into the unbending, unbreaking wall, and then let himself go. He slid down, limp, staring at the violet span, one hand absently clawing at it even as he passed. Weary, he draws his wings over his face, over his frame. Hoping against hope that the familiar crimson lumination will blot out the surreal violet light cast by Mithos' barrier._

_A vain hope, in his tortured mind the lights mingle and mix until all the shadows of the world seem cast in blood._

_They find him thus, curled into himself, his wings folded about him. Without a word, save perhaps a grunt of pain, they carry him back to his office._

_They need him, for once in two thousand years he is needed, and those who need him will not let go._

_X_

_"No arguments." Yaun rasps, he is worn, her blood though days old, still stains his clothes. Indifferent to the filth, to the red smears that cover his frame and cause no small concern from his subcomanders, he stares them all down. They fold, to his glare and barely held back malovance they break. Gazes drop, heads droop, they bow to his authority. To this show of submission he sighs, leans back into the chair. He hates his form, with all it's power. Such hellish enduring strength should not be his, but it is. It comes back to him, more and more every day. When his spirit is at its weakest, his body is slowly becoming it's strongest. He is in the process of shaking off mana drain so extreme that it should have killed him days ago. In less then a week by his figure he will be back to full strength unless he does something incredibly stupid to drain himself down to nothing._

_Running a hand though his hair, ignorant of the sweat and blood that cake his gloves in red brown filth, Yuan sets the soiled hand on the desk. More than one pair of eyes fall upon his hand, and note the dull red crust gathered under the digits, but no one comments._

_No one dares._

_"It's decided. I'm ordering it. From this day on, no one is to mention her, her name will be struck from our records. For all intent and purposes Rene Vor'esse does not exist, is that clear?"_

_"Why?"_

_Yuan turns, to the broken lover, the shattered half. He stares into eyes that think their pain is eternal, and he doesn't flinch._

_"Yggdrasil... interrogated her." Yuan snaps. "He knows enough that if we utter her name amongst ourselves he will know that we were the ones who backed her. In a weeks time, he will be back, to carry out an inspection. I expect-"_

_"We should strike back, do something!" Vryce snarls, leaping to his feet, looking from one sub commander to the other, striving for support. He gets nothing, save blank empty stares, and at last whirls on Yuan, standing alone. "Or are you a coward? Hell, you shouldn't be leading us, you just sat aside and let that bastard kill her, your own dau-"_

_"Enough!" Yuan roars, surging to his feet. "You've no right to criticize me you bastard! None of you do! I did what I did because I was ordered to!"_

_"By Yggdrasil!" Vryce roars, shaking from the potent combination of fury and grief "And if the bastard orders you to kill us, you'll just do it! Because Yggdrasil, your precious Lord orders..."_

_"If Yggdrasil ordered me to kill you, I could not help myself. I would have no choice, because so long as he holds the Eternal in his hands, _none_ of us, have a choice." Yuan thunders, and at his tone is so filled with violence that even Vryce backs down. "As for who gave me that order, it wasn't Yggdrasil, it was Rene."_

_Forced into silence by his shock, Vryce sits down, his eyes wide and empty of thought._

_"She ordered it, as well as the obliteration of her presence from our minds. I won't go that far, I will never go that far unless I have no choice..." Yuan's tone softens, the lightning behind his eyes dissipates as do the tell tale sparks about his hands. "But time will do that for me, after you've all died I will name this organization. After her name is forgotten they will speak it yet again, but they shall never understand that they do. Not until the end, the very bitter end. You all are dismissed unless there is other business that requires my attention. On a final note, Mistress Feruon, I've considered your resignation notice and I grant it. You'll be provided escort to where ever you wish to go as well as funds. I look forward to recruiting your descendents at the appropriate time. Yashin, you're staying until you can provide me proof that you have a decent replacement on hand that can take all your duties. Anything else?"_

_Silence, falls, then, at last, Bryan clears his throat._

_"Sir, you haven't named your new Second."_

_"No, I need to consider Rene's... suggestion. She left one in her will." Almost by accident, Yuan's eyes fall onto Vryce, and then he looked away, stared at the door beyond them all. "Sub commander Vryce, shall I consider your outburst as a round about request for leave, or total withdrawal from this organization?"_

_"Withdrawal, my Lord." Vryce murmurs, coming out of his stupor at long last. "I... I can't stay here... I can't."_

_"I wouldn't ask you to." Yuan sighed, and continueed to look beyond them, the azure eyes rivited on thier internal vista. "Clear up your traveling arrangements with Bruen and Clavk. I'll be in my private quarters, if you need me."_

_"Shouldn't I... well I'm Armsmaster, I'm in charge of the fighters, sir." Bryan protests, and the look of extreme patience Yuan pins on him, makes the young man squirm._

_"Do whatever amuses you, Bryan, do whatever you wish."_

_Bowing his head, unable to stand his Lord's tortured stare, Bryan flushes. "I'm sorry sir. We'll leave you alone for a few days, so you can have some privacy."_

_In gratitude, Yuan nods, and slips out of the room. He begins the long walk to his private chambers. They bow to him as he passes, the guards, the soldiers; they bow to him as if he were a Lord. He wants to grab them, to shake them, to berate them, all of them! He's no lord, he couldn't even save his own child from death, they shouldn't hold any faith in him!_

_Yet they do, all of them. For his sacrifice, for her sacrifice, he has -in their minds, at long last- become one of them. One in their suffering, one in their resolve._

_He is theirs, their lord, and they are his, his wards._

_Nodding, somehow he gathers his courage and puts on a brave facade and nods in reply to their bows. As she had done in those final moments of their final meeting he reaches, and finds the well of courage is not wholly dry. The platitudes the few mutter as he passes, the words for courage and hope, they are no longer hollow and empty. Swift are the waters that fill his eyes._

_And though the tears burn, he soon is alone, so they can fall freely at long last._

_X_

_"Renegades?" His newest second, Bryan's replacement repeates the word to himself yet again. The man rolls the word on his tongue. Tasting it's flavor. He nods, as if the syllables are pleasing to his pallet._

_"That's the common translation. It means a little more in Angelic, but the heart of it is much the same."_

_The bulky swords master looks to his Lord in inquiry. Yuan smiles, almost a shy smile as he so glibly lies to his Second._

_"Rene: to rebel, challenge... Gadius: the children of."_

_"So, we are the children of a challenger, then?"_

_"Something like that."_

_Running a thick hand though his wild red locks, the half elf offers his superior a grin. It's a mocking gesture, as if the man knows how much his lord hates being made to wait. Yet Otheron makes his Lord wait, just to have the pleasure of watching the Seraph squirm in impatience. Before impatience turns to boredom, or disinterest, the Second picks up the thread of the conversation, as if there was never a pause in it at all._

_"It's a hell of a lot better than the crap the youngsters are thinkin' up, ya gotta admit." Seeing his Lord's mounting curiosity, the half elf bares his white teeth in a grin. "When the youngsters, the newly recruited, get it into their head to boast the unofficial name of our organization is such a mouthful they spend more time trying to spit it up than actually fighting, raiding, and the like."_

_Prompted by his Lord's raised eyebrow, Second Otheron plows ahead with a reckless abandon that would eventually be the death of him fifty years later._

_"And I quote this, my Lord, 'Beware and fear this organization, for we are those who will bring low Cruxis and it's tainted lord, dethrone the Desians, and endure past the last of you sorry angel hugging bastards of'... well at that point, it depends on what ranch were raiding and what country it's in." Otheron concludes with a shrug._

_Yuan's lips twitch, and Otheron chuckles._

_"Yeah, it sounds funny, it's even funnier when you hear the younglings say it really fast and dodge arrows while they're sayin' it. Then it's damned hilarious."_

_Unable to help himself, Yuan laughs, and Otheron seeing his duty complete, leaves at that point. With a friendly shoulder clap to his Lord's shoulder, the newest Second departs. And Yuan does not regret Bryan's choice of replacement, not in the least. He wishes, for a heartbeat that Bryan had stayed, that Bryan could stay. But the man has family now, with everything to lose he can not stick to his old duties and be the father that he wants to be._

_And while the choice must have been hard, there was only one answer to the dilemma._

_And as a father, speaking to a father, Yuan could and would not force Bryan to stay._

_X_

_Time passes, ages, and he watches with detached interest as the social structure of Sylvarant, the more dominenet of the two worlds, collapses. It's a slow collapse, few are crushed by the debris of neglected advanced thought, and decaying invention, and for those who struggle to hold the old ways… They are soon as forgotten as the world they hold dear. The bulk either die from neglect or quietly disappear._

_As for him, he and his own do not suffer from a lack of intellectuals, scientists, or magi. Decay always brings a influx of material to his doorstep. He thrives like the rising nations of bandit lords in Sylvarant, on the unrealized richest of his enemy's fall. Granted, he doesn't gather gold and silver and the like, but his bounty is rich, and he draws on it deeply. Maters of blood are all but forgotten within his walls. Those of half or full blooded breed, human and elf alike, learn though trial, error, and loss, to trust one another. Unified in cause and intent the Renegades rise, and when Sylvarant seems beyond redemption they shift focus. The wonders of magi-technology are shipped to Tethe'alla, another base is constructed in the frozen wasteland that is unnamed but will one day be dubbed Falnoir._

_It has all the comforts of his old home, he even finds some secluded glacier that is so slow and steady in it's drifting that he sets up a teleport disk in his chamber and makes a second silent home within it's crystalline heart. He will have to move out and find another in a thousand years by his estimate, it will be a thousand years before the drift causes the glacier to actually move to the edge of his newest bases teleportation range, still that's time enough. With hope the war might be done, his Renegades dismantled, and he can move in on a more permanent basis. Well, at least for a few millennia, then he can go back home. _

_He does not, despite his second lair's niceties, transport Martel's portrait over. He has no plans to do so. While Falnoir is a comfortable substitute Triet is his home._

_X_

_I've gone over the papers Mer. Pherr left behind, and in my Second's passing I have gone over the papers he has left behind..." At his words Armsmaster Vince looks pleased, and Yuan fights to keep a straight face. "And I find his replacement recommendation lacking." _

_The council falls silent; they look upon him with wide confused eyes. Leaning back he stares at them, sapphire eyes gleaming with amusement. _

_"Over the years, the requirements of Second haven't existed in the replacements that my previous Second's have left behind. As a matter of fact, this is more often the norm than the exception. The last three Second recommendations being perfect for the position were coincidence, I assure you. But never fear, I have plans set aside for this event." Yuan smoothly assured them. "Now, then, if that's the end of that you are di-" _

_"Permission to request as to why I am unsuitable for to position, sir." Vince choked out. _

_Blinking, the Seraph considers the hulking Armsmaster, and nods. _

_"Permission granted, we'll discuss it after the others withdraw. Is that satisfactory Armsmaster?" _

_"Yes, sir." _

_Only when the last half elf shuffles out does Yuan turn to consider his dispirited Armsmaster. Amused by the man's crest fallen expression, it takes all of the Searph's will power not to laugh in the young half elf's face. The Seraph nods, and Vince who has been standing, takes up the unspoken invitation to sit. _

_"I understand that you constantly strived for this position, and the loss of it, the withdraw of you even as a consideration, is hard on you." _

_Too choked to speak, the Armsmaster only manages a stiff nod. _

_"I didn't pull you out to be cruel, and I'm not going to give you a load of crap about how we need you doing your old job more than I need a Second. You aren't that thick as to buy that series of platitudes." Leaning back, Yuan presses his lips into a thin line. "It's what you don't have. Mentally and spiritually. You're an excellent soldier, but what makes you such a good warrior disqualifies you for this post. You think from a to b, straight, linear, you can't grasp the complexities and horrors that are out there." Vaguely Yuan waves a hand, as if to encompass the world beyond the base. "There are truths a Second must know, and while you are not weak, you are not strong enough to deal with them. You quake in the face of angels, I've seen your response in fights against Cruxis, and in that, again you fail. I need a man unafraid of Cruxis, and comfortable with working with me. Again, you lack." With a hand Yuan halts the harsh, hot, outburst that threatens to form on Vince's lips. Ice eyes gleam, dangerously, and Vince listens numbly to the Seraph's conclusion. "That, by my book, is far too many weaknesses. Just stick with what you're good with, train and prepare for our final confrontation, and trust me when I say that that is more than enough." _

_"That sounds rehearsed." The Armsmaster grunts, as he prepares to leave. Clearly he is disappointed, and angered for being silenced and scared. _

_"If you knew, or trusted me, at all." Yuan replies, his azure eyes looking past Vince, beyond the present and into the past. "You would know that I never rehearse anything. As a matter of fact, my Second was fond of scolding me for being forever melodramatic and for holding an over fondness of ad-libbing." _

_"My Father... Second Pherr, never spoke ill of you." _

_"Who said I was referring to your father?" Yuan countered coolly, his eyes were like ice. "You are dismissed, Armsmaster. Go back to your salle and the tasks set for you, and leave me alone to pursue my tasks." _

_X _

_"Me? A Second?" Botta laughs in the face of Yuan's spy. Neither never knowing that their Lord is eavesdropping. As with Mithos, Yuan was capable of changing his appearance, and both full grown renegades easily overlook the scrawny adolescent "squire" hovering at the edge of their midst. Seemingly busy fixing a broken magiteck light Yuan watches the magi and warrior out of the corner of his eye. "I'm not even remotely qualified for the position." _

_"But you're not content." The magi puts in smoothly. "Almost every day someone hears out of your mouth the words 'If I were in charge...'" _

_"It's just talk." _

_"Talk that... if rumor is true, Lord Yuan has made use of. Consider the new traps set in the base, the ones that need a magus to bypass. And if I recall properly, you handled that bandit raid superbly. We might of lost the base if you hadn't..." _

_"Enough, the odds of me being Lord Yuan's Second are the same as snow falling in Triet." Botta growls, his face scarlet in embarrassment. "Let it go, Mystin." _

_Lips curled in a wry smile, Yuan twists the wires together with expert precision. Lightning mana snapped across his fingers, leaps from his hand and feeds though the metal wire. The illumination device hummed to grudging life and he nods to himself in satisfaction. _

_"A suitable Second, Mystin." He notes to no one, for no one is present to hear his words. "Perhaps, after I test the bite of his blade, you will find a promotion or vacation as your reward." _

_Rubbing his chin, eyes closed to thin slits, Yuan considers the magi. Ignorant that though the pose of deep thought is intimidating in his adult form in his current adolescent guise, it is ridiculous. Almost comical... Alone, he considers the man's attitude, and his manner, and decides that he doesn't know Mystin well enough to decide for the man which reward he should have. _

_Deciding to let the matter drop, Yuan tucks the loose wires into the metal frame of the device he has been "fixing" and with a thought becomes little more than light. Less then a heartbeat later he shimmers back into existence in his office. Brushing away specks of imaginary dust from his uniform gathered from his quick foray of bypassing physical matter by becoming light. Yuan clambers into his chair, wondering for a moment why it's so damned hard to get situated, and then he remembers. With a laugh that blends the octaves of his childhood and adulthood he casts aside illusion and delusion and the power that bound both to reality with a wave of his hand. _

_Once more himself, Yuan Vor'esse dims his laughter to a mere chuckle and takes his seat upon his desk. There is much to be done, and little time for doing it. But that is always a Renegades lament, and as their leader, even he is not exempt from it. _

_X _

From the edges of his awareness he hears voices murmur in shock. Someone utters his late Second's name in surprise, but he pays the voices no heed. For a second, and only that, the images melt away. They would reform; the maelstroms winds could only falter for a moment, for a heartbeat... but for a second he looks down upon the woman in his arms. He stares into eyes that should have been twin emeralds and sees the tortured soul behind them cast in shades of blue.

Bowing his head, he moves, as if to speak. His lips form words, but the storm rips across them, another tide of memory rises up, and rips the reality between them apart.

And the Serpah's lifeblood, his memories, pool and eddy between them. Time dissolves the bonds between them, time that she must acknowledged, time filled with history she must see.

And the abyss, the hell that had been crafted in her honor -to her horror- it looms above them, unsatisfied. And all action is lost. As they are lost, in the dance of light and sound. It engulfs them once more, and for a time even love is lost to the driving force of a Seraph's memory.


	57. Epilogue part 2

Defiance: Birth of the Renegades

Epilogue: Part 2

To my readers,

Oddly the site has been giving me problems. I had this finished, but on editing I've found that parts of it have been deleated, up to an including the ending I put up three days ago... I've no clue as to what happened, maybe I overstepped the character limit for the site. Anyways, I'm putting this up and I'll re-type and put up the next part as soon as I can.

Kasan Soulblade

It rose like a wave of color, of light, of sound, and it wrenched reality and perspective from them all. Power came to a call, gentle yet absolute in authority. And it made it so that they could only be and endure. Though the sights they endured were not thier own, nor the emotions wrought by actions uncomitted by thier hands falicious. They were real, as real and as false as the power comanded, and wholy not thier own...

For a time they knew that, and nothing more.

Book of Regeneration, closing of a Symphony

"Humans… half elves, elves, they aren't quite pack animal. But there are times I think they're part lemming. One jumps off a cliff, all the others follow. One defies Mithos Yggdrasil, and then they all do. It's certain death, no matter what, but we all just gather up in droves just to…" 

"You're being even _more_ insulting than usual, second's Second." Yuan snapped, his eyes thin slits as he considered the tug and pull of the Falnorian market place. There wasn't much of one. Unlike, say Ozette (where everyone was crazed) the semi-sane people went of Falnoir went _into_ the dwellings of their shopkeepers. Curled around a fire, attacked with charm and endless conversation, they were lulled by heat and talk into a dull stupor then fleeced of whatever money they had on them.

Baring his teeth in a wide wolfish grin, Aroon laughed.

"Well _excuse_ me."

Friendly silence fell between them, and Yuan tugged uncomfortably at his gloved hands. He wasn't wearing his sleek leather gloves, rather thick, woolly, mits that had been stolen this morning. Upon his unexpected arrival -Yggdrasil's surly order that _he_ search Falnoir for the human lab experiment and rouge Seraph while expected, had been particularly unwelcome due to the fact Yuan had _just_ taken some poor young Tethe'allan wild lightning mage under his wing and had _just_ started getting the boy's power under control- Aroon had hastily stolen weather appropriate clothing for his lord. While incapable of feeling the cold, the Seraph didn't want to stand out, doing so might gather unwanted attention. So he endured the mits, and the three layers of clothes, and the thick bearskin cloak... and his soul writhed, for his endurance was little more than a facade. As false as his mortality.

The second I get back, I'm stripping out of these filthy, dead, animal hides and burning them all...

"So just who are we looking for?" Aroon murmured, unwittingly cutting into his Lord's mental tirade.

"Host body A012. Also known as Anna Aurion."

Aroon was shocked. "You mean we're going to abduct Derris Fa Sith's wife, is he mad-"

"He's been mad, for a long time. Don't argue with me, just help me look."

"And what are you going to do when you find them?" Seeing his Lord's annoyance Aroon dropped the nervous smile with a grimace. "Seriously, do I need to run to the other end of Falnoir and bury myself in a snowdrift or something so I don't get burned to a crisp or..."

"When we find them you are going to gather all our agents and pull them out, then I'll approach them, _alone_."

X

Mithos however, had other ideas and would allow his Seraph no peace. Appearing out of darkness, turning it to light, he came out of nothing more than a shadow. Yuan was grimly watching the small cottage in the heart of town when he got the unwelcome _Devine_ visitation. Jerking back in surprise, aghast at the boy- no man's- audacity, Yuan snarled at his _Lord_.

Barely quelling the words "What the hell are _you_ doing here?" Yuan managed a semi-pleasant grunt of acknowledgment. Ignoring his underling, Mithos brushed past him, and Yuan wrinkled his nose in distaste at the gaudy white outfit that Mithos was wearing. Crouching in the snow, the frozen water neither melting due to the Lord of Light's presence nor adhering to the false boy's flesh, Yuan shook his head. Snow coated Yuan's borrowed garments, his breath steamed, and while once upon a time such natural phenomenon would have taken effort to produce Yuan had retrained his alien body to respond to all weather as his old one would have. Mithos stared at the cottage, and it's inhabitance with the avid attention of a starving wolf.

And the world around Mithos did not touch him.

"Rather... weather inappropriate garb, isn't it Mithos?" He managed, at last.

"Yuan, shut up." Not even bothering to lift a hand, Mithos released the muting spell with a shifting of his glare. Yuan felt the nerves in his throat go numb, or rather, he felt the sag of the vocal cords as the nerves to them went dead.

Since Mithos' back was to him Yuan mouthed a one word reply.

Had Mithos turned, had cared or been wise enough to turn he would have seen the hate and rebellion in Yuan's soul.

But Mithos only looked ahead, oblivious to the world that quietly scorned him in a hundred and one way.

X

"_No Yggdrasil, you're on your own." Yuan then nodded to Kratos. "I'm sorry it came to this, I tried to stop it, please trust me when I said I tried my hardest to stop him..."_

_"Get out Yuan, I am in no mood to forgive anything right now."_

Black eyes empty, even of defiance, of hate, of hope, Kratos slumped weakly on his own bed. So dead and numb that he didn't realize that it is Yuan easing him down. Numb with shock, yet able somehow to think, the Seraph considered his soul brothers wide eyed visage. Lips curling into a twisted smile, he considered the irony. It seems as if fate has damned them both to love and to lose those they love.

"Anna..."

Croaking the name of his beloved, in the delusioned hope that saying it might bring her back, Kratos curled onto the bed. Oblivious to his wings, to the pain of his weight crushing them, the Lord of Death curled upon himself. The motion was reminiscent of a man folding over the spear that steals his life.

But this was a spear that, though someday might be withdrawn, would pierce the flesh again and again. The wound would bleed, and never cease bleeding, for every waking moment of his hellish eternity Kratos must fight down the memories of his beloved to function. He would have to, for all of his days. To this, Yuan could personally testify to, it's the same hell he's endured since Rene died over two thousand years ago.

X

He was vulnerable, weak, near death... and you didn't..." Vince sliced the air above his neck with one digit and then flinched back from his Lord's blazing glare. "I mean... with... well..." 

"Such soulless practicality befits our enemy, which, we are not." Tossing his long black mane proudly, Jerick, head of the magi growls his defiance. He cooly brushes Vince's suggestion from the air around them with a flick of his hand. "It's a constant struggle, spacing compassion with practicality, but we must continue to do so, else we become like them."

Ignoring the magi's melodrama, Botta nodded. Agreed to all that Jerick said without the pompous show.

"We aren't Cruxis. Despite..." Botta's lips curled into a humored smile. "...our lord's unfortunate ties to the-so-called Devine parties which the Renegades wage war with."

Thin eyes glitter, then silently, the current head of Tethe'allan government espionage nodded. Her slanted eyes show their Mizuhoian blood and not the taint of conflicting blood as the rest present possessed. She was the first human female to date on the council, and unlike all the other women Yuan had promoted to council she wasn't infatuated with him. Had Botta not panned out so well, she was high on Yuan's list of those to promote. He mentally toyed around with the idea of her as Second, and Botta seeing his Lord's wandering attention -and gaze- firmly kicked him under the table.

"Eyes _up_, Sir." Botta hissed under his breath, the stern Second's eyes glimmered with amusement.

"They _are_ up." Yuan hissed, shifting his leg out of Botta' reach.

"Higher, then." Botta growled back.

"Botta-" Nursing his smarting leg, Yuan glared at the air in front of him, his lips scarcely moving as he spoke in tones that made the brave quake. "-shut up."

Oblivious to his Lord's venom, Botta continued to berate his lord under his breath, knowing damned well Yuan would hear every word.

"Martel wouldn't approve of you ogling some other wo-"

Yuan's answering kick made the table hop, and caused Botta to howl in pain. Cups of coffee, tea, and his glass of water hopped and spilled on the mess of papers scattered before the assembled Renegades. Glares from slanted eyes of every hue imaginable snapped on him. Under that raw malovance Yuan paled and stuttered some excuse that -by the looks of cynicalism all around- rang false to the ears of his subcommanders.

"I understand you are friends... my Lord." The Mizuhoian Renegade said with an ice rimmed smile. "But please refrain from the male stupidity of... how do those of Sylvarant put it?" Thin lips turned down into a frown, then curled back into the form of a mocking smile as the words came to her. "Your _rough housing_, limit it to off time."

"And try not to kill each other while you're at it." Vince added darkly, giving the pale and shaken Botta a concerned look.

Hissing a multitude of profanities into his beard, Botta was curled -as much as the long table would allow- nearly in half. Both arms were clutching at his knee.

"Tell me," Green eyes were thin slits, as the young man in long white robes considered the writhing Botta. "-that you did not just break Lord Botta's leg as a bad response to some bawdy joke?"

In response to the head medic's question Yuan shrugged, and scooted back, so the man could come forward and heal Botta without the Seraph breathing down his neck.

X

"_'A thread of unraveling if you will_.'" Frowning Botta looked up from his report on the desk. To his scrutiny Yuan shrugged, and looked away. "Sir, with all due respect, you promised all of us you'd stop reading Harringway."

Silence stretched between them, Yuan's tense... prickly, the Second's was cool, with a touch of exasperation to it. Finally Yuan let his lips curl into a half smile, and sighed.

"Did I promise?"

It was ironic that he was being called on such a minuscule thing. With the near perfect compatibility of Sylvarant's chosen to Martel looming above them like a cloud, the book seemed insignificant. With the discovery of Aurion's boy being alive, well, and -in Yuan's mind this was the worst part- in the company of his father... Still, Yuan decided to play along. He turned his chair about so he was better facing his second -The wonders of the swivel chair, no longer having to pick it up to move it, or torture his ears with infernal scraping. Yes, he knew that Magnius had a hovering swerving couch, but Yuan had grown fond of less than modern chair- and raised an eyebrow.

"Our world is falling apart, and you're nattering me about a _book_?"

"My sanity might fall apart if I hear you quote any more Harringway. Think of your own melodramatic lines, my Lord, don't steal them from others."

Dropping the pompous ass pose, Yuan leaned back into his chair, his azure eyes mere slits.

"What's really bothering you, Botta?"

Steel hued eyes dropped, studied the floor, and color mounted the Renegades face. It was rare that Botta would come to Yuan just to talk, while it was one of a Second's duties they were so busy that it was often a neglected one. Loneliness, one man's no matter how powerful that man was, was irrelevant in the face of this war they were in. Yuan had said as much to his Second often, to _all_ his Seconds, and only one had truly disagreed with that decree. Only one had really defied him, and she had died a long time ago.

"Pre-mission jitters, I suppose, my L- Yuan..."

"Definitely, if you're backsliding that badly. You're more than just shaken, if I'm any judge. You've fought those of Cruxis before," Leaning forward, the Seraph's tone persuaded Botta to lift his gaze. Blue met silver, and that gaze alone was to reaffirm a friendship sometimes lost in the face of their grim duty. "-how is this different?"

And Botta knew, from tone and gaze, that Yuan wasn't asking as his lord, but as his friend. Weary, the older looking man slumped into the chair, and let the barriers of pride down at long last. He was pale, almost shaking.

"Against Yggdrasil, while he still has the Sword? While he's at full power? It scares me." Botta admitted the next with a grimace that was oddly contrasted by the real fear that shone in those eyes. "And I hate myself, for being scared, for being a coward."

"Rene was terrified." Yuan said quietly. "Always afraid they'd take her back, torture her."

Botta knew, he was one of the few who had been told the truth of his first Second, and how Bryan Collens had been his second Second. The steel eyed man knew the how and why behind Rene. That confession was years old, but the pain of the telling was raw, the wounds never healed. They never would, because the only slave to pain in his current existence was forgetting, and he would never forget her.

"Yet she fought, through the pain, the terror, even as she died. Do you know, one of the last things she said to me before Mithos murdered her? I asked her... how she stood being so afraid, knowing that she was going to die." Lifting his hand, he twined his fingers on air, seeing for a moment threads of deepest green between his fingers. He only lowered his hand when the shaking became so bad that Botta looked concern. "She.. she said "I_ will die anyways. If not here, somewhere else. I'm not scared of death, but dying_." it's the pain that she was scared of. It's the pain you are scared of, and what will happen to those you know after you're gone, isn't it?"

Botta nodded, he looked shamed, and Yuan's lips curled into a faint smile.

"It's universal, I'm afraid. And baring a fit of amnesia on your part or a great deal of blunt head trauma you're always going to have that fear."

"You're not offering much comfort, Yuan." Despite himself Botta's lips curled into a thin smile, and the Renegade Lord chuckled in response.

"No, I'm not. Comforting lies, platitudes, we've all had enough of that I think. But consider this. All you have to fear is Mithos. He's a little unbalanced, vicious, but you're mortal and you'll die eventually no matter what he does. Now with Kratos... I'm a fairly good judge of insanity and Kratos definitely has that trait coupled with overprotectiveness, emotional dependancy, and a homicidal streak that's a mile wide. Now consider that, and what he is going to do to me after he sees me with a knife at his beloved son's throat..."

Botta laughed, and Yuan grimaced. After all, the laughter was at his expense. Still the expression was quick to pass, and he doubted that his nervous Second had even noticed it.

"Shall, we have the janitorial staff on hand during the prisoner exchange, Yuan?" Botta quipped.

Images of Renegades flanking the sides of a long hall, not holding crossbows and swords but armed with mops and buckets, crossed his mind with startling clarity. Yuan swallowed down his own chuckle and managed a half grin.

"I think a dust pan and broom will be sufficient enough in disposing of my remains after Kratos is done."

"But think of the walls!"

Leaning forward, eyes turned to thin slits, the Seraph leaned forward. His face a facade of cool impassive anger, it was utterly false, and Botta damn well knew it. Still, image -no habit- dictated he glare at his underling. With a roll of his eyes at his Lord's melodrama Botta got to his feet and made his way to the door.

"You won't have one standing." The Second warned as he reached the thresh-hold.

"There is the door, Second Botta, make use of it."

"Yes_ sir_."

Snapping his teeth to bite back on an instinctual comeback, Yuan let the sarcasm pass with little more than a raised eyebrow. Seeing the look, knowing he was being spared a scathing retort, Botta turned on his heel to offer a parting bow that was more sarcasm than anything else. Alone, Yuan laughed, and after a suitable span dimmed his laughter to a chuckle. With a shake of his head he set his mask of superiority and irritability in place and bent over some paperwork on his desk. He had a meeting coming up with his Trietian subcommanders soon, and he had to be ready to act the part of Renegade Seraph Lord Vor'esse.

X

"I don't care what you do to the prisoners." Yuan snapped, his patience spent. He didn't want to hear about these new prisoners anymore. He wanted to get to the hellish task of informing Mes. Larn that her husband had been one of the casualties in the brief skirmish with Cruxis over with. Then he wanted to have his Second alone for five seconds so he could properly throttle the man for going _into_ the tower of Salvation without informing him before hand. "Tie them up, gag them, and put them in separate cells for all I c-"

"One's in critical condition, suffering a sword thrust in the stomach and a number of burns of varying severity-" The medic continued. Heartened when Yuan actually stopped and stared blankly ahead. It wasn't concern, or rather concern for the prisoner that had stopped his hasty withdrawal from the medic's office. Those were odd wounds for a fight against humans. Had one of his magi gone overboard in blood lust during a fight, or was it a sign that one of the Cardinals had finally planted a spy within his own? "His name is Lloyd Irv-"

"Lloyd!" Yuan nearly hopped a foot in the air. His wings materialized behind him as his shock was so complete that he lost all control over his form. "Lloyd _Irving_! Kratos' boy? I want all of them in the med center immediately. What ever they need tend to them, we can't let one of them die."

Startled by his Lord's sudden compassionate turn the medic was hesitant, weary... But he had the backing he wanted, and after spending a moment trying to read the blue haired man's expression the renegade medic departed. Unsatisfied, but disturbed by the storm of thought brewing in the Seraph's eyes.

X

"Name?"

Squirming, the silver haired boy shifted in the chair and remained quiet. Seated before the grim unblinking blue haired half elf the boy exuded his discomfort in nearly palpable waves. Yuan snorted, as if to banish the smell of the boy's fear from his nostrils. He looked up from the paperwork that he was filling out to pin the child with a long look. The silence had gone on long enough for his taste, and he was neigh onto immortal.

"If you remain silent I'll just put in a number on the paper."

"How _Desian _of you." The child snapped sulkily.

"If I were a Desian you would be on a table being tortured, your tongue cut out hours ago after you swore at my guards, and your hands cut off for attempting to escape."

"Liar."

"You're the one who razed two Desian camps and raided another out of spite. You know how they operate by now, don't you? Have you seen or even heard of one torture chamber, seen one person mutilated, tortured, beaten, even after your stupid "I'll try to escape" stunt?" Raising a hand Yuan rubbed his throbbing forehead. "I've interviewed your sister, your human friends, you are the last on my list, and I've other _more important_ things to do but trade insults with a child."

"Like what?" Genis spat. "To lead your men out to kill a few humans?"

Lips quirking into a thin smile, Yuan stared down at the boy. "_You... neutral half elves_, you're all so... arrogant." He sneered.

"Well _you Desian's_ are just a pack of homicidal bas-."

Something in the back of Yuan's mind snapped. His gloved fingers clenched around the edge of the clip board, blood mounted to his cheeks with enough force to tell him he was fast turning a interesting crimson hue. Eyes blazing, tasting and smelling ozone in the air about him, he held the storms of his soul back. By the length of a hair's width... With careful slowness he stood, and set the clip board down on the stool that he had been sitting on. Lightning mana licked around his fingers, he could feel it pressed against his brow. With a whimper Geins cringed back, his silver streaked blue eyes wide, full with terror.

It was that open show of fear, and only that, which held Yuan in check. With slow, deliberate, care, he gathered and dispersed his power. Silently he picked up the paperwork and walked past the shivering child. At the door leading out of the cell Yuan paused, considered saying something, perhaps apologizing. At length he decided that perhaps silence was the best option of all and left without another word.

X

Days later, well past the quarantine period, he skimmed the report that the medic had left for him. This rag tag band of Sylvarantians were all recovering from near fatal wounds. Shaking his head he sighed. What the hell could Kratos have been thinking? He'd nearly killed them all.

Only fast treatment and some miracle had made it remotely possible for the Fujibayashu girl to be walking again, as for the half elf healer Ms. Sage, whether of not she'd be able to rise from her bed much less walk was something yet to be seen... Lloyd, Kratos' own son, was dealing with the horrid recovery of a sword thrust to the gut, and yes, while Kratos had missed the vital organs -by mere centimeters in some cases- such a wound rarely healed cleanly. And even if it did heal cleanly the pain of the healing would be as crippling as the wound itself.

But then consider the alternative, the group's death at Yggdrasil's hands. In Kratos' twisted mind perhaps he had been doing them some service. Death, even a dragged out one by the sword, was preferable to the hells Yggdrasil would have wrought. Looking back, wouldn't he have rather slashed Rene's throat with his own hands rather than see her in Mithos' clutches? On foresight he might have killed her himself to spare her the tortured death she'd endured. Maybe. But to have killed her would have been to deny himself the thinnest of hope, and it would have meant her blood was on his hands...

Shaking his head, forcing the macabre throughts from his mind, Yuan stood, pushed away from his desk.

As if by doing so he could distance himself from his sins, his failings...

He stood, clenching his hands into fists.

To hide the fact that they shook...

There was a knock on his door, and Yuan hastily threw himself back into his chair. Botta would have his hide if any of the men reported that he'd been pacing his office again like a caged beast. Control, he always must appear to be in control, no matter the crisis that threatened the organization, and this rise of unaffiliated, rebellious, youngsters shouldn't have been enough to shake him this bad.

Perhaps, like his Second, he was feeling change in his bones. He felt as if some small quake would bring down the order of his world and he was shaking in terror for that change. Change meant death, but in turn it offered a chance for a better life. He feared change, perhaps in that he and Mithos weren't so different. Taking a deep breath to compose himself he stared at the air in front of him, and assumed a slightly irritated expression. As his face fell into familiar -if false- lines of annoyance, it was easier for his voice to follow suit.

"What is it?"

"Visitor, one of the new ones, sir."

Fujibayashu? Come to give a report? In her state she shouldn't have been able to make the trip. Curiosity made him cock his head as he considered that possibility in full and discarded it. His keen ears picked up the sound of shuffling feet, an obvious sign of unease, and he smirked. Mort- no... unaltered half elves were an impatient, skittish, lot, he decided. With a slightly condescending smile gracing his lips, he nodded, though no one could see him.

"Let him... or her, in Sky. Then go to break. You've been out there how many hours?"

The only reply he got was a chuckle, and a growled threat of "call him your lordship, runt". With a clink of steel shoed feet to mark his leave taking, Sky trotted off. Curious now, Yuan assumed his most board expression and leaned back into his chair, kicking his feet up a little. Before he could even begin to explain how to open the door -a feat that would have been beyond most of the people of Sylvarant- the door hissed open on it's own, and his visitor stepped in.

He nearly lost his jaw as a hesitant, pale, Genis Sage slipped into his office with the air of a whipped dog about him. Only four millennia's of life gave him enough control over himself to keep his mouth from sagging open. He blinked, only that, and considered the boy with his thin slit eyes. With a wave of a hand he pointed out the chair, and watched with some humor as Genis dragged it over to the desk and took the seat and position Rene had once favored.

Perhaps, in that... all children were universal...

Holding back the tide of memories. Knowing well the seduction of the warmth and old love tinged with the anger and frustration that came from an untimely death, Yuan sighed, and stared at the child before him. It was with some satisfaction, he noted, that someone had garbed the boy in new clothes. Though the boy's natural pallor made black the least flattering of colors it was at least clean.

Another bonus was that the boy's clothes was not blood stained, grim smeared, and bearing witness to more sword slashes, singe marks from spells, and other testaments of violence and war than Yuan could have counted. While normally such things wouldn't have bothered him, it made him think of the war. There was something about all of the new comers that stroked old memories of that dark time.

"I..." Licking his lips, Genis lowered his eyes, finally breaking the gaze lock that had been stretching out for the many long minutes Yuan had been hovering between reminiscence and thought. "They let us out, yesterday. I was.. invited to... look around. To make my own judgements on what was going on, and to visit my sister."

That was not what he expected, raising an eyebrow to convey his surprise Yuan stared at the boy for a while. After a proper span he let the thin line of hair drop to it's customary place. Yuan clasped his hands together and rested his chin upon his knuckles. "As I tried to tell you before you nearly provoked me to incinerate you, we aren't Desians. But, I imagine your freedom has shown you that more than my empty platitudes."

Genis nodded, a strand of silver hair fell into his eyes. Pushing it back, the boy grimaced, as if thinking that he needed a hair cut. If so the child's and Yuan's thoughts were running on the same track.

"Are you proud... that you're a half elf?"

Yuan, froze. So shocked he stopped breathing and actually showed his surprise without a surplus of grace that had become his trademark amongst the Renegade. The boy watched his expression twist into surprise with impassive blue eyes. At last, Yuan nodded, and watched with no small astonishment as this child that had so easily surprised him seemed to crumple into himself. The facade of confidence, knowledge, fell away to revel a frightened child that had seen his world cave in around him. Looking into that suddenly wounded soul Yuan knew without knowing how, that if anything else, the child was not proud of his birth. Genis had bought the lies, the lies of tainted blood and inferiority, and that knowledge shone in the light of the tears that sprung to those young eyes.

Slowly, with some small fear of some arcane retribution -comforting a half elf... or any magi was risky at best, since in the throes of emotion mana came the easiest- Yuan stood and walked around his desk. So shaken, more torn by his souls pain than fear of being hurt by "the desian lord", Genis allowed Yuan to kneel by him and gently drape an arm around his shoulders.

That gesture of comfort was what broke the dam, and the tears came out in a torrent.

X

"Moody adolescent half elves, it's all I get on my door step these days..." Yuan grumbled under his breath. His personal guard, Skyian Fallenblood snorted, he'd been one of those "boys" that Yuan had taken in. It had happened so many years ago most didn't know why or the how of the two lightning magi's friendship.

"Magnetism."

"Sky, shut up."

"Yes, sir." Sky saluted smartly, his frank gaze made the gesture more sarcasm than respect. "Message from med center by the way. The Irving boy's up and about."

"Good," Yuan grunted. "Bring them in to my office after summoning the Trietian sub-commanders."

"Granted, he looks like a mummy with all the bandages..."

Yuan sighed, waited for the slightly scolding silence that Sky favored him to change to discomfort. At last, when the man squirmed under the Seraph's steady gaze, Yuan shook his head.

"Sky, you're a companionate man, I require that for my soldiers and personally applaud the trait, but don't get attached to the humans. Especially the Irving boy."

Unlike Botta, Sky wasn't aware of all the going ons in the Renegades. That was something Sky had requested. Even after the both radically different lightning magi had hesitantly -or rather after Yuan had hesitantly admired to what Sky was ramming down his throat- admitted to their friendship, Sky had insisted on some distance. To quote Sky; he liked Yuan the Renegade, but found Lord Vor'esse and a number of Vor'esse's decisions a little cold blooded for his taste. Sensing Sky's curiosity Yuan shook his head, pitying the compassionate man. A man who insisted on a level of ignorance, claiming that ignorance in small doses -large doses would have had the man culled from the Renegades or killed within a year- was bliss.

"You're going to kill, the Irving boy?" The question was forced past a barrier of gritted teeth.

"No." Yuan answered, his lips curling into a half smile. A dark smile for a lie, a fair trade for all. "I hardly need to, his father seems hell bent on doing it for me. This is going to be for his protection, though the boy won't like it."

Recalling his training at Yuan's hands, and the taming of the wild power that had nearly driven him mad and killed many people, Sky was well aware that if Yuan said the boy wouldn't like it, he meant it.

"You won't hurt him." Sky pressed.

"I never made a promise I couldn't keep. I never promised you that, even when you were a child, remember?" Yuan was walking, and Sky had to break into a quick jog to avoid having the door close in his face.

Sky nodded, his short cropped brown and blue hair fell into his eyes. Ignoring the visual barrier, the guard kept pace with his lord, at least until Yuan gave him a long look that indicated that said without words their paths were splitting.

"Oh ummm..."

"The sub-commanders, than the prisoners, and fetch Botta while you're at it." Yuan reminded the man with a smirk. "Mortals." The Seraph sighed in mock despair, he paused long enough to roll his eyes before disappearing in a flash of light.

X

"The Genis boy... He approached you and asked to join the Renegades, didn't he?" Botta asked, once his commander had cooled his temper enough to be safe to approach.

"Yes!" Yuan snapped, small stars of lightning snapped around his fingers.

"You showed him the base?" Botta quiered.

"Yes!" Yuan roared. "And I showed him the damned Rhieard chamber and I explained the controls to him. I didn't realize that he'd memorize everything I said the first time around! I underestimated him, and Kratos' brat, and that damned traitorous Mizuhoian witch! I already was reemed out by an infuriated sub-commander of defense and the armsmaster here, I don't need another lec-"

"The witch, Sheena, she's the one who summoned Undine to fight Mithos, in the Tower." Botta cut in, knowing his lord would rant and rave for hours if given enough leash to do so. While he'd never seen Yuan in this state, Rene had. She'd left a document on how to deal with Yuan's rages in a book that every Second was ordered to read. A book that Yuan still, even though it was two thousand years after the girl's death, couldn't bear to look at.

Slowly, as if waking from a dream, Yuan lifted his face from his hands and released hair that he hadn't realized he'd been pulling. The hands shook, and shook badly.

"She did what?"

She summoned undine. Though the words weren't spoken they hung between the Renegade Lord and Second. Fires ignighted in Yuan's eyes, than dimmed to mere embers cast in shades of blue.

But the embers were still there, cast in blue, and Botta remembered, that the hottest flame was blue.

And he was not comforted.

X

A summoner... Yuan looked at Sheena with more respect then he had on that distant day he had briefed her on her mission for the king of Tethe'alla. Never mind her Mizuhian robe was slashed to ribons around the ankle by some monster's reaching claw, that blood trickled from a gash above her head. He watched her, than considered the boy who called himself Lloyd Irving. Those brown eyes, once warm and open were closed and shuttered in the face of an enemy. Hard learned was caution to the carefree. Bitter defeat and a new quiet resolve had made this child into the mirror image of his father. Pulling several strands of rebellious blue away from his eyes he nodded to his men, they gathered the remains of the steel falcons, and were to depart. He'd oversee the collection of Kratos' boy and the summoner himself.

A flash of midnight shadow on the edge of his vision made him turn. Pronyma was up and about it seemed. He suppressed a smile as he studied her from the corner of his eyes. She was torn and bloody, her mace split in twain and blood dribbled from a long cut that can across the palm of her hand. Yuan's estimation of Lloyd's swordsmanship skills and overall strength went up a few notches. He wrinkled his nose as if offended by the smell of the mortal half elf's blood and turned away when she moved to approach him.

"Clean up this mess." He mock barked at his men. They looked up as one and covertly studied his hands. After seeing no tell tale twitches to his fingers that could convey much and _would_ convey orders to kill Mithos' pet bitch if she crossed him, they went back to work.

He walked around the edge of his trap, brown eyes filled with equal parts of frustration and determination made him smirk. He couldn't help himself. It was as if Lloyd was some purer image of his father, cleansed of all the hate that had brought his sire down. He walked along the edge of the trap, and paused, only briefly, to look at the form of a soulless eyes pink haired girl. Yuan made a note to find out who she was, then his view of the child was blocked off by Genis Sage. He met the short prisoner's eyes fearlessly, neither one backed down for a long span. A flash of red, on the edge of his vision made him break the contest of will prematurely. Yuan whipped around and stared in shock at the Chosen for a heartbeat, -it wasn't part of the plan for Zelos to get caught in the trap or even be present!- but control asserted itself and he carefully set his face into a mask of indifference.

"Sir!"

At the call from one of his men, Yuan turned his back on the human and half elf captives his trap had gathered him and saw that Mithos' tattooed she-dog was bothering one of his soldiers. With an annoyed sigh he stepped between the man and woman, giving the woman a Kratos inspired glare of death.

"She was trying to take the Sylvarant Chosen, sir." The guard reported quietly.

"Excellent work, Brings, go back to your duty now. I've the situation in hand."

Bring bowed, and noted how his lords fingers curled ever so slightly then twitched. The soldier all but ran to his sector, and went straight to his superior officer. Men who had been working drew knives and hidden crossbows from phony engineer's supply packs.

"My trap. My prisoners." Yuan snapped, as if he were speaking to a slow child and not Mithos' right hand shadow magus. "Stay out of my business."

"Give me a reason to." Pronyma purred. Walking towards him with an oozing half step that repelled rather than attracted his attentions. A whistle of appreciation from Zelos told him that his discerning taste in woman wasn't universal. Before she could set a hand on his shoulder in a familiar fashion he stepped back and snarled. Her brow furrowed in annoyance, and her face settled into a brisk mask that did little to hide her hurt at his refusal. "She is Lord Yggdrasil's property."

"Like I said, give me a good reason." He snapped his fingers, and she turned, now aware of five crossbowmen had pointed their weapons of choice at her from five different directions. Naked steel arrow tips gleamed in the sun, as well as an assortment of sword edges and one steel topped staff. The weapons wouldn't hurt him, and she was well aware of the fact that only a weapon of arcane power or a weapon of nature driven by titanic force could even draw his blood.

"Conniving bastard, aren't you?" Pronyma hissed, her green eyes blazing with rage.

Yuan decided to take that as a complement, and he managed a mocking bow. "Thank you."

"You'll kill the girl."

"She isn't relevant. If Yggdrasil losses his pet project, all the better." Silence fell between them, and Yuan quietly considered what he'd said. She could mark him as a traitor by his words alone. That was dangerous, perhaps it was best to throw the lamb to the wolf. It wasn't much of a sacrifice after all, it was what the girl had probably wanted. "However, considering Martel's life hinges on the Chosen ritual, you may have her-"

"How very generous..." Pronyma began.

"-if you take her, and yourself, and leave. Immediately."

Pronyma's reply was silence that ended in a nod. She slipped around him -spending a moment to admire his form from the corner of her eye- and walked to Sylvarant's chosen. Cold eyes flicked across the soul less girl's form, Pronyma's glare and casual toss of her green hued locks made it obvious to Yuan that he woman thought herself to be the better looking of the two. Snorting at the woman's vanity Yuan turned from her, nodded to his men, crossbows were quietly put down and tools taken up again. He was so interested in watching his men salvage the bashed remains of his Rhieards that he almost missed it. Hearing the woman mutter something about a ugly crest marring her prize he turned. Than in a show of gross stupidity fueled more than vanity than anything else, Pronyma reached to rip the ore necklace from the Chosen's neck. Slender hands reached for the make-shift key crest, and those once empty eyes opened and closed of their own violation.

Pronyma shrieked and staggered back, even as the chosen's now blue eyes cleared and looked at the mountain top in complete bafflement.

Yuan's mouth sagged open in shock. Impossible. Colette couldn't have woken, the soulless never came back...

Save that she had, and with clearing eyes and hardening resolve she looked around her and drew those silly throwing rings she favored. Much to the Renegade leader's amusement, the girl brushed past Pronyma like she didn't matter and attacked the glowing yellow wall that served as the defyer's of Cruxis' prison. After a few slashes she dropped the rings and bent down to see if she could get a hand hold and lift it up. She stood, brushed off her leggings, and frowned. It was a stupidity on the girl's part, to be certain, even now Pronyma was gathering herself, ready to grab the child. Oblivious to her growing peril, her eyes only for the red clad Iseliean. Colette had drawn her pink wings from sheer joy on hearing he was "fine" and looked to be ready to fly into the cage just to hug him.

He'd never had a captive walk into the cage before, and held his men back with a waved hand. He wanted to see this, just to rub in Kratos' face how wrong the man's report was on these Sylvarantian children. To quote the report Kratos had described the Chosen of Sylvarant as;_ intelligent, despite her ignorance of the cruelty of the world_. Yuan snorted, Kratos had given the girl far too much credit.

As if some god was bent on proving Yuan wrong the girl managed one quick attemped hug -the cage made it difficult to say the least- and looked around as if seeking the device that held the mana field stable. Pronyma pounced then, roughly grabing the girl's arm.

"You are an oddity, aren't you my dear? Still, Yggdrasil will find some use in you as vess-"

Before Yuan could even move to take control of the situation that had ceased to be comical and might prove dangerous -a dark spell could do him harm and his men might get caugh and killed by the crossfire of a confrontation between him and Pronyma- gravity took matters out of everyone's hands. With a twist of her wrist Colette wrenched free of Pronyma, made a hammer of bright red hue materialize out of nothingness, and raised it over her head in a threatening manner. Pronyma managed a sneer at the weapons' appearance, stepped forward, and the girl stepped back... and tripped.

With a loud thud, the girl landed on top of the arcane cage's generator. Small sparks spat out of the device, as well as a thin plume of smoke to mark the magi-tech devices passing from this world.

"Sir?" Brings had crept forward to stand at his left. "Orders?"

"Remind me to kill head of magi-tech development."

"Yes sir, but on the more immediate matter..."

"After they're done killing Pronyma approach them and shoot to wound, cripple, but refrain from killing. We'll take them back to the local base. Until then, sit back and enjoy the show, captain."

Despite the expression screening helm and the fact that Yuan had his back to him, Yuan was sure that Brings smiled.

"Yes sir."

X

"You know." An anonymous nurse noted cooly as she wound his head in bandages and absently checked the bloody bandages wrapped around his mid section. "If you really are feeling deprived of a pin cushion I could have on of the women lend one to you."

His side ached from the Irving boy's sword thrust, the Chosen of Sylvarant had gone on a wild hammer throwing spree after clonking the rouge Seraph upside the head. The old wound Kratos had inflicted on him in Hima had been reopened when he'd dove out of range of one of the younger Sage's Eruption spell...

"Tell me, madam, do you bear any relation to a lady named Feruon?"

"Haven't heard of her."

Feeling suddenly the weight of his four thousand years, Yuan sighed. "Who has?"

X

"You saw the homing device?"

"Yes." Yuan sighed. He wished for medicine that would sooth his head and settled for rubbing his temples as the head of security of the Tethe'allan base continued to follow him and fret.

"It's Mizuhoian..." The retired warrior hinted.

"No, really? I thought it was Iselian." Yuan snapped.

Sarcasm was lost on the underlings. Paling, cringing, the man winced back as if Yuan had wielded a cat o nine tales or some other torturous instrument. Yuan decided to ignore the man and just go into his office and lock the door. Not exactly the brightest of Renegades, the man started to follow to whine and hand wring some more. The steel door slamming in his face was something of a detriment to that plan. At last, alone in his office, Yuan limped to the desk and sunk into it's acompying chair with a sigh.

His desk had been cleared, and some thoughtful underling had left the most important piece of paperwork on his desk.

Alone, with his thoughts and the missive from Zelos Wilder, Yuan found solace from the world for a time by setting his hands against his face and closing his eyes. It wasn't sleep, it wasn't oblivion, but perhaps by not seeing the problem, for just a little, he could be granted some peace.

It never worked, but he never stopped trying.

X

Swallow smashed against twin long swords. Snarling, Yuan shoved back hard and wasn't too surprised to see that his strength was met with matched by the boy's stubbornness. Baring his teeth in a grin, he summoned a bit of mana to crawl along the ornate edges of his weapon. That made the boy hop back... in shock. The pun was inevitable of course, but after living so long he found it more amusing than annoying. It was familiar, almost like seeing an old friend...

"You think this would be easy boy?" Yuan panted. "You thought it would be as simple as walking in and just taking them away. I'm no fool."

Lloyd grunted, used the reprieve that Yuan's words offered to wipe away the blood that driblbed down a nick and into his eyes. Botta was holding his own against Tethe'alla's Chosen, the elder Sage's magics, and the pink haired axe-woman. Yuan was fighting against the younger Sage, Kratos' boy, and a man wearing shackles. The blue haired convict was slowly crawling to his feet -a difficult feet wearing shackles, made more so by a long swallow born wound that ran down his right thigh- and Yuan lifted a hand to summon lightning.

"It's over boy."

And with that he released a bolt of lightning.

Times before Yuan had cast bolts and watched with a mingling of respect and sympathy pain while Kratos' boy had swatted lightning bolts aside like they were cross bow bolts. The boy was relying on the rune encrusted dragon tooth swords to take the blunt of the blow. And it had worked, while Yuan had been holding the blows in check. At full power they would melt the steel, and the reminants of volts mana that the swrod's runes held in check would blossem out into a blow that was neither expected nor could be countered. The weapon that Lloyd had used to shear through Botta's spells meant to support his Lord would be extinguished and it would be over in a matter of moments.

Granted, he'd thought that before when casting indignation judgment. When the blade of his rage melded with the light of the heavens and the Volt-esk power of his soul... The steel plates that served as a floor for the Rhieard chamber were warped, some were pure liquid, others hissed and spat as stray bolts of lightning danced across thier soot covered surfaces like listless serpents.

He'd thought it over then, thought it over when Botta had cast a spell that had caused the earth itself to buck and heave and cast ripping tearing stones into the air and leave horrid slashes along the intruders. He'd thought it over when Botta's earth warping powers caused part of the overhanging balcony to crash down on the young spell caster's head. He'd thought it over when Zelos had colaspsed at his feet, torn and bleeding... Yuan had considered the matter settled when the half elf healer had taken an Indignation spell unshielded.

This time, despite his boasts and claims, he realized it _was_ over. When Genis cast a lightning spell and met power for power he realized it was over. The Sage boy was as good a spell caster as a Seraph was. Despite the child's lack of control, the lack of refinement, on a power to power basis... the silver haired child was Yuan's equal.

Before he could act on this realization, the Seraph felt the earth pitch under his feet. Metal creaked, the walls around him developed an alarming array of cracks. He whiped his head to gape at Botta, some corner of his mind was piecing together a reprimand to deliver to his Second for causing so great a geological siezure that the base's structure would be in danger...

He turned in time, all of his harrasers turned in time, to watch a shard of earth larger than an oak tree burst into being under the Second's feet. Second went flying one way, little homocidal ax-girl went the other.

And sea water began to gush into the chamber, the planet's life blood brought in by the spear cast of and by the earth.

Eyes wide, dazed... no staggering, Kratos' son took one look at the base's walls, one look at Yuan's stupor, and made a lightning fast descision.

"Everyone, run for it!"

But instead of running for the sanctuary of the base like nice little idiot humans they ran for the Rhieards.

"Over my dead body!" Yuan howled, seeing the lot of them almost to the steel falcons. He chased after them, mainly after the Irving brat. His wings aided his leap, and he managed to clamp himself down on the red rhieard as Kratos' son mounted up on the avian based magi-tech. The human's brown eyes went wide in horror as he realized that he had a passanger and just who that passanger was. "We're not done yet boy!" Yuan grunted, trying to pull himself up on the wing.

Lifting his sword Lloyd growled right back at him. "Oh yes we are!"

Lloyd then proceeded to bludgen him in hopes of making him let go. Yuan grinned, blinked away the blood and the pain, and smirked. This would be too easy.

Then, as if to spite him, the Sage boy hit the ignition and Yuan took a full blast of magi-tech fire to the gut. His grip slipped, just a litlle and Irving smiled down at him.

"Problems, Yuna?"

Remembering how Kratos had called him that in the war and how much he hated the nick-name Yuan snarled at Kratos' son. He managed to hold on whilst they were in flight for a half minuete, before his grip finally gave way.

X

"I wish Yashin were alive. He'd grasp this in a heartbeat, have ideas, and be willing to counter my theory with something besides ignorance." Yuan mumbled to himself in angelic. Perhaps his mumbling and half voiced complaints caused some perplection to the current head of magi-tech development. Probably not, the man while wise in current theories and the like was thicker than two planks when it came to new discoveries.

And hearing that at each "spirit's altar" was not a congelation of one specific mana waiting to be harvested, but a sentient entity, while not exactly new was something of a discovery to this rather short sighted magi. Limited by the material, obsessed with cause and effect and doing his damndest to purge from all renegade literature that there was such an idea of spirits the current head of magi-tech was treading a thin line between execution and being fired.

"Sir." Looking at his lord as if he was _very_ concerned, the man set aside the report Yuan had penned and stared his superior in the eyes. "If... what I'm reading is right, you are telling me that every magus ever born is... blessed by beings that don't exist. Are you... feeling alright, my lord?"

Yuan flinched back from the man's hand, that if allowed would have checked his tempratre. After being forcefully dislodged from the younger Aurion's stolen Rheiard -a sword blow over the head multiple times coupled with the below freezing weather that was the norm of the Falnoir region could lead to the condition of temporary paralysis of shock even despite his Seraph constitution- his head hurt. Add to that that Botta had recoiled from his Lord's touch when the Seraph had tried to tend him... He must be freezing, literally, for Botta wasn't a man to complain about a little chill touch.

His deteriating temper coupled with the steady throbbing upon his skull where knots probably were forming, made his self control slacken, just a bit. This fast becoming clear meaningless conference with a complete incompetent, the nessecity of it to be held in the medics wing, only reminded him of his defeat. Defeat at the hands of rag tag group of _children._ He seethed, and perhaps his control slipped more than just a little.

"I'm feeling perfectly fine for a man who's lived for four thousand years, seen and fought such "imaginary beings", ended a war struck up by two selfish countries that weren't satisfied with "the limited hypothetical force of mana", watched the world get divided by a mystical blade forged by Origin which "just doesn't exist" and has properties that allow it and it's wielder to warp the very essence of time, space, and matter, and went through a hellish submersion in "make-believe matter" that turned me into a "non-existent" Seraph."

The soon to be former head of magi-tech opened his mouth, closed his mouth, and did a passable fish impersonation that made Botta chuckle from his place on the cot to the Seraph's right.

"In the name of the Renegades, for the sake of their lives for which your blatant ignorance and overweening hubris could cost, and for the sake of my sanity, I am striping you of your position. Send one of those "incompetent dreamers" that you're spent half of this meeting griping about here, to me, _immediately! _They'd have more wit than you. Efreet's hell fires-" He couldn't resist adding that tiblit just to make the man squirm in acute discomfort before he threw in his final insult. "-a lack-wit would have a better grasp of the situation than you."

"B... but..."

He managed to sit up, despite his throbbing skull and series of nicks and cuts all over his frame. He managed to push aside the covers and stand up, despite the fact that mana drain from the sorcerous fight with the Sages and Tethe'allan Chosen that had drained him down to nothing mana wise. Shaking, as weak as a new born colt, he drew his wings.

That was enough to send the man out of the room at a run, leaving only a scream behind.

"Impressive sir." Botta noted with a chuckle that ended in a hiss of pain.

Folding his to his side wings, Yuan managed to turn to face the bed before his legs buckled. A medic who had been waiting for the meeting to end with ill concealed patience approached her lord and firmly pulled him up to a semi standing position, adverting her face so she wouldn't get a face full of feathers for her efforts. She unceremoniously dumped him on the bed then rolled him over so he lay on his stomach.

Labor done, the half elf gingerly sat on the side of his bed, panting. Obviously his hundred thirty some off pounds was heavy for the woman's spindly limbs. She clearly wasn't build for hard labor. Still, he cracked a slight smile, and took a stab at himself.

"One of those wonderful things about rank, you get such outstanding treatment in hospitals."

Botta managed a weak laugh, that ended in a croak of agony and the girl turned a charming red hue. Yuan even unbent to croak out a laugh at his lame joke. The girl only looked flustered, and he spent a few words to assure her it was best not to roll him over on his back. The wings, he explained, were sensitive as hell.

As to how she could help him...

"Knock Botta out, he's a pitiful sight-" Ignoring his Second's relieved sigh Yuan continued, "-then send me someone from the magi-tech department that looks intelligent and flexible. Someone who annoys the hell out of that pompous bastard that just left. That's a good mark of intelligence, someone who annoys the closed minded fools around them just by being themselves."


End file.
